Hello people! Yes, you have read right. There is indeed a "Drama" in the Genre... this is my first sad story ever... and dont be too shocked please. For all those who know me and my stories... this is another story of mine, so.... ;)
Takes place, once again, in Volume 26, Shinichis rebirth.(Yeah, I know, just how many stories am I going to write about this 5 special files in Volume 26, right? MANY,hehe!)
Departure of the angel
"Conan- kun!" a very surprised voice said.
The panting boy walked closer to where Ran was sitting and placed a card on the table.
"Here, the credit card. Shinichi- niichan gave it to me! Uncle Kogoro asked me to look up on you and then I walked in on Shinichi- niichan."
"Dad is here?"
"Yes, hes waiting in the parking lot."
'So far so good, Kudo! You can do this!' he told himself, trying to bring up some courage.
"And where is Shinichi?" she asked.
His blood froze for a second and he started sweating. The little boy kept looking up at her, gulping silently.
"Eh.. well, he suddenly got a call on his cell phone and he said that the case he had been so long involved in before had a problem and so he ran off. Hes so stupid!" he giggled a little, but even to his own ears this pretend- to- be- cheery- voice he had put on like a mask sounded fake. And it hurt.
He could see her face becoming sadder with every second. It had changed from surprise and disbelief to sorrow.
"I see…" she said in a low voice, her eyes holding so much sadness Conan could hardly bear it.
"He has left me back again…" were her words as she looked at the table in front of her, forcing a thin smile to appear on her lips.
He sweat some more as he looked at her, thinking of how to save the situation.
"Y- yeah, but he also said-" he was cut of by her loud and broken voice.
"No!! Dont!!" she screamed and held her ears close with her hands, shaking her head. "I don't want to hear it. I dont want to hear, any excuses!" she said with angry and sad voice.
Conans open mouth closed slowly as he looked at her in shock. She had her hands pressed tightly to her ears and had her eyes closed, blocking the world outside and trying to close out all the pain as well. Tears were glistering in her beautiful, deep and gentle eyes. Eyes that he adored more than he ever could a diamond. Eyes that meant to him even more than one. Eyes he had never meant to hurt.
In this very moment, all the pain and grief he had felt because of his change back today had disappeared, as the sorrow of the girl in front of him filled his body, his soul and his senses. He could almost feel it physically and it hurt. It hurt so much he himself could hardly bear it. He wanted to crack, to scream, to break down, to cry, show he felt all this pain as well. Show her she was not alone and that he suffered as well. But he was not allowed to show it. He was only an elementary student, after all.
He felt like crying.
Conans brows drew themselves together as he looked at her. Slowly, in shame and hatred of himself for causing her pain, his head lowered and his eyes closed.
He knew he could do nothing to ease her pain. Absolutely nothing at all. He was… powerless. And Shinichi Kudo hated being powerless. He hated it so much! That had been one of his main problems he had to get used to after turning to Conan. That he was powerless in this body. And its true. The only weapon he had, let out his brain, were the gadgets of the Professor. Without them he would probably be already dead.
But not one of his gadgets or the great invention of the Professor could help him right now. He was all alone with his problem. Alone and powerless.
Conan felt the knot in his throat but tried to speak though, needing to do at least something to make her feel the slightest bit better. Whatever he could do in this form would do, no matter how strange it might sound to others. Grief opened himself up and made his heart speak.
"He will come back!" he started, looking at the ground with closed eyes, body tense, his fists balled in anger and despair. She turned her head a little away from him while clutching her eyes close tighter, but he knew she could hear him. So he went on.
"Even if it is going to be the last thing hell do, he will come back to you." Speaking courage to her and to himself, he lifted his head and looked straight at Ran, the knot appearing again but he ignored it. He knew he was telling her the absolute truth and the truth is worth everything.
Ran must have felt his words were important, for she slowly took her hands away from her ears and looked at the little boy in front of her with big, surprised and teary eyes. His gaze was steady and determined but also sad and longing.
"And until then, he wants you to wait for him!" he went on, telling her the words he would have liked to as an adult. His gaze suddenly changed to a pleading one. Never before had she seen such a pleading, seriously pleading gaze of him or of anybody else. He was really serious with his words, she could feel it deep in her heart.
"So… so that…" he went on but stopped, not knowing how to continue, what was going to happen next and what reaction his words would have on her. Did he really know her well enough to predict the right words that would help her get over his disappearance? He was, somehow, afraid to find out. But right now, despair was the only thing he felt beating strongly inside him.
"Such an idiot!" Ran ejaculated suddenly.
Conan looked at her with still mixed feelings but to his surprise, those words meant a great relief for him. She was running a hand over her eyes, cleaning them of any tears, and then she smiled down at him. "He just came and asked you to say such corny things!"
His mouth opened a little as he stared at her.
"This mystery jerk!! Whenever he hears the word 'case' he jumps up and leaves everything behind!"
'Mystery jerk? Its been a long time since you have called me that.' He thought as a sweatdrop ran down his face, making his irritation clear. He may had been irritated at that moment, but deep down he was happy to hear her call him that. It was something familiar and something he could deal with. Plus, it meant she still cared for him although he had been such an ass. She still cared what he did and that alone made him unbelievable happy. It had secretly been one of his greatest fears. That she would stop caring about him. And if she ever did…
"Whatever! Conan, would you like dessert??" she asked with a smile, leaning down and facing the surprised boy who could only reply with an uncertain : "Sure." Ran ordered the dessert with a smile, talking to the waitress.
Conan, or rather Shinichi, was observing her actions and attitude. A smile ever so slowly creeped on his face. Not a happy smile. But a smile that showed contentment for now. But only for now. Because she was.
