The Night of Chaos
WTF is Up With the Lights?
Everyone tells a scary story . . . cept for two people cuz I had an idea and HAD to go along with it . . . but still. And then weird things start happening after Robin's story . . .
So what the fuck is up with the god damn lights?
I GOT MY PC BACK! Okay, I wrote two beginnings to this chapter. I eventually used the one that I did first, ya know? But that whole nuprin thingy . . . came from the other one. So I added a chunk of it to this. That whole . . . Dustin Hoffman thing . . .
I am so obsessed with the nightmare before Christmas.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TEEN TITANS, NUPRIN, WAYNE'S WORLD, DUSTIN HOFFMAN, BARNEY, SHAKESPEARE, OR EMMERY, OR KEEPING SECRETS, OR THE DEVIL'S ARITHMETIC! I JUST OWN MR. SNUGGLEKINS! AND THIS STORY! SO HA! -sticks tongue out-
"Once again," Raven said blankly, blinking. "YOU CAN'T BE SCARY FOR SHIT, TIN-MAN! FPIOJFKSLD;JTEK!"
Cy stuck his tongue out, slowly stroking the top of his shiny head, trying to be shecksay. "You're just jealous because I am dead sexy," he replied seductively.
Rae raised an eyebrow. "Grab a mirror, and beg for forgiveness," she advised, as she helped the others rearrange their sleeping bags into a circle, with the food in the middle. She laid down, Beast Boy beside her, trying to slide his hand up her skimpy tank-top.
The android shrugged, grabbing a mirror and getting down on his knees screaming "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SHINY METAL THINGY I CALL A MIRROR! MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL!"
"Your wish…." There came a deep, Hispanic voice from the mirror. (A/N: IM NOT AGAINST HISPANIC DUDES!) Then it got cut off by a sudden grunt as the d00d let out a long, smelleh fart. He grunted again. "Is my command."
"Lyk oNg!" Star squealed. "is that the Banderas of Antonio?"
Cy cleared his throat, looking at the mirror.
A blonde wig suddenly popped out of nowhere on his head. His eyes got big, shiny, and anime-y as he sobbed happily "THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER! I NO LONGER FEEL UGLY OR DEPRIVED!"
"And blonde?" Rae offered.
"YEAHTHATTOO" Cy added. He then coughed, regaining his composure and grabbing the flashlight again, angling it under his chin so that if the dumb ass would turn on the light, it would make his face look . . . wrinkly and black and yellowy.
"it is now time . . ." he said in a deep deep voice. "To . . . salute our butts."
The robot bent over, patting his butt. "EVERYBODY DO THE SAME!"
Raven and BB and Star n Robin exchanged looks, but all laid down and patted their butts.
"NOW SHOUT 'OOGA BOOGA IN DA HOLE!'" Cy cried, slapping his cheeks harder. Everyone slapped harder.
"OOGA BOOGA IN DA HOLE!" all screamed, but BB has a 30 second attention span, so he shouted "CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS!" instead.
"NOW SQUEEZE YO' CHEEKS!" Cy demanded.
Everyone did just that, as BB blinked.
And somewhere, in Reading, Pennsylvania, a 12 year old girl named Mary (the 'i' is added cuz its cool) blinked, while listening to 'Whisper' by Evanescence for some reason beyond knowledge of the human species. And she looked at her English novel, 'The Devil's Arithmetic'.
"Now," Cy said, positioning himself and grabbing pizza. "We begin."
"What is a scary story?" Starfire asked.
"It's a story that's scary . . ." Raven said.
" . . ."
Cy cleared his throat. "I'll begin."
Everyone looked at him.
"ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A BUNNY NAMED BRAD, AND THE BUNNY HAD A FRIEND WHO WAS A FROGGY NAMED JEFFY! JEFFY WAS MADE OF ORIGAMI! ONE DAY, BRAD BECAME A PYRO! AND HE /BURNED/ JEFFY! JEFFY DIED, AND BRAD LATER COMMITTED SUICIDE!" Cy shouted.
Starfire was in tears, letting out shriveled sobs in the corner.
Cy blinked. "Star, whats wrong?"
"TH-THAT'S SO . . . SAD!" the alien scream/sobbed.
And if he were to fall in the water, would he short-circuit?
Raven cleared her throat. "Here's a better one:
Once, there was a girl named Liz. She was 10, and lived alone in a huge, abandoned house. Liz went to school, and forged her dead aunt's signature. Liz's aunt, Maybelline, had been killed by Liz in a fit of rage. One day, her classmates followed her home, chanting 'Murderer, murderer'. Liz was mute, you see. She cried on her way home, and stomped up to her door, running into her bedroom. Her classmates followed, and locked her bedroom door. Liz died there, and haunted that house . . . forever," Raven smirked.
