Chapter 1:

Enter Sandman


Chapter Summary:

Well, this chapter is basically freaky and comes from being hyper off of cheesecake and Lay's® potato chips and Giant® chocolate milk and Coca-Cola®


Anyway, Cyborg has a GREAT idea, BB and Rae are like against eachother, Robin is anxious, Star wants to explain Gorka Pipes and how they cause baby-booms, and Cy wants to introduce Mr. Snugglekins to the world. Beast Boy wants to put his sleeping bag next to Rae's, Rae wants to find something to wear that doesn't involve navy-blue cloaks, black-leotard, or black-boots, and Mr. Snugglekins wants his determined world domination plots APPROVED!




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Beast Boy's nagging got cut off by a loud shrill scream.

You see, everyone's favorite perverted changeling was in kitty form, sitting on Raven's lap in the Main Room in Titans Tower, U.S.A., Earth, The Solar System-Place.

No, the shrill scream was not from Raven.

Raven was just sitting there, eyeing Beast Boy warily, plotting the domination of his little kitty dance.

Cyborg darted into the room, his very heavy metallic weight shaking the room's floor, and he was the one who had produced that very freaky and girly scream. He froze, and looked at Raven and Beast Boy. On Cyborg's face was. . . lip-gloss? O.O

"Dude. . . " Beast Boy stared at his best friend strangely. "Your lips are so shiny."

"Oh, but aren't they!?" Cyborg grinned. "It's candy pink lip-gloss from LipSmackers®!"

". . . Interesting. Very interesting," Raven lied, but she was looking for a way to get the horny cat off of her lap. So, with one rough movement, she shoved Beast Boy off of her, and Beast Boy bounced onto the floor with a yelp.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" The changeling changed back, looking at Raven with wide eyes.

Raven blinked. "Colorful vocab."

". . . Oh but isn't it?" Cyborg grinned. "It's the f-word! The ALMIGHTEH F-WORD!"

". . . Dude, shut the hell up. . . Please?" Beast Boy looked at Cyborg pleadingly, and Cyborg sighed, raising a hand and wiping off the pink shininess of his lips.

"Fine," The hybrid obliged against his will. "But I just came in here because. . ."

". . . Becaaaause?" Raven and Beast Boy gestured for him to continue. Cyborg was gazing down, his human eye was glossed over with a tear.

Raven anime-sweat-dropped. "Just.Tell.Us.What.The.Hell.You.Want."

But Beast Boy's heart wasn't as seemingly cold. His eyes got wide and shiny. "Cyborgy, old buddy, old pal. . . I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CRY! . . . So just tell what your f-ing idea was."

". . . Okey!" Cyborg cleared his throat, and instantly, his eye wasn't teared up. -gasp- IT'S LIKE MAGIC! CALL HARRY POTHEAD!







. . . Sorry 'bout that. Anyway . . .

"Okay, so guys, I got this idea!" Cyborg rubbed his hands together with a sneaky grin.

Raven's eyes widened. "Oh no. . . last time he had an idea. . . "


Raven was sitting on the couch wearing a pink dress that was slightly poofy, and a blonde wig. She also had on blue contact lenses.

". . . What does me dressing up as a preppy little girl have anything to do with your idea about making up theories about 'A Christmas Carol'?" She asked monotonously.

Cyborg, who was standing in the doorway with a tattered old top hat and a long tailcoat, resembling some old guy from the 1800's, shrugged. "Just wanted to play out that scene where Belle breaks up with Scrooge."

". . . Any reason why?" Raven blinked.

Cyborg cleared his throat, then started singing. "CAUSE I WANT YOU! I WANT YOU! I NEEEEED YOU! I NEED YOU!"

Raven's eyes instantly widened. "PERVERT!" She was out the door faster than you could say Guacamole.

Robin, who was standing in the other doorway, (A/N: Don't they have like 5?) murmured to himself: ". . . Weird. I always thought Cy was gay. . ."



"But guys, THIS idea is awesome-er than any other idea!" Cyborg jabbed a finger, then suddenly, both eyes became dark and demonic. "AND WE BETTER DO IT! 'CAUSE IF WE DON'T, SOME INNOCENT LITTLE PUPPY'S GONNA DIE BY MY HAND. . . TONIGHT!!"

Raven and Beast Boy just stared.

Cy blinked, and both eyes went back to normal. "What? Can't y'all take a joke?"

No one was laughing.

Until about 3.1239 minutes later, when Beast Boy started laughing hysterically and insanely.

Raven patted his back. ". . . Don't trust those coconuts, Beast Boy. They're ALL evil. . ." She attempted to calm him down, then found that was completely out of her nature, shrugged, and turned to walk out.

