DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters, young or old, except for the original ones, so please don't sue. I'm just a student who's going to graduate from high school soon and could not afford to be sued by a company based in the United States. Thank you and have a nice day.

Summary: My take on season four. Jack tells the truth to Sydney, Irina is somewhere out there and more secrets will be revealed. All characters will appear but most of the ship thingies will belong to the Jack and Irina ship. A slight sprinkle of Sydney and Vaughn are also on the way.

A/N- A sequel to "Our Life is Complicated" is in the works. I'm sorry for the grammatical errors in this chapter. My beta reader will be on board on the third chapter… I hope you like this, reviews please.

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CHAPTER ONE

Mistakes. People make them. Nobody is perfect. Everybody's bound to make mistakes. Its something expected of people, whether we like it or not. They make us or break us. Sometimes, our mistakes haunt our children and their children's children. Mistakes are part of our lives. But some people are afraid to commit mistakes.

People like Jack Bristow.

"You weren't supposed to see this."

His daughter looked at him like he is the vilest creature on earth. His daughter, the only person he had truly cared about for the past fifteen years, now hates him for keeping a secret he has tried to forget.

"You killed her."

The tears slid down on Sydney's cheeks. Anger, hurt and confusion spread around her like forest fire as she tried to understand everything. And her father's impassive face doesn't help at all.

"You killed her." Sydney repeated, her voice, cracking. "You lied to me. You told me she was alive and was in touch with you. But all this time, she's six feet under the ground. Why? Why did you have to keep this secret from me?"

"I was trying to protect you."

He avoided Sydney's gaze. She is crying and it breaks his heart to see her in such state.

"Bullshit!" She snapped. "Don't justify what you did to my mother using that line." She said angrily. Her lips are quivering, but anger reigned inside her. Only god knows how much she wants lunge at him and to tear his eyes out.

"Irina did much worse, Sydney. Read more of those documents so that you'll know what I'm talking about." Jack retorted.

It hurt me to kill her. But I did it for you. If I hadn't done what's being asked of me to do, you'd probably dead right now, or still living Julia Thorne's life.

Oh how he wants to say that. To shout it at her. To just show his daughter that he is not the unfeeling, emotionless bastard she thought him to be.

Sydney took the UV mini-light and read the other papers. Her hands shook as she realized what her father is talking about. Her father's secrets.

Sydney Ann Bristow- 17 April, 1975

Nadia Mariska Bristow- 02 June 1982 (Missing)

Nathan Mikhail Bristow- 31 May 1987 (Deceased- 05 January 1990)

Sofya Alexa Bristow-31 May 1987 (Deceased- 05 January 1990)

Names following the second child of Agent Jack Bristow are proof of his betrayal to the country. These children were fruits of his affair with KGB agent Irina Derevko from the year 1985 to the year 1990. Not only did he use his position as the Senior CIA contact in Switzerland to meet with the late Derevko, he was also the man behind Agent William Vaughn's death.

The following papers revealed birth certificates, transcripts and her father's release records.

"Nadia's your daughter. Not Sloane." She remarked. "And you killed Vaughn's father."

"William Vaughn died because he took Nadia and refused to tell me where she was. Nadia is my daughter and those two children, the twins… they're my children too."

"I know. They're just… dead. What can we do about it?" Sydney answered and stared at him.

Jack went closer to his daughter, his face solemn. "Your mother took away something very valuable from me. I loved her. But I couldn't let her take you away from me. Not again."

"You're just tricking me." She said accusingly. "You want me to hate mom, and not you. It's not going to work. I'll not fall for it again." Sydney said angrily and stood up. Part of her wants to leave this place, to leave him. But another part of her doesn't want to. She wants the truth and she wants it now.

Jack sighed and felt totally defeated. He walked across the room and went to the vaults. He took a key from his pocket and opened vault number 1064.

As his fingers came in contact with the cold metal box, memories of the past began to flood back to him. The memories that taunt him in his dreams and that had become so unreal to him. Memories of the time he had with Irina and their children. Memories he'd rather bury to the ground than remember.

