"Spying on the dudes in HFIL" By Lady Cell

Me: Beware the insanity that comes from my head

R. Dude: Yeah, beware!

Disclaimer: "Dragon ball Z" is a manga (comic book) created by Akira Toriyama. Now, if I have created it, you wouldn't be reading this because you would have already seen an episode like this fanfic. But I didn't create it, nor do I have anything to do with "Dragon Ball Z" except for the fact that I am a fan, so an episode like this was never created. I only own Lady Cell (who is actually ME) and you can't take her away from me EVER!!!!! Um…don't sue?

"Hey, Vegeta! Wanna spy on the guys in HFIL?"

Goku asked Vegeta who was training. "Baba gave me her crystal ball and told me how to work it. What do you say?" Goku asked again.

Vegeta stopped doing pushups and jumped to his feet. "It's not like I have something better to do. Watching those losers could be amusing." Vegeta said with a smirk.

Goku grinned and sat on the ground, and Vegeta joined him, sitting Indian stile. "Lets see…how do the magic words go? Ah yes."

Goku cleared his throat "Wuddu duddu. Duddu wuddu. Show me please the…uhh…HFIL dudes! Yeah, that's right!" Goku and Vegeta looked in to the ball.


"Would you like some more tea Bobbidi?" Frieza sat at round table covered in a white tablecloth, with a delicate porcelain floral teapot poised over a matching empty cup.

"Yes, please." Frieza refilled Bobbidis cup and sat back down.

Just then Lady Cell walked in. "Hey guys…you having a gossip séance?"

Frieza was about to answer when Cell came with potholders on his hands and holding a plate with cookies. "Who would like some cookies?" Cells melodious voice floated through the air

"Mmm…don't mind if I do." Lady Cell said and took a cookie. She popped one in her mouth

"Hey, these are quite good." She took another one.

"Correction." Cell spoke up "They are perfect." Everybody except Lady Cell and Cell sweat drooped. There was a moment of uneasy silence.

"Perfect. Sorry." Lady Cell corrected herself and sat next to Frieza. The villain's sweat drooped even more, but Cell didn't pay attention to them and took a seat across of Dabura, next to Lady.

Bobbidi coughed to clear his throat "You know, I never found out why you are here Lady. What did you do?" he asked in his annoyingly high-pitched voice.

Lady swallowed the cookie she was eating and grinned "Oh, nothing much. Tried to take over the world, destroyed millions of lives etc. You know, the usual."

Bobbidi nodded "So, who stopped you?"

Lady took another cookie "Well, it wasn't me who did the bad things, bud my evil conscience: Chibi Pan. While I was fighting Gohan I was Chibi Pan, but turned back in to me and was destroyed." She eat her cookie.

"So…you personally are here for nothing?" Dabura asked.

She grinned "No, I am here because I encouraged my evil side to do those things." She took a sip of her tea. Dabura and Bobbidi sweat drooped slightly.

Lady took a cookie and offered it to Dabura "Would you like a cookie?" she asked the orange-red demon that was sitting quietly across Cell with his arms folded over his chest.

Dabura just glared at her. "Oh, come on! They are really go…perfect!" she corrected herself.

He didn't reply

"Please?" she gave her puppy dog look.

He was still silent. Lady frowned at this and then tried pushing the cookie in to his mouth.

"Hey, stop!"

"Eat it!!!"

"I don't want to."

"Do it, do it, come-on!"

Everybody sweat drooped as the two had their little fight. Bobbidi decided to change the subject and coughed to clear his throat

"Well…anyway. I like what you done with this place."

"Ah, yes. We just finished redecorating this place. I was getting second minded about those curtains, but I am pleased how it worked out." Frieza replied, satisfied with himself.

"Yes, they do make quite a detail. I especially like the blood red drops."

Frieza blushed slightly "Thank you. A person needs to have some kind of a life to live down here."

"Frieza…we are dead…" Cell interrupted

"Well you know what I mean!" Frieza said.

Meanwhile, Lady was still trying to get Dabura to eat that cookie.

"Why wont you eat it?"

"Because I don't want to!"

"But why? That's what I'm asking!!!"