He knew, saw, that she was suffering, although she pretended not to be affected deeply by his action. But he saw as well that he could help her at least relief a little of the sadness. Saw that his words were those that she had needed to hear. And as long as she smiled, he would too.
Fifteen minutes and five desserts later.
"I am supposed to wait for him?? PAH! Why should I? I am not his mother!!" Ran was still angry at Shinichi and was already talking about his 'stupid disappearance' for the last minutes. Conan only nodded a few times and watched her eat her frustration down. Then he looked at the table with all the empty dishes.
'Its already her fifth dessert!!'
"But what did he want to tell me that had been so important?" Ran wondered aloud, looking at the ceiling with her spoon on her lips. "Do you maybe know, Conan- kun?"
"No.." he said quickly, swallowing hard.
Ran closed her eyes and went on murmuring angrily about Shinichi, going on with her dessert.
"And why did he take me out to this expensive restaurant, anyway? It must not have been important for he was only stammering strange things the whole time."
'I just did not know how to tell you…' Conan thought sadly but looked with a smile at Ran that was supposed to show her he listened to her and was thinking the same way.
Inside he thought sadly about his plan that had not worked. 'This is a memorial place… My father has confessed his love to my mother here…'
Ran bend forward with a napkin in her hand and cleaned Conans face from his dessert that was sticking all around his mouth. He only looked at her with rosy cheeks, then looked down at the table while she, done with the task, leaned back and looked at him with a smile. 'I did not know it would take so much courage to do so…' he quietly praised his father for his immense courage.
"Conan- kun. Lets just finish our dessert and go, okay? Dad must be already waiting impatiently."
Both ate in silence. Conan observed the now quiet Ran while she ate. She was looking at the ceiling, and outside and also somewhat longingly at the entrance, obviously hoping for him to return. Her silence and her attitude betrayed her. He could read everything that lay hidden behind her way of looking around the room and outside, way of moving, way of throwing her hair back. Although a smile was on her face, he saw in her eyes the pain that was eating her from inside. A pain she tried desperately to hide from him. And she would have succeeded as well, this he was certain of, if he had been an ordinary elementary student and if he hadnt known her since he could think.
He could see how much she was wishing for him in his original form to be here right now. It must have really broken her heart and at this thought, his broke all over again. He was ashamed of himself and who he was, despite the fact that he could do nothing about his situation. He was certain that sometime during this evening he would have found the right words to let her know how much she meant to him. That she was his everything, his reason for living. That every second he had to spend without her felt to him like a little eternity in isolation.
If only he would have had a little more time. If only he could be the only one of them in pain, if only he could spare her this experience she now had to go through because of his stupid sake. If only he could jump off his chair, run to her and hug her tightly to himself, to his real body. If only he had the power to make her pain go away. If only she could forget about him so that he could never hurt her again. If only their bound wouldnt be so strong. If only…
"Conan- kun, are you ready?"
They stood up, Ran had already paid, and walked slowly out of the restaurant and over to the elevator, standing in front of it and waiting for the lift to arrive. Two men, that were talking with great excitement, walked past them.
"Did you already hear that the director was shot?"
"Yes!! And theyve already caught the murderer! I would never have thought that it could have been Mister Oba!!"
"Yeah, me neither! You said theyve caught him?? Already??"
"Yeah, they said the police had had help by a young man, a famous detective, helping them and he had the case solved in no time. Really amazing!!"
"Wow…" the other was amazed by this story. The two man went on chatting as they disappeared through the door, too far away for Ran and Conan to hear now.
Conans cheeks colored rosy the tiniest bit. He quickly looked up at Ran, who was looking at the other side, wanting to read her expression but her hair prevented him to do so. With a small plink noise the doors moved open and both walked inside without another word. After pushing the button for the parking lot, the door closed quietly and the elevator started moving downwards with a jerk.
Inside the elevator, Ran looked at the carpet, deeply sunk in her thoughts and a shade of sadness was laying inside her eyes and hidden behind her little smile. The expression on Conans face revealed, to everybody who bothered looking closely, his great concern and his own pain he was holding back for her sake. He moved an inch closer to her, slowly reached up and slipped his little hand inside of her own. Ran smiled down at him grateful but said nothing as she clapped her fingers around his small hand. He searched desperately for the right words to use but with little success. Thats why he remained silent.
In the parking lot they walked to the place Ai had described Conan were Kogoro was waiting. As he saw them he jumped out of his car.
"What the hell were you doing so long? I should better have taken a bed with me!! Gee, honestly!"
"Sorry, Dad." Were Rans only word but they made Kogoro shut up immediately, which surprised Conan to no end since Ran was not screaming at him.
"Ran, whats wrong?" the concerned father walked closer to his daughter.
"Nothing." She smiled at him but he looked on unbelieving in the way only fathers can.
"What did this jerk do to you?" he asked hotly in a protectively way and Conan looked at him with half closed eyes and small lips, biting his tongue to keep from answering his stupid question, like he had countless times before.
"Nothing, Daddy, really. I just dont feel so well."
"Okay, lets just go home and then well see."
"Actually… I would prefer walking."
"But Ran, its such a long way! You will need forty minutes!!" Kogoro told her, shocked.
"Ran- neechan, he is right! And its dangerous outside at this time!!"
She smiled at both concerned looking men, who were acting like she could not protect herself.
"Dont worry, I will be careful. I only need some fresh air."
Conan shut up and looked at her in worry.
'Because of me…' he thought in shame.
"Okay, but be careful. And take your cell phone with you so I can reach you. Just in case."
"Yup!" she smiled, turned and slowly walked out of their sight.
Conan and Kogoro looked after her. He could not describe it, but as he looked at Ran leaving further and further, he felt a pain shot through his heart, really hard. A pain that tore at him. It was a bad feeling. Like he was torn away from her. Like he would go crazy if he did not run after her right now. But he could not do so, although he wished desperately he could. Conan crowed this thought out of his head, thinking its simply guilt.
