Bathroom Antics

Waiting outside the bathroom with a fluffy blue towel, a rubber ducky named Gregory, and a shower cap, Renji was pacing back and forth, irritated that the elitist bastard that was his captain, Kuchiki Byakuya, was taking SO DAMN LONG in the shower. It WAS a new shower, Renji reminded himself, so maybe Byakuya was having difficulties figuring out how to wor-

Did he just hear a moan coming from the bathroom?

Nah, not possible, it was just the tired vice-captain's imagi-

Okay, this time Renji KNEW he heard a moan. A really loud one. A really loud, I'm-in-an-erotic-moment-that's-too-hot-to-believe moan. And it was coming from the bathroom...

But only Byakuya was in the bathroom, right? RIGHT? Even though he WAS the captain and was probably a babe (and man) magnet, that didn't mean...oh man...


Kuchiki Byakuya was in heaven, total, mind-blowing heaven. "Oh yeah, that's it, oh yes," he said, shampooing his hair. He was definitely going to recommend this to the other captains. The super-new Dirt Reaper 4.5 Shower with four different kinds of water massagers and voice-activated heat control plus a TV inside the much better could it get?

Ohh...his favorite soap opera was on. No, was Claudia really going to have sex with Charlie's evil twin Victor? Couldn't she see it wasn't him? Too late. She was already getting down and dirty with Victor. Damn evil twins, thought Byakuya, as he rinsed out the shampoo.


Renji was hearing things that he really thought he shouldn't be hearing. Some woman was into there, and she was basically screaming/moaning/screwing her mind out, because she just yelled out, " Faster, harder, that's right, oh my god..." And then, this part Renji thought was the worst, he heard a MAN that WAS NOT Byakuya saying, "Give it to me baby" and other such things, all the while having Byakuya's screaming and what not melting into the noises.

It was a frikkin threesome and it was getting really dirty. This would be something that he was going to have difficulty telling the other vice-captains tomorrow at lunch...


Byakuya was getting the best massage of his life. The water hit right in between his shoulder-blades, right where he was feeling sore after a two hour training session. He couldn't help whimpering. It was the sexiest thing he knew, next to himself of course.

While replacing the vanilla and cinnamon scented body scrub, Byakuya noticed to digital clock in the shower. It was almost 1:00 PM? Uh oh, he had a captain weekly report to give in an hour. The captain quickly turned off the show (now Claudia was telling Charlie that she was having his baby) and wrapped a fluffy orange and pink striped towel around his very wet, red, and splochy (massage burn, Byakuya noted), muscled body. When he quickly opened the bathroom door, he saw his vice-captain Renji staring at him in a sort of dazed, traumatized way.

Inferiors. The audacity.

Byakuya strode majestically away, dripping and wrapped in his striped towel. Renji couldn't help but notice that he had some red marks on his back, and that he looked very tired.

Renji frankly didn't want to know what just happened.

But that was over now, and he jumped into the bathroom without a second thought. He was tired enough and dirty enough and traumatized enough to force himself to push the distrubing hot-sex-insane-orgasm sounds out of his mind. Before jumping into the shower, Renji marveled at the impressive technology that was just about to get him clean. This could be therapeutic, the best way to clear his mind.

Little did he know, fragile little vice-captain Hinamori was waiting outside for HER turn in the new shower, and from what she could gather, Renji was servicing a HAREM in there.