I have always loved the winter snowfalls; those big snowflakes which falls slow down on the streets and in the gardens and… just everywhere. They seem so unaware about this world and all evilness there are room for here; it is like the only thing they seem to care about is their mission; to fall.
I know there aren't many people, who have the same devotion in this as I, like my mother, she loves the rain during the spring and summer and the way it seems to wash away all problems in the world. With the childhood she had, I understand why it makes her so calm; in times like then you needed something where you could escape everything, like a shelter.
Me, I put my trust in the falling snow, because of all the happiness it has given me. It always seems to bring something good with it. Like that winter when mum stopped mourning the loss of dad, outloud at least, or when Joe proposed. I am almost sure that when it is time for us to have children, all of them will arrive a snowy winter day.
But, enough about that. I don't think it is good writing away my whole story about what's to come when what I wanted to tell you about was something in the past. It all happened six years ago, when I was 13 years and 7 months, and of course it was winter…
It was Christmas, and it hadn't fallen any snow at all yet to my concern (I have always been a worry-wart, just as my mother). It was meant that we, me, my mother and my twin brother James, was going to spend and celebrate the Christmas out in our manor with the whole Weasley family (maybe not completely all of them but, as aunt Ginny says; 'that's the problem with a big family, it's impossible to gather them all at one place at the same time').
We were altogether 29 persons; 17 children and 12 adults. Seven of us were studying at Hogwarts and we had been picked up by mum, Draco and Ginny on the morning of Christmas Eve in Fred's huge blue van.
I remember it all like yesterday, our trip from king's cross, how nervous I felt. I had changed a lot since the last time my mother had seen us; now I wore makeup (too much, which mum wasn't late to tell me, I am glad she did though, I really looked like a troll), I had both tried smoking and drinking firewhiskey and, maybe the thing that made me most nervous, I had a boyfriend; Joe, the son of George and Katie. I was not the same old Lily anymore; I stood in front of the door named Grownup and was more than eager to reach the handle so I could open the door and step in.
Mum, as I had known, noticed my change directly, not only by my makeup, with just one look in my eyes she could read me as easy as she read a book. We had a fight which not only involved her wanting me to wash away the makeup, but James almost telling her about me and Joe.
For the first time in both my and James lifes we visited dad's grave that day, probably it was aunt Ginny who had talked mum into it; at that time she always did. I felt such an unease being there, maybe it was because I knew dad wasn't really buried there since his body was never found, maybe it was because I was afraid how mum would react; get an attack thinking she saw dad as she did sometimes when I was younger. But the real reason of my unease I think was guilt, guilt that I had stopped care about him. Before I always used to sit up whole nights watching videos of him and mum they had filmed with grandpa's muggle-videocamera. Before I used to take his photo in my hands pretending he was there comforting me whenever I was sad and couldn't talk about it with mum and before I always used to ask mum to tell me about him even though I had heard it all million times before. It all had stopped that autumn, when my eager to grew up came.
James though, didn't stop caring about him. He had never been interested in the stories and videos about dad and he always seemed to loose his picture of him. But every week he lived in the footsteps of dad, everyone who had knew both of them always said comments about how James was his father's son, both in appearance and when it came to studying. And it doesn't stop there; James is Gryffindor's seeker, just as dad, and people says he is at least as good as dad was. I always thought it was so unfair; he could, without doing anything that wasn't him, be his father's son, when I couldn't even be my father's daughter with effort.
Those were the thoughts lingering on my mind that night, but at last I fell asleep and didn't wake up until James, even before the dawn, woke me up.
"Lils," He whispered over and over again and shook me. "Wake up, let's go down and look at our presents."
I turned around towards him with my eyes wide open. "Aren't we too old for doing that J.J?"
"I'm not, and if I know my history, I'm older than you, 6 minutes!" He said and raised his left eyebrow.
I followed his example with my eyebrow and sat up. "Well, maybe it's because you're a boy, J.J. They're a whole lot more childish."
"You know what Lils? You should be a stand up comics; you always say so funny things, stupid, but funny. Excuse me, who's the one here trying to be an adult just to impress on the older boys? Isn't that childish?"
"Sod off James!"
"Only if you come with me. Please Lily..?"
I sighed and rose, there was no point refusing, James always seemed to talk me into things I didn't wanted to do, a gift he had gotten from dad, of course. "Ok, let's go, but be quiet, we don't want to wake anybody up."