"Hey, brat. Lets go."
Conan looked at him and nodded. Both climbed in the car and drove off.
"So, is Ran really alright?" Kogoro asked after a few minutes.
Conan was looking out of the window at the passing lights that threw alternately light and shade on his face, before they disappeared to make space for complete darkness only to become brighter again a few seconds later. A never ending play of light and shade. Like the never ending play of good and evil.
He made only a small noise that was supposed to mean: "Yes." And Kogoro did not say any more. But after some time, he spoke up again.
"Did this Kudo guy try something he better should not have? Like.. you know.."
Conan shook his head, this time answering faster, his heart picking up speed a little, but he never took his eyes from the window. He most certainly did not try to be perverted with Ran. Never! It was shocking how Kogoro thought of him, although they knew each other since he had been very little. It was not like he did not understand that the father was concerned about his daughter, but he really had his own problems. Like sort out the million feelings inside his chest that seemed to be swelling and swelling so much he found himself near suffocating.
"Say, did something happen I should know?"
Conan turned his head to look at Kogoro in shock, thinking he might know more than he admitted. But he soon discovered this as false alarm, feeling relieved and disappointed at the same time because of this realization, and for a split second he thought about telling the old man everything. Conan thought about it before he laughed mentally at the mere thought and then answered him with quiet voice.
Kogoro looked back at the street and let it stand like that, not pushing further. Conan followed half a minute later his example, looking again out of his window, heart heavy.
Kogoro wondered what the little Conan had. Usually, he was not this quiet but loud, enerving and noisy. But right now, nothing. He may be sick? But then he saw his gaze and could have sworn he was looking at the face of an adult, young man with deep feelings and deep sorrow. It was definitely not the face of a seven year old without any worries on this planet.
Surprised, he shook his head and looked again down. This time he saw once again the face of an elementary student looking out of the window. But he was still sad, even he could tell.
'I may have been too mean to Conan. He seems to be really concerned about my daughter.'
Ran closed her eyes and let the cold night breeze sweep over her red cheeks, enjoying the cooling effect it had on her. Tokyo by night had something magical, enchanting, almost soothing. All the small noises of different sources, the lights, the people that were walking around this late… they all seemed to belong to a different world. And thats exactly what she needed. A change. Something else, different. A world in which she could forget about murder cases, detectives, childhood friends and the pain they cause.
She knew she was being a little unfair. But seriously, how can he do this to her? Cant he see.. doesnt he know how much he means to her? How much he hurts her this way? Probably not. But then he says such things to Conan…
She walked on and looked at the glimmering city by night without really seeing anything, too deeply sunk in her own thoughts. What a surprise it had been yesterday at the schoolplay, seeing him as the black knight when she could have bet everything she possessed that he was the little Conan. Was she paranoid?
And then, why did he not tell her he was the knight? Would he really have kissed her? One question was occupying her the most right now. The question of the why. Why in all heavens had he decided to play the knight without even knowing the script? Only to show off? Have a great appearance or maybe… maybe because of her? She did admit that she had been a little uneasy about kissing the Doctor during this play although she had felt something about him was different during the show. Plus, at this point she had thought Shinichi was watching, of course as Conan. She simply had not known how she had been supposed to feel.
How she had wished for Shinichi to have been there to play the knight. She had even dreamed of it. One night, not long before the play, she had dreamed she really had been the princess. And one day the black knight, who really had been the childhood friend of the princess and was looking exactly like Shinichi, would come and rescue her from some evil. And then he took her to his kingdom where they had many little children and lived together happily.
Her cheeks went rose at the thought. She knew she was being naïve herself and thats why she had not told anybody about this dream. They were not even together and the way things looked they would probably never be. Not that she did not want to… she thought it was funny and strange in the same time, how everybody, Sonoko, the little Ayumi and Mitshuhiko and even the guys in her class basically considered her the girlfriend of this idiot detective. She was always pushing every comment or suspicion that lead in this direction far away from her, trying to confirm everybody that they were wrong. But in the end, she could not deceit anybody, last her own heart.
Because her heart knew exactly she was hopelessly his, for now and for ever. She could do nothing about it. It was really the way Sonoko had once teasingly told her. She was like the good wife waiting patiently and faithfully for her husband to come home.
She did not know why but… Ran looked at the wave of lights from a store and suddenly saw his shining face while solving a case, this little spark inside his eyes that made her shudder with expectation. Then she saw the face he had made just before they had heard this scream of horror after somebody had discovered the corpse in the restaurant just a few hours ago.
She cursed the man who had killed the director. Not only because its a sin and its horrible to kill somebody, but because she felt like if it had not been for him, she would still be together with Shinichi now. Or at least she would have had a few more hours or minutes together with him. That maybe, only maybe, he would have found the right words to tell her what he had meant to this evening.
Ran walked on and was still wondering what these words could have sound like. What had it been that he had wanted to tell her? It must have been something important and something good for he had specially taken her out to such an expensive restaurant. He had even blushed, she had seen it, as it came to spill out the truth about their being there. But they had never come this far.
She wondered when she would see him again? When would he come back to her? It had taken him long enough this time and then he already disappeared after only one day. It was frustrating!! How long was she supposed to wait, anyway?
Who was she? And why her? Why was it that important for him that she, of all persons, would wait for him?? Like said, its not even like they were together, right? It all made absolutely no sense to her.
Ran sighed and saw a bench on the other side of the road. Looking left and right she crossed it and sat down after reaching it, happily discovering it was a little more quiet in this part of the city that seemed like dead. It was funny. Usually it was the other way around. Usually the city was boiling and Ran was the calm one. But right now everything was upside down.
Sitting, she looked at the heaven, and once again saw his blushing face.
