By: Thought

Disclaimer: No

A/N: I'm just generally depressed this weekend, and Beka's catching it, too.

A/N2: Does anyone know where I can find a Forever Knight/Andromeda crossover?! I really, really wanna read one aside from my pathetic little attempt.


Mirror mirror, where's the crystal palace?

But I only can see myself.

Skating around the truth who I am.

But I know, dad, the ice is getting thin.

(Tori Amos, Winter)

When the sobs finally come, they're dry and violent, shaking her delicate frame with unrelenting force as he watches from the doorway.


She doesn't answer, and he walks a little closer, still not yet ready to approach her.


She presses herself against the wall, as if trying to sink into its hard metallic surface. He knows what that feels like, to just want to disappear. He just never thought Beka could feel it. She has always been the strong one, the one to drag their butts out of life threatening situations even when it means risking her own life to do it.

He doesn't know what happened. Doesn't know if he wants to know. All he knows is that Dylan isn't to be trusted anymore, and that his best friend is standing in front of him more hurt than he's ever seen her, and he's scared out of his mind. There's still blood stains on her shirt, and no matter how much she tries to cover the red hand shaped bruise on her cheek he can still see it, clear as day.

She's wearing a long sleeved shirt that hangs over her slender, calloused hands and hides the scars he knows are still present on her wrists. It hides the double helix, too. He doesn't understand why she willingly puts herself through this, and he has decided that whatever it is, it just has to stop.

"We're leaving."

It takes him a moment to realize that she's spoken, and another for his brain to comprehend the words. When it does, he doesn't bother questioning her, just nods obediently.

"Go get Trance and Rev," she tells him, pushing herself away from the wall.


He turns, but before he can get out, she calls him back. It's a knife she pushes into his hands, stained with blood that he knows, automatically is hers.

"Just take this," she tells him. "Take it and get rid of it before I want it back."

He feels sick. "K."

This time, she lets him leave. He finds Rev right outside the Maru, waiting. "We're going," Harper tells the Maggog.

Rev merely nods. "I know."

After finding Trance, and leading her back to the little ship, he is surprised to see Tyr and Rommie onboard, as well. But he doesn't say anything.

And as the little ship pulls away from Andromeda and glides into slipstreem, he says 'good riddance' to that life. He never wants to go back there because he doesn't understand the big ship with its big captain and his big dreams. Everything makes more sense aboard the Maru. Everything, that is, besides Beka. He's seen the deep gashes on her back, knows that only boneblades could make that kind of mark. Yet it's Dylan that she shies away from, and Dylan who she's leaving now. But as he watches Tyr's hand drop possessively on her too thin shoulder, he's just not sure.