SNOW IN JULY
Eyes of the Loving Soul
(A companion piece to the previous chapters)
They always see me as the cheerful, overgrown child whose best friend is a pink stuff bunny. They say it's hard for people to not love me. But they don't know the fact that I have never been blessed with love: romantic love. I thought I would never know what loving someone feels like but when I first met Shindou Shuichi, I was bedazzled by his vitality. A feeling unknown to me before started to linger in my heart. It took me a while before realising that I have fallen in love with him. Let me tell you the truth, I never once thought of stealing him from Yuki-san. I respect their feelings for one another. Honestly, I have never seen a love as strong as theirs. Shuichi never stopped pursuing Yuki-san even though the latter pushed him away countless of time. I should be angry with Yuki-san but I didn't. I somehow knew he was doing it to protect Shuichi.
But now Yuki-san is truly gone.
I love Shuichi with all my heart. That's why it pains me to listen to his mournful sobs. Here I am, leaning against the closed door that leads to my love's broken cries. He cries brokenly and I feel so hopeless. If I could, I would bring Yuki-san back from the dead just to see Shu-chan smile again. I can't stand his cries. Something inside of me shatters and before I know it, drops of tears make their way down my cheek as I clutch Kumagorou to my chest. I run to Tohma's office and we talk. He asks me – no, he tells me he knows I'm in love with Shuichi. My long time friend smiles and encourages me to reach out for Shu-chan. He then shows me a pretty envelope, a goodbye letter Yuki-san wrote prior to his death. When Tohma goes to find K-san, Nakano-san, Fujisaki-san and Sakano-san, I call Tatsuha-kun and Mika-san. They need to be there when Shuichi reads the letter. If we can't save him, we can at least comfort him.
When everything is ready, we approach Shuichi. I take a seat beside him and squeeze his shoulder to comfort him. I let him read the letter but I don't peer at its content. Then he suddenly looks up and freezes He says "Yuki" and my comforting hand freezes. Is he hallucinating? But when I look up, my eyes widen. Snow! The snow was falling! It's impossible. It's Summer. How could snow fall in summer? Shuichi runs out and I took the fallen piece of paper. I read it for everyone to hear. We are all amazed when we read the last few words:
When it rains, know that
those are my tears,
letting you know how much I miss you,
and that I'm still by your side…
wind blows, know that those are my whispers,
my arms embracing you close;
letting you know that I will always stay by your side,
and that I'm still there with you…
And when it
snows, know that those are my kisses,
my confessions of undying love;
letting you know that I will always love you
and that I'm still there for you
because the snow, the rain and the wind,
they're all me….
I know it doesn't make sense but I just know it. Yuki-san is here. I run after Shuichi and Tohma-tachi follows me. People on the street are amazed by the falling snow. Shuichi runs around the park where he first met Yuki-san in circles. He shouts Yuki-san's name again and again. He cries but his cries now do not bring pain to my heart. It's happy, bittersweet cry. He cries and laughs at the same time. I look up to the sky in wonder. I feel the wind, the snow and tiny drops of rain fall onto me. More of them fall down and I smile. A couple drops of tears find their way down my cheek. "Yuki-san is here for Shuichi." That's all I can say.
As I look at Shuichi, I decide I want to see him smile and laugh like that all the time. I will never be able to replace Yuki-san but I can try to make new memories and open a new book of life with him. Looking up at the sky again, I make a promise, a vow by the name of Yuki-san. I will always be there for Shuichi; to protect him, to love him and to support him.
Maybe I was imagining things. Maybe I was dreaming but I swear I hear a soft voice that sounds like Yuki-san whispering:
"Shuichi…I love you."
Then again, Yuki-san is here now, isn't he?
((La Fin ))
Okay, that was crappy. Still, reviews anyone?? I'm off to finish 'Two Ryuichi and A Kumagorou', 'Summer in Winter' and 'And If The Sun Won't Shine'. See you guys later!