What had the waitress said before? This other couple had decided to marry in this place? And even the same table? It was somehow a funny coincidence, she though. She could not really believe that Shinichi would have proposed to her. Why would he? Hell, she did not even know how he felt for her!! On the other hand he would not have invited her to dinner if he did not like her, would he? How could he possibly propose to her if they were not even together?
Ran had by now admitted to herself, that she loved Shinichi. He had always been THE guy in her life and he probably ever would be. To her, he was the white knight, or the black knight on the white horse, whichever, and she hoped with everything she got that one day, he would come and take her away on his horse, making her his, forever.
"Even if it going to be the last thing hell do, he will come back to you. And until then he wants you to wait for him."
'The last thing he will do…he will come back to me..' she repeated in her mind and got furious again. This guy had some nerve to ask for such a thing! Does he expect her to wait forever? Did she have nothing else to do?? Geez!!
Ran let out a deep breath and her gaze softened eventually. She knew that she would do it anyway. That she would forever wait for him to come back to her. She could do nothing else, even if she tried. She loved him too much. Maybe it was this love that made her survive these lonely days and months. Maybe it was this love that will bring him back to her some day.
The more it hurt her that he had just left like that. Could she ever be together with a man in whose life cases had such an important role? But then again… she knew she was important to him as well. She did not exactly now HOW important but there was definitely something that made them feel for each other stronger than what normal friends shared and there was no way he could be that blind to have missed that.
Not to mention the deep connection they shared. Whether he knew it or not, he always carried one piece of her where ever he went, telling him he is loved and not alone, protecting him from all evil. She was not sure if he was aware of that, but she knew it was true, for she was carrying something from him always in her heart that was giving her strength to go on. He was always in her heart. It was this bound that made him appear when she needed him most, or at least call to help, even though he would disappear again. And this bound that let her sleep peacefully, soothing her heart with the fact that he was alright. She knew it because she could feel it.
And some day she will tell him that and ask if he had already discovered it, just to satisfy her curiosity. Just to see if he knew. Some day.
Yes, she was sure he at least liked her.
A strong, chilly breeze passed by her. Ran looked at a willow nearby that was swaying with the winds play, looking like a dark ghost and hugged both her arms, rubbing them to keep herself warm. Her hair flew wildly around in all directions, hiding her face inside the veil of brown satin.
Painful tears were running down her sad face.
'But why isnt he here with me now? Why is he doing this to me?'
Ran quietly started sobbing inside her hands, crying out all her pain.
Conan felt uneasy. His stomach felt sick, like it would just… explode. At this very moment, a slight pain stung his heart and he wondered what had happened. If Ran was alright. Leaning a little out of the window he looked left and right but the street remained empty. He sighed in disappointment.
Hearing Kogoros loud snort from the top of his desk and hearing the noise of some empty beer cans drop to the ground, he sighed louder. This man was hopeless. Absolutely 'hope-less'. He turned his head and looked outside the window, just like he had done since their arrival, sitting on his legs on the couch he had pushed next to the window. He wished Ran would finally come home. He wanted to see if she was alright. Wanted to finally stop imaging the million things that could have happened to her by now, one more horrible than the other.
'I really have read too many books and have seen too many crime scenes.' He thought and sighed again.
He could not forget the face of Ran the moment he had told her Shinichi had run off and had left her alone, again. His blood still froze at the thought of it and his heart ached painfully. Life is not even close to fair to him. There he was, ready to tell her everything, his feelings especially and then another murder case interrupts him and what does he do?? Leave the girl he loves to catch a stupid murder and wasting his last minutes as Shinichi. He closed his eyes in pain and opened them again, looking down the road to not miss her coming home. But the street remained dead.
He cursed himself.
'How can fate possibly do this to me and how can I in turn do this to Ran? Shes totally depressed because of me and I am supposed to protect her from any harm with my life! And then here I am, causing her more pain and making her go through hell all over again… I am the greatest ass on the planet. It may not have been exactly my fault I was drugged but that I ran off this time back then to look what these man in black had in mind, is. I may be able to cope with this body, although that alone is already very hard. But Ran.. at least I can see her, as much as I want, thank god for I dont know what I would do without her. But she can not. Its all so unending unfair to us, to her more than to me. And its all my fault!'
But honestly… she was the reason he survived and he knew that. What would he had done without her? Why would he have wanted to go on living without her? She was his everything and she did not even know. It was so painful, being near the one person you love the most on earth but not being able to touch her the way you want. The way everything inside you is screaming to. Not being able to let her know its you, to talk to her the way you used to, to let her know you are alright and to tell her to stop worrying her gentle soul because of your stupid sake. He started sweating slightly, closing his eyes to keep himself upright, feeling for some reasons a little dizzy.
What did he ever do to deserve her? Why was she so stupid to wait for him? To always forgive him? He had seen it in her eyes, that she was mad at him but that the sadness inside them outweighed every other emotion. But she would wait for him, he knew it, he had seen it in her eyes as well. She would always wait for him. He closed his eyes in pain.
If only I could be with her. If only the pill would have lasted longer. If only I would not have to hurt her this much, every- damn- time, if only I had known before… If Ai had told me before than I… than I what? Had waited with solving the case? But had I dared telling her? Probably I would have dared but I am not sure if it had been the right thing to do, after knowing my state as an adult would not last long… could I have done that to Ran? How could Ai not tell me… she seemed so sure, she had certainly known it before. I really can not believe her sometimes! How could she!?
Conan turned and fell off his couch, landing on the ground with a loud "thud". He felt somewhat uneasy and dizzy and it had been to easy to fall from the couch. His heat shot up and he looked around bewildered but could not make out who had just called him.
"Hmm?" now he was really confused.
