French Toast Has Milk

By: Hakai

Disclaimer: I (Hakai) don't own anything Fullmetal Alchemist related. They belong to their respectful owners. Beware bad writing skills.

A/N: drabble. Yep. Drabble… stupid, random… funny? I'd like to think so

Pairings: Roy/Ed


Edward Elric hummed to himself as began whipping the eggs. It had been two weeks since he'd started living in this apartment with Roy. Roy could cook, contrary to popular belief, he simply chose not to. Ed, on the other hand, could barely boil water. So then why was he awake at 6:30 in the morning making breakfast? That was a good question.

Even though the young alchemist wasn't very handy in the kitchen, there was one thing he could make without burning, and that was French toast. He couldn't remember who he learned to make it, only knew the he could.

Wiping his hands on Roy's apron he'd decided to borrow he began to dip the bread slices into his batter. Laying it out on the frying pan he smiled. Roy wouldn't be able to tease him about not being able to cook anymore. Not after he'd tried Edward's delicious French toast.

Just as the sound of footsteps and a yawn entered the room, Ed finished scooping the last of the bread slices into the plate.

"G'morning, Roy!" Ed smiled.

Roy yawned again. "You're unusually chipper this morning, Ed. And… holy shit! Are you making breakfast?!" Roy nearly screamed, quite awake by this time.

Ed frowned. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Roy eyed the plate of French toast cautiously. "It's not… poisoned, is it?"

"C'mon…" Ed said. "I wouldn't try to kill you. I still need you for sex!"

"Right…" Roy sighed picking up a piece of toast. Cringing as he put the substance into his mouth. As he began to chew, his face softened. And by the time he had swallowed, he was smiling. "Hey, it's not bad."

"What were you expecting?" Ed scowled. "Here, have some more. I used two eggs, so I made six French toasts."

"Six?" Roy asked as he began chewing on his second slice. "What did you do with the extra batter?"

"Huh?" Ed asked confused as he set the plate down. "Two eggs only make enough for six slices."

Roy paused mid chew to stare at Ed. Then at his remaining piece of French toast, and back at Ed. "What did you use?"

"Uh… Eggs, sugar, cinnamon, oh, and bread?" The blonde listed. Instantly Mustang dashed to the sink and spit out whatever food remained in his mouth. "What's wrong?" Ed asked feeling rather hurt that his lover had just spit out the breakfast he'd worked so hard on.

"You!" The dark-haired man wheezed turning on his subordinate. "You didn't use milk?!"

"French toast has milk in it?!" Ed asked, as if he'd just found out that the world was, in fact, triangular. "And I thought I was getting so good at it too…"

"Okay." Roy said sitting Edward down. "French toast has milk in it."

"French toast has milk in it?" Ed repeated confused.

Roy nodded. "I'll permit you to try again tomorrow. Don't forget. Milk."

"Ch'" Ed said crossing his arms. "Who needs milk."

"Spoken like a true Edward…" Roy sighed.

Ed raised an eyebrow. "Who else did you think I was?" He asked getting up and heading for the fridge. "Besides, you gotta admit. It's not that bad without milk, right?"

Roy cleared his throat. "My conclusion remains the same."

"The same as what?"

"That you, Edward Elric," Roy said pointing at the young blonde "can't cook at all."

Ed growled.


"Taisa," Hawkeye asked placing a stack of papers on Mustang's desk. "why do you have a black eye?"

The colonel sighed. "Because French toast has milk in it…"

Owari. End. Fin.


A/N: based off of something that happened to me yesterday. Somehow this is the second hagaren fic that's based off of something that happened to me. l0l. It's not my fault Ed can be tortured in the same way... please leave a comment! Sankyuu!!