Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. All characters involved are the property of Paramount and the Great Bird (may he rest in galactic peace).
Star Trek: Glimpses
Spock and Valeris
Contact. An order? No. A request. A plea, because Jim Kirk knew the pain. He would never order it. He did not even have the nerve to say it, so personal was the request. Touch the mind of another -one so close- to get information. Vital information. Information that could save the Federation from being plunged into a war with the Klingons.
Valeris stood before him, defiance shining almost imperceptibly behind her eyes. He raised a hand slowly, seeking the contact points for the mind meld. She resisted him, pulling away.
Anger! Embarrassment! His own disciple was humiliating him. His other hand grasped the back of her head violently, drawing her forward. She sensed his anger, and ceased resisting. His fingers once again reached, this time finding their mark.
In an instant they were linked. My mind to your mind. Mere words, ceremonial and unnecessary, especially for two minds so alike. Yet they rang like bells down the corridors of their joined minds. The bridge of the Enterprise was gone. Jim was gone. There was nothing but the expanse of joined katra.
Give me your thoughts, my pupil, Spock's powerful inner voice said.
You will have to take them from me, my teacher. Not as defiant now. She was simply stating a fact. She was bound to her comrades and their fate, and she would act as honorably as she could for them now.
Spock reached out with the tendrils of his consciousness, probing the edges of hers. He felt her shrink back, burying things far into the deep recesses of her mind. Strangely, that which she buried was not what he sought.
Names. That was what Jim wanted. It was what he was saying to Spock, though his voice seemed distant and unimportant. Spock could see them, jumbled together in the stream of consciousness that consisted of her life over the past few months. It was not difficult to separate them, but something at the back of her mind caught his attention as he began. It was just a glimmer of an emotion, one that Valeris had doubtless suppressed for her own sake. Spock continued, freeing the first name.
"Admiral Cartwright," he and Valeris said in tandem. Admiral Cartwright? Spock thought.
How deep does it run, my pupil?
I do not remember.
Kirk was asking for more names. Spock knew they were there. He ignored the indolence of his pupil, and returned to the process of separating her thoughts. But then he caught it again, that faint…taste…at the back of her mind. Something was there. Spock found the next name, and wasted no time producing it.
Spock knew he had little time before Jim would come at him again. He left her tattered thoughts in a heap and began to probe deeper, searching for that something. It was there, but it was eluding him. He could sense it around the corner of every mental defense she tried to put up, but it was gone each time he burst through.
"Who else?" came the distant echo. He had it! Latching on, he dragged it back to the forefront of her mind, picking up the final name as he came close to resurfacing.
"Romulan Ambassador Nanclus."
If Spock's mind could have raised an eyebrow, it would have. Romulans involved in affairs between the Klingons and the Federation? Where might this be heading? It was no use, he knew. She would not answer him. He began to examine this thing -this thought- that he had captured.
It was most definitely an emotion; her mind began to shriek immediately as he touched it. Suddenly, he became one with her thoughts.
He was sitting in the desert, the hot wind whipping his hair about violently as Vulcan's twin suns shone down on him. She sat across from him, her shadow and his intersecting in the sand. They were meditating together. But their hands were folded in the Vulcan symbol of union, his first two fingers over hers. And he remembered…
Pon farr. They had joined, Valeris and he. They were one now, the pupil and the master. He looked into her eyes, seeking logic. Seeking the beginning of the wisdom that he had spent so many years attaining.
But all he saw was a brightness, as if her eyes reflected the suns' light. Her mouth curved into a smile. A smile?! That was not logical. In fact…
Across the desert wind he heard a sound like a voice. He knew the voice, and it irritated him. Leave us alone, he thought. But it was to no avail. Jim was demanding something again. Spock looked at Valeris.
Why do you smile?
Because we are together at last. Because I can show you now the truth that I have discovered. Because I love you.
His mind reeled. Love? Impossible!
Where is the conference? Yes, that was what Jim would want to know.
I don't know. They never told me that. And yes, I love you Spock. Love. It is amazing, yes? For a Vulcan. I never thought it would be possible either, until I…
He grabbed her by the shoulders, feeling the roughness of her desert robe as he shook her violently.
How could you do this to me? How could you do this to the Federation? She began sobbing. Around them, the dust began to pick up in the wind, whirling and creating small cyclones around them.
I tried to tell you! I tried to explain. I only wanted things to remain as they have been. I wanted to return with you, to be joined with you.
Spock felt his control ebbing away. Tears formed in his eyes, yet he shook Valeris all the harder.
Where is the conference?! He was shouting now, partly to be heard over the violent dust storm that was erupting all around them, and partly to drive away the desire he felt to take Valeris in his arms. To hold her face to his chest and protect her from the storm. To protect her from every storm. Over the howling of the wind, he could hear faint echoes of Jim's voice, asking again about the accursed conference. His resolve strengthened.
Where is it?
Spock, I love you!
Spock slapped her across the face. Hard. She cried out in pain; his strength was enormous. Tears spilled from her eyes as she backed away from him, slowly disappearing into the dust that was flying all around her…
Spock disengaged his hands -both of them- from her face. He felt his own tears welling up, and a lump forming in his throat. He was silent for a moment, waiting for the control of his emotions to return. He stared into her eyes, seeing what could have been disappearing behind what would be.
"She does not know," he said.