"Hey, Kudo, can you hear me?" cold shudders ran down his spine as he heard his real name and he was turning and looking around and finally his gaze fell upon the Detective Boys bandage they had got from the Professor. It was blinking. He walked towards it and took it in his hand.
"Kudo! About time!"
It was Haibara. Conan did not know whether this was something positive or not, whether he should be happy or scream at her.
"Yes. What is it?" he replied coldly.
"I have news."
He still did not seem too enthusiastic as he cleaned some sweat from his forehead with his sleeve.
"And what kind of news?" his tone was bored, rather annoyed.
"Its about the antidote for the Apoptoxin 4869."
"What about it? We already know it is not working properly…" his voice was very cold, even to his own ears. Unconscious he walked to the window and looked outside to search for any sign of Ran. But nothing.
"Well, I did not tell you yet, that I used the results of our little experiment for the antidote."
"You did not tell me a lot of things." He replied coldly. He could not help himself as these words escaped his lips without any emotion. But for some reason he did not seem to care, let alone regret them.
"I know.. I am sorry. But what I want to say is, that with these results and with you testing it I have discovered something unbelievable!" her voice sounded way too enthusiastic than what he was used from her.
"And that is?"
"That the drug you have inside your system will push its power up one last time."
"What are you talking about??"
"Its almost like with the flowers. Most of them, when they are shortly before dying, they push all their power upwards to their system and produce another, last bosom or a few more leaves or petals. Its a special technic from nature to survive. They have it in their genetic code. In your case it was almost the same because some of these genes were used to produce the drug. You took the drug, you went back to normal for twenty- four hours. You were near dying. And now, you will return to being yourself again permanently as soon as the whole dose of the drug with all its side effects has spread thoroughly in your own system."
He looked very confused in the darkness.
"Okay… could you just repeat that? Cause I am not sure I made the right conclusion and…"
"KUDO! YOU WILL TRANSFORM BACK TO NORMAL FOR GOOD!!!"
His mouth dropped open. There was a very long silence that followed.
"Are you sure???" he asked, this time as well exited his ragging breath and little pants remaining unnoticed by him.
"Of course I am. I am only telling you the results of my tests. And they are 100 percent positive and accurate in this case."
He went quiet again. Suddenly the night seemed a lot brighter to him.
"Depends on your system. If my recherches are correct, it would take you… wait let me look."
"Haibara! Just tell me wheeaarrgghhhhhhh!" he started screaming, grabbing his heart tightly.
"About now." She answered his impatient cry with a grin. She heard a noise and knew immediately it was his bandage falling to the ground and from the noises that followed, she was sure the little Conan followed short. She heard his muffed screams and his heavy steps as he tried desperately to get away from where ever it was he was right now. Probably his girlfriend of her father were nearby. She should have called him earlier but it was only a few minutes ago her recherched had come to an end.
Hearing only distant cries, she was sure he is going to be alright soon and Haibara placed the DB bandage back down, satisfied with herself and her work for once. If he would survive it, and he most certainly would, the test were definite,then she could go back to normal herself. But not today. Right now, sleep sounded like a very good idea. Actually, like the best.
Ran looked up, her face strained from the tears she had shed. A slight sting in her heart had made her look up. Shinichis presence was surrounding her suddenly. Was that a good or bad thing? Was it their connection wanting to warn her? To console her? Was he alright? Was he in pain? Or had it been only her imagination?
Her sobbing had stopped slowly and she cleaned her face, trying to calm herself down with deep, even breaths. She was feeling only slightly better. What was she to do?? She missed him so much. It had been so great, seeing him again. Now she regret she had ever let him go. Suddenly a poem she had read a while ago and that made her think of her situation, came into her mind.
If you love something,
Let it go.
If it comes back, its yours.
If not, it never has been.
To her ears they sounded a little cruel right now but they were reality. Never would she force Shinichi to stay with her only because of her sake. When he comes back, she wants it to be because he wants it and not because of her alone wanting it.
Her insides still hurt. It did hurt her heart that he had just left her, she had to admit. But she knew he could not have avoided it. A fact which did not really sooth any pain she felt. Or help ease the loneliness.
She looked at her cell phone for the time and realized she should better go home. Its already very late and her father and Conan would probably worry already, or die of hunger. She should not be this selfish.
Ran stood up and looked at the moon that had appeared behind a thick, black cloud. As she saw once again his smiling face in the surface of the moon, her heart called his name out loudly in direction of the moon, as clearly as her lips would have. Suddenly a sound made her look around in confusion and surprise. Ran looked down at her hand and saw that her cell phone was ringing.
'Probably dad, asking where I am…'
She opened it.
"Dad, I told you I am fine. I will be home in-"
Ran stopped short as her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open, her heart failing work for a second.
"Yeah. Whats up?
New tears found their way out of her eyes and down her cheeks. Anger rose next to relief. But for the moment anger won.
"You JERK!!! How DARE you leaving me like that? How DARE you just… call and act so cool, asking like some kind of stupid idiot: 'whats up'?" she sobbed quietly, clutching the phone in her other hand the same time, keeping up the connection between them, no matter how small. "Do you have ANY idea how I felt as Conan told me you ran off again?? Ooohh I swear, Kudo Shinichi, if you were in front of me right now, then Id.. Id… argh I dont know exactly what I would do, but HONESTLY!" her voice died off and her sobbing got clearer.
"Sorry, Ran. Can you ever forgive me?"
"I.." she had not at all counted with such a quick apology and that confused her. "Its okay…" she cleaned some of her tears with the back of her hand. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. And thats why I called. Are you alright, Ran?"
"I.. am fine…" she sobbed out quietly and hoped he would not notice her hearts pain. Luckily he did not respond this time.
