Summary: Basically, Dumbledore decides one morning that he wants to invite every single character from everything to a party to get them all together. He also invites his good friend Jimmy Singer to host a confrontational and confessional talk show... thing. Probably won't get many reviews, but I'll continue anyway because I like to write stories that just babble on and that I hope are funny.
A/N: TV shows/movies/books I'll include try to characters from at least once in (list probably not completely... complete...): Harry Potter (duh), Degrassi, American Dreams, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Lord of the Rings, Cruel Intentions, Spiderman, Gossip Girl, Everwood, Fushigi Yuugi, Ceres, Fruits Basket, Cowboy Bebop, Darren Shan series (yes, I know those books are for little kids but they're so intense!)...
Dislcaimer: I own THE WORLD! Bwhahahaha... that was a really lame joke... (I don't own anything... sob)
It was very cold oustide. The trees were shivering. It was a good thing that the giant squid decided to take his vacation to Hawaii that week; otherwise he would have frozen his tentacles off.
But inside the students were milling about the Dining Hall, waiting for the other guests to arrive. Today was going to be a fun day. Or at least, that's what Dumbledore had told them. And they generally believed everything that came out of his bearded mouth.
Suddenly a gigantically loud gong noise rang through the room. It was very loud. Hermione covered her ears, Harry fell over, and Ron ate his earwax. He spat into a spittoon a few seconds later.
Dumbledore jumped up from his seat across the room from the Three With the Damaged Ears and then flew up onto a stage and spoke into a magic microphone.
"That gong has just announced the arrival of our first guests! Everyone get ready!" he said with a cheery smile and a maniacal twinkle in his eye.
The students held their breath as they turned their heads in slow motion to the door. They (the students) were all sitting at different round tables covered in white tablecloths around the Dining Hall. At one end of the room there was a stage with lots of chairs set up on it. That's where the Jerry Springer-like Jimmy Singer shows were going to be held.
Anyhoo, back to the boring story that will get better; everyone was still all spun around slowly to see who was entering. Soon they could see a toe and then a heel- things were still in slow-mo- and then a knee and finally the whole body had stepped into the room.
It was Paige! Soon followed by Hazel pushing a crippled Jimmy in his wheelchair, Spinner flirting with Manny, Craig being a deformed turtle version of Adam Brody, and Ashley being stupid. Then came JT looking sexy, with a not-so-sexy Toby behind him. The one, two, three... nine of them stood in the entrance of the Dining Hall looking slightly confused. There was silence for a minute as the fingers hooted and the owls tapped themselves on the immaculately white tablecloths. Then everyone got up and bombarded the cast. Because everyone loves Degrassi.
But what they didn't realize was that Emma, Sean, Jay, Alex, Ellie, and Marco (phew, there are lots of people in Degrassi!) were all missing! Gasp! If they had stepped right outside the Dining Hall they would have noticed, though.
Ellie had entered the building, her arms intertwined with Marco's. Sean was storming in behind her, fuming. She was supposed to be dating HIM not MARCO! They were supposed to have BROKEN UP because he (Marco) is GAY! Behind Sean was Emma, chasing after him.
(A/N: Poo. I seem to have forgotten what happened on the American season finale of Degrassi. I just remember that Sean said he was going to live with his parents and Ellie got sad and then they all drove away with Jay and Alex. But why was Emma staring at him out of the car window...? Oh well. Imagination time!)
"Sean, wait!" Emma said, standing dramatically in the middle of the Entrance Hall. She did a lot of dramatic standing in the middle of hallways.
Sean turned around with a grumpy look on his face. His hairy eyebrow wiggled.
"Sean, we need to talk," Emma said, the tension so thick you could cut it with a guillotine. "I have something very important to tell you." She took a dramatic breath dramatically. "Your eyebrow is crawling across your face."
Sean gasped. Someone had discovered his secret: his eyebrows weren't really eyebrows. They were caterpillars! But honestly, who couldn't figure that out? No one's eyebrow's are that hairy naturally.
He picked up his eyebrow/caterpillar and placed it on his eyebrow bone thing. There.
"God, Emma, is that all you wanted to say?" He ground his teeth. He did a lot of that in the season finale. "I'm going through a hard time right now, not to mention my girlfriend is pissed at me and hanging out with a gay guy! Jeez!" He whimpered and turned on his heel before stomping off. (A/N: I have nothing against gay people!)
"But I want to be your girlfriend," Emma said dramatically under her breath. Luckily Sean didn't hear because he was too busy storming off dramatically into the Dining Hall.
