A/N: Ah my last chapter. In this chapter, I like how…innocent it is. There's just something about it. I'm really not making any sense but I don't really care ;)

FKW: I'm listening to Jem again…over and over again. It brings back memories of a certain entertaining episode in which the ending had me smiling…a lot. Hmm…I have to say I'm looking forward to your posting tomorrow…should be interesting ;) Good luck with it and stay out of the sun, smile more and frown less! Na na na na na nightmares! Luv ya as always :)

xoRetributionox: Thanks for the review! Um…the sequel is called "Twice Deceived", so look out for it ;) Hope you enjoy this last chapter though :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Crossing Jordan, or the song "Fear" by Sarah McLachlan.

Ok, with that said, all enjoy it!

Deception
Chapter 11: Beautiful Goodbye


Morning broke through the curtains and I stared through them. The sun poked through the patterned holes in the soft material and I swallowed. I knew what I was going to do. It was called deception on so many levels but I justified that by believing it was an act of love. And faith. Then it was not so much deception but a leap of faith. He breathed hollowly beside me, his chest heaving with each calculated inhale and exhale. His arm lay underneath my back, his hand resting protectively on my stomach. I lay still next to him, not daring to move until I had to.

-Morning smiles

Like the face of a newborn child Innocent, unknowing-

I flinched as I watched the numbers on the clock change. All of them changed at once and it was now six in the morning. My flight was in three hours. I shifted, shrugging his hand carefully off my stomach. Sitting up slowly, making sure I did not wake him with my movement, I stepped out of the side of the bed.

-Winter's end

Promises of a long lost friend

Speaks to me of comfort-

I dressed myself quickly before walking out of the room and collecting my fawn coat off the rack next to the door of his apartment. I dug my hand into its deep pocket and found the bottle of perfume before walking quietly back into his room, my coat hanging limply over my arm. As I reached his side of the bed, I pulled out the top draw of his bedside table. I found what I needed and picked it up, scribbling on it rough words. I put the pen back into the draw and closed it slowly, making sure it didn't creak.

-But I fear

I have nothing to give

And I have so much to lose

Here in this lonely place

Tangled up in our embrace-

When it did though, he flinched in his sleep and pinched his eyes closed, before relaxing again and seeping in the morning. When his breathing returned to normal I walked back over to the side I had slept on, sitting on it and leaning over Woody.

-There's nothing I'd like

Better than to fall

But I fear I have nothing to give-

I touched his cheek and traced along the outlines of his face with my fingers. I brushed against his skin lightly, willing silently for him not to wake up. Unbroken, like a child. Innocent, like a child. Asleep, like a child. But he wasn't a child. He was a man with many demons. In his sleep though, those demons didn't exist. He dreamt of angels. He had his light.

-Wind in time

Rapes the flower trembling on the vine

Nothing yields to shelter it

From above-

I dreamt of demons. I had my darkness. And the only way that would evaporate was if I did this, met with him to clear everything. Then I could join Woody in his dreaming, sing and fly with the angels like he did.

-They say temptation will destroy our love

The never ending hunger-

His lips twisted into a smile suddenly…and I felt myself smiling back, even though I knew he couldn't see me. I ran my fingers over his forehead, brushing unruly tendrils of his hair away from his closed eyes. I let my finger slip across his nose softly and then run over his lips. They were open as he breathed heavily.

-But I fear

I have nothing to give

I have so much to lose

Here in this lonely place

Tangled up in our embrace-

As long as I had this cloud looming over me we both wouldn't move forward. I had to get closure somehow and doing this seemed like the only way to get what I both wanted and needed.

-There's nothing I'd like better

Than to fall-

I was falling in love…but something was holding me back. Something I needed to cut off. And until then, I had nothing to give to him.

-But I fear

I have nothing to give

I have so much to lose-

Sliding off the bed, I gave him one final look before I walked towards the door.

-I have nothing to give

We have so much to lose-

We were going to see each other. Soon. But for now, this was a beautiful goodbye.


A/N: On an ending note, I would like to say a huge thank you to the people who reviewed this story, and even to those who read it but didn't review. Without you guys there would be no story :) Thank you.