"I am sorry I had to leave. You know, this really touch case…"
"Yeah I know.." her voice sounded somehow sarcastically, not really wanting to believe he was sorry. "I know how important your cases are to you and…"
"It was not ok to leave like that, though…." Both spoke at the same time and did not stop but went on talking together, both only hearing the others words.
".. and dont worry about me, I understand if you may need another year to come back." Ran said while Shinichi said something else:
".. and I was wondering whether you want to stop by for a second."
"Another year?" both teenagers questioned the other surprised.
Silence enclosed them.
"D-did you just say stop by?"
"Yeah.. this case was not too tough after all and I am already done for now. I am at home and thought.. maybe you want to… stop by and…dont know, I still had something to tell you and…" she could not see his blush but she felt it, though she could not imagine the real extension of it on his face at this moment. Her heart was by now beating so fast it really hurt her and she was glowing inside.
"Y-you mean, I can go to you now and you w-will be there??" her shaky voice replied, the few tears that were still running totally ignored.
"Yeah…" he answered shyly.
"I…" she hesitated, not sure if she could dare believe this was true. Then she smiled and choked a little on her next words. "Promise to be home and I will be there in ten minutes."
'Shinichi is back?? My Shinichi is really back? Oh heart, stop throbbing so fast!'
"O-okay. I am—Im coming, Shinichi!" she warned him a last time, waiting for his reply, his last word.
"I am waiting." This time he was the one who was waiting for her.
"Okay. Bye!" she breathed.
She hung up and looked down at her cell phone. She could not believe it. Never would she have thought that… She could really not believe it. Ran looked around and suddenly started running in direction of his house. Towards him.
He came back to me. He really came back to me and he did not leave me alone so long. I can not believe it. I really cant!! Does this mean…
If you love something
Let it go.
If it comes back, its yours.
If not, it never has been.
Does this mean, he is mine now?? Oh, I hope so. I can not wait to see him.
She was running faster, as fast as she could, thinking, feeling she had to hurry before he changed his mind and walked away from her another time.
Tears blurred her vision but she still kept running, wanting to see him and wanting to see him as soon as she could manage.
"Oh Shinichi!" she whispered as she ran through the dark night, feeling today was not such a bad day after all, if she could see him again. If only she could see him again.
Shinichi walked up and down his house, looking out the window to see if she was coming and in the progress looking at his reflection. He could not believe the drug does last permanently after all! How could that be possible? What miracle was this?
He decided he did not care. It may be a gift from the heavens for making them go through all this but it doesnt matter anymore. He felt like everything was alright as soon as he had her in his arms. And this time he will not let his chance go by like this. He will seize it and he will confess everything to her. And never let go of her again. Never.
He felt amazing, nervous and sad and wonderfilled all in one. He could not wait to see her beautiful face. Could not wait until he had the chance to hold her close and tell her everything was alright, that the waiting is over and that he will finally stay with her for longer than one day. He would apologize the whole night for all the pain he had caused her and promise that he will never let her go again. That he will stay with her for now and always, forever, if only she wants him.
Yeah, this is what is going to happen and he could not wait. Could not at all wait until the moment was there he held his beloved in his arms again. His fingers ached to touch and hold her. He could worry about everything later. About the Black Organization, about thanking Haibara maybe, about telling everybody or caring about everything else. That could all wait. Now all that matters, was the girl who had waited so long for him. The girl he planned to never let go again.
He looked out of the window, scanning the darkness for the beauty he was waiting for, feeling like he had been waiting for all his life for only this one moment he was allowed to lay his eyes on her.
The cold wind that hit her face was hurting by now, but Ran did not care. She needed to reach him as soon as it was possible for her, so she ran without break. Ran for her life. Ran to find him. To finally see him. And as light engulfed her, she could have sworn she saw his face in it, for the last thought she had and the last thing she muttered before the light reached her, was his name.
The anticipation all the children in the world, waiting for Christmas Eve to arrive for they could open their presents, were feeling, was nothing compared to the anticipation he was feeling right now.
And he looked outside once again, seeing nothing.
Suddenly, while he was pacing through the house impatiently, he tripped over his own foot and fell down.
Confused, he looked up and slowly pulled himself to his feet once again. Was this a bad omen? This had not been his cry. He could have sworn he had heard somebody call his name.
He tore his eyes open as wide as they could as he had suddenly a bad feeling. A very bad one and he ran outside his house the fast he could with his slippers still on, walked past his door and gate and over the road to the corner of the block where he stopped cold. Obviously there had been an accident with a car and a passant. Shinichi looked shocked at it, already having a bad feeling about this all as he heard somebody near him talking with the police.
"Yes, right. Beika street, yes please hurry. The driver is alright but the passant, a girl with long, brown hair who was running towards Beika center all alone.. yes, she was hit and needs to go to the hospital as soon as possible.. apparently student... yes, please hurry!" and he hung up.
Shinichi looked at him in shock.
"Brown hair?" he replied and he felt like he had just drak a bucket full with ice water. 'Running, alone'
He ran faster than he ever had to the car, pushed the crowd away as roughly as necessary and looked down at the victim that was hit. A girl lay moaning on the ground, two people were trying to help her and calm her down.
Shinichis heart failed working. He felt sick and his insides clutched tightly around. The air he breathed was magically taken away from him and he felt like he would choke any moment. Everything that followed felt to him like slow motion. Like as if you have pushed the mute key while watching an old thriller.
Shinichi screamed as loud as never before.
"RAN! NOOO!!!" and was already by her side, kneeling down beside her, touching her blood covered face gently with shaking fingers.
She looked horrible. There was blood everywhere and she had her eyes closed, murmuring something he could not understand. There was a wound on her head that did not seem to stop bleeding and she was laying there kind of strange, holding her ribs tightly. Her panting was not regular and she was coughing often, sometimes even a little bit blood. Shinichi immediately pulled her into his embrace, and while pulling off his jacket tried to talk to an older lady that was crying next to her.