Alex and Jay had threatened to punch a little fourth year really hard if he didn't tell them the charm to crawl into a ceiling, so the little kid reluctantly gave in. They used the charm and put a disgusting concoction into various areas of the ceiling, rigging them to drop on their cue. Hopefully no one would shoot anyone this time, though.
Happy with what they had done, Alex and Jay entered the Dining Hall with smug smiles on their faces. They went straight to the buffet table at the command of their growling stomachs. Besides, what else were they going to do? Hang out with "the boy who lived", his friend who spat earwax into a spittoon, and his other friend who had bad hair and gignormous teeth? No way in Degrassi Hell. They'd go torture them later.
Luckily for them, the boy who lived and his hairy, earwaxy friends were having a good enough time talking to Spinner, Paige, Jimmy, and Hazel. Dean, Seamus, and Ginny were there too.
"So why are you in a wheelchair?" Ginny asked ignorantly, not realizing that Jimmy might be a little bit sensitive about what happened to him.
"I got shot," Jimmy responded.
Hazel's eyes visibly teared up. Hmm... I wonder if they could not visibly tear up...
"I had a really weird dream last night," Hermione told everyone. "There was this really hot guy, and he was standing in a hallway. Then these girls appeared and they started screaming "jub!" and then he ran away from them. And they chased him."
"What's a "jub"?" Ginny wondered aloud.
"Wow, this party totally sucks," Paige whispered loudly to Hazel.
"I know. How can these people be so rude to Jimmy?" Hazel asked astonishedly.
Paige scoffed. "I'm going to get something to eat." She tromped off in her ugly shoes.
Hermione spotted Emma sitting sullenly in a corner and decided she would see what was wrong.
"Hi, I'm Hermione," she announced, sitting on a chair next to Emma.
Emma looked up. "Emma," she grumbled.
Emma sighed dramatically. Everything Emma does is dramatic.
"Nothing. You wouldn't understand." She pouted.
"Why not?" Hermione was slightly offended at Emmas blunt but dramatic remark.
Emma sighed dramatically. "See that guy over there?"
It was Sean. Oh my goodness, what a surprise.
"That guy with the eyebrow crawling across his face?"
"Well, we used to be dating and then he started dating that girl." She pointed to Ellie. "But now he and Ellie- that's her name- are fighting and my feelings for Sean- the caterpillar-eyebrow kid- are returning. Oh, what do I do?!" With that she started sobbing uncontrollably into Hermione's shoulder.
"It's okay, Emma," Hermione said, patting her head lightly. "I think you should tell Sean the truth."
"I-I-I-hic-I've tried," Emma sobbed. "But he's obsessed w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-with Ellie- HIC"
"Ssssh... don't try and talk; it's breaking your vocal chords," Hermione advised.
"Ellie, we need to talk," Sean said through gritted teeth. He was angry partly at Ellie and partly at his left eye catarpillar, Stinky.
Ellie sighed depressedly. "What, Sean?" she responded, turning away from Marco to face him.
He stuck Stinky back on his eyebrow bone thing so roughly he almost squished him. "I don't like you spending so much time with Marco!"
"We're just friends, Sean, you know that," she responded depressedly.
"Look, Ellie, I know your upset about this whole thing between me and my parents, but you have to understand that they're my parents and I need to live with them," Sean explained angrily through gritted teeth.
Ellie frowned before turning on her plastic black heel and stomping depressedly off in a storm of rubber bands, red side ponytails, and black eye makeup. Everything Ellie did was done depressedly. Just like Emma was dramatic. And Sean was angry with gritted teeth. Phew.
"You know, Ron, that girl sort of looks like you," Harry said to his friend as he (Harry) hid his joint from view as Snape strolled greasily by and as he (Ron) spat more earwax into his golden spittoon.
"Who? That chick. No way." Ron was looking at Manny. "She's too hot to look like me."
"No, you douchebag, that girl." Harry pointed at Ellie pouting depressedly in a corner.
"Well, she's a bit too depressed to be a Weasley, silly," Ron responded.
Harry sighed. "This is too difficult." He smoked his pot.
Ron stared a bit more closely at Ellie. Could she be a distant cousin of his? He knew that his mom had several brothers and sisters, but was any of them a squib? Or was this girl a squib from a wizard family? Ron excitedly pulled on his Sherlock Holmes outfit. Time to solve a mystery!
A/N: The end of chapter one! Did that suck? Please review and tell me what you think! I'll probably continue it no matter what, though. Flames are welcome I guess, although they scare me a wee bit sometimes. More characters to come next! And some Jimmy Singer! Bwahahaha...