Bearit's Notes: Wow, it's been a while since I wrote a fanfic, hasn't it? Well, here's one that came spur-of-the-moment. I've been kind of rusty in fanfiction, especially of the MKR type, but here goes. Enjoy?
Up until my second year of high school I believed that we would someday return.
How foolish of me, now that I think back on it, and yet, I can't hate myself for believing in such a thing. Every young girl has to live on some sort of dream, whether it is marrying the richest, most handsome and yet kindest man on the face of the planet, or becoming a beautiful super model loved by all of Japan. Such a man does not exist—rich guys tended to be such jerks, handsome men likewise, and kind men, I discovered quickly, always turned out to be gay. To find a handsome, kind man would be near impossible, and especially in those circumstances, the man was gay and taken. It was not an either/or situation. Straight handsome and kind men did not exist. Rich, handsome, and kind men, straight or gay or bi, did not exist, either. As for the super model thing, come on now, get real.
But do girls hate themselves for such dreams? No. If they discover too young that their dreams are baseless, they become disillusioned and cynical. If they discover too old, I doubt they'd care anymore. There comes an age where you just accept it, and when I turned sixteen is when I accepted that I would never be able to return to Cephiro.
I stopped visiting Hikaru and Fuu at Tokyo Tower shortly after that. They couldn't believe me when I told them that in my heart, I knew we wouldn't be able to return. I still saw them every so often, but aside from Cephiro, we really didn't have too much in common. There were a ton of other things we tried to do but couldn't because at least one of us were either horrible or uninterested. The closest we got was an amusement park. Museums bored me, slightly interested Hikaru, and of course, excited Fuu. Shopping always was and always will be an adventure for me, but both Hikaru and Fuu were bored out of their minds. Hikaru's brother, Kakeru, treated us to a baseball game, but I was confused, Fuu was bored, and only Hikaru and her brother enjoyed it. So, I went off on my own way, content with my hobbies and the friends I shared them with, while Hikaru and Fuu I only met every once in a while to catch up on lost times.
Yes, I did fall in love in Cephiro, but I doubt that it was "true love." I think it was more of a schoolgirl crush. I never told him how I felt—I almost did, but then I stopped myself, because this was my first love, and I didn't know what to do—so I don't know how he feels about me if he felt anything for me at all. Maybe he just saw me as a good little kid. He is about a billion years older than me, ha. Looking back on it now, yes, it was a silly schoolgirl crush. I hold no feelings for him now. Either I wasn't there long enough to cement those feelings, or it was just a fleeting thing. Maybe I was simply too young. After all, what does a fourteen year old know about love?
Once I realized that I didn't have a crush on Clef anymore, I went out with the first boy who asked me out. He was cute but turned out to be a huge jerk. I dumped him in the middle of our date. The second boy was cute and nice but after dating him for a couple of weeks I realized that this boy was not straight. True enough, he wasn't, but he didn't want to be and said to me, "I thought going out with a beautiful girl like you… maybe… I could not be gay anymore, and my parents won't ever find out and hate me."
Unfortunately, I knew that it couldn't work out that way. We're still really good friends, though.
As luck would have it, the man I ended up married to a couple of years after high school graduation wasn't exactly the dreamboat hunk all girls dream of obtaining at some point in their lives. But he was sweet and kind and funny and… well, my ideal. Prince Charming, if you please. He's not hideous; he's just a mediocre looking kind of guy. Here's the trick, though; he's from America. He's half Japanese, true enough, but his first language was not Japanese but English, and he was in Japan and attended my college because of a study abroad program. He remains horrible at Japanese, but since English was always my best subject, I knew what I had to do in order to make us both happy.
I moved to America once we were married.
Hikaru and Fuu were shocked. I haven't seen them since. Last I heard, they were not married. They had never dated anyone since they always refused boys who asked them (well, okay, fine, Hikaru's brothers refused all the boys, but Hikaru never complained about it). I know they still love their Prince Charmings from the other world, the other world they will never return to. I didn't want to push them, though, so I'm letting them go on their own ways in regards to that. After all, who am I to crush their childhood dreams, even if their childhood has been long over?
No. They are still children at heart. They may be more mature, they may live successful lives in their careers, but their childhood has never ended.
Mine ended when I was sixteen years old.
Ten years ago.
Well, I have two children now, and I pass my childhood onto them with tales of Cephiro. I never tell them I had a crush on Clef, however; let them believe that their first love will be their eternal love. That's the least I can give them. If I did otherwise it would be just like telling them that Santa Claus doesn't exist. But I make absolute sure that I teach them that the line between good and evil is very thin and may not even exist at all.
My husband told me to write a story about it. I'm considering it. Maybe not picture books, but maybe a small little novel for children, a series, maybe, like Babysitter's Club or something. It sounds like a good way to pass the time, and perhaps relive the past. This time, I won't fear putting in my crush on Clef. We'll see how the fans take it. Maybe they'll be dreamers and end up having us live "happily ever after" in fanfiction that I've come across sometimes on the Internet. Maybe they'll be realistic.
It doesn't matter to me either way.
I'm happy with my family now. I wouldn't take it back for the world. Even if I do end up in Cephiro again, I'd be there for a visit. Hikaru and Fuu may live there for the rest of their lives, but unless I take my husband and my children with me, Earth will forevermore be my home.
That's my life.
And I'll never regret it.