"What happened?" he asked roughly to get through to her. The woman cried stronger.
"I was driving here along the road and suddenly she came running into the street. It was too late for me to avoid the crash but I stopped the car and hit her, though. We immediately called the police and an ambulance and she is laying here, murmuring the whole time in pain. Murmuring a name, I guess… 'Shinichi' she says over and over again. I am so sorry! I did not want to hit her." She sobbed into her sweater loudly. But Shinichi was paying no more attention to her. He was already looking down at his girl.
With tear filled eyes he tried to calm himself as he cleaned her wound on the head with his jacket, trying to stop the bleeding. Everything was his fault. She was running because of him and only because of him and thats why she was hit. It was all his fault! He cursed himself and hoped for a seat in hell, prayed that she will be alright, not being able to imagine the consequences if… He swear to god, he would go to hell with a smile if he only saved his love from this fate. From the brink of death. She started shaking and he held her tighter while over and over screaming her name.
"RAN! RAN!!! PLEASE, RAN!!! OPEN YOUR EYES!! RAAN, PLEASEE!! Im begging you! RAN!"
She stirred a little more and eventually stopped shaking, falling motionless into his arms. He lay a hand on her cheek, a few tears fell down on her, and forced her face to look at him. Soon she opened her eyes and looked at him through half closed lids.
"Shinichi!" she murmured relieved with a small smile and placed a weak hand on his cheek which he held with one of his. Her hand was so cold. Everybody around them was looking with big eyes at him as she said his name, now giving a face to the unknown name.
"Ran!! What did you do?"
"I wanted… to be with you." She said while coughing. He shook his head and placed a finger on her lips.
"No, dont talk. You need you strength. You will see, the ambulance will be here in a second and soon you will be completely alright again." He told her while more tears dropped on her face as he tried to smile at her, in order to give her some confidence. She smiled weakly at him.
"I am so cold, Shinichi. Its so cold here. Please, make me warm." She whispered with now closed eyes.
He held her even tighter to his chest and held her as warm as he could, rocking her slowly and lovingly in a soothing way. "So tired!" she whispered.
"Shhh, its gonna be alright. You will see! Spare your strength. Ill all be alright." He whispered, his voice trying to remain calm but horror was clearly swinging in it.
"At least…" she said with low breath looking directly into his face with tired shining eyes. "At least, I can see you." She smiled at him and her eyes closed again.
Shinichi felt her movements go limp and he looked down at her in absolute horror.
"Ran?? RAN??? RRAANNN??? NO! NOOO!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! RAN! RAN!!! PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!! DONT FALL ASLEEP! RAAN!! STAY WITH ME! RAN!!"
He bend down and kissed her lips to keep her with him. Kissed her lightly and pulled away again, looking at her dead- like face in concern and horror.
Everybody around them was looking at the young couple in sorrow and there was not one who did not have tears in the eyes as they watched the desperate Shinichi cry out.
"RAN!! PLEASE, YOU MUST KEEP ON LOOKING AT ME!! RAN!! PLEASE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!! YOU CAN NOT LEAVE ME LIKE THAT!!! NO! RAN!"
One woman who was standing there, looking at them started sobbing strongly, and turned to bury her face in the chest of her husband who was standing next to her. He only closed his arms around her, himself totally overwhelmed with this passionate scene in front of him. He started leading his wife away with sorrow filled gaze and heavy heart.
"PLEASE!! RAAN!!!! DONT LEAVE ME, RAN, NO!!! RAAAN!!! I LOVE YOU!! DID YOU HEAR ME?? I LOVE YOU, RAN!! DONT LEAVE ME, PLEASEEEE!!"
The people that had gathered were sobbing in the earnest now, deeply horrified and touched by the incident and by what was happening, while Shinichi clung on to Ran hard, the tears ran down his face absolute uncontrollably.
He shook her body, trying to make her look at him again but she remained silent. Only as he had said he loved her, he could have sworn a slight smile had appeared on her lips, but her eyes remained closed and never opened again as her head slowly fell backwards on his hand without any hold, and she breathed out one last time with the content expression on her face of a girl, finally allowed to be in the arms of her beloved.
The tear- soaked Shinichi looked down at her with huge eyes, not believing this was really happening, feeling his insides shedder, twist and tear.
"Ran? RAN?? RRRAAAAANNN???" she did not move but lay lifeless in his arms. He shook his head bewildered and screamed out all his sorrow from the top of his lungs.
"NOOO!!! RRRAAANN!! NNOOOOOO!!!!!"
He shook her and talked to her loudly for her to understand him, hear him even in afterlife but she did not respond anymore. Shinichi stared in shock at her pale face. He did not hear the passer bys sobs and cries. He did not hear anything anymore, not even the loud pounding of his heart that was beating so loud against his ears he must have gone deaf from only that. Staring at his dead beloved, he was still shaking his head in sorrow and ignorance. He did not want to believe everything was over. Never. He shook Ran more and stroked her hair out of her face, rubbing her cold cheeks feverishly to give them again the rosy colored he had always adored more than anything, more than the beautiful rising display of the sun.
"RRAAAN! LISTEN TO ME!! RAN!! I AM TALKING TO YOUUU!!!! RRRAAHHAAAAAAANNNN!"
He was crying strongly and screaming loudly, sobbing through his screams, soaking her in tears that made her not alive like in the fairy tales. He pressed her corpse to his body closely. Holding her head to his chest while screaming at the heavens with a hoal.
"NOOOO!!!! RAAAAAAANNNNN!!! DONT TAKE HER FROM ME!!!!!! DONT!!!!"
he was obviously talking to the heaven, trying to make them give the angel back to him and not take her. He looked down at her again with his soaked face, sobbing through his screams.
