disclaimer I don't own Bleach

pairing MatsumotoGin…ish. (Why is everything I do 'ish'?)

timeline There is no timeline…because I don't know…spoilers for who they are and Soul Society

notes I'm trying another pairing. Turned out strange…again. Oh well. (Why oh why can't I hate Gin?)


There was something about rain and tears. Something so simple about it that it made her remember her past, something she hadn't wanted to do for awhile.

The rain pours down and she remembers dirt and smiles and feeling full, and happiness, and she remembers him. She looks away from the gazes of her peers, the ones who whisper, the ones who admire, and the ones that are from him. (He is not a peer, but he is always looking at her, and that amounts to the same old thing, doesn't it?)

The rain makes her remember a time before there was loyalty, before there was right and wrong, when everything was just a shade of grey, but that was okay because she was grey too, and at least she had belonged.

It hurts, doesn't it? He had once asked her, passing by in the halls, and looking at her again. She had ducked her head and averted her gaze, and tried not to remember. Not being free?

She had thought to herself that he really wasn't as innocent and unassuming as the others had thought, and remember his eyes on her, she had felt that he might be capable of murder. (Never a nice thought to think.)

There is a hidden meaning in his words, and she thinks that she should tell her captain about it, because in her mind she knows that when push comes to shove, she wants to be on a side she can fight for. (But her heart isn't so sure, and she keeps silent. He is someone she can fight for as well.)

Matsumoto both loves and hates the rain. (The tears she will keep to herself.)

He's right. It does hurt.

She both loves and hates him, and it is not an easy feeling to keep in her heart, the two of them mingled together.

But it hurt more being free.


Even now, she is not sure she made the right decision.