Dedicated to my Favorite Author Tiger5913 for making me dig up this fic, (this is quite an old one.) for writing beautiful SH stories, I loved each and every one. Hey! This isn't even as good as hers, but still…you know.
Disclaimer: All characters SH characters belong to Midway, Aruze, Sacnoth and whatever new name the current company holds the rights to.
My Soul Will Find Yours.
Shadow Hearts Fanfic by: P. Tribulation/ Blue Trinkets.
The dream came to him again that night.
As always, she came to him with tender love in her eyes, wearing the scent of something woodsy, something sweet...vanilla? The skin of her arms felt good around his neck as she embraced him, soft, silky and warm. Her body was pliant against him, unresisting, sweet and generous.
She was so tight and warm, very warm. And he felt as if she had encased him in the finest velvet, deliciously shaped to fit only him. He could hear the soft sound of pain she gave as he sank deeper, that slight resistance in her flesh. But his body had a will of its own, seeking her deepest core, hungry for her, yearning for her with needs that transcended that of the fire in his loins, a fierce longing in his very soul.
Vaguely he recalled that she was a virgin, that he was the only man she'd ever allowed to breach her feminine core. It had warmed his heart, his very soul to know that he was the first, the only one.
Damn! How many times had he taken her innocence? It cannot be helped, for the dream was always the same, it never changed. A few, smaller details would be clearer at times, such as the state of her torn clothes, or the sight of her blood on his thighs afterward. One thing is for sure, she was a virgin and he had been rough on her.
The dream would have been glorious if not for his lack of finesse. Why does he have to be a monster with her?
He had even tried to change the dream, in which he was the ultimate lover, gentle and loving as a man should be with the woman he loved. But it was no use, he was always the beast when it came to her. The dream always played the same. He took her without much consideration for her innocence.
And then he would wake up frustrated like hell, his body rock hard with longing.
It was merely a dream he had of her, but he was beginning to suspect there was more to it. It was no ordinary dream for sure, as it always haunted him night after night. Teasing him, tantalizing him, titillating his senses until he was certain he would go mad with desire...and guilt.
It's not as if he didn't recognize his carnal needs for her, Yuri simply knew that it's not just mere lust he felt for her.
She was the light to his dark soul, the essence of his being, his powers, his pleasures, his…pain.
She was the embodiment of peace, his happiness and the source of his confidence, the purpose of his existence.
He longed for her, hungered for her. Her very presence was enough to drive his loneliness away.
She was his haven, and yet she has also become his greatest tormentor, for ever since they have been together that first night in South Manchuria, he had wanted her. Wanted her as he had never desired another woman.
That was the reason why he flew away from her that time the Seraphic Radiance swallowed him in Shanghai, China. He had been afraid he might turn against her. He can protect her from many things, but can he protect her from himself? That monster stole his sanity and he had wandered for months before settling in that tower of Keith's castle.
And yet she searched for him, she and that old geezer Zhuzen came to that castle and somehow, Alice brought him back from the pits of despair and insanity.
How she managed to get inside his soul, Yuri didn't know, and come to think of it…the dreams only started after that night. Could it be?
Yuri shook his head, revolted to think he might have hurt her terribly. When all she has done was love him, loved him even when he doesn't deserve to be loved.
There was no way to know for sure except to ask her, but he wasn't sure how to ask her. It's not like something he could simply walk to her and say "Hey Alice, I dream of you every night, we were doing this and doing that, you sure you're not hiding something from me?"
The soft lilt of feminine laughter reached his ears. It was Alice, laughing at a rather scandalous, night apparel that Margarete was holding. The older woman seemed to be trying to convince Alice about the comfort of silk lingerie over that of cotton nighties.
To keep their minds off Neameto for a while, they have decided to revisit London. Master Zhuzen and Keith went to the tea house, while Yuri escorted the ladies to the numerous boutiques.
Alice bought so many items for the orphans, clothing, foodstuffs and toys. At present, Yuri was waiting outside with the many packages the two had bought. He wanted to go inside the modiste's shop and see for himself the 'lingerie' that Margarete was talking about, but Margarete had shooed him away earlier, claiming that men have no business with the shop.
Finally, the two came out carrying more boxes, giggling like school girls.
They went to visit the orphanage next, to distribute the gifts to the children and to see how Koudelka fared.
The kids were ecstatic, never in their young lives had they seen so many foods, so many toys! Chris even went so far as to cry shamelessly, which only embarrassed the adults.
Halley was up with his mother, though he was eager to open his own presents, he longed to speak to his mother first.
"Um. sorry about that." Yuri apologized as he and Alice climbed up the stairs. "Is it a bad time?" Mother and son seemed to have a special moment before they have interrupted.
"No, it's okay," Koudelka assured them.
"Whoa!" Yuri exclaimed, "I didn't know that, that damn—I mean that mysterious voice belonged to a beauty like you!"
Koudelka only laughed.
"Umm, I want to thank you for saving Alice, that time when that crazy old coot Dehuai almost sucked her life dry," Yuri said, a little embarrassed.
"No, no I should be thanking you for saving me from Albert." Koudelka shook her head.
"Hey Yuri, mom said I could come and help you with this battle with Albert, may I? I'd like to tear a real big piece off his as— I mean his butt, for what he did to my mother." Halley said.
"Sure, no problem, if your mom said you can come, I have no objections." Yuri agreed.
Halley looked up at him with something close to hero worship.
"Alice bought you some nice clothes, would you like to try them on?" Yuri said.
The boy's face lit up eagerly. "Sure! Where is it?"
"It's downstairs. Come with me, I'll show you." Yuri said, ruffling the boy's hair affectionately. Halley reminded him so much of himself, they have to look after their own asses at a very young age.
Koudelka looked at Alice, saw the burden the young woman carried.
"Alice, you've grown so much." She said.
"Huh? Oh! I only managed because everybody helped me." Alice replied, embarrassed.
"I can see the burden you carry for your loved one. Did you tell him?"
"No." She shook her head.
Koudelka frowned. "Alice, I don't know your reasons why you chose to keep it from him, but I think I understand. Still, you should tell him, he will protect you."
"Yes. Yes, I know." Alice said, smiling. She knows that Yuri would do anything to keep her safe, and that's why she cannot tell him, he would worry and get distracted and then he might lose track of what he should do to save their world.
She's only one person, she cannot bear it, if countless lives were lost because Yuri chose to protect her, to find the way to break the curse instead of fighting Albert Simon.
Perhaps, if God would permit that she lived long enough after that battle with Albert, then only she could tell him about the state of her soul.