Disclaimer: Well, since Ari and I obviously don't own any of this, except for the storyline, and the plot, and the problems, and the- oh, sorry 'bout that. Just read and shut up!
The Third Incident
How Was Your Twitch?
"La, la, la!" Joey sang as he walked into the house. He could hear the T.V., so he knew that Kurama was home at least. He walked into the living room to find that his assumptions were correct. "Yo, Kurama! Anyone else home?"
A slight nod told Joey that some of the others were home. He walked into the kitchen to find Hiei and Inu fixing it up. " 'sup?" he asked as he walked over to the fridge.
Inu dove in front of Joey to keep him from opening the fridge. "No."
"Not until after dinner." Hiei said, half way in the oven, trying to fix it.
"NOOOOO! You can't do this to me! I must eat!" Joey wailed.
"You are going to set yourself on fire, that you are." Kenshin said as he took his shoes off at the back door.
"Please do not start this again!" Kurama sighed as he walked into the kitchen to get something to drink.
"Why aren't you in front of the T.V., Mr. Couch Potato?" Inu inquired.
"Commercial." Kurama replied shortly.
"Oh. Hey Inu, where's Sesshó?" Joey said, turning his attention to Inu-Yasha, who had his head wedged behind the fridge.
"I dunno." Inu replied as he pulled his head out from the situation he had gotten himself into. "SESSHÓ!"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT!" Sesshó yelled back.
"He's upstairs." Inu said before he shoved his head back behind the fridge.
"Obviously." Hiei said, climbing out of the oven.
"Watch it there… um…. uh…" Inu searched for the words.
"I think you mean wittle one (I'm sorry Ari! I couldn't help myself!)." Kurama offered helpfully. Hiei death glared Kurama. He smiled nervously and edged towards the living room. "Uh… I uh… um… oh look, what do you know? The commercial is over." Kurama ran back into the living room.
"Coward." Hiei said triumphantly as he turned to fix the burner on the stove.
"Like I said before, you are going to set yourself on fire, that you are." Kenshin said as he sat down to clean his sword.
"Hiei." Inu said as he began to wash his hands.
"What… do you want!" Hiei snapped.
Inu slightly pointed above Hiei's head. Hiei didn't have to look up. Joey and Kenshin snickered quietly. Hiei death glared them as he walked over to the sink, filled it with water and dunked his head in.
"Look, wittle Hiei set his hair on fire."(I'm sorry Ari! I did it again!)Sesshó said as he walked down the stairs with a brush in his hand. He continued into the living room, all the while ignoring Hiei's cursing. He sat down on the couch and began brushing his hair. "Kurama?" Sesshó asked.
"Hmmm?" Kurama replied, not looking away from the T.V. "Which direction?"
"I don't care. Just move."
"Okay, okay. I'm going, I'm going." Kurama said as he moved slightly to the left.
"A little more. Keep going. There! Now… where's the remote?" Sesshó asked as he looked around.
"Isn't it obvious?" Kouga said as he walked down the stairs and into the living room straightening his kilt.
"Kilt-boy is here." Nuriko said, following Kouga down the stairs.
"At least I'm not a crossdresser!" Kouga shot back, offended by the insult to his kilt.
"Well, at least I fall in love with my own race!"
"Leave me out of this!" Kagome yelled, having just come inside.
"Yeah, leave her out of this! Besides, do you fall in love with men or women?"
"What do you think?" Nuriko dared Kouga to answer.
"Men?" Kouga asked tentatively. A look from Nuriko set him off. "Nuriko's a homo!"
"No da." Chichiri said as he walked into the living room from who knows where.
"Nuriko's gay!" Inu asked as he came out of the kitchen wiping his hands. Joey and Kenshin followed him. Last was Hiei, who was drying his hair with a towel.
"Nuriko's crooked! Nuriko's crooked! Nuriko's croo-" Kouga chanted.
"I AM NOT GAY! I'M NOT! I'M NOT, NOT, NOT!" Nuriko cried.
"SHUT UP!" Kurama bellowed.
"What's going on?" Ranma asked as he and Ryoga walked into the living room.
Everyone else, having heard the ruckus, came from various places in and around the house to see what was happening.
"What's going on?" Yusuke asked.
"Yeah, what's going on?" some of them asked.
"Was that Kurama?" Nuriko asked.
"He's never done that before." Inu said, scratching his head.
"You do not need to yell so loud, you know." Kurama said, his eyes glued to the T.V. screen.
"Well, that was fun..." Botan broke the silence. She, Keiko and Sango had walked in with Chinese food but they stopped when they saw everyone staring at Kurama.
"Kurama, turn off the T.V. and come eat dinner." Megumi called as she walked into the kitchen.
"Hiei, Inu. Did you fix the kitchen?" Botan asked as she set the food down on the counter.
"You mean the kitchen with its gazillion problems? With its broken oven, fridge, stove, microwave, can opener, toaster, deep fryer, and dishwasher? Yeah, we fixed it." Inu replied as he grabbed six bags of chips from the cupboard.
