Hey all! I've been waiting to do this story forever! ReViVed was nice and all but it didn't have that crazy humor that I really like to write. So, my minions, here is a story that will fulfill allll my wants and needs! This story has no Slade or any villainous encounters nor problems. Just problems we Teenagers face everyday. Well, maybe not all of them in here...
I bring to you!:
Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity
Chapter 1: The Mighty Definition
Everyone knows that there's a time in everyone's life where you wonder if you have gone completely crazy, nuts, insane, strange. By definition, INSANITY is defined as seriously, mentally ill. But it also means..extremely foolish.. Well folks, if 'extremely foolish' the def. then we are ALL insane. So, really, there's an excuse for the behavior you are about to be a witness (and a victim) of...
"Starfire! Where are my oven-mits and apron!?"
"Oh! You mean the pink ones??"
Cyborg spit out a big gulp of orange juice across the table. Right where Beast Boy was sitting..
"What the hell man!?"
Cyborg payed no mind to the green teen as he erupted with laughter, "DUDE! You OWN an apron?! A PINK apron!?"
Robin turned a wonderful shade of magenta, "Um..well you see they had no more red at the store and the sales girl was really hot and-"
Starfire immediately ran up to Robin, eye to eye, and so very close.. , "Who is this 'hot' girl of which you speak of?"
Robin backed up to the kitchen stove, "Come on Star, you know there's no one prettier than you..She wasn't hot at all!" A huge sweat drop slid down his head.
Beast Boy folded his arms smugly, orange juice still sliding down to his chin from his hairline, "Then WHY did you buy the pink apron?"
Robin turned his head to the guys, then back to Starfire. As he continued, they became bigger and bigger, pressuring him to answer.
Robin went down on his knees on the tiled floor, "BECAUSE I LIKE PINK!"
Everyone's eyes got big as saucers. Their mighty hero...liked pink.
Robin continued with his admitting, "I like it! Love it, okay?? I even have a pink teddy bear!!"
Starfire's eyes lit up brightly as she heard this new piece of information, "Oh joyful! We can do so much to your room now that you have admitted to the truth that you love pink! We must start right away!! Come Robin! Let us lead you into the beautiful world of feminine hues!"
With that said, Starfire hoisted Robin to his feet and flew out of the room, Robin being dragged all the way.
As he descended off into the darkness, one final shriek was heard.
"NOOOOO!!!! IT WAS JUST AN APRON!!!!!"
Beast Boy and Cyborg turned slowly faced one another. "Holy crap.."
3 minutes later..
"I'm gonna beat you this time Cy! There's no way you can stop me now- NO!"
Beast Boy watched in horror as the his car burned up in flames. Cyborg laughed heartily, "I'm waiting.."
Beast Boy's face became dark as he handed over 40 bucks..
Without warning, a huge thumping sound boomed in the Tower.
Beast Boy, frightened, eyed Cy, "D-did you hear that?"
Cyborg nodded, a scared looked creeping onto his face, "Y-yeah.."
It sounded once more, causing the guys to hug each other.
"We're gonna DAI!"
A loud and ear-piercing scream sounded throughout the halls and rooms of the Tower.
Beast Boy started to shake, " Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, holy crap.."
Cyborg peered over the couch, looking into the deep and dark hallway, "There's something in there... Holy shit there's something in there..!"
Beast Boy let go of Cy and peered over the couch too, "But what?"
Cyborg stood up and put on a brave face. The American Flag appeared in the back round.
"Only one heroic and courageously way to find out.."
"Hello, exterminator?" Cyborg twirled his finger in the telephone cord with Beast Boy by his side, the thumping still occurring.
"Yes, we have a very huge problem." Cyborg listened quietly to the exterminator. After 5 seconds he turned to Beast Boy helplessly and mouthed, "What problem do we have??" Beast Boy thought for a moment. A light bulb flashed above his head and he changed into a mouse.
" A very huge vermin problem."
Beast Boy reverted back to human form and gave the thumbs-up sign to Cy.
Cyborg returned and continued talking to the exterminator, " Address? 15 Titans Tower, Jump City, California." Cyborg ended proudly. A look of worry suddenly appeared on his face.
"W-what? Oh, um yes. Yes we do live on a secluded island.. Um.. The vermin SWAM to the island. Yes. No I'm assuring you sir, they did in fact swim to the island."
Beast Boy nodded his head and whispered, "Good!"
"What the hell are you two do-Mmph!"
Beast Boy quickly turned and dove to the ground with the intruder. Which was Raven.
Beast Boy looked worriedly back at Cy then to Raven. She did not seem pleased with his hand over her mouth. Not to mention completely on top of her.
Raven removed his hand from her mouth and stood up, shaking the boy off. "What the hell?!"
"SHHHHHHH!!!" Beast Boy brought her down again and rolled behind the couch.
"You little fucker!! I'm going to KILL you!"
Beast Boy hurriedly ran out from behind the couch. Raven did also, following Beast Boy's tracks around the room, eyes glowing red.
