Shipping News–

By: Ariana Snicket

Rating: PG - PG-13

Disclaimer:

See chapter numero uno.

Summary:

The Baudelaires are being shipped to a very distant relative. Again. Unfortunately (for the family they're being shipped to), or fortunately (for the Baudelaires) there's already an orphan there. His name: Harry Potter.

WARNINGS:

I can't think of any at the moment…

Notes:

Okay. Can y'all tell me what ships you want (if any), so I can try to add a little romance to the soon-to-be angsty story? Hehe. Sorry. I shouldn't have told you that…

Reviewers:

Wow. Thank you all so much for your reviews, they're really inspiring!

fiona baudelaire: Thanks! It just started out as a doodle. I was trying to draw Harry, but it turned into Klaus. And then I had this idea to do an ASOUE/HP crossover. And I'm very sorry for the delay in update, writers block is evil. –sheepish grin-

Rock Raider: -evil cackle- you'll just have to find out…

Nny11: No, you're right. They don't… -grin-

Meteora Theory: That IS a burning question… one you'll just have to wait for… -laughs evilly in a 'I'm going to make them go to- oops, should NOT have said that' way-

ZeldaDragon: Thank you for the constructive criticism, I'll be sure to check my grammar! I'll even have Aunt Josephine come and write it, if you want. On the other hand… no, um, nevermind. '

xOx HeavenSent: Not good. Not good at ALL… -grin-

ChibiYugiYasha: Thanks! Here's a chapter for you.

Sharada: Thank you very much! I hope you like the later chapters too.

The-bulldog-writer: -smile-

ultimate-animefan25: I'll try and make the chapters longer, if I have time. On the other hand, if I have this REALLY, REALLY, good idea and write it down, you be asking me to shorten the chapters… -grin- Here you are! A (hopefully) longer chapter.

BabyRose129: Here's another chapter you can read, I hope you like it. I'll have more chapters up in a couple days, so you can be finally relieved of your Grr-ness. This takes place in place of book 7-9. So Klaus is a couple months over 13, and Violet is about to turn 15. Sunny's, um, about 2 and a half. There will be ships, but I'd rather you specify which ones you want. –evil laugh-

Caladbolg777: Yes, I like your advice. I can't promise I'll follow all of it though, because I have a couple ideas that may be good for the plot, but I'll try... It's always nice to have reviewers add their thoughts and constructive criticism. Thank you!

fairy12123: PIZZA! –quickly hands over the third chapter and drools- Thank you! I'll be sure to have more chapters up quickly.

Miya Sparrow: It died for a moment… -sigh- But its up and alive now! –grin- Thanks for your reviews!

miSS yUnz: Thank you! Here's an update. Hope you like!

ON TO THE STORY!

"Oh." The boy said, and stopped laughing. He started grinning instead. "I'm Harry. Harry Potter."

Violet smiled and lowered Sunny to the snow-sprinkled porch floor so she could walk around and stretch her cramped legs. After Sunny toddled away, Violet placed her hands on her knees and stood back up, smoothed her dress out and shook the snow off of her head.

"It's very nice to meet you, Harry, Harry Potter." She said, holding one hand out and wrapping the other around her waist of her dress to keep warm. Harry paused, the grin slipping off his face like paint. He looked at her hand, and then shook it, (Violet only now noticed how bony it felt) his face completely blank as though he feared her fingers might break his wrist.

Klaus stared. When Harry turned to him, he smiled slowly and apologetically. He knew how Harry must feel; getting people dumped on your doorstep wasn't a common occurrence, and this boy may have had past experiences that caused him to be wary of strange things. Apparently, he knew nothing of their arrival. This was just as unexpected an event as a letter arriving telling you of wonderful things you knew nothing about. At least, he thought he knew…

Instead of walking around, like Violet put her down on the ground to do, Sunny had clung to Klaus's leg, which he glanced down at now. Her arms were wrapped around his knee, and her face was turned upwards in a classic 'pick me up, please' way. She wasn't quite sure whether to trust Harry, and considering her past experiences, that was totally expected.

Klaus picked her up. "She's afraid of people that she doesn't know." He said, in way of explanation. Sunny nodded, shaking snow off her nose as she did so. Klaus understood how wary Sunny felt, and shared his feelings with her about this boy. Harry seemed nice, but there was something about him that was…wrong. Odd. It didn't feel right.

There was a slightly awkward silence, in which Klaus looked at Sunny, Sunny nibbled on her fingers, and Violet looked at the floor. Unexpectedly, a slightly nasal voice interrupted the silence.