"NO!!! NOT RAAN!! RAN RAN RAN!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! NO RAN!!!RAN RAN!!RAAAAAHAAAAANN!! PLEASE!!" he told Ran these words over and over again, praying she may take pity in him and open her eyes, tell him everything will be okay. He tried desperately again and again but she did not react. Why hadnt he told her his feelings? Why hadnt he told her before, how much he loved her? WHY? Now, everything was too late and that alone hurt so much. He cried, the people around them crying with him, feeling his sorrow that seemed to electrize the air surrounding him and his lover he was still clinging on to.
"GOD, DONT TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME!! SHES MY EVERYTHING!! HEAVENS, PLEASE!! DONT DO THIS TO ME!! NOOOO!! I LOVE YOU, RAN!! I love you so much!! You cant do that, god, please, dont!!" he whispered in the end, his voice cracking on his strong sobbing.
Shinichi pressed his head in her hair as he clutched her to him, screaming, sobbing, crying out the immense pain that made him feel like dead. Made him WANT to be dead. The pain that burnt inside him, that took away his breath, that made him go absolutely insane out of grief and horror and desperation all thrown together in a fatal cocktail. He threw his head back and let out a loud scream, a hoarse cry to the heavens, his eyes seeing only never ending, black darkness.
Everything faded but all that remained was the overwhelming pain he felt and that was eating him completely from the insides.
He felt somebody shake him but did not care, instead held on closer on what he could grab. He kept screaming from the top of his lungs but the shaking got harder and harder until he opened his eyes again a little and looked at the face of a concerned Ran from above. Not believing what he was seeing, believing he was seeing things, he gave his pain voice again.
"Conan- kun!!! CONAN- KUN!! Wake up! WAKE UP!!!!! CONAN- KUN!"
"NOOOO!!! NOT RAN!! RAN RAN NOOOO!!!!" he kept screaming in bone melting fear and blank horror, believing his beloved gone forever as more tears streamed down his face without ending.
Ran drew the blanket she had covered him up with away and helped him sit up, shaking him to make him wake up, saying his name loudly over and over again. As he slowly opened his eyes while still screaming, they suddenly opened the whole way. He stared at her for a second in which he realized everything, then made a loud, high noise and fell forward, cling on to her for dear life. He fell into her arms and held her as close as he never thought was possible, his body almost melting into hers. The little boy clung on to the young woman and cried as hard as he never had before, the horror of his dream was still sitting deep inside his bones, making him shiver with fear.
"OH my GOD!! Ran! RAN!!" Conan chanted loudly and desperately against her, calling out for her and speaking her name out over and over again to verify himself of her actual existence as he held only tighter to her, making his fingers start aching but he ignored it, not being able to feel it for the other pain inside his chest was way greater.
Ran, who had returned from her walk only half an hour ago and had discovered him asleep on the couch next to the window, only hugged the little boy that was clutching her hard with his little arms and who soaked her shirt while screaming her name the whole time. She had tried to talk to him and calm him down but his tears never stopped coming and his loud or little cries for her never subsided. His voice was still soaked with sorrow and despair and he cried and cried and cried and did not seem to be able to stop. She had never seen him cry. The more concerned she was now about him. She wondered what he had been dreaming about that could possibly scare him this much. She didnt know if she could handle a crying Conan for this was something very new to her and she slightly started panicking. Although she was mentally down herself because of the thing with Shinichi and scared because of Conans behaviour, she decided to not let him feel anything of it, knowing he needed her now to be strong for him and for herself. He always had been the strong one. Now that he needed her, she would not let her little sunshine down and be strong for both of them.
Ran could do nothing else but rock the little boy back and forth until his cries and tears would calm down. They did after a long while of him crying against her and he fell asleep against her chest, tears still in his eyes and on his face, having exhausted himself. Every try of her to pull away did not succeed for his arms gripped her tighter even in his sleep, never letting go of her, too afraid to do so. Ran sat down on the couch and cradled the little boy against her warmly, with the comfortable blanket around them and continued stroking his hair in a shoothing way like she had done the last minutes. It was just what a caring mother would have done in her place and for a second that was how she felt.
She did not know what had happened to him and had not known what was happening when she heard somebody scream her name while she had been in the kitchen before. Finding the little Conan trashing strongly in his sleep, she had decided to wake him up. And now here she was, being trapped underneath him and concerned about his condition.
She did not ask what had happened, nor did she ask why he had been calling out for her in the adult form, without the neechan. Nor will she ever ask. She felt that there are some things you better dont speak out. Like the fact that he had screamed over and over again how much he loved her and that he did not want to lose her. It had sounded exactly like what she would expect from a desperate Shinichi and not like a child, telling his mother he loved her in an innocent way. His voice had held so many emotions just like his whole appearance had and his whole behavior.
Did Conan know what he had said in his sleep? He was probably dreaming but she wondered for the million time what he could possibly have dreamed about her that had made him sound like this, in pain and so desperate. Probably he had dreams he was left alone by everybody and thats why he was screaming for her. Poor love, he is now too long alone without his parents. But there must be more hidden behind this. His little soul must have really hurt for Conan to cry himself to exhaustion.
There would be time to worry about her own problems and to wallow in her own sorrow about the disappearance of Shinichi, later. Right now, all that mattered was Conan and his problems she needed to help him with if he wanted her to.
Feeling in peace for now, only for now, she wished Shinichi a goodnight, wherever he may be. As much as she cursed him for leaving and as much as she missed him, she would wait for him. Forever. And like said, right now, all that mattered was her little sunshine. Right now, she had to first take care of little Conan and his own wounds.
I know I know, I lied..so no sad storybut how could I possibly make a sad story for poor Conan and poor Ran?? I just couldnt, I am so sorry... Liked it? Please tell me!!! Am dying to know, honestly!!