Cyborg stood dumbfounded with the phone. "What sir? The noise? Sir that's the vermin!"
Beast boy ran past Cyborg with Raven behind him holding a knife.
They both disappeared behind the couch once more. Cyborg put his metal hand on his ear from the noise this brought, "Sir I'm telling you! It's not a party! Yes...yes..Of course I'm positive!"
Silence came with the shriek of pain.
Cyborg snapped his head to the location of the couch. "That was my roommate, um..Chanel..She saw the vermin.."
Beast Boy came into view, tied up in rope. He angrily mouthed to Cyborg, "Chanel?!!!??"
Raven's hands grabbed Beast Boy again, pulling him behind the couch.
"No! Please! What are you going to do with that?? No!!"
A loud boom sounded once more, which made Raven immediately stand up. "What was that?"
Beast Boy stood up also and angrily spat out the sock that was in his mouth. "We don't know!" He whispered angrily.
Cyborg sighed, " Thank you sir. We'll prepare with mouse traps, gag rags, knives.. Okay. Please hurry!" He placed the phone back with a click.
He turned to Raven and Beast boy, "He's coming.. And with champagne!"
Raven crossed her arms, "What?"
Cyborg put a hand behind his neck, "Apparently, he thinks a party is going on whilst there are vermin in the house."
Raven cocked her head, "Vermin?"
Beast Boy cocked his head, "Whilst??"
"Are you sure it was a smart idea to give the exterminator 5 glasses of champagne!?"
Raven whispered violently at Cyborg, who had in fact gave the exterminator 5. glasses. Of champagne.
"Shh. Calm down Rae. We just need to feed him somethingthat willabsorb the alcohol." Beast Boy tried to console the angry half-demon.
Raven rolled her eyes, "Oh so let's just feed him a sponge!"
Cyborg massaged his closed eyes, trying to calm down, "Okay. We'll just send him down the hall. So, if the thing eats him, then we can just say he was drunk!"
Raven put her hands on her hips, "And what is this thing that you two have been babbling on about?"
Ironically, a boom and shriek echoed down the hallway.
Beast Boy came out from hiding behind Cyborg, "That thing!"
So Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy and..the drunken exterminator descended down into the dark hallway.
"You know what's so good babe? Ube-beans!" The exterminator put an arm around Raven who was smoking, carrying a bottle of wine in the other.
Cyborg gently took the exterminator's arm off of Raven, "Let's keep touching to a minimum please. Just find the vermin."
A small tremor sounded. "The Ube-Bean leader of matrimony has founded me!"
The exterminator ran off to the source of the tremor. "Come my fellow bindings! Follow me and I shall pronounce you wife and dude!"
Cyborg slapped a hand to his forehead at the stupidity. Beast Boy merely blinked in confusion.
"Doesn't matrimony mean a marriage thing?"
"I know one thing," Raven pushed Beast Boy in front of her, "Your gonna be his wife."
Beast Boy let out a huff and the group continued walking, following the drunken man..
5 minutes later they found him pressing his ear against Starfire's bedroom door.
"Shh...the ceremony's taking place... Pizza Hut will be here with chicken soon.."
"Sir..are you sure the thing's in there?"
The exterminator nodded his head, "Negative my fiend..The thing of Ube is definitely in here.."
Cyborg spoke up, "Umm...Maybe I should open the door, okay?"
Hestepped back, leaving Cy to open the door that would change their lives forever..
"Titans..All I have to say is..if I go down, I want you all to move on. Don't weep for me because I will be-"
Raven gave a huffy breath, "-Just open the door."
A throbbing nerve appeared on Cy's temple.
As he reached for the knob, Raven turned to Beast Boy, "Where are Star and Rob?"
The door 'swooshed' open to reveal something that would disturb all of mankind..
A feminine and a masculine gasp sounded before there was nothing but silence.
Robin, the mighty leader of the Teen Titans, was dressed in a pink tutu, tied to a chair. Starfire stood next to him, putting his hair into small, pink bows. The thumping had occurred when Robin tried to escape.
Beast Boy and Cyborg stood wide-eyed and synchronized in saying, " Holy crap.."
Raven stood next to the exterminator, also wide-eyed. She finallyturned to the drunken guy and said calmly, "Let me have a slug of that wine Hugh.."
A/N: A bit short, but hey, all my first chapters are short. Longer chapters, I promise. sigh I'm still working on the epilogue for ReViVed. I just want to get the epilogue over with. Not that I don't like it, it's just I feel that the story has ended and I leave you off where you know that everyone will be alright. But I promised that I would do an epilogue, so that's what I'm gonna do.
Next Chapter: Low-Fat Mayonnaise
Sound clip: "Oh my God! This stuff is great! Low-fat all the way baby!" "Yeah! It tastes the same and my pants feel looser!"
Oh The Sweet Realms Of Bath Salts
Sound Clip: Beast Boy and Cy burst threw Robin's door and ran into his bathroom. "Yo! Rob, Star! What the- Oh my GOD!!" "Shield your eyes man!"
You guys can help me decide by reviewing and telling me which one you want. :)