"Children!" Mr. Poe said, coughing slightly. Violet looked startled. She had forgotten she was even there. Klaus jumped slightly at the ridiculousness of Mr. Poe's appearance. On his shoulders there was a dusting of snow, but not his hair. The bowler hat covering his hair, unfortunately, was a different matter.

"I will leave you here, along with the adoption papers and your suitcases. I trust you will get along fine with Dudley-" here he pointed at Harry-"and will behave nicely and properly. Good afternoon!"

Mr. Poe set down their suitcases on the porch, handed the adoption papers to Klaus, and trundled down the cold driveway to the car and got in. Klaus stared, dumbfounded, at the car, holding Sunny in one arm, and clutching the papers in the other. Mr. Poe was leaving them? Just like that, without even talking further to their new guardian? Of course, Mr. Poe was always acting that way, just dropping them off and leaving them there, in a strange place, with strange people. He never knew what was happening until it came up and bit him on the nose.

Klaus, Violet, and Sunny swallowed their anger, sighed, and turned to look at an incredulous Harry, whose blank face had slipped and showed a hint of emotion. Violet looked closely at him, wondering. Her inventing mind began to work.

"My name is Harry!" He called to the car, but Mr. Poe didn't hear him because he was pulling out of the driveway, and soon, driving down the street. Then he was gone.

"Callie," Sunny said into Klaus's shirt, but came out more like "Galbee" since her head was buried in wool. It meant, "May we please go inside? I'm very cold."

Harry must have seen her shivering, because he suddenly opened the door behind him wider. "You look freezing. Come inside, I'm…pretty sure my Uncle won't mind." He sounded like he doubted it.

Violet took a step forward, looking at Harry's face, which nodded and stared back at her, agonizingly emotionless, except for his eyes. They seemed to glint for a second with triumph, but Violet was sure she had imagined it. What in the world could have triggered this change in him? Just a couple moments ago he was laughing and grinning. They didn't do that…did they?

It was a tense moment as the Baudelaires stepped through the door. Time seemed to move in slow motion, and Klaus was sure he saw the lights flicker for a second. Then he felt something very odd that seemed to brush his face, like a cool gust of wind, but more real. It was like a wetted cloth was beingdragged across his nose and cheeks, but so lightly that he only felt a tingle on his face. Whispers coated the air like blankets, and it was like something was brushing him off, inspecting him for something evil, something odd, and something unfathomable.

Then everything was normal, and his foot touched the carpeted hallway, and he looked around, confused. He siblings were shivering, and he knew they had felt the same sort of feeling as they had stepped through the doorway. Violet looked at Harry, whose face was no longer blank, but relieved and disappointed at the same time. It was like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and all the tenseness was pouring from his body.

Sunny's teeth chattered, and she clung to Klaus harder. She didn't know what happened, but whatever happened had happened so fast that she didn't know if it was a dream or not. It was scary. There was something wrong with this boy, this house. But at the same time, it was like she had escaped from some sort of bad, frightening world, and it was only safe in this house, with this boy, who was a strange sort of savior for a different realm. And as she looked at her siblings, she knew that they felt nothing of what she was, and only knew the experience of stepping through that door.

Harry quickly shut the door.

"I'm sorry. I'm not used to newcomers, unless they're relatives of people I know. Which, I guess, you qualify for." He said, smiling.

Violet was startled at the change that once again came over the boy. Even her inventing mind stopped working on the 'lie all you want but I'll find out' machine she started thinking about when she first stepped through Harry's door. There was something he was hiding. Something big.

But she just brushed it off, unaware that later, she would wish she hadn't. She would wish dearly.

Harry sighed as Klaus put Sunny down. Confused, Klaus watched her toddle over to Harry and bite his hand, gently. Harry raised his eyebrows.

"She likes you," Violet clarified quickly, surprised, once again,at this sudden change of events. Sunny didn't like him at first, right? She sighed; relieved that at least Sunny was warming up to Harry. She didn't want a huge fiasco happening whenever Sunny saw him. That would just be embarrassing. "If she bites you hard, she really, really doesn't like you."

Sunny smiled up at Harry, who looked down at her through the thin lenses of his round glasses and smiled back. Sunny knew she would like this boy, she just did. It was like they shared something in common, a special trait. She just didn't know what it was.

Then they were all brought back to earth by the loud yell that echoed across the house.

"Uncle Vernon," Harry sighed, and ruffled his hair. "He'll be wondering if I got rid of you yet."

"Got rid of us?" Klaus asked. Sunny's eyes widened. Violet bit her lip.

Thundering footsteps sounded.