"All of it! It'd take a week to sort out each problem, a month to fix it, and then we'll have to do it all again!" Hiei yelled.
"Okay! Everyone! Come and eat!" Botan ordered. Everyone got their food and went to various places in the kitchen and dining room.
"Kurama! Turn off the T.V., come, and eat!" Botan yelled. Everyone continued to eat and talk.
"KURAMA! TURN OFF THE T.V. AND GET OUT HERE! YOU NEED TO EAT!" Botan yelled again.
"Did you want something, Botan?" Kurama asked.
Botan jumped around and found herself face to face with Kurama. "Uh… uh, yeah. Eat." Botan said, trying to hide her surprise. She wasn't shocked that he came, and neither was anyone else. Kurama would disappear every now and again and reappear somewhere else (doing who-knows-what...). They spent the rest of the night eating and talking.
"Argh!" Hiei groaned as he shoved his blanket into his ears.
"Yargh!" Kurama groaned as he shoved his head under his pillow.
Drip…pitter patter…drop…drip…pitter patter…drop…
"Hiei! Kurama! Get up!" Inu called up the stairs. "Yusuke! Kuwabara! You too!" The four boys dragged themselves out of bed. Kurama first, then Hiei, then Yusuke, and last was Kuwabara.
Kuwabara, being the klutz that he was, tripped, fell into Yusuke, who fell onto Hiei, who fell into Kurama. Kurama fell forward and collided with Inu. They all hit the ground. As they untangled themselves, Kouga looked into the hallway to see what was going on. He sweatdropped at the sight. "You know, if any of the girls see you like that, they might think you were crooked like Nuriko." he told them as they untangled themselves.
"I AM NOT GAY!" Nuriko yelled from the dining room.
"Yes you are!" Kouga replied as he walked back into the kitchen.
"Kuwabara, you're such an idiot." Inu said as he pulled himself out from underneath Kurama. Kurama then heaved Hiei and Yusuke off of him and he stood up. Hiei was practically flattened by Yusuke and Kuwabara because of his small size (no offense, Ari).
"If you were any more engulfed by stupidity, I would kill you out of pity." Hiei snapped, the last one to get up.
They all walked into the kitchen and each of them sat down in various locations. Sango gave each of them a cup of coffee. While Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei drank their coffee, Kuwabara tried his hardest not to fall asleep.
"Tasuki, Miroku! Get up!" Inu called up the stairs.
Slowly, everyone filed out of his/her bedroom and into the kitchen. They all got some form of caffeinated drink. The rain ended after a few hours and everyone's spirits seemed to rise. However, the commotion of the day started around twelve noon.
"AHHHH!" Botan screamed from the kitchen.
"What? What's wrong?" Tamahome asked as he skidded into the kitchen. (hopefully not on his back like I did the other day. Luna, you were there, right? I ran into the kitchen and fell...)
"Look!" Botan pointed from on top of the counter. Tamahome looked and saw a little flea.
"A flea?" he asked.
"Don't just stand there. KILL IT! KILL IT!" she shrieked.
Tamahome stepped on it. He and Botan watched it for a few seconds until it shocked them both by popping back into 3-D. It hopped away from the kitchen before Tamahome could step on it again, then into the living room and landed on Inu-Yasha. He didn't notice it as it started to suck his blood. Inu instinctively squished it. He looked down at it as it popped back into 3-D again.
"Lord Inu-Yasha!" it squeaked.
"Well, well. If it isn't Myoga the flea." Inu stated with resentment.
"INU-YASHA!" Botan screamed.
"Is this supposed to be some sort of sick joke or what? Did you think it was funny?" Botan deathglared Inu.
"No, no. Not at all. I really didn't know he was here. Or coming, for that matter..." Inu insisted.
"Lord Sesshó-Maru? Where are you?" a little green toad/chicken asked as he walked into the living room.
"EEEEEEK!" Keiko screamed.
Sesshó dropped his brush, jumped up, grabbed the toad's staff, and whacked him over the head with it. "Jaken! What are you doing here?"
"Sesshó!" Keiko yelled. Sesshó turned around and found Keiko and Botan death glaring him.
"Botan. Don't y-" Miroku started.
"Shut up! Because Inu-Yasha and Sesshó-Maru are having fun scaring the girls, all of the boys-yes, I said all of the boys-will clean the yard and the house."
"But, but-" Yusuke complained.
"No buts! Now, go get tools out of the shed or get stuff out of the closet." Botan said.
"Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, Kurama…yard. Ranma, Ryoga… house. Inu, Sesshó, Kouga… yard. Miroku, Sano, Yahiko…house. Kenshin, Kaiba…yard. Yugi, Tristan, Joey…house. Tamahome, Tasuki…yard. Chichiri…house. Nuriko…yard." Keiko read off.
"I thought you said just the boys." Nuriko complained.
