The Diary of Kelly the Tactician!
Kelly's Mood!: CUTE AND THOUGHTFUL
The Weather!: Like, I
don't know. I'm busy being cute and thoughtful.
Where Kelly's Army Is!: Um. Like, somewhere.
Todaaaaay, I led eeeveryone into veec-to-lee! And stuff. I can't remember all of it, but I know I did a totally awesome job and all! Then Kent complimented my hair. Teehee. But I totally know where he was coming from! My hair is like, gorgeous. I use Pantene! It's like… honey… and… chestnuts and… honey roasted peanuts… except, you know, curly, and.. gorgeous and… Did I mention I use Pantene?
Riiight. ANYWAY, I'm cooking tonight! Except, like, I can't cook. That's okay, though! I'll seduce Sain into doing it for me!
…except, like, he can't cook either.
New plan! I'll sit here by the fire—because it illuminates my face in the warm glow of the sparkly red and orange and sort of blue and a bit of white stuff and I look pretty. And cute. And thoughtful!
I like looking cute and thoughtful. It makes me feel special!
OHMIGOSH. DID YOU KNOW WHAT THAT LITTLE PANSY ELIWOOD CALLED ME TODAY? HE CALLED ME 'MARK.' LIKE, OHMIGOSH. KELLY IS SUCH A BETTER NAME THAN 'MARK!'
I hate Eliwood! He's smelly and weak and I don't like him!
Luv, Kelly. Mwuah, mwuah.
Kelly's Mood!: NOT HAPPY!!!!
The Weather!: IT'S
Where Kelly's Army Is!: A stinky smelly boat.
We're like, on a BOAT. It's STINKY, and SMELLY and I DON'T LIKE IT! But I get to keep all the cute boys so I'm like, sort of… uh… happy-ish. Um. How do all the people fit on the boat anyway? You know, like, what with the piratey-crew-people and… me, and… kElLy's ArMy and all.
My brain huuurts. Eliwood was like, telling me to stop thinking because it hurt my brain. I think that's the smartest thing he's said all year!
…HEY. HE INSULTED ME! Um. I think. RIGHT. That's it! I'm making him die next time! I'm never going to let him go up another level! (Even though he's like, level 2 at the moment… but STILL! He'll never see past level… 2!)
Oh, and we found that Nini-girl. She thinks she's sooo cool! Just 'cause she's pretty and all. PFFSHT. I'm more gorgeous than her! I AM! I DON'T SEE WHAT HALF THE MEN IN THE ARMY SEES IN HER. HMMPH.
But, like, Erky complimented my hair today!
Kent already did that. PFFSHT. If he wants my love, then he'll have to try harder!
P.S: Eliwood is like, crying. He's such a pansy! Haha!
Kelly's Mood!: Sulky.
Where Kelly's Army Is!: Smelly island. Kent says it's Valor. Pffsht. That's a silly name. I'd call it Happy Pony Land.
Today, we got off the Stinky Smelly Boat. And we got this new pirate guy! He's like, called Arrows or something. I don't care. He's not gorgeous. Um. Hello. Why are we getting someone who's not gorgeous?
And he's SMELLY, too.
Right! And then we met this totally BORING GIRL called Fiora. She's so boring! And not pretty, like me! And her sister is BORING too. She's so shy! AND WEAK. I'm never using her again. OR ANY PEGASUS KNIGHT! They're all so stupid and running after arrows and stuff!
I'm supposed to get this totally cute wyvern rider called Heath later according to this 'gide' book thing I've been reading. I don't like, understand it much. But that's okay! I'm pretty! Pretty, and witty and gaaay.
Which reminds me! I'm a lesbian now. I mean, Kent went off with Fiora (I hate her!) and Erk's like, not making any more advances and every other cute guy is IGNORING me! So now I'm a lesbian.
Kelly (the lesbian)
Kelly's Mood!: I'm not a lesbian!
Where Kelly's Army Is!: Pony Gate. Or something.
I'm not a lesbian anymore! We got this HOTT thief called Legolas. Or something. I wasn't like, paying much attention. But Legolas is a cool name. Well, it is to me because it's the same one as that HOTT elf from Lord of the Rings!
OMG ORLANDO BLOOM. He's so HOTT. Um… right! TODAY, I DISCOVERED THAT I'M NOT A LESBIAN, AND WE GOT A HOTT THIEF CALLED LEGOLAS. There we go!
I'm so benching Matthew now! Maybe I'll let him stay if he gives me his cape. I love that cape. It's so red. And capey. Capes are so sexy.
What was I talking about? Oh, right. So, we're at Pony's Gate. Well, it's 'Dragon's Gate', actually, but I like ponies more than dragons, so it's PONY'S GATE. I love ponies! They're so cute! But I don't have a pony and like, everyone else does! How is that fair? I'm the gorgeous, smart one that makes them do things! They just like, fight and risk their lives and stuff like that. Hmmph.
I want a pony!