Hi everyone! I've read over a bunch of the Van Helsing fanfic and I LOVE!!!!!! it, so I thought I'd explain a few things...(1) why Dracula is so obsessed with bringing children to life even after two of his brides die, (2) why he has no emotions, and (3)explaining the deep, bitter hatred that he has in his eyes when he says "We have such...history, you and I, Gabriel." (It couldn't be completely because Van Helsing murdered him; Dracula wouldn't hold a grudge against someone whose actions gave him immortality and basically unlimited power, would he? I don't think so, anyway.)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Tatiana, Eleanor Anna, Elisabet, and various other "small" characters...but you knew that already cheeky grin

So yeah...that's about it. Enjoy. And please review!!!!!!!!! (donations will be accepted as well...jk)

The wind blew the smoke over the sea as Gabriel Van Helsing stood staring up into the clouds. His beloved was dead. Anna was no more, and he had killed her. No, he thought. Not I. HE did it with his damn beasts. HE killed her before I—no, the werewolf—did. HE made her brother into what she had hunted for so long, took her father, took her mother, took everything from her. I did what I could, I swore to protect her. We saved her family. But I cannot go on without her, God, I cannot. When have I ever failed you? When have I ever done anything but Thy Will? The last was a mental scream.

Van Helsing felt something like peaceful anger steal over him, if such a thing were possible. He found himself retreating into his mind, and a shimmering, fragile piece of memory rose to the surface. In his mind's eye, he stepped into the memory, both because of the desire to grasp even a tiny bit of his past and because he felt compelled to do so.

The grass on the mountainside rippled gently in the spring breeze. A gravestone stood before him, faded by time until the letters could no longer be read. This was where the path ended. The ground was worn before it, and there was a small clump of flowers, wilted irises, that were laid lovingly at its base. A sense of unmistakable anguish surrounded the beautiful scene.

Confused, he opened his eyes. The sense of anger was gone, but the peace remained. This, my son, is why Anna was taken.


Carl turned to look at him oddly. "I didn't say anything, Van Helsing."

Gabriel looked at him distractedly. "Wha-? Oh, no, of course not."

He turned slowly and looked into the flames. Anna—he could not bear to look at her, to watch her burning slowly into ash that he would bury in Rome, where the holiest were laid to rest forever. A rest that he would never have. The Left Hand of God. Maybe it was better that he had lost his memory.

He wondered if there had ever been another like Anna. After all, Gabriel, he heard a mocking voice in his head say, you've been alive…or what passes for it…since the dawn of man. A pretty wench here, a queen there, do you even remember them? What do you possibly know of love?

Gabriel clenched his fist. Even his inner conscience had HIS voice, mocking him in heavily accented tones. There was no other, Dracula. He knew, of course, that Dracula was dead, but Gabriel's thoughts were so close to something HE would say that they sounded as if he had, indeed, said them.

A sickening thought struck Van Helsing. What if Dracula had said the words, in that enraged tone, which sounded so familiar? No, for they had a ring of grief to them, and Dracula had never felt grief. Perhaps when his brides had been destroyed, but it was probably only anger that he no longer had such loyal ones to do his bidding. HE had never loved them, Van Helsing was sure. In fact, he was sure that HE had never loved anyone, not even his own mother.

There was a sighing sound from behind him, and he turned quickly to see something that was probably a spark rising from the pyre. He turned away just as quickly as a new wave of grief tumbled over him.

A beam of sunlight struck his face, and he blinked. It was almost luminescent in its brightness, and felt so warm and wonderful that he imagined that he was kissing Anna again. The sunlight faded as he closed his eyes, and he snapped them open in time to see a cloud shifting to reveal a radiance that was not of this world.

There was a giant open space in the clouds, and shapes were beginning to form. He stared as he recognized Velkan and Boris Valerious. They smiled, then stepped aside as Anna's face filled the sky.

Van Helsing looked up, eyes shining. I love you, he wanted to cry out, but he kept it in his heart. She smiled, and he knew she had heard. "Thank you," she whispered, before she took her brother's arm and entered Heaven in a blaze of glory.

Van Helsing turned slowly as the clouds parted and the sun came out. Anna was gone, ashes filtering softly over the stone. He quickly gathered her ashes in a special container, then sealed it tightly, pressing his lips to it and damning Dracula at the same time. Why, God? he asked again silently, eyes threatening to spill over.

The heavens were silent. The only answer he got was a haunting mental picture of a gravestone and a clump of irises.

Read on, Macduff! (sorry that was random)...neway...