A/N: I only got two reviews for the last chapter, but that's okay! I just hope I get more for this one! Lol.
MOSTLYmozart: Yeah, I think it had at the time I wrote that… But there's a new one on now! Don't worry!
Erica: Yay! You reviewed! I'm sorry you don't know the Degrassi characters but thank you for reveiewing!
Disclaimer: I own the idea. I don't own the characters unless otherwise mentioned, Ocean's Eleven, Time for CIT… Woohoo…, Midwest, New Screen Name: Zeezle1219, Give me back my pants, George Lucas (don't report me!), the whole "It. Is. On." conversation I actually got from Big Brother 2 or whichever one had Will the doctor on it, "coocoo for CoCoPuffs", CoCo Puffs, Mr. Burns from the Simpsons, Ghost in the Machine, "who are the vile beginners of this fray", and iPods.
Chapter Six: Bullets and Bees
Since Will Turner is rather dense, he sort of forgot that he was hiding from Kathryn/Buffy. So he left the pirate and WTB and went over to go introduce himself to Anakin Skywalker.
"Hello," Will said, holding out a hand to shake, "I'm Will Turner."
"Anakin," was Anakin's response. He didn't really understand this whole hand shaking concept. He was dense, too, and they didn't shake many hands a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
Will put his hand down awkwardly. He then saw his sword hanging in his belt thingy. "I have a sword," he said.
"I can see that." Anakin knew that he had something cooler. But he was waiting for the opportune moment to show it off.
"Do you have a sword?"
"No," Anakin responded honestly. The opportune moment was now. He took out his lightsaber and held it right in front of his dick, as he always did. Then he turned it on. –FWOOM- "I have a lightsaber."
"Holy crap in my pants! What in the name of baby Jesus is that?" Will Turner exclaimed. Being the giant tool that he is, he thought that Anakin had just pulled out his three-foot-long anaconda.
Anakin held it up. "It's a lightsaber, you douche."
Will jumped back. And now he just ripped his own genitals off! Who was this creature!
A crowd had now gathered. Thankfully, most people there were a tad smarter than Will and Anakin combined. They knew that it was a lightsaber, which is a weapon, which is not a penis. Although I suppose that sometimes a penis can be a weapon. Just not right now.
The only people in the room who seemed to not care very much about Anakin's lightsaber/anaconda/penis monster were Ocean's Eleven plus Jonathan J. Pryor II. They were playing poker. It was rather fun.
"Time for CIT… Woohoo…?" Virgil Malloy said, starting the Status Message game.
The Status Message game is a game in which everyone recites one of the status messages from people on The Author's buddy list.
"Midwest," Basher said.
"New Screen Name: Zeezle1219," was Linus Caldwell's contribution.
"Can I get a hoo ah for zombie apocalyptic mayhem?" Rusty Ryan asked.
JJ started to laugh very hard. Everyone gave him a look. They thought he was kind of annoying.
"Um… Give me back my pants!" he said, trying to make up for his stupidity.
Ocean's Eleven laughed.
"Bah!" Turk Malloy spazizzled.
They looked at him like he was coocoo for CoCoPuffs. Which he was. I mean, honestly, who isn't?
"Sorry," he apologized.
Rusty Ryan ate an ice cream cone. Little did he know, there was something else going on…
It smelled like buttery broccoli.
Dawn was in the very front of the donut circle around Will Turner and Anakin Skywalker. Hahahaha, Skywalker. What a weird name. Dawn laughed out loud.
Actually, all of Baruch was in the front of the crowd. They had caused the crowd. They saw that the object of their affection was doing something, so they absolutely needed to watch. Because they were so madly in love with him.
"You got it, Will!" Dawn cried. Woohoo.
"You got it, Anakin!" someone cried from the opposite side of the donut.
It was –GASP- Ginny and the Monotonous Girl with the Udders/MGU/Patricia "Patty" Pryor! They had started their own Club of Girls Who Have Very Big Crushes on Men Who Have Lightsaber Anaconda Things and Whose Names Are Anakin Skywalker Even Though George Lucas Wanted it to be Skykiller and Who Then Turn into Darth Vadar Who is Big and Dark and on Life Support. Or CGWHVBCMWHLATWNASETGLWSWTDVWBDLS for short. Or Mew Hat. Don't ask.
"Are you trying to mess with the almightly power of Baruch?" Paige Michaelchuck asked challengingly.
Ginny nodded, jutting her chin out.
"Well, it. Is. On." Dawn informed them. "Mark. My. Words. It. Is. On."
"On like the lights in the living room are on? I have no idea…" Ginny wondered aloud.
