Disclaimer: I do not own Peacemaker Kurogane or Ruronin Kenshin. The following fic is inspired by the works of MisBehavin & BabaraSheridan, The Meiji Journal & Mibu Dispatch Times.
Got kinda inspired after stumbling across records of secret papers like the Ladybug (kid's publication in Nazi-occupied Denmark) and a commie paper Malayan Beacon that was actually delivered door-to-door during the Malayan Emergency. Yep, they had the balls to leave copies at the gate of the police station.
If the Shinsengumi can churn out their own paper, why can't subversive elements like the Choushu Ishin do like?
New Kyoto Post
Working for a Brighter Future!
Welcome to the pilot issue of New Kyoto Post brought to you by Ikeda-ya
Why this paper, you ask? Well, fellow samurai, we have recently heard disturbing reports of bored ronin making a nuisance of themselves due to lack of local knowledge. In addition, a shocking number met their untimely ends in street brawls.
So my friends suggested to me we start a little something to inform our brother samurai from out of town by and increase their odds of surviving the lovely sights and sounds of the fair city of Kyoto.
Kindly desist with the current practice of affixing ads, editorials, employment notices etc. to dead corpses. Only 'Tenchu' notes will be permitted.
We will be accepting advertisements and personal notices. Try and keep it clean as we also cater to the families of samurai. Look out for our advice column, once my colleague manages to persuade a certain someone to be our columnist. Direct all enquiries to the Ikeda-ya front desk.
Let us move forward to a brighter future for our country.
Chief Editor Ikeda Yori,
MURDER INSIDE JOB?
After months of investigation, police have yet to uncover any leads as to the brutal murders of former Shinsengumi Chief, Serizawa Kamo and his cohorts. The late chief and his close associates were found with multiple slash wounds while still in their futons. One can only wonder what manner of coward would attack a sleeping man. Rumors hint at an inside job. We can only conclude that the peacekeeping force is either unable to solve these foul murders, or have a vested interest in letting the perpetrators go unpunished.
Kyoto Survival Guide
by Vice-Editor Katsura K. & staff
You are a young honorable samurai fresh in from the countryside. This is your first time in a big city like Kyoto. However, there are hazards to be aware of in fair Kyoto. You do not want cut down by some common thug in white & blue, do you? Here are some pointers to ensure an enjoyable stay.
Travel with friends. If you must travel solo, have the address of a reputable inn or hostel. (Like Ikeda-ya. Ano… Ikeda-san, your advert is NOT going on the first page. Gomen…) If possible, register with the local samurai association. They provide assistance to samurai needing board, meals or travel expenses.
Be discrete. Getting involved in street brawls may be fun but this is a high risk activity. Even if you survive the brawl, you risk running foul of a particular group of overenthusiastic bakufu dogs. You may be summarily executed. Trust me. There's nothing honorable in having your head displayed on a bench before your fellow tourists to gawk at.
Avoid unnecessary night excursions. We have the misfortune of being plagued by a pack of so-called peacekeepers whose motto is: Slay first, Ask questions later. They are highly dangerous, especially after dark. They should be given a wide breadth even in daylight. I will touch more on this particular group in the next issue. If night travel is necessary, be ever alert. Have your swords with you.
This is all for Kyoto Survival Guide in this issue. I look forward to giving out further tips in the coming issues.
As an after-note, I'm pleased to announce that my sister, Umeko, has kindly agreed to dole out advice for your problems from the next issue onwards. Address all letters to Umeko's Kitchen, Umeya. Just don't ask her for directions.
Kindly note also, that you shall not unduly harass my sister. Understand?
Ikeda-ya Fundraiser Notice
The Ikeda-ya Traveler's Aid is short on funds due to the recent influx of country samurai. Ikeda-ya's management wishes to remind all more fortunate samurai to donate generously to assist their brother samurai. Ikeda-san was reported as having donated 5,000 ryou to the aid and was quoted as saying: "Wonder if Katsura-san can match that?"
Interested parties can make their donations at Ikeda-ya's front desk. Please note that we only accept ryous. Credit or donations in kind will not be accepted. NO more body-bags!
-- Ikeda-ya management
Want to create a brighter future free of oppression? Have conviction and drive? Join us at YMSA (Young Men's Samurai Association). We are a group of civic-minded samurai seeking to overthrow, er, create a brighter future for all.
Contact us c/o Ikeda-ya
All samurai who wish to benefit from our Traveler's Aid fund are reminded to register with Ikeda-ya's in-house samurai association. We will assess your eligibility for aid on a case-by-case basis.
-- Ikeda-ya management
Katsura, meet me immediately regarding your redhead charge at the usual place.
Family physician Takani Ito requests that certain samurai do not threaten to burn down his clinic. He states that it is his duty as a doctor to treat all patients, whether they are Choushu Ishin or bakufu dogs.
You are reminded not to scare off the only certified doctor in Kyoto still willing to treat us… (cough, cough…)
-- Takasugi (cough)
Ikeda-ya, a reputable inn catering to traveling samurai. Reasonable prices. Edible food. Clean, vermin-free lodgings thanks to our in-house rat-catchers. Rooms offer a scenic views of Kyoto's busy streets and the river. Pleasant surroundings. Excellent in-house security. Our staff is pleasant and polite. We do not cater to the likes of Tokugawa bootlicking dogs.
Warning, er, Notice to all guests of Ikeda-ya
The female, and certain male, staff of the inn requests that guests not force them to engage in activities beyond their stated duties, or face being pinned to the wall by kunai or shuriken. If you should require your needs be met, we are willing to recommend a respectable teahouse in the Shimabara entertainment district.
-- Akazuki, chief waitress
Want a decent meal at reasonable prices? Visit Umeya, a family-oriented restaurant. Note that troublemakers will be shown out by our trained staff.
Vacancies for able swordsmen in private security positions. Must be discrete. Strong conviction and constitution preferred.
Apply via Ikeda-ya
Read & Review welcome! More snide references to the boys in blue and white in the next issue. Suggestions welcome! I put this fic in PMK because... well, you'll find out later.
Umeko is an OC,a bit like the Choushu version of Ayu-nee. I took her from one of my other PMK fics Silent Stars. The Chief Editor is also an OC. Find out more about them in the later issues.
In case you're wondering, I timed this pilot issue to be just before the start of the PMK anime & about the time Kenshin gets to Kyoto. I will continue it well past the Ikeda-ya incident & include some spoilers from the PMK manga.
Thou hast been forewarned.