Title: Polished

Author: Hawk Clowd

Disclaimer: You know the deal. I don't own them. I don't particularly want them. I'm listening to a song about an enormous penis and you aren't (to my knowledge). So there.

Blood type: Pearl Flash Revlon nail polish.

Warnings: Dialogue fic. Because I can.

Author's Note: Um... I don't paint my nails very often, but I liked to buy new colors and such (even though I never use them). I was at the grocery story today, buying food-products, and this one color caught my eye... so I bought it. And it's pretty. Shut up. Also. Many thanks go out to Neme, who helped out bunches. Thanks!

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"Hey."

"Oh, are you done writing? It's about time. You've been in your office for forever! I was starting to think you weren't going to come out and --"

"What's that smell?"

"What smell?"

"That smell. Are you cooking again?"

"I don't smell any... Oh! Oh, no, I'm not cooking! I'm painting my nails. See?"

"...You're painting your nails."

"Eeeyup."

"I'm going to regret asking this. Why?"

"Um... It looked... pretty?"

"It. Looked. Pretty."

"Yup!"

"..."

"What are you looking at me like that for?"

"I'm trying to figure out whether or not you're on crack."

"What?! Why are you doing that? Yuki!"

"Shut up."

"But...!"

"You realize, of course, that you are, despite what some people may think, a male?"

"Of course I do. Don't be dumb."

"Of course. You also realize that, typically, men don't paint their nails because the polish looked -- and I quote -- 'pretty', correct?"

"Yup."

"Ah. So, keeping both of those facts in mind, why are you painting your nails?"

"I've already told you. It looked pretty."

"And I have already told you. 'It looked pretty' is not a viable excuse."

"Are you saying that I can't paint my nails just because I felt like it and thought the polish was neat looking just because I'm a guy?"

"Something along those lines."

"Yuki! That's sexual discrimination! NG has lawyers! I can hire one and I could sue you for everything you're worth on charges of... of... What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Um... Well, it looks like you're... Oooh. That feels nice. Do it again."

"Hold still or I'll end up biting your ear clean off."

"Mmm... Yuki, that really... Oh shit."

"Hm?"

"Ummm... Don't turn around, okay?"

"...Why not?"

"Just... Just because."

"..."

"...Urm..."

"...You spilled the nail polish on my floor, didn't you?"

"Uh..."

"Yes or no."

"Yes. But... But it's okay! I'll clean it up, I promise! You'll never even know that I spilled it or that I messed up your carpet or anything, and --"

"You really know how to spoil a mood, don't you?"

"But I didn't mean to!"

"If you never did anything you didn't mean to do, you would never accomplish anything."

"Yuki!"

"Just clean up my carpet before that goddamned polish sets. And keep quiet. I feel a headache coming on."

"You're so mean..."

"And you're a fucking fairy. Get over it."

"...Do you really think so?"

"..."

"I thought it looked... I don't know. Kind of... Like it could be kinky?"

"Kinky."

"Yeah. I mean, I still have that schoolgirl outfit you like so much and..."

"..."

"..."

"Forget the carpet. We have things to do."

"But --"

"Forget. The. Carpet."

"Hee... Okay. If you insist."

---fin---