Watching this segment again reminded me how much fun I had writing chapter one. So here's chapter two, three and a half years later!
For those who don't know, the Simpsons short "Time and Punishment" was a parody of Ray Bradbury's A Sound of Thunder. The name, however, is a play off the title of the novel Crime and Punishment, written by Dostoevsky. Why bring this up? It just so happens Tezuka wrote a manga loosely based off of Dostoevsky's novel, and called it by the same name.
The universe is so very small.
TIME AND PUNISHMENT
Duke Red sits at a long, fancy table with his two children, eating a delicious breakfast at the start of a beautiful day.
Duke Red: You know, sitting here with you guys, in our beautiful house, in this wonderful, free country... it really makes me feel like I'm a lucky guy.
Tima: DAD! Your hand is jammed in the TOASTER!!!
Duke Red: ...what the? Oh merciful GOD IN HEAVEN GET IT OFF! (runs screaming around kitchen, slamming the toaster into many things trying to get it off) #$ing LORD NO!!! (finally gets it off) phew! (slides down wall till he's sitting on the floor)
Rock: DAD it's in there AGAIN!!!
Duke: GOD KILL ME!!!! (slams toaster on floor repeatedly)
The toaster is finally off for good and Duke Red has taken it into his office to try and fix it.
Duke Red: This shouldn't be too hard to fix. With the right tools, of course. (picks up a stone, starts hitting it against toaster)
6 hours later...
Duke Red: There! Better than new! (toaster has Christmas tree lights and leaves sticking out of it) Now to take her for a test toast.
He sticks a piece of bread inside and starts her up. Immediately, the toaster begins to shake and change color.
Duke Red: ...what the?
He goes to turn off the toaster, but as he touches it, a space time continuum opens up and he and the kitchen appliance are transported back in time...
To when dinosaurs roamed the earth!
Duke Red: (looks around amazed) Wow! I've gone back to a time where dinosaurs weren't just confined to zoos!
A pterodactyl swoops down and screeches.
Duke Red: AHHH! Phew, alright don't panic. Just remember the advice your father gave you on your wedding day...
Grandpa Red in a thought bubble: If you ever go back in time, don't step on anything! 'Cause even the slightest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine!
Duke Red: Alright then. As long as I stay perfectly still and don't touch anything, I won't destroy the future. (a bug lands on his shoulder) Oh, you wanna dance???!!! (squashes it) Ooops. Well, that was just a tiny, insignificant bug! That can't alter the future, can it? Can it???
Giant Sloth walking by: (shrugs shoulders)
The toast finally pops up and Duke Red is once again transported back to the present time.
Duke Red: Hm. Everything seems to be in order here. Better check on the kids.
He goes downstairs into the kitchen, where, oddly enough, both Rock and Tima are still sitting eating breakfast.
Duke Red: Oh good! Nothings changed.
All of a sudden, a loud beeping is heard, and Tima and Rock rise from the table like zombies and turn to a large screen that has suddenly transformed out of the kitchen floor. The screen flickers, and soon, Skunk's pasty white features come into view.
Duke Red: Oh son of a bitch.
Skunk: Good morning, slaves.
Tima and Rock: (monotone) Hidy ho Mr. Skunk-er-ino.
Duke Red: Hey! What the hells that a-hole Skunk doing on a giant screen?
An alarm in the kitchen goes off.
Skunk: Oop! I see with have a Negative Nancy in sector 2. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you guys to just freeze and prepare for re-skunk-ucation!
Rock turns to Duke Red with drool hanging from his mouth.
Rock: Why, father. Don't you remember? Skunk is the unquestioned lord and master of the earth.
Duke Red: SON OF A BITCH!
The house begins to move on it's own and is taken to the re-skunk-ucation center. Outside the motto reads "Where the Elite meet to have their spirits broken." Inside, Duke Red finds himself in a large room with hundreds of other people looking up at a giant screen where Skunk begins to address them.
Skunk: Now in case that little trip didn't cheer you up, there's one thing that never fails. A warm glass of milk, a little nap, and a total frontal lobotomy!
Duke Red: ...a what???
Ham Egg appears looking a little paler and more lethargic than usual.
Ham Egg: Aw Red, it's not so bad. They go in through your nose, and they let you keep the piece of brain they cut out. See? (holds up a jar filled with green liquid and a little piece of brain floating inside. Ham Egg waves to it) Hello! Hello there! (points to Duke Red) Who's that big man there? Who's that?