"WAIT!" Cy grabbed her. "You guys need to know my idea!"

". . . I'd rather not. Any ideas that come from you two" Raven pointed at Cyborg and Beast Boy"Are DEFINITELY perverted, therefore I will DEFINITELY not take any part in them, meaning I will DEFINITELY go off to do creepy Goth girl stuff in my room."

"Rae, just give him a chance!" Beast Boy pouted, putting on that irresistible, adorable wittle face o' his.

Raven's right eye twitched, but deep inside, something was churning. Oh yes, something INDEED was churning. She WUVED that WITTLE FACE O' HIS!!

". . . Fine." Raven sighed. "Okay, Cyborg. Go ahead. What's this 'GREAT' idea of your's?"

"Howsabout we Titans celebrate our astonishingly astonishing success of kicking bad dude ass and surviving in a tower shaped like a 'T' with at least 2 other members of the opposite sex along with some powerful hormones without randomly having boners and humping the girl beside us BY" Cyborg took a deep breath. "Hosting a hip sleepover in the Main Room!"

". . ."



Then suddenly, Beast Boy's cackling was heard throughout the tower.

"AH, YES! A 'HIP' SLEEPOVER! THE ONE HIP SLEEPOVER. . . TO RULE.THEM.ALL!!!" And he resumed laughing insanely.

And then there was silence again.

"Calm down, B," Cyborg blinked his human eye. "It's JUST a little sleepover." He shrugged. "Let's see if Robin says yes."

"YAY! YAY FOR THAT! YAY FOR YES!" Beast Boy jumped up in the air and did little cartwheels.

"Shut.UP!" Raven thwapped the little hyper-active Changeling boy beside her.

"Ouchies!" Beast Boy rubbed his head, but shut up as he was ordered and/or demanded to do so by Raven M. Roth.

Just then, the doors to the Main Room slid open, showing a happy Starfire explaining to Robin the magical art of playing Gorka-pipes.

Robin just grinned and bared it.

"And the music that emits from a Tamaranian Gorka-Pipe has been said to cause a rise in birth-rates of my home land!" Starfire chirped, yet she didn't fully understand why.

". . . So if you play those pipes, it makes people get horny?" Cyborg overheard and asked. Robin's face flushed, and Beast Boy's eyes lit up.

"Ya better keep those away from B . . ." Cyborg said, smirking.

"S-Shut up!" Beast Boy retorted, and Raven rolled her eyes.

". . . Especially when he's in a room alone with Raven . . ." Cyborg continued, smirking evilly.

Both Raven and BB's eyes widened.

Starfire cleared her throat. "As I was explaining to ROBIN, ONLY ROBIN, AND NEVER ANY OF YOU! ONLY YOU, ROBIN!" She took a deep breath and chattered on non-stop. Robin looked dazed, and very confizzled out.

". . . So is there any way that we could do something. . . I dunno . . . FUN, CONSTRUCTIVE, SAFE, ENTIRELY UN-SEXUAL, AND AS A TEAM tonight?" Cyborg looked hopeful as he asked Robin.

Robin took his attention away from Starfire for a moment, and looked at Cyborg with his mask-brows raised. (Yes, MASKBROWS! . . . How when he raises his eyebrows, his mask raises too! )

". . . Err. . . Depends. What kind of FUN, CONSTRUCTIVE, SAFE, ENTIRELY UN-SEXUAL, AND AS A TEAM activity did you have in mind?" Robin inquired.

". . . A sleepover in the Main Room. . ." Cyborg replied, grinning.

". . . Well there are many ways that that could get out of hand and become very erotic," Robin pointed out. "Seeing as. . . Well, hormones, girls in tiny pajamas. . ."

"I DO NOT WEAR TINY PAJAMAS!" Raven protested.

". . . Sleeping bags, romantic-comedies for movies, and food, and weird games. . ."

". . . Okay so what's your point?" Cyborg put his hands on his huge metallic hips. "Is it a YES or a NO?"

"Well, I don't know. I don't want the mayor coming after us once one of the girls gets pregnant. . ." Robin scratched the back of his head, being careful not to mess up his perfect spiky hair TOO much.

". . . PERVERT!" Raven proclaimed, jabbing a finger.

". . . Riiiiiight. . ." Robin blinked, and continued. "But, I guess if you all wanted one that badly. . . we COULD. But we'd have to be very careful to make it PG-13. Seeing as this fic. is PG-13."

". . . What fic.?" The 4 others asked confusedly.

"Robin! He is becoming the 'delusional'!" Starfire gasped.

