A/N: This is a one-shot I wrote for a friend. Filled with my dry and sometimes hard to pin-point humor and of course; a twist at the end. Read and enjoy.
'How do I always get myself into these types of situations?' the short redhead asked himself, as he crept through the forest, trying not to be seen. His life had been full of hardships, but he was sure this recent development had to be the worst of them all.
Himura Kenshin, or better known at hitokiri Battousai by others, had indeed been plagued by more troubles then any normal person should. Always threatened by men and women of his past, looking for revenge; psychopaths out, not only for his life, but the life of his loved ones as well; the police could never save themselves and always came crawling to him. It was enough to make a man feel older than he was.
Even before he had become a hitokiri, the world had decided to play cruel jokes on him. Stealing his parents from him at a young age, just to be picked up by slavers. Just when he thought he had found a new happiness in three girls, they too had been stolen from him; he had only gotten a day to spend with them. Just within that one day, he had felt a joy he was willing to lay his life down for, but he couldn't do even that. He had been protected by his adopted sisters instead, and they had been killed.
As if witnessing their deaths hadn't been enough, he watched as the bandits that had attacked him were slaughtered by a strange man. After chopping the bandits into a thousand pieces the strange swordsman had tried to give a depressing speech to the poor, stunned, nine year old boy, and then left him.
Alone, in a field of blood and bodies, what else could a scared, sad, timid little nine year old boy to do? Nothing but dig the graves for everyone who had died that night. As he finished burying over half a dozen people in the course of one night, who should show up but the strange swordsman from before? He introduced himself and offered for Kenshin to be his apprentice. Considering that Kenshin had been nine, alone in the world, homeless, not to mention there was a war going on, he didn't have much choice to begin with…
So he had gone to live with the arrogant swordsman named Hiko. Poor widdle Kenshin was basically at his new Master's mercy. Rigorous training, being called names constantly, and Hiko's attitude; it's surprisingly that he survived in the first place. Then after learning most of the Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryu, poor, confused and hopeful Kenshin ran off to make his life a living hell by joining the war.
'And now I wind up here,' Kenshin thought grumpily, picking a twig that had gotten caught in his hair free. He froze when he heard a twig snap not too far from his hiding spot. He held his breath as he watched his stalker move into view. They seemed intent on finding him, scanning the area carefully. Kenshin thanked whoever he could think of as the person moved off in the wrong direction.
With a quick sigh of relief, Kenshin knew this would be a good time to keep moving. He crawled out from under the bush he had been hiding under and quickly went in the opposite direction of his pursuer. His hand subconsciously clutched around the sheath of his precious sakabatou, ready to draw it out if necessary. He was known for his god-like speed, but here in the forest, against this adversary, he didn't think that would be enough.
He spread out his senses, which could pick up even the slightest bit of ki, in all directions. He picked up the ki of a few animals that were nearby, but he wasn't worried about them. To be honest with himself, he didn't think his senses would be able to pick up on this enemy, not this time.
His little friend that had started to hunt him was persistent, he would give them that. Tracking him for days, non-stop. Kenshin couldn't remember the last time he had been able to stop and eat, and all this constant running and hiding was taking a toll on his weary muscles. Did his attacker show any signs of tiring? Of course not. Every time they managed to find Kenshin they seemed to be full of life, well fed, and seemed to be able to keep up to Kenshin's god-like speed by merely jogging. How was this possible? Kenshin didn't have any idea, and it seemed every time he looked over his shoulder, there they were. 'Little bastard is probably toying with me,' Kenshin thought angrily, as he looked over his shoulder, just in case.
Oh, how he would like to just them a nice, large WHACK over the head. He grinned slightly at the thought. Imagining this pursuer's face as they rubbed their sore head, or being able to turn the tables on them as the person crumpled to the ground next to his feet.
Kenshin got so wrapped up in his thoughts of revenge that when something came shooting at him like a bullet, he was taken unawares. He didn't even have time to shout out in surprise at being found as the object rammed into his side, knocking him to the ground. The object turned out to be his foe.
"I got you now, Kenshin!" the person shouted, sitting on the poor rurouni's stomach, making it almost impossible for him to regain his breath. "You should know better than to run from me!" His attacker had something silvery in their hand; it glistened slightly in the sunlight.
Kenshin grunted and struggled against his attacker. He reached up and grabbed a fist full of semi-long blond hair. Twisting his fingers into the strands he yanked hard. "GET OFF OF ME!"
Angry at getting their hair pulled, his attacker head-butted him. "Let go of my hair! Is that how you treat a lady!" she mocked him, grabbing his other hand that was desperately trying to grab his sakabatou.
"Is this how a lady is supposed to act!" he yelled back at her, trying to twist away. He managed to roll onto his stomach, momentarily knocking the girl with blond hair off him.
She quickly jumped onto his back, pinning his arms underneath him. "YES!" She answered. "Now hold still!" Using one hand and her teeth, she pulled apart a large piece of duct tape. Moving in the blink of an eye, she managed to wrap Kenshin's ankles together. Kenshin hollered and tried to shake the crazed girl off him.
"You're crushing me!" he shouted, as he managed to get one of his arms out from underneath him. He tried to grab his sakabatou once more.
"Good!" she snapped back, grabbing the hand before it reached his sword. She taped it down to the back of his gi, and then she reached down and started to pull his other arm out from underneath him. "It would be a whole lot easier if you cooperate!"
"Never!" Kenshin practically growled as she got his other arm out and quickly taped it down with the other. Still not satisfied, she sat him up and wrapped the tape around him until he was a nice silvery mummy.
"There!" she said with a grin. "Now you can't get away."
"Let me go! Zig-zag, you CAN'T do this!" he shouted, right before she placed one more piece of duct tape around his mouth.
"Oh hush, you're my birthday gift for Nekotsuki, you don't want to disappoint her now do you?" With a wide grin, Zig-zag grabbed the end of Kenshin's pony tail. "You're such a cry baby…" she mumbled, dragging Kenshin behind her.
A/N: Happy Birthday Nekotsuki! Because of this… I am now a Mary Sue. -grins- Hope you like your gift! -Leaves a silvery bundle at your doorstep-
EDIT: Sequel time! Nekotsuki has written a sequel to this fic! It's chapter two of her fanfic called: Himura Kenshin's DayOff so check it out!