Rock and Tima: Join us... faaaatheeer...
Duke Red turns around to see Rock and Tima both holding up jars with pieces of brain inside.
Rock: It's bliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssss...
Duke Red: NOOOOO! (runs back to house) Must go back in time! Fix future!
He pushes the toast back into the machine and is once again transported back in time...
To when dinosaurs roamed the earth!
Duke Red: Okay, this time I'm not gonna touch a thing.
A t-rex appears and roars.
Duke Red: Ahhh! (runs away jumping over bushes and lizards and rocks trying not to squash anything) Mustn't crush, mustn't kill, made it! (He sits down on a fish that has evolved and crawled out of the water) oooooh, I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish.
The toast pops up and Duke Red finds himself back in his office. He runs around the house looking for Tima and Rock but finds it completely empty.
Duke Red: Hey, where is everyone...?
Suddenly, the house begins to shake violently and the roof is ripped right off. Duke Red looks up and sees two giant versions of his children peering down at him.
Rock: Hey look, there's a bug that looks like dad. Let's kill it!
Tima: (laughs) okay
Duke Red: WAAAAAGH! (runs away barely missing two giant fists.)
He pushes the toast back in, only to be transported back in time...
To when dinosaurs roamed the earth!
He arrives panting and is once again threatened by the same t-rex.
Duke Red: GGGAAAAHHH!!!!--aaaaCHOO! (sneezes on t-rex's face)
The t-rex sniffs the air and then drops dead. This causes a chain reaction and soon every dinosaur in view is keeling over and dying.
Duke Red: This is gonna coast me...
The toast pops up and Duke Red is transported back to his office, which is much fancier than before. Although that seems highly unlikely. He runs downstairs and finds Tima in an expensive dress with diamonds attached to it, sitting at an even bigger table being waited on by 20 servants.
Duke Red: Aw snap!
Tima: (gets up and hands him the paper) Good morning, father! I hope you're well?
Duke Red: Indeed I am!
Tima: Are we taking the new Lexis to the president's funeral today?
Duke Red: (thinking) Hmmm, well behaved daughter, political opponent dead... I hit the jackpot! (sits down at table) Hey, where's Rock?
Tima: Who's Rock?
Duke Red: Oh, this just keeps getting better and better!
Tima: Oh look! Here's mother!
Walking down the spiral staircase is a heavily pregnant woman in her early thirties wearing a bright red dress. As she gets closer, we realize it's Rock.
Roquett: Good morning, dear!
Duke Red: DEAR CHRIST STRIKE MY EYES WITH LIGHTNING AND MAKE ME BLIND! (runs down into the basement with the toaster)
Roquett: My water broke!
After another fiasco with the dinosaurs, Duke Red is transported back into his basement. He very cautiously makes his way up the stairs and opens the door. Starring back at him is Lynny.
Lynny: You're still not in your own world, Duke Red! I can get you home, but you have to do exactly as I... AAAGHCCK!!! (Kenichi stabs her in the back with an ax)
Kenichi: (in the voice of James Earl Jones) This is indeed a disturbing universe.
Duke Red once again travels back to where the dinosaurs are, but this time he brings a bat.
Duke Red: Don't touch anything??? I'LL TOUCH WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!! (hits a bunch of trees, kicks a sloth in the face, steps on a bunch of lizards, punches a giant moth in the stomach, smacks around a baby monkey...)
Duke Red repeats this back and forth fiasco a good hundred more times, each world more grotesque and horrifying than the last. The universe shifts and changes. Their house turns into an igloo, a stone house very similar to the Flinstones, the original McDonalds, an underwater sea castle, a giant boot, and a sphinx with Rock's head on it.
Centuries, maybe millennium afterwards, Duke Red finds himself once again in his basement holding the toaster. He is exhausted and panting, but makes his way up the stairs and shakily opens the door. On the other side he sees Rock and Tima setting the table for breakfast. Rock turns around and smiles.
Rock: Fix it yet?
Duke Red: (runs up and starts shaking him) What's my name?! What color is the sky?! Are you PREGNANT?! For the love of God tell me!!!
Rock: Er... uh, you're Duke Red, the sky is blue, and no I'm not pregnant, but thank you for reminding me. Now what's gotten into you?
Duke Red: Nothing, nothing at all. Let's just eat.
They sit down at the table, Rock and Tima immediately start eating their breakfast with forked like tongues.
Duke Red: ... Eh, close enough.