"Shut up, Nuriko. Come over here and help us." Inu said as he got up from his seat.
"Yeah, Nuriko. Would you rather clean out the closet?" (Hint, hint, nudge, nudge. You get it Ari? Not really, so you'd better tell me... death glare) Kouga taunted as he got up, straightening his kilt.
"Ha ha. Not funny." Nuriko said as he flipped his hair.
"Stop, please. Everyone knows Kurama is the master at hair-flipping." Kuwabara snorted.
Kurama smacked him upside the head. "I am proud of it." Half of the boys twitched. (There it is. The first twitch of the chapter.)
"Get working!" Botan yelled. They all jumped up and ran outside.
Ranma rummaged through the closet looking for junk. He mumbled to himself the entire time. Sano walked in and began making the bed. Ranma turned around with a huge armload of old clothes, magazines, books, and other things.
"Geez, Kuwabara has way to much junk in here." Ranma said as he shoved everything into the trash can he had brought upstairs.
Sano was fluffing the pillows. He picked up one of the pillows (an anonymous green frilly pillow, mind you), and instead of fluffing it, threw it at Ranma. He fell backwards into the hallway. Ryoga, Yahiko, and Chichiri peered out from Inu's room.
Ranma got back up and flung the pillow back into the bedroom. Seconds later, he was back in the hallway. Again, Ranma flung the pillow back into the bedroom. Ryoga, Yahiko and Chichiri sweatdropped. They went back to working. Ryoga slid under the bed and began throwing stuff into a pile near the door, or where he thought the door was... Chichiri was making the bed while Yahiko organized the closet.
"Boys!" Botan yelled from the bottom of the stairs. All the guys froze. "Boys!" Botan called again.
"Y-yes, Botan?" Tristan stuttered.
"Are you done yet?"
"Good." The entire group breathed sighs of relief as they continued to clean the house.
The boys walked into the shed. Yusuke looked around and then picked up three pairs of gloves. He dug deeper in the pile of tools and found gardening supplies. "Tamahome, Tasuki, Nuriko. You garden." Yusuke said as he handed the gardening supplies to them.
Hiei glanced around and found two brooms. " Inu, Sesshó. You can sweep." Inu snorted as he took the brooms. He handed one to Sesshó.
Kouga picked up a weed whacker. "I'll go after the weeds." Kenshin picked up two rakes and handed them to Kurama and Hiei.
"Kenshin. You know how teh work a lawnmower?" Tasuki asked.
"O-of course I do..." Kenshin replied nervously.
"Sure you do..." Tasuki rolled his eyes and began explaining the lawnmower. They filed out into the yard and began working. Around 1:30 they were still working, but the rain had made the ground easy to work with.
"Geez, I'm so tired." Inu whined.
"Quit complaining." Sesshó replied, chucking a mudball at Inu-Yasha.
"Oh, so you want to have a mudball war, hmm? You're on!" Inu yelled, scooping up a handful of mud. In mere moments, everyone working outside was involved. The mud was everywhere, and the guys were not a pretty sight.
"Hehehehe." everyone looked around to see who was laughing. "Hehehehe."
"Who is that?" Kurama asked.
"Dunno." Inu replied.
"Look what we have here." someone said. Everyone looked around. They found themselves facing at two demons.
"Hello Naraku, Kagura." Sesshó said as he looked down from embarrassment.
"Hello, Fluffy." Naraku replied.
"Who's that?" Yusuke whispered to Inu-Yasha.
"It's Naraku and Kagura. Naraku killed Kikyo a long time ago so he could get the Shikon-no-Tama." Inu replied.
"THAT'S A MAN!" Yusuke yelled, bewildered.
"I know. I look like a woman. It was a terrible childhood accident…" Sesshó and Inu twitched.
"Naraku. It's alright." Kagura said, trying to comfort him.
"Question. How can both of you be here if you're an incarnation of him?" Kouga asked Kagura.
"Long story, but technically I am his offspring." the wind demon replied.
"Boys!" Botan yelled from the front porch.
"Y-yes, Botan?" Nuriko asked.
"Lunch is ready! What in the--you all had better be clean when you come in, unless you want to spend the next week scouring the floors..." Botan smiled and she turned around and went inside.
"Have fun." Naraku said as he and Kagura continued to walk down the street. The guys hosed off obsessively, put their stuff away, and walked inside to eat lunch.
"Everyone! I have an announcement to make!" Botan gushed cheerfully. Everyone stopped eating and looked at her. "Because of our last trip, everyone remembers the cruise, I presume? I have marked our calendars for another vacation."
"Where will we be going this time?" Yugi asked.
"Well, I'll give you three clues." Everyone nodded and exchanged nervous glances. "It's cold there. We get lessons for something that you can only do when it's cold and we're going to a place in the snow." Botan said, a mischievous grin on her face.
"Uh-oh." some of them said.
"Don't tell me we're going to learn to-" Yugi started.
"Yep." she chirped.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone yelled…..