"Nevermind. . ." Robin anime sweat-dropped.

Cyborg jumped up, hollered, and punched the air. "WOOT-WOOT! IT'S GONNA BE CAVIAR-EATIN', POT-SMOKIN', BABY-KISSIN', FLOWER-PICKIN' . . . ERR YEAH FROM NOW ON!"

Everyone stared.

"Did you steal that off of a Nirvana T-Shirt?" Raven asked.

". . . Nooo. I have a big brain!" Cyborg pointed at his noggin. "Jus' watch 'n learn."

"I'd rather not."


"To where?"

"I dunno. . . the bathroom?"

Raven shrugged and walked off, thinking to herself darkly: 'It's going to be a LONG, LONG night.'

Beast Boy thought for a moment, then called after Raven: "Rae! Hey, Rae! Wait up!" He darted out after her, leaving Cyborg, Robin, and Starfire alone.

Robin was anxious inside about this sleep-over thing. Just him and Starfire. . . oh, and of course the friggin' others. . . BUT HIM AND STARFIRE IN THE MAIN ROOM! WITH LANGERIE! AND HAPPINESS!

Cyborg was just happy that he'd get to introduce Mr. Snugglekins to the others.

-- -- --

A few hours later, Raven was rummaging through the clothing in her closets, her face falling when she realized that. . . EVERYTHING WAS THE SAME!

"Blue cloak, Black leotard, Black boots. . . OOH! A HAPPY BUNNY T-SHIRT! . . . Naw. . ." She pulled aside the hangers, taking a few down and holding them against her figure, gazing into the full-length mirror on her wall.

She continually sighed often, and would throw the clothing articles onto her bed, and go rummaging around more.


Beast Boy stood in front of Raven's closed bedroom door, and hesitantly raised a fist to knock very lightly using his knuckles.

'One little tap, and that'll be all,' he had decided mentally.

Finally, he tapped lightly on the door, then instantly turned to walk away.

That's when the door opened.

"Who the hell is it?" Raven's monotone voice asked, the door covering up half of her face.

"Uh. . . it's just me, Rae," Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck. "I was wondering. . . You know the sleepover tonight in The Main-Room-Unofficially-Named-Place?"

". . . Yeeees. . ."

"Well, anyway, I was wonderin' if you wanted to put your sleeping bag next to mine 'cause I sometimes get afraid of the dark and I could turn into a cute little puppy-wuppy and lay on you and if I change back in the middle of the night be in a pervertedly erotic straddling position that'll make me have a boner and make you all sugar-happy-and-and-and-"

". . . No." Raven stated simply, and closed the door.

Beast Boy's hopeful face fell. "Well, then," he muttered to himself, letting his head hang as he trodded down the hall in slow-motion.

Cyborg passed him 5 minutes later, after BB had moved 2 feet away from Rae's door. "Hiya, B!"

BB waved.

15 minutes later, Starfire floated by BB. "Hello, friend Beast Boy!" she chirped, and BB had only moved 3 feet from Rae's door.

BB waved.

28 minutes later, Robin walked by BB muttering "WHO IS SLADE? WHO IS SLADE?"

BB waved, after moving only 3.133344555 feet away from Rae's door.

3 minutes later, Aqualad discoed by BB. "Hey, Beast Boy! Betcha I can disco better than you can!" Beast Boy was 4 feet away from Rae's door.

BB waved, then stopped. "HEY WAIT! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE!"

". . . I'm not?" Aqualad blinked.


"Oh, well in that case!" Aqualad did the monkey and disappeared.

Raven finally opened her door. "Okay, Beast Boy, what do you want?"

"Huh?" Beast Boy turned around. "Oh. Hi. What do you mean?"

"You've only moved 4 feet away from my door in 51 minutes. There HAS to be something you want from me."

"Well, now that you put it THAT way. . ."



". . . If it'll make you shut up? Fine." Then Raven closed the door as BB did his little victory dance.


"YYEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!" Beast Boy jumped up, gripping his stubbed toe. "DAMN THIS WALL!" He punched it and it tipped over, revealing that it was cardboard. "Ooooh! Stage effects!"


WILL Beast Boy's toe heal? WILL Cy introduce Mr. Snugglekins to the others? WILL Rae survive and admit her love for Beast Boy? WILL Starfire ever figure out what the reason behind baby-booms after Gorka-Pipes are? WILL Robin ever find out who Slade really is? WILL Mr. Snugglekins follow through with his plots of determined world domination? WILL THE TITANS SURVIVE THIS NIGHT OF CHAOS!? All this and more, in the next chapter!