He opened the vault and took out several folders and envelopes inside. He looked at the documents and felt agonizing pain in his chest. It's his fault that everything turned out the way it is. Everything turned out to be a piece of unbeatable crap.

Jack placed the documents in front of Sydney. "The memories I have to live with. The memories I tried to take out from you and Nadia so that you wouldn't have to feel the pain of losing someone. I tried, Sydney. But… I failed."

Sydney looked at him. She can feel immeasurable pain from his voice. Her father sounds so broken.

She looked at the folders and envelopes in front of her and opened one. A faded newspaper article immediately greeted her.

DEATH TOLL IN HOTEL BLAST REACHES 2500; MORE BODIES ARE YET TO BE FOUND. BELGIAN GOVERNMENT TRYING ITS BEST TO FIND SURVIVORS.

Sydney looked at the date. January 10, 1990. Fourteen years ago.

She scanned the report. There were no indications of who the people responsible for the blast were. She looked at the other documents in the folder. They were all articles on the same tragedy.

Jack watched his eldest daughter looked at the documents. She has just started the first folder, the articles he meticulously archived to keep him straight with the facts with the incident.

Her hands traveled to one of the envelopes. When she took out the contents, she realized that they were photographs.

Photographs of her as a child.

Photographs of a little Nadia.

Photographs of two little babies.

Photographs of her, together with Nadia, the babies, her dad and her mom.

Her family.

The secrets. Probably the one of the reasons for his current actions.

"They died in the blast?" Sydney asked in a quiet voice.

Jack tried to impassively look at her but found out that he can't. His eyes brimmed with tears as the memory of seeing the hotel burn in front of his eyes and knowing that Irina and his two-year old twins are inside, resurfaced in his mind.

"Yes. Your… your mother refused to talk about them."

Sydney hands are trembling. "Why did you keep this from me? From us?"

Her father looked at her. A ball of guilt, anger and sorrow is lodged in his throat. "This is not the place for the explanation."

He felt her eyes stare at him. He could feel her pity, her shame, her distrust. And he could understand why she feels that way. He deserves to die for being such a coward.

"There's a safe house a few miles from here."

Sydney gathered the documents, stood up and left him.

-x-x-x-

"Your daughter is dead."

Olivia Reed looked at the speaker and raised a brow. Her daughter is dead? How can that be when she just talked to her a few days ago?

"I saw her die. Michael Vaughn killed her."

The finality of the tone and the truth that it carried drifted to her ears. She looked away from the speaker. She doesn't want her tears to be seen. She rarely shed tears even for the people she loved.

"Where is Agent Vaughn now?" Olivia asked after the tears went away.

"In the hospital. Recuperating from the wounds I gave him and the wounds he acquired while saving the young Bristow."

A contemplative look passed by her face. "He's going to pay, that's what I'm sure about." she said. "But we still have things to do. I'll deal with him later." Olivia said and looked at Katya Derevko.

"You still have things to do."

-x-x-x-

When they reached the safe house, the first thing Sydney did was to take off her wig and call the Rotunda. It was then she found out that Nadia escaped the CIA agents who are guarding her and disappeared.

"They lost Nadia." Sydney said as she sat down in front of her father. She looked at his face and saw a very weary man. He looks so worn out of the world. Lines of worry and anxiety crease his face and he seems to want to give up. He must be feeling that way because she has a lot of questions. And death isn't certainly an option when it comes to answering her questions.

"I killed your mother to protect you, Sydney."

His daughter looked at him. "She's dead. There's nothing I can do about it. I just want to know why I can't remember those two children."

"I erased your memory when I initiated Project Christmas when you were fifteen. You didn't know… about their deaths. And when I found Nadia, I erased every memory she had of us." Jack said and looked at her. "I really thought Irina died in that blast."

She stoically looked at him. She wants him to start.

Jack let out a deep breath and leaned back on his chair. He closed his eyes and started to recollect.

05 January 1990

Brussels, Belgium

He looked at his watch. He is in the park near the where hotel Irina and their children are staying. Excitement filled him as he waited for his two-year old twins whom he hasn't seen in three days. He is also excited because he has now the location of Nadia, his second child with Irina. She was taken by a colleague, a man he knew as William Vaughn.