Cell sighed and closed his eyes in annoyance. Frieza just frowned slightly. So did Bobbidi.

"They are acting so childish." Frieza said, and Bobbidi nodded.

Frieza cleared his throat to try and get the attention of the bickering pair, but no use. "Will you two calm down?" He growled, but the only reaction he got was from Lady who glared at him, and then continued to bicker with Dabura.

Cell sighed again, pulled Lady down and kissed her cheek. She froze and stopped talking (Me: (Makes amazed sounds) Wow, me shutting up? Oooooh aaaaaaah…)

She instantly calmed down and blushed slightly.

Dabura and Bobbidi stared, while Frieza just took a sip of his tee.

"Wow…" Bobbidi mussed.

Cell looked at them and glared slightly. "What? This is the only way to calm her down. If I didn't kiss her she would never stop the fight, she is too stubborn."

Bobbidi and Dabura didn't say anything.

Lady was awaked from her trance by a clock beeping. "Oh my. Its time to pick up the 7 little demons from kindergarten."

She got up from her knees and rushed out the door. Then she came back, bowed and ran out again. Everybody stared at the place where she was.

"She is a very…interesting human." Dabura said. The other three nodded.

Frieza cleared his throat and decided to change the subject. "So Bobbidi. What have you two been doing lately?"

"Well, I am taking sculpturing, but I never was happy with my work. So I found a great way for fun. I would shape them as one of the Z fighters, then blast them in to smithereens." Dabura said.

Frieza and Cell smirked at the thought.

"Well, I have been reading a book called 'How to torture your enemies even when you are dead.' Very educative." Bobbidi piped in.


"So…" Frieza laughed "…now whenever he hears a beep he would run around and scream 'Aaaaaaah!!!! It's THE bird!!!!!' while crashing in to walls and falling of cliffs." He laughed even harder. Everyone else laughed also.

Bobbidi wiped a tear "Oh god. The poor coyote." (Yes, It's Wile E. Coyote from Road Runner. I don't hate him, and I don't want him to end up in hfil, but a friend of my insisted to put him here. I personally would like to see that bird here more than that cute wittle coyote!)

They all stopped laughing when they heard things crashing and breaking outside, followed by a female growl and some whimpering and screaming.

Frieza took another sip of his tea and smirked "Seems that Lady and the seven chibi Cells have returned."

When he said that, the boys crashed thru the door and hidden behind their father

"She's gone mad!" One squeaked

"Chibi pan is gonna kill us!!!!" another one whimpered.

"What did you do this time?" Cell asked with a sigh

"Umm…we were teasing her…" the first one said.

Then Lady came in to the house, eyes closed and twitching, hands clutched in to fists and aura flaming around her body.

"Man, you guys really pissed her of." Dabura said.

Cell sighed again "Chibi, calm down!"

"Chibi?" Bobbidi asked

"Yes, chibi. Chibi Pan actually. She is Lady Cell's evil conscience. Look. Her hair is spikier and she doesn't have pupils. And she acts like a bitch and is easily ticked of." Frieza explained.

Lady opened her eyes and glared at everybody with a look that send a chill down everybody's spine. She took a step closer and growled at the chibis behind Cell

"I will teach you to make fun of me!" She took another menacing step towards Cell.

"We are sorry!" One yelled "Come on! The joke was funny!" another one joined in "I mean, you did get drunk last month and tried to make out with everybody!"

"Yeah!" "No mistake there" "It is true." "Can't denie it…" all seven of them commented on that, but quieted after she send them another glare.

Cell turned his head to glare at his cowardly sons. "Afraid of a weak girl. Pathetic." He said

"Hey, you were lucky and didn't fell her rage! Give us a brake!" One Cell Jr. said

"Weak? Oh-ho-ho…Who are you calling weak?" Chibi said while walking up to Cell and glaring directly in to his eyes

"You." He answered her.

"I am maybe weak comparing to you, but so is Chi-Chi comparing to Goku. But did you see Goku stand up to Chi-Chi?" She asked

"Of course you didn't! That's because we are strong in our own way and we are scary." She spat at him.

Cell didn't say a word. She put her index finger on his nose.

