There's, like, no plot. Enjoy.
Edited: Jan 9th, 2008
A Moment in the life of a Unit
The group stared at the campfire in a bored daze. They had something to do, but they were too lazy to fulfil the task that needed to be done--'sides, the lord's were also too lazy to do anything. The activity they had to do was oh so very important, but for the sluggish posse, something such as daunting as this could only be met with ignorance and disdain.
Soon the fire started to die down, and the unit looked at one another.
Serra was the first to speak up, leaning forward and bellowing, "I'm not going out into that dark forest! I'm too womanly!"
"Serra, shut-up." Matthew mumbled under his breath.
Guy stomped his foot on the ground and groaned. "How about we draw straws? The shortest one goes into the forest."
Everyone nodded in agreement to the idea--they thought it was mad cool. Eliwood took some straws out of his satchel--where he got them shall forever remain a mystery--and sliced some apart with a knife. He handed them out to the forty some people.
"Let's compare." Guy said and they all scrunched into the middle. Unfortunately, Eliwood had cut two of the straws the same, and they belonged to Karel and Harken.
"You idiot!" Hector called his friend, slapping him upside the head. Harken and Karel stared at each other, each with hate in their eyes.
"All right, I know how we will settle this," Farina said, clearing her throat, "By a vote, we will see who will go. And how will we vote, you ask? Well, we'll vote who is the cutest. The ugly one goes and gets the firewood."
Everyone stared at her. "That's the most-"
"It works!" Farina screamed at Karel. "Now everyone, put your heads down!" They did as they were told. "Who here thinks that Karel's hot?" She then began to count.
"Can you say cool? I'm not gay..." Guy whined.
"Yeah, yeah. Now who here thinks Harken's hot or cool?" She counted the people. "To an extraordinary unanimous vote, Harken wins, 40 to 3. Karel, go and fetch the wood."
The swordmaster was stared at throughout the campground as he got up, in silence, and went into the forest.
"Whoa! Who voted for Karel?" Barte asked.
Farinia, Guy and Karla raised their hands.
"I counted my vote." The Falcoknight admitted.
Guy shrugged while Karla said, "He's my brother."
Harken laughed evilly and waved his pinky in the air, like some rich Brit.
Serra smiled and looked around, "Well, I'm so glad it wasn't me. I know you guys couldn't live one minute without me!"
"Yeah right Serra. No one like you!" Erk and Matthew said at the same time. They both looked at each other.
"Huh? You too? You had to escort her?" The sage asked the thief.
"Me? Uh-uh! I work with her!"
Erk's eyes grew insanely large. "What? Ah, you poor, poor man you! You must've suffered so greatly at the hands of this basilisk, Sir Matthew!"
The thief nodded, "You see, she's just so...I mean--I wouldn't call her a basilisk. She's not ugly...but she's so..."
"Annoying!" They both yelled, giggling. Erk quickly stopped and composed himself. Matthew went on and on until Guy joined in laughing.
"Haha...what are you talking about?" The swordmaster asked. Erk filled him in and in a few moments, they were all cracking jokes on her.
"Look at that smile!" Guy pointed out.
"And her hair!" Erk said.
"And that pug nose!" Matthew stated.
Serra began to cry. "No! It's not fair! Someone stop them from making fun of me! Lord Hector! Stop Matthew-"
"So anyway Eliwood, how was...uh, how is your father?" Hector asked hurriedly.
Eliwood turned his head slowly to look at his friend and growled, "He's dead..."
Serra moved towards Oswin, "Stop Matthew from-"
"So anyway, Harken, Marcus, Isadora. How do you guys do it? Looking after Lord Eliwood? I mean, Lord Hector's too much to handle."
The two paladins and the hero shrugged, "Well we..."
Serra started to cry even more.
"And she's so loud to!" Erk yelled. Finally, Pent and Lyn pounced on them.
"Erk! I command you to stop this nonsense right now! A sage is true and honorable! He must not make fun of his peers!" Pent pulled his ears and dragged him to a corner. "Read this book!"
"But master! I have already--"
Pent turned around and made an ugly face, "I said read it, fool!" He bellowed in a deep voice. Erk nodded and quickly started reading.
Lyn starting to beat up Matthew. "You better stop this right now!"
"Lord Hector! Help me-" Matthew whined, covering his head from the blows he was receiving.
"So anyway Nino, how are you?" Hector asked.
Eliwood snickered, "Man Hector, you are so-"
"ANYWAY! Jaffar! How have you--"
Karel came back, with firewood. He dumped it on the fire and sat down next to his sister.
Serra laughed as her evil oppressors were being punished. Then she frowned quickly, "Hey! What about Guy? Rath you must yell at him."
Rath looked up at her. "Are you talking to me? No, I didn't think so..."
She next turned to Karel. The man snarled at her and she moved away. Next was Fiora.
"Guy, stop laughing."
The Sacean narrowed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. Last but not least was Eliwood.
"Guy, I'm in a bad mood. Could you please just shut your stupid mouth, you imbecile? If you do, you bring me the pleasure of not having to hear this brainless wench talking to me."
Guy's mouth dropped, well everyone's did. Even Karel's and Rath's.
"Those where big words. Alright!"
Erk snapped at them, "SHADDAP! I'm reading this magnificent book called Elfire given to me by my master!"
Eliwood, being in the bad mood he was in, leaped onto Erk and beat him up severely. Pent chuckled.