The Birth of Mallet-sama

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It is a commonly assumed truth that all teenage girls in Japan are able to summon up their own mallet to bash perverted boys with or random demons. It is believed that this is due to their otherwise inability to defend themselves, as many women who have strong skills in self-defense do not call out their hammers.

In a way this is true. Some girls, when confronted with either a pervert or a man who simply pisses them off for one reason or another and defeats them with either logic or showing them to be better in skills, these young girls often are able to summon their mallets and beat said boys or perverts.

This also invokes the second power of the Mighty Mallet, while it allows the wielder to remove the boy from sight; it also places a small ki field around the target, preventing them from being killed by the assault. As a result, the girl burns off her anger, and the target keeps from being killed. This secondary effect however does not prevent the target from getting hurt. In fact, some targets have spent months inside of hospitals recuperating from these assaults.

Some girls, however, are able to see this technique used and develop it on their own.

One such child who did this was known as Akane Tendo.


Our story starts with a ten-year-old Akane Tendo walking in Juuban with her older sister Kasumi. Kasumi had come to Juuban to buy some supplies for a school project she was working on, and had brought Akane with her. As they are walking down the street towards the train station to return to Nerima Ward, they see two children Akane's age standing in front of stairs leading to a shrine, each one wearing outfits denoting that they were studying at the shrine. As the two Tendos approached, they could hear an argument between a pig-tailed boy and a girl with matching black hair.

"It ain't my fault that I went cat and tore up the front yard. I told you to keep those furry little demons away from me."

"It doesn't matter, you helped wreck the yard, and now you gotta help me clean it up."

"No way! You're grandpa said you had to do it."


"Because your grandpa said you had to since you were the one who threw the cat on me."

"Well you were the one who scared me!"

"How did I scare you? I simply yelled out the door to come in! You were the one who threw that damn black cat at me!"

"It doesn't matter; you made the mess, now you clean it."

"Hell no, your grandpa said you had to, besides, he's teaching me to do fire readings in a few minutes."

"WHAT!? But I am his granddaughter, I'm the one supposed to be the fire priestess!"

"Well, I guess he decided to teach me since you're gonna be fixing the grounds all day. Besides, you know I'm better at that ki stuff then you are!"


"Its true and you know it. I can read the fire better, I can make my ki visible, I'm better at meditating than you, and I get my chores done quicker than you."

The girl finally snapped. "RANMA YOU IDIOT!"

It is said to this day that knowing the pig-tailed martial artist has forever made the girl have a short temper.

The two Tendo girls watched as the young fire maiden pulled out a mallet from somewhere, and hit Ranma with it, sending the poor boy into the air but allowing him to fall onto the shrine grounds.


"Yes, grandpa." The shrine maiden Rei made her way up the stairs.

"Oh my, that was unusual, I hope that poor boy Ranma is OK, that girl Rei seemed to hit him very hard." Kasumi then turned to her sister, who was staring at a trash can. "Akane dear, what are you doing?"

Akane closed her eyes, her hand reaching behind her back. "RANMA YOU IDIOT!" She pulled out a mallet easily twice the size of the one Rei used and bashed the trash can across the road, causing it to impact a dumpster and sending it thirty feet to the end of the alley. "Cool!"

"Akane, why did you scream out that that Ranma guy was an idiot?"

"It felt right for some reason?"

"Ok then." With that, the two left for the train station.

And that folks was where the Queen of Pain Akane Tendo learned how to summon her trust Ranma-assaulting Mallet-sama.


On a side note, it should be known that a certain black moon cat named Luna was hiding inside that trashcan from the Neko-Ranma, and received a severe concussion from the assault by Akane. She ended up being taken to a vet who treated her and placed a small bandage on her forehead. While she was being treated, she believed that she was a real cat, and met an orange cat (think Garfield) whom she had one child with. If you don't believe me, remember moon cats can only have one kitten at a time.

As an interesting side effect, it was four years before the moon cat remembered her mission and woke up Sailor Moon, so there was four years of time to train down the drain.

That kitten grew up to be named Nuku Nuku.

The father was eventually run over by a limo holding the two children of the Kuno clan.

But do not cry; this was a good thing. If he had lived, he would have been adopted by a young blond girl before she went to stay in England and become Sailor V, instead she adopted a white cat named Artemis who would have ended up in a street fight with Nuku Nuku's father and been unable to meet his new charge.

So all's well that ends well.

Well, well except for that poor cat. It's said that that cat cursed the driver of that limo to forever look like a rodent. Poor Sasuke.