We crept out from the room and trough the corridor to the stairs where James stopped me with a mischievously look on his face.
"What are you up to now J.J? Nothing loud I hope?" I said with my arms crossed.
"You were going to step on the first step Lils! Don't you remember, every second step only? And don't tell me you're too old for that as well."
"I'm sorry, I'd forgotten."
We took each others hand and jumped down the stairs and we only stepped on every second step as we had decided when we were 5 that we always would do.
Downstairs it was warm and quiet, I remember me thinking that mum probably had put a spell on the fire making it burn whole night so it would be warm when we woke up. James pushed me in front of him trough rooms and to the living room where we both began to creep slowly in case of someone had fell asleep in the big room.
I think James and I caught them with our eyes at the same time, because we froze exactly next to each other. They sat at the table with her hands in his. I Remember how James strummed with his fingers in my palm; a way to communicate without words we had invented, also when we were five. "Who is he?" James now was asking me. He sat with his back at our direction and I couldn't see either who he was. The only thing I could say what that he wasn't any of those men being in our manor the day before; all of the Weasley men had flaming red hair, and Draco's were almost white. This man had raven black hair which was just as messy as James was and mine would if it was cut short.
"James, Lily…" Mum said, she sounded upset. "I-I..." She closed her eyes and buried her face in her hands; both I and my brother knew her voice had gone.
The man with the messy hair putted his hand on mum's head firmly and I knew by the way he moved I knew him, but I could still not put him anywhere. "Mione," He said with a voice which made me calmer than I've even been before. "It's ok, after so many years, I think it's my turn."
I think it was then all the pieces fell on their places, but not without confuse. The moves, I had seen them before, not only during nights on the TV, but also everyday in James moves. And the voice, it was the voice I used to pretend was real, with trusting words.
"No," I said, my eyes staring in the neck of the man. "It cannot be, no, but you are…"
He turned around, my eyes flew up to his forehead to confirm my believes. "No, I'm not dead." He said, smiling carefully.
My hand pressed James, who still was as confused as before. "James silly, it's our dad!"
"You know what Lils, you really should consider what I said about becoming a standup comic, it…"
"I don't know from whom you've inherited that stupidness, but you're indeed stupid right now. Look in his forehead if you don't believe me."
James eyes went the same way mine just had and seconds later he bit his bottom lip and raised both of his eyebrows. Dad, it still feels strange saying that, looked on us with happiness in his eyes. I knew he wanted to tell us what had happened to him, just by look in his eyes I could read him with such ease I read a book. I didn't need an explanation, not then, I felt that if he just embraced me, it would excuse thirteen years, six months and three days.
He read my eyes that early morning, just as mum always used to; he rose and walked to us, me and James, and pulled us in in an embrace none of us had ever felt before. It was the embrace of a father, loving his children more than anything.
That morning, the snow fell like it never had before.
Six years later I'm sitting here in the same room I met dad for the first time since I was one month old. I know he saved me, after that day, I didn't wear makeup anymore, I stopped smoking and I broke up with Joe, after all, he was the reason for my change like that. Dad taught me that the way to the grownup world was more than look like an adult on the outside, it was being it on the inside, in your mind, and that is nothing you can hurry on, it comes by itself.
Today, 19 years and 6 months old, I think I've finally reached the handle and am ready to step into the grownup world. There is six months until dad will lead me to the altar and give me away to Joe. Yes it's the same Joe I broke up to, who made me change, we got together again, but that is a whole different story.
I can see mum and dad outside when I look out the window, sometimes I wonder if they have become adults yet, but then I remember what dad told me about love; "Love will make the most mature person become a child again." And I smile.
Upstairs James are showing Molly, yes he finally managed to break trough Ginny and Draco's daughter's thick shell, how to play monopoly. They're laughing loud enough to make the voices to reach down here, maybe it is magic. He showed me the ring yesterday; it was so beautiful I almost lost my breath. He is so nervous but I really hope he gets the guts to ask her as he promised me he would.
Next to me in the armchair Joe sits, he is reading a book; Hogwarts: a history, I hope it wasn't me forcing him to do it; I am my mother's daughter after all.
No, wait a minute. If there is anything I am it is my parent's daughter, just as I am, a perfect mix-up,
Me, Lily Ginevra Hermione Potter