"No, it. Is. On, stupid," Hermione said. Then she jumped back and covered her mouth with her hand, realizing that she had just insulted her one and only true friend Ginevra Weasley! But then she remembered that she was stupid. And had ditched her to have a lesbian party with the MGU, Patty Pryor.
"Catfight!" Harry Potter screamed, diving into the ring and shoving Anakin and Will out of the way so that the girls could have a hot and sweaty catfight where they ripped each other's clothes off.
"Woohoo!" Ron cheered. "Except for the fact that my sister will be a part of it…"
They set up lawn chairs and leaned back as R2D2 and C3PO served them drinks.
"Thanks, ladies," Ron said, not realizing that he was receiving his drinks from two droids. He looked up. "Bloody hell! Go away! We want ladies!"
"Right away, sir," R2D2 said in his obnoxious echoey British voice.
Just as the girls were getting into the narsiest and most sexilicious part of their catfight (someone had created a mudpit for them to do their business in. Randy business, that is), Elanore Nash came over. Earlier, Ron and Ellie had had a long, long-lost cousin relative conversation, and Ellie discovered that she had a twang of magical twinginess in her juices! Now she was having fun playing around and making things –POOF- with her wand. That she found on the ground.
As she approached Ron and Harry on their lawn chairs, front row center of the mudpit, she flicked her wand and sent Ron's very alcoholic beverage spilling onto his magically toned chest.
"You WHORE!" he cried, jumping up menacingly and getting all up in her grill.
She threw a grill at him. He ducked and sat back down, magiking the alcohal away. He just sent the new bitches that R2D2 had retreived for him to go get him some more. Ron really had much less of a temper than he pretended he did.
Ellie ran away crying. Kathryn took her place.
"It is complete," she said, her eyes darting about the room, tapping her fingertips against each other right in front of her face, in a rather Mr. Burns from the Simpsons-like manner.
"Woo!" Harry cheered from his seat. His cheer was half directed toward a half naked Ginny and half directed toward a half insane Kathryn.
"I have the perfect blackmail for Rusty Ryan," she said with a slimy smirky smirk.
Harry licked his lips. Ron spat some alcohal into his cuspidor.
Kathryn pulled it out and showed them the blackmail. It was black. And mail. Chain mail. Ha, ha. They were giddy with delight!
Jay and Alex were sick of waiting. They decided that this was the opportune moment. The Author really likes the phrase "opportune moment". Thank you, Jack Sparrow.
"No problem," the car greasey pirate said with a wink.
Suddenly a lot of sand came out of the ceiling. Everyone stopped moving for quite some time. It wasn't because of the sand; they were just very confused. Who would make sand come out of the ceiling?
The answer to their thoughts were just around the corner, doubled over laughing in a gaggle of insane Alex and Jay. They thought sand from the ceiling was ingenious. Little did they know that all it did was scratch a lot of corneas, which is painful.
Luckily Madame Pomfrey knows a right quick charm for that.
Suddenly a ghost burst through the wall. Except ghost's can't really burst. Ghost in the machine.
"ARGHASDKFJALSIDUFLEKAJXSLDKJEIALAARGHHH!" it screamed menacingly.
The students blinked. The crickets chirped. The Brits played cricket.
"Right-o," Harry shimmied, his voice drowned out by the awkward silence.
"Who dares spill sand from the ceiling!" it asked. No one answered. "No, seriously." He huffed. "God, this would be so much easier if you all would just answer my questions and be afraid."
"Hey, look, it's Rick!" Emma realized dramatically.
"Rick the prick!"
Everyone was quiet again. Harry just wanted to join in. It was only Degrassi people who were yelling Rick. Because they were they only people who knew who the late Rick is. And they didn't quite know how to react.
"Where are the vile beginners of this fray?" Rick asked, attempting at menacing again, but only reaching pussy.
Everyone shrugged. It was a collective shrug. There was a collection pot going around. Harry smoked it.
Rick flew out the door and found Alex and Jay laughing on the other side.
"DKJFALSKDJFLAKSJDFLKAJSDLAAAAARRGHHHHHHHH!" he screamed in their faces.
Alex coughed. Jay blew his nose.
"DAMMIT! Why aren't I scary?" Rick cursed himself.
"Because you're Rick," Jay explainedddd.
"Yes, you're Rick," Alex concurred. Yo, ho, ho, I used it correctly!
"-COUGHRickthePrickCOUGH-" Jay medicined.
"Whatever. You guys are major douches to the maxIMUM and I came here to avenge my death. Clearly it's not working!" And with a huff and a puff and a blow the house down he disappeared.
A/N: I really feel like that wasn't very good… So please review and tell me what you think. Even if you say something negative. Thanks for your feedback! I'll give you an iPod if you review.