I crept slowly down the stairs and into the kitchen were the candles still gave the room light. The big cake which I had prepared the evening before stood on top of the oven with the pile of presents beside it. The presents were all wrapped up with paper in red and gold – the colours of Gryffindor. I couldn't remember when I started to do like that, probably it was when we graduated from Hogwarts giving each other goodbye-gifts and I wanted mine to be recognised. Now it was just a stupid habit. I waved with my wand towards the cake and the 22 candles on it light up. It was my special blueberry cake and I was both glad and frustrated that they loved it as much as he used to. It was a pain to bake it, even though I only had to do it once in a year. Once again I waved with the wand and the dancing couple came flying from my jewel case trough the air. I caught the figure and put it in the middle of the cake after I had kissed it. I remember how I had found it with a quick written note saying that we soon would be dancing again on his pillow when I woke up one morning. Our last morning, and I had missed it.If I could put you on top of a cake
I would ice you and keep you wrapped up in a box to be near you
If I could I would
I gathered the presents on a big tray and checked one more time that the labels were on their right places. The butterbeers I had bought on my way from work a week before were still icing cold and I put them on the trail with three glasses, spoons and plates. Then a familiar sound break trough the silent morning and I made my way to the hall were, as I had thought, a pile of letters lied on the door mat. I picked up the pile and quickly went trough the commercials and bills until I came to two old looking letters with a very, to me, familiar emblem on them. I smiled and thought that I maybe shouldn't have made such a big deal buying presents, this would anyways be the best in their eyes. I turned around and started to walk back to the kitchen but with my eyes still glued on the letters I bumped into the small chest of drawers causing the photo on it fall to the floor. Quickly I bent down to get it but stayed on the floor with the photo in my knee. He was laughing and waving lovingly towards me and I could here his voice in my head; "Come on honey, just give me your hands, I'll show the way. Don't be afraid." He had been wrong that day, I hadn't been afraid. How could I ever when he was there? I stroke my fingers over his lips while I gently raised up and went back to the kitchen were I put the letters and his photo on top of the presents.If I could touch you again with my fingers so gently
That day the photo was taken he had showed me up to a place by the pond were the stars was shining so strong it almost took the breath out of me. He had putted a heat charm on us so we wouldn't become ill in the December night and then we had just lied there all night, watching the stars and ultimately fall asleep in each others arms.If I could feel you breathing in time next to me
But now the silence surrounds me
I waved my wand and made the trail and cake float in the air in front of me and started walk up the stairs while thinking of him. How many times hadn't I regret sitting up half that last night reading? If I hadn't I would have woked up earlier that morning, with him. It wasn't his fault; he had done everything he could to make me finish up reading for that night. He had tried to distract me with stories of him riding buckbeat or his broom all the way to the moon where I was, waiting for him. And then, in his story, we had danced. Danced until our legs couldn't bear us anymore and we felled all the way down to earth and our bed. I had just laughed at him then and shoved him off until he finally gave up and wished me goodnight. Stupid me, I just had mumbled something in his way and then had got back to my stupid book.
Flashing memories of you riding with the moon that nightI never had the chance to say goodbye, goodbye
Their blue door was half open and I suspected two marauders had been down in the kitchen earlier. I pushed it wide open and started to sing the birthday song and watched two tired heads pop up from the beds. I waved down the cake and trail on the floor in the middle of the room and watched the twins tiredly rub their eyes and glide down on the floor.
"Congratulations little angels, you're eleven." I said and wiped a tear from my eye, it had all gone so fast and soon they too would fly away. Now the two got their eyes on the letters and took them shaking.
"Mum, is this…" my daughter asked.
"Oh you stupid, of course it is!" her brother snapped and tore the letter open.
"Mum, J.J called me stupid!"
"Stop now, both of you. It's your birthday and you're going to be nice to each other." I told them and sighed, principal Mcgonagall got a real challenge in these two. "It will be empty without you angels."
"Oh mum, don't be sad… we will come home every vacation and we will write you, as often as we can." The two looked at me and I sat down between them a little happier and encouraged them to open the rest of the presents. My son took the present on top of the pile but when he did, the photo flew down and landed in my knee.
"Mum," He said. "Why is the photo of dad here?"
"I just thought, since he is your father, he should be with us this day."
"Mum, you hadn't had to do that. He is gone, but will always be with us, inside us."
Lost forever lost to another world gone forever but remembered in our thoughts you are
I was amazed by my children's way of always saying things that a person in my age wouldn't even think of. I think they've owned it from him, their father. He always said things no one else would. My eyes were filled with tears and I putted my arms around my children and took them in in an embrace. They had always smelled as he used to.
If I could open the heavens above I'd be with you
If I could hold you again in my arms I would tell you that I love you
"I love you," I said and then let go of them. "I hope you dance little angels, because I didn't, and when I woke up it was too late."