Lord Celeborn's Mysterious Disappearance

Author: Ellfine (a.k.a. Ellie in other realms)

Characters: Elladan, Celeborn, Haldir, Elrohir, OFCs/OMC

Disclaimer: Most of this stuff is Tolkien's and I make no money from it.

Betas: Special thanks to Ellen123 and GeorgiaPiper for their services.

Note: This story was written for a challenge at JulieFiannaArchive and was so much fun I had to post it here, too. Lucky you. Let me know what you think.


Lord Celeborn's Mysterious Disappearance

Arrian entered Elladan's office in a violent swish of royal blue gown and lustrous silver hair. Her face livid, she clutched what appeared to be a thin, stiff blue board in her white-knuckled hand. Rounding on her bewildered husband as he innocently sat at his desk, she unleashed her fury.

"Elladan! He has done it again. I swear if he were not your daeradar, I would…" She bit her lip at Elladan's menacing glare.

"He is our lord as well as my beloved daeradar, and I will not have you speak of him in that tone of voice," Elladan reprimanded sharply.

Her chest heaving with each breath, she exhibited obvious restraint. Nostrils flaring, she resumed her rant in a slightly calmer voice. "Elladan, it is the year 2005 of the Fifth Age and we are still in Middle Earth! That…That ELF," she spat with obvious loathing, "is the only reason why we have not sailed to the Undying Lands yet. And now he has taught our son English and the ways of men in this modern world. Elladan, our son is so engrossed in this modern world that he may choose not to sail with us. What would you do then?"

Elladan considered the whirlwind of fury which ordinarily was his beautiful, gentle-natured wife. It had been a while since she had complained like this. In the last few years her need to sail had grown greater and indeed so had his. Celeborn had been ready to sail, then changed his mind a few years ago and kept putting them off for "a few more years". He had also taken to disappearing for a week or two at a time every few years. He would then return with what Arrian referred to as "fantastic tales" which he related to Elladan's impressionable young son and Elrohir's fanciful young daughter. In fact, Lord Celeborn's mysterious disappearances had yet to be adequately explained, and he had just recently come home from yet another of them.

Elladan had greatly appreciated the close relationship that Celeborn had formed with his son who bore the silver hair and grey eyes of Celeborn's kin. He knew Elrohir felt the same about their daeradar's closeness to his own golden haired little princess who was the image of daernaneth Galadriel. However, he also felt that teaching their young peredhil about the world of men, which he and Elrohir were determined to leave soon, was going a bit too far considering their young ones had the choice between mortality and immortality before them, too. As the wives of Elrond's twin sons so often reminded their husbands, there would be no choice for their children to make if they knew naught but the ways of elves.

Taking a deep breath, Elladan rose from his chair and came around the desk to his wife. Grasping her trembling shoulders, he looked into her lovely eyes. "My lady, why do you bring this up again? What has daeradar done to anger you so?"

"You will be furious, too when you find out the reason behind Lord Celeborn's mysterious disappearances," she assured him rather irritably. "And our son and your niece lied to us about going camping and hunting with Haldir and his brothers for the last two weeks. Our son and your niece were with Celeborn instead."

Eyes wide with surprise, Elladan took a step back. "How can this be?" he demanded. "Where is your proof? Haldir and his brothers are loyal to my family and have protected us for thousands of years. Any one of them would gladly give his life for us. How can you accuse them of lying like this?"

"Because of this." With a self righteous smirk on her face, she handed him the blue board she had been holding, which actually turned out to be three thinner blue boards made of a flimsy material Elladan could not readily identify.

He gasped as he saw in the items the proof of what she had said. "I just cannot believe..." he said incredulously, then rage filled him.

Turning on his heel, he left of his office, vindicated wife trailing behind, and stormed down the hallway to his daeradar's study. Without bothering to knock or announce his arrival, Elladan bounded through the door, surprising Celeborn, Celeborn's two guilty young followers, and three former march wardens of Lothlorien. The six rose to greet Elladan without even bothering to attempt to hide the purple books they all held.

Taking a deep steadying breath, Elladan addressed his daeradar.

"Lord Celeborn, what is the meaning of this?" Elladan angrily thrust the three blue boards in his daeradar's face.

The youngsters exchanged looks of fear at having been found out, but the former march wardens kept their well-trained faces devoid of expression.

Much to Elladan's surprise, Celeborn smiled. "Ah. I see you have found some of the spoils of my latest travels." He gestured to the books which each of the guilty six held. "And the other prizes we won as well."

Elladan rounded on Haldir. "How could you lie to me about where you were taking the children?"

At a nod from Celeborn, Haldir drew himself up into his best "arrogant captain of the march wardens" pose before responding. "I was following orders from my Lord and Prince. He told me that if my brothers and I accompanied him, then the children could go along on the adventure this time. We knew that you would object to the children going out into the world of men, even for so tame a reason as the one for which we ventured forth. So, I told you what I was ordered to tell you, and we kept the children safe during the journey."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Elladan sputtered, "B...but what could possibly be worth risking the children and lying to me?"

This time Celeborn answered. "Haldir was acting under my orders, so it is I who deserves your wrath, not he. Dear son of my daughter, the thing that was so important was this." He held forth one of the purple books. "The children and I even won free copies."

Elladan was thunderstruck. "For a book?" he choked on the words.

Celeborn smiled. "My boy, if you had only taken the time to read the series, you would have begged to join us."

"For a stupid book you took my children out into the dangerous world of men? For an idiotic series of books, you have made us delay our departure to Valinor and the reunion with our kin?!" Now Elladan was the one shaking with rage.

"It is not a stupid book. It is actually quite good. There is only one more in the series, so you can still join us when we go get the last one in a few years. Then, and only then will I be ready to leave this Middle Earth forever. You see, I have to know how the story ends."

Unable to contain her fury any longer, Arrian exploded, "You have been making us wait to travel to the Undying Lands because of a series of books? Have you completely taken leave of your senses?!"

At that moment, Elrohir came rushing into the room. Seemingly oblivious to the dangerous air surrounding his brother and sister-in-law, he enthusiastically piped up, "Daeradar, I just finished the fourth book. It was incredible! I can't wait to start on the fifth one. Will you show me the pictures from the book selling party you just attended for the sixth book?"

Still ignoring his twin, Elrohir wrapped one arm around his daughter and the other around his nephew. He held the three boards in a fanning arc in order to see the pictures on all three boards at the same time. A huge grin spread across his face.

"Oh, Daeradar, this is amazing! It is no wonder you three won the character look alike contest at the book store. Dressed in black cloaks with your hair unbraided, you three really do look just like Lucius and Draco Malfoy and Fleur de la Coeur!"


Notes:

Yes, the reason for Celeborn's final delay in sailing is that he wants to finish reading the Harry Potter series.

daeradar – grandfather

daernaneth - grandmother