'Bastard.' He thought as anger bubbled in his throat. The agent kidnapped her and presented her to the KGB. This led to Irina being tracked down in Switzerland and putting their family in danger. He quickly asked her father, Nikolai Derevko and his friend, Ben Devlin for assistance.

They decided to split the family in half. The twins will be in Irina's care and he will take care of Sydney and Nadia, once she is located. He also assigned a bodyguard for Irina and their twins, a trusted associate, Benjamin Petersen.

A beautiful smile spread across his face as he remembered his children. His source of pride and joy. Three beautiful daughters and a son. Innocent, carefree. And they will be great people.

He chuckled. The last line of thought was a bit funny. 'Great people. Sydney will be the first woman President of the United States, Nadia will be awarded with a Nobel Peace Prize, Nathan will be the next head of the United Nations and Sofya will be the next Katharine Hepburn… in terms of acting prowess.'

He looked at his watch again. Irina and the kids are late.

Just as then, thundering explosions echoed throughout the park. He froze when he heard the sounds and he slowly turned around to where the hotel is located.

It is crumbling down to the ground.

A whirlwind of emotions suddenly grasped him as he stared at the burning building. He is frozen to the spot, as if something is rooting him to the ground.

His thoughts screamed at him. 'MOVE! YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN ARE INSIDE!'

But he couldn't. Amidst the screaming, the sirens and the dust that is billowing around him, he stayed embedded to his spot. His thoughts are the only thing running around.

'MOVE GODDAMMIT! MOVE!"

This time, his legs moved. His body finally realized what is going on.

Jack ran as fear started to take over his body. 'No, no, no, no, no…' The two-letter word continuously resonated in his head.

NO, they're not dead because Irina couldn't be dead. NO; because Nathan and Sofya aren't dead. NO; because the family will be complete again, NO; because it's not their time yet. NO; I love them so please don't take them away from me. Not again.

Dirt and dust blew to his face and Jack had to cover his eyes to get through the thick smoke of powder that is swirling around. He couldn't see a thing.

Debris is flying everywhere but he didn't take much notice of it. He is only concerned about one thing. Getting to his loved ones and rescue them.

But before he could actually reach the place where the hotel used to stand, a flying block hit him in the head and knocked him unconscious.

Darkness pooled into him as he fell down to the ground. Even then, he still thought about his wife and children.

Sydney stared at him with tears brimming in her eyes when her father finished. Everything sounded preposterous but everything in front of her is proof of that tale. Part of her doesn't want to believe him. But she can see the insurmountable pain her father is going through.

"I investigated the blast for three whole months. I couldn't find them. Every clue that I got only led me to a wild goose chase. I hated the CIA for what happened, why they didn't stop it. I kept blaming them for you brother and your sister's death. I blamed your mother for their deaths. But it was partly my fault too."

The tears Sydney tried to keep from falling trickled out of her eyes

"I love all of you. And I thought that it was best if I just erase their existence so that you wouldn't have to live with the pain." Jack said his voice cracking. "I was wrong and I'm sorry if I have been a bad father."

Sydney's eyes widened when she saw her father break down in tears.

Jack Bristow is crying.

"Dad…" Sydney trailed off. "Dad, we all make mistakes."

"Yes, but I shouldn't have done that… I shouldn't have killed her. I loved her."

Sydney stood up from her seat and approached her father. She kneeled down right beside him and looked held his hand. "Dad, I'm sorry…"

"I don't deserve it."

Her heart broke. Her father had suffered so much and yet, he kept it all to himself. Fourteen years of misery and pain and yet no one seemed to know what he's feeling.

A few minutes later, her father looked up to her and gave a sorrowful smile. "You and Nadia liked their names."

"If ever Nadia remembers, she's bound to get angry."

Jack nodded his head. "Sloane believes that he and Irina truly had an affair. He believes that Nadia is his daughter."

"Yes, but you don't want Sloane to be her father, right?"

Jack didn't say anything and instead just looked at her.

I don't want to lie to you again. But I can't give you the whole truth right now. I hope you understand.

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