"BOY! Did you ward them off? Did you-"

"No," Harry stated coolly, as Mr. Dursley's shape walked around the corner of the incredibly clean carpeted hallway.

Mr. Dursley's face turned livid, a putrid sort of red color. A vein near his temple started to throb rather horribly, and his fists clenched at his sides. His beady little eyes searched Harry's face. "You what?" He asked rather dangerously.

"I said, 'No,'" Harry said. He turned to Klaus. "Can I see those?"

Klaus handed over the crumpled papers to Harry, who held them out to Mr. Dursley, who snarled in a very menacing way, mustache quivering. Violet stepped backwards and scooped up Sunny. Klaus didn't move.

"Here. You're supposed to sign these, so they can stay here." Harry said, smiling politely, as though this was some sort of game instead of a very, unfortunate-looking situation.

Mr. Dursley roared. "YOU DO NOT BLOODY COTROL WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS BLOODY HOUSE, YOU WILL NOT DISOBEY ME, AND I SAY THEY CAN'T STAY HERE!"

He lumbered over the Harry, snatched the papers and one hand, and raised the other as if to strike Harry.

"I'll tell Lupin." Harry stated calmly.

Sunny watched as the whole situation reversed completely. Harry's words seemed to push Mr. Dursley so that he stepped back and dropped his hand, fear suddenly evident in his eyes. His back hit the wall, and he clenched the adoption papers to his chest. "You won't. We haven't done anything!"

"You were, and I will." Harry said slowly, and Klaus could see he enjoyed this power he had over his uncle. Who was Lupin, anyway? Klaus had read that 'lupus' means 'wolf' in Latin. Interesting last name.

"Are…are they…your kind?" Mr. Dursley asked after a moment, his voice seemingly firm, but cracked, spitting the word as if an insult. Violet stared at him in confusion. What did he mean, 'your kind'?

Harry turned and looked them over, then stared at the door with his abnormally green eyes. They seemed to bore into the door like knives. "No," He said finally. "They're Mug- I mean, normal."

Mr. Dursley heaved an enormous sigh. "Good. I won't have any more wishy-washy nonsense in this house. It's enough having one good boy and one runt to take care of then three other effing…" he looked at the Baudelaires "…runts."

"Evi Mand NO!" Sunny shrieked, which meant, "We are NOT runts!"

Klaus glared at Mr. Dursley, who gritted his teeth and started to tear great clumps out of his mustache. "Fine," He growled. "But they're earning their own pay. Now GO TO YOUR BLOODY ROOM. And NO SUPPER."

"Sure, sure." Harry said, grinning, but before he could lead the Baudelaires away, a very bony faced woman who looked rather like a horse stepped into the room. She stared with narrow eyes at them, looking as though they had soiled her best carpet with mud.

"Who are they, Vernon?" She said in a simpering, whiney voice that made the hairs on Klaus's neck stand up.

"GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Mr. Dursley bellowed, and Harry smirked but complied, leading Violet, Klaus and Sunny down to the end of the hall. Muffled voices started talking behind them, but Harry just led them on, not pausing to look back. Doors branched off into other incredibly clean rooms, and a staircase cut into a wall on their right. The Baudelaires all wondered the same things: Who was Dudley? Where would they sleep? How would they work for their pay? How would they eat? How would they survive?

The stairs were creaky, especially near the middle, where Klaus supposed someone had jumped on repeatedly in recent years. A particularly loud creak cut caused Harry to roll his eyes, but of course all the Baudelaires saw was a hand smoothing his wild black hair down.

There was a hall at the top of the stairs, like the one downstairs, with four rooms branching off to the sides. As they passed one room, they could hear loud gunshots and obnoxious music playing. But before they could take a few steps farther, the door opened.

Standing in the doorway was the largest boy the Baudelaires had ever seen in their entire lives. He was so big he almost had to walk sideways to get through the door. No more than 5 chins were attached to his face, and his piggy little eyes were just like his fathers'. His bulk, however, was slightly due to his muscles, which had developed even more with his constant boxing practice. Of course, when the Baudelaires saw him, they were immediately intimidated.

Sunny whimpered and Violet picked her up, afraid she would be flattened if the monster even took one step towards her. Klaus took a deep breath, but Harry just looked at the enormous bulk that was his surrogate brother and smiled.

"What was it that you wanted, Dudley?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"Who're they?" The bulk asked, a voice rather gruff but high at the same time.

"Your new family members."

As a frustrated roar echoed through the neighborhood, as all this was happening, no one in that house noticed that they had left a certain couple of suitcases on the front porch, and no one noticed that they were suddenly gone, and that black shadows crept across the street, whispering.

No one knew.