"That's so ebil," BB said.
"It's SUPPOSED TO BE!" Rae screamed.
BB jumped on her, grinding his pelvis into hers and making out with her.
Raven had a mood swing and threw the green changeling off. "You're so perverted!"
"Blame Mari! She did it! She even changed her name unofficially by adding an 'I' instead of a 'y', but the cops haven't come after her yet! Blame her, damn it!" Beast Boy rubbed the back of his head, standing up.
"How can I blame someone I don't even know?" Raven asked coolly.
"Because! . . . Mari knows allllll! She knows what you did last summer!"
"Oh really? Well, then, let's ask this great 'Mari' what I DID do last summer!" She sneered, folding her arms.
Beast Boy shrugged. "A'ight." He cleared his throat, throwing up his arms and shouting "NAGADAGATHYA!"
"What the fuck? What does that mean?" Raven stood behind him, while Cyborg, Robin, and Starfire all looked on at the two with pure confusion.
"I don't know! Something from Lord of the Rings . . . some quote that Legolas said that made Mari start laughing hysterically . . ." Beast Boy shrugged.
"For the thousandth time! This Mari isn't real! For all I know, she could be some girl you made up so that you can masturbate to her very image at night!"
"Me? Her? Naww . . . That's you, Rae!" He grinned sheepishly, clearing his throat. "And now to summon the almighty Mari . . ."
Throwing his arms up into the air, he screamed at the top of his lungs, "MUFFIN! ALMIGHTY MUFFIN QUEEN, MARI! ALMIGHTY MUFFIN QUEEN, MARI!"
And then, very Monty Python-like, these big clouds appeared over the Titans.
Cyborg pointed, whispering dreamily "Preeeeeeetty!"
Starfire and Robin clung to eachother like . . . uhm . . . I'm at a lack of metaphors or similies or whatever they're called . . .
Raven tugged on Beast Boy's arm. "Can we like . . . back away slowly?"
"Sure!" Beast Boy chirped, and circled his arm around Raven's waist, then pulled her with him as he backed away slowly.
The clouds were parted by a girl with hazel-blue eyes and weird wavy light brownish reddish hair. "HI!" she squealed.
Beast Boy waved frantically, and Raven stomped on his foot. "She looks seemingly familiar . . . is she one of those 'shippers that haunted us?" she asked.
Mari nodded. "I made it back to my dimension in RECORD TIME! And I was bored and all, you know? So I thought 'What the heck!' and decided to start writing out the rest of your sleepover and-"
"Wait a second!" Raven clutched her forehead. "Arghh! That's it! I can't think anymore! I've got a headache!"
But luckily for her, Beast Boy came to her rescue, staring dazedly at the readers of the fic. as if they were a video camera. He pulled out a small bottle, and said, "Here, take two of these."
Raven held out her palm, and Beast Boy unscrewed the top of the bottle, elegantly tipping it over so 2 little pills fell into her open hand . . . elegantly, of course. She looked down at them, smiling. "Ah yes," she said, "Nuprin. Little, yellow, different."
Robin scratched the top of his head. "Wayne's World never ceased to confuse me," he mused to Starfire, who patted his back sympathetically.
"Speaking of which!" Mari said, "I'm about to watch Wayne's World! And I'm the author of your story, so I can make you do whateverrrr Iiiii wannttttttttt! Okay! So quit trying to distract me from this." With a flash, she disappeared.
Raven and Beast Boy exchanged looks, and Robin and Starfire did as well, while Cyborg only could clutch Mr. Snugglekins tightly against his chest.
Don't think I had forgotten good ol' Mr. Snugglekins!
At that moment, the small stuffed orange cat sprang to life, his four red sewn eyes coming to life also and glowing demonically.
Cyborg didn't notice, for now, along with huggling his kitty-kitty-kitty-cat, he was singing the Barney™ song! "I love you, you love me, we're one happy family! With a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you! Won't you say you love me too?"
Raven's eye twitched. "Why does that cat look strangely like me whenever I spazz and get angry?" she asked suspiciously.
"Because!" Mr. Snugglekins suddenly said, in his very deep voice resembling Raze of Underworld's. "I was your daddy's pet kitty-kitty-kitty-cat! . . . Before he damned me to a life with this jack-ass retard."
Of course, Cyborg still didn't notice any of this was going on. "Row, Row, Row your boat! Gently down the stream! MARI MARI MARI MARI LIFE IS BUT A DREAMMMMM!"
"I think that song is about those earthly drugs that are illegal . . ." Starfire said, still cradling Robin in her lap.
Cyborg whistled to get everyone else's attention, as he set Mr. Snugglekins down on his sleeping bag. Mr. Snugglekins saw freedom before him. "AT LAST! FREEEEDOMMM!"