"I knew you would agree with me." Chibi smirked

"Chibi…shut up." Cell said and kissed her on the lips and quickly pulled away.

Chibi's pupils returned and her hair was smooth again.

"Now be a good girl and sit on your seat." She did as she was told.

"And you little trouble makers go to your room." The Cell Jr.'s obeyed.

"And you stop staring!" Cell barked at the villains whose eyes almost fell out of their sockets. They quickly looked away. (Me: Ooooooh…He is sooo manipulative. But he is nothing compared to me. (Cracks whip))

After a short silence, Bobbidi decided to speak up "So, what's new around here?"

"Well, I got myself a Cell" Lady smirked and leaned on Cell

"Woman, get off of me." Cell growled (Me: Does this sentence remind you on someone?)

Everybody stared at them. Dabura smirked "Congratulations Cell, seems that you have found a mate."

"Now, wait a second! She is not my mate!" Cell yelled

"Then tell me why did I see you in her room yesterday?" Frieza smirked also

"I was just talking!"

"Cell, you and Lady were kissing."

During all this Bobbidi was rolling on the floor and laughing, while Lady was glomping Cell and Cell was as red as a cherry. Lady didn't pay attention to what Frieza was talking, cause if she did, she would most probably beat him to a bloody pulp for spying on them.


Lady was sitting in Cells lap, while he was holding her around her waist. It looks like Lady won and got Cell.

"I heard Jeice had a fight with Spice from the Spice boys for a girl." Cell said

"Really? Who won?" Dabura asked

"I think Jeice did." Lady piped in

"Well who's the lucky girl?" Freiza asked

"I think it's a princess Snape, Snate…I am not sure." Cell said

"Princess Snake." Lady closed her eyes as she answered the question.

"The rest of the Ginyu force started a band." Bobbidi said

"Yes, I heard about that." Dabura said

"The Spice boys made a band also!" Lady piped in

"Nobody knows how to sing in either of the groups" Frieza thought back to the time the Ginyu force sang

"But the Ginyu gang does know how to dance" Cell said

"And if nobody did listened to them, they would blow them up." Bobbidi giggled

"…Or feed them to Buu." Lady Cell laughed also

"Raditz and Zarbon got new jobs as barbers." Frieza said

"They did?" Bobbidi asked

"Mmm-hhhm. They have been doing pretty good." Frieza explained

"Barbers make a lot of money too." Dabura said

"I went there. They do a great job, but the only thing I didn't like was that they were flirting with me. It was nice at the beginning, but they are such players…" Lady thought back to the time she went to get a haircut, and giggled

"Yes, Zarbon left a million girlfriends in the live world…" Frieza said, in thought

"Next time they even try to flirt with you, they would wish that they have never been born" Cell growled slightly

"Oh, Cell. I didn't know you cared." Lady leaned on to Cells chest

"I am as surprised as you are." Cell murmured

Time passed and the gossip party was coming to a close. Everybody was standing on the porch.

"Well we had a great time. We should repeat this sometime." Bobbidi said

"How about this Friday? We are going to call Jeice and Princes Snake over, and Cell is trying out a new soufflé recipe." Lady Cell smiled and leaned her head on Cell.

"Sounds great." Dabura smiled himself (Me: Whoa! He SMILED!!!!)

"You should bring kid Buu here too. To play with the Cell Jr.'s. They just love playing together." Frieza piped in

"It should be a perfect evening." Cell smirked and put his hand around Lady's waist

"It's a date then." Bobbidi smiled "And thank you for the cookies for Buu."

Dabura and Bobbidi flew up and waved. The three on earth were waving and were saying their goodbyes. As they got in to the house, the scene faded.


Goku and Vegeta sat dazed as the picture on the crystal ball faded.

"I don't know about you Vegeta, but I think I've been scared for life"

"Yeah, I think I am traumatized."

"That was wrong on so many levels"

"Kakarot, this is the last time we will use Baba's ball to spy on people."

Me: (Looks at what she wrote and blinks) WTF???

R. Dude: Don't ask me…

Me: (looks at her hot cocoa and takes a whiff) What is in this stuff?