But it was only to be crushed, along with his spine, as Cyborg forgot his cat was right there . . . and he sat on him, giggling giddily. "Okay!"
Cyborg shouted, "Scary stories! Home made! Fresh from the un-living graaaaave, y'all!" He waved his arms, trying to frighten the others. "Hope y'all can hold down food, 'cause it'll be difficult to hold it all down once you're finished with MY story . . ."
"I'm absolutely petrified," Raven commented dryly, rubbing her temples, "But I strangely thought that we were done with those . . . I mean, I told mine and . . ."
"You will be . . . You WILL be . . ." the android rubbed his hands together, with a demonish grin spreading across his face. Along with the grin, red horns popped up out of his head like MAGIC! Ouuu . . . Harry Pothead! "BUT I NEVER GOT TO TELL MINE! SO THERE!"
But anyway, Raven rolled her eyes, stroking Beast Boy's forehead, since he was already beside himself with fear because I said so. "Don't pay any attention to him . . ." she whispered,
"BUTBUTBUTBUTBUTBUTBUT HE SPEAKS . . . SCARILY!" the green teen pointed at Cyborg, who was already smirking . . . because I said so.
"A'ight, a'ight. THIS story . . . it's about this dude . . . and this other dude . . ."
"Before this starts, may I ask if they're homosexual?" Robin asked nervously, still trembling from that confession that his "friend" had made about 2 hours before.
"No. They're not. Homophobe . . ." Cy rolled his eyes, turning towards Starfire, BB, and Rae. "Y'all wanna hear the story, right?"
Afraid of the half-robot's wrath, the four titans nodded their heads in false agreement rapidly, attempting to avoid his deadly wrath which I have just created because I rock so fear meee . . .
He cleared his throat a few times. "It was the best of times . . . and it was the worst of times . . ."
The 4 others yawned, making themselves comfy on their sleeping bags, holding their plates of food. Beast Boy took a bite of vegetarian pizza, nodding slowly, "Okay . . . dude, that sounds familiar . . ."
"That's because it's Shakespeare or Charles Dickens or Dustin Hoffman, sweetie," Raven replied sweetly, taking her spoon and dipping it into her herbal tea ice cream. YES, I MADE IT UP! . . . I think . . . XDD Maybe I should market it someday, but still . . . YOU CAME HERE FOR THE STORY! (-thinks dreamily- Herbal Tea Freeze . . . all the comfort of a hot cup of tea, in a . . . bowl of cold, uncomforting ice-cream!)
"Oh! . . . Dustin Hoffman and those other really old dead guys never cease to scare and or confuse me," Beast Boy told her honestly.
Robin shivered. "My turn to tell a story! Then Beast Boy's. Then . . . Starfire? Starfire! Where are you?" he realized that Starfire had disappeared.
"IN THE BATHROOM CHANGING MY PAAAD! BE OUT IN A MINUTEEE!" came Starfire's voice, and then she flew back out, plopping down next to Robin.
Robin cleared his throat, but Cyborg cut him off before he could say anything.
"I NEVER GOT TO FINISH MINE!" the android shouted, folding his arms, and then he continued.
"So this man was all 'Ohhhh nail me right there, Baby', and the other man was all 'Ohhh you betcha!' So they were rolling around on the floor and making-" Cyborg was now cut off by Raven.
"Please," she begged dryly, rubbing her temples. "Something more APPROPRIATE. Little children could be watching us somehow . . . somewhere . . . so yeah, okay?"
Cy stuck his tongue out, but Robin grabbed a roll of duck tape (MORGANNNNN! XDD) and wrapped it around Cyborg's mouth. "FEEL MY SQUIRRELLY WRATH!" Robin shouted. "All for you, Emmery!" he added, referring to one of my best friends, Emmy! Who loves Robin, and totally rocks at writing! -holds up a pepsi can- Drink to a new generation. Read 'Keeping Secrets' by Emmery today! -drinks, then frowns- IT'S FOOKIN' EMPTY!
Cyborg tried to speak, but all that came out were little muffled noises. Robin smirked, sitting back down next to Starfire, while the other 3 titans clapped and cheered for him.
"You saved the day . . . without wearing tights. Impressive."
"I love you, Robin! Please, go on with your story while I bask in your hotness!" Two people said this. One? Starfire. Two? Emmery, while she was reading this.
After rubbing his chin for some time, Robin said, "Okay. This one is very scary. Very haunted. Supposedly . . . if someone tells it, a curse is set upon your house, and you and your family and friends suddenly begin to get killed off. One, by one."
Raven grinned maliciously. "My kind of story," she commented.
Robin nodded, and Starfire blinked.
"How can a story 'kill' you?" she asked, thoroughly confused.
Robin sweat-dropped. "Just . . ."
Beast Boy threw up his arms. "Finally! A SCARY story!"
"You mean mine wasn't scary?" Raven asked, offended.
"To tell you the truth? NO!" Beast Boy grimaced.
Their leader began, clearing his throat, grabbing the flashlight, making sure all other lights were off, and said, "Long ago, there were 4 friends. Actually . . . there were 5, but one was all messed up and conceited, so that's why I'm leaving him out. The 4 others were very bored one night, so they decided to have a sleepover. Bad idea. It was on the evening of . . . Uhh . . . What's today's date?"
"The 14th of October," Starfire told Robin with a nod.
"Uhh . . . right, right," Robin said, re-clearing his throat and continuing. "Right. So anyway, it was a bad idea, because the spirits were out that night. And you know what?"
"What?" the others asked eagerly, except Cyborg, who fell asleep.
"It meant that meat ravioli was ½ off at the supermarket," Robin answered.
Everyone else who was awake sweat-dropped.
"I mean . . . it meant . . . It meant that in October, when the spirits come out at night, they feed upon love and caringness and stuff off of happy people with dark pasts . . . Like a dementor from Harry Pothead. But different . . ."
"Uhm, is it just me, or does this story sound almost exactly like we are in it?" Raven asked, arms folded.
"That's because I chose it BECAUSE it sounded exactly like us!" Robin retorted angrily. "NOW CAN I GET ON WITH THE DAMN STORY?"
"Fine, fine . . ." Raven rolled her eyes, as Robin continued.
"So anyway, these 4 friends, got weird signals. The lights went out. And the pizza turned all cold and icky. And then . . . they heard a scream. And one by one, the 4 friends were slaughtered. And the 5th one? To this day, no one knows where he is . . . " Robin concluded with a shaky voice.
"Awesome," Raven said with a nod, but regretted it, because just then, the flashlight went off.
Star gave a yelp at the sudden darkness, but Beast Boy laughed.
"Nice job, Robin. Trying to scare your girlfriend, huh? Do us a favor and turn the light back on," Beast Boy said.
Robin was silent for a moment, then said, "I didn't turn it off . . . Seriously! I just filled the batteries tonight, and now it won't turn on! Here, you try." He found Beast Boy's hand, and put the flashlight in it.
BB felt around along the flashlight, and then pressed the on button, causing the familiar click to be heard. Everyone leaned in closer, waiting for the light.
It didn't come.
"Hm . . ." he said. "That's strange."
"You're probably not pushing hard enough," Raven told him, putting her finger over his and pushing down harder onto the button.
"Ow!" BB yelped. "Raeeee," he whined. "Not so hard . . . my finger has feelings too, you know!"
Starfire leaned over, and with her extra alien strength, she put her thumb over Raven's, pushing down her very very hardest.
Now, both Raven AND Beast Boy cried out in pain.
Robin grabbed a milk glass, (that was empty), and pushed it down over Starfire's thumb as hard as he could.
Now all 3 of them cried out.
"It won't turn on!" Beast Boy shoved everyone else off of him with his feet, popping his thumb into his mouth. Raven rubbed her injured finger, and Starfire did as well.
"Maybe we just tripped a circuit . . . or whatever," Raven suggested, standing up. Beast Boy stood also, clinging to her side.
"Right," Robin said. "Raven, you and Beast Boy go downstairs to that circuit breaker thing, and see if you can turn everything back on."
"But it is just the light of flash which is not working!" Starfire pointed out. "Maybe our other electrical facilities will work?"
Robin stepped over to a blender and turned it on. "Nope."
"Robin, that 'blender' was not plugged in . . ." Starfire said.
"Oh!" Robin slammed the plug into the outlet, and there was a big spark that shot out of the outlet, as the boy wonder yelped and hid for cover.
"OH MI GAWD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Raven and Beast Boy screamed in unison.
"Shit!" Robin cried, stomping on the sparks. "Okay, you two, go check that circuit breaker! Starfire and I will stay here, and try to see if anything turns on."
Raven and Beast Boy nodded, descending down the steps to the basement.
"So where is that thingy?" Beast Boy asked, gripping to the railing as a support-system.
"Should be overrr . . ." Raven pointed. "There."
The two teens walked over, feeling around to unlatch the box.
They were about to flick on of the switches when they heard Starfire scream fatally from upstairs.
Dun dun DUNNNNN . . . CLIFF-HANGER!
Everyone shall just wait until next chapter.
Who dies? Who lives? Who confesses they are not a virgin! YOU WILL FIND OUTTT! And who is behind this? Cyborg? Mr. Snugglekins? Old Man Jenkins!