Welcome to Jason's Pond, my not-another-teen-drama story with laughs, tears, and pointless squabbles (accurate, yes?). I decided to take a short break from the drama/romance scene (I'll be back, don't worry), and try my hand at comedy. I've been writing this particular story for more than a week in a notebook for my friends to read; they've been making me write a chapter every day since. xD

Anyway, enjoy the story, and here's a nice, bold disclaimer to throw in so I don't get my ass sued.: THE PEOPLE IN THE FOLLOWING STORY ARE REAL BUT HAVE GIVEN THE AUTHOR PERMISSION TO USE THEIR NAMES. -Jason

PS- Stories are in my (Jason's) point of view.

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Jason's Pond (Episode 1: Welcome to the Pond)

cue theme music (Ready Steady Go! By L'ArcEnCiel), pan shot of the entire cast


Jason: The sappy realist.

Mike: The Asian DDR freak.

Scott: Pepsi-powered sugarholic

Raven: Desperate, goth girl just trying to fit in.

Beast Boy: Class clown-with-a-hidden-secret-that-we'll-never-find-out-who-is-trying-to fill-an-empty-void-in-his-heart.

Robin: Typical, snobby "closet gay" jock.

Cyborg: Um, Robin's whore.

Starfire: Ditzy, popular girl.

Alex Nye: has a website named after him.

Aaron: that guy

Rob: that other guy.

Julian: that other, other guy.

Katie: "Get me out of this story!"

scene, Folsom High School, 7:42 am

Jason, Raven, Beast Boy, Katie and Starfire are waiting… for something to happen.

"Wow, I can tell this day is gonna suck. Every day sucks," Raven sighed, looking at the gray, misty sky. "God, you're always so negative. Lighten up!" Beast Boy said, giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl.

"Both of you shut it! I have a headache," I moaned, clutching my forehead. Starfire looked worried then suddenly had a smile on her face. "Don't fight guys! Here, try some of my pudding," she smiled, pulling out a bowl of purple-looking pudding.

"Who in the hell brings a bowl of pudding to school?" Beast Boy said, a puzzled look on his face. 'You're so hurtful!" Starfire screamed, throwing the bowl on top of his head, then prancing off. I took a finger and swiped it across Beast Boy, tasting it. "Mmm, it's a like bubbly strawberry/raspberry," I noted…

scene, Chemistry Class, 10:10am

"Omigod! You poor thing!" our teacher yelled as Beast Boy and I walked into the classroom. "What?" Beast Boy asked, annoyed. "You have a skin disorder!" "Um, no. Really. This is just how I am…" he said, rubbing his mint green-colored arm. Too late; our teacher was now sobbing. The rest of the kids surrounded us and started to cry, telling Beast Boy how brave he was. "Crazy CENSOREDers!" he screamed, running out of the classroom. It was a shame he forgot the stairs were there, and I heard him tumble down the whole length. 'Ugh, screw this," I said, banging my head against the desk, falling asleep…

scene, Auditorium stage, Lunch

"Hey everyone," Beast Boy said, wheeling up in a warped wheelchair. "Ouch," piped Scott, "fall much?" "No! … yes."

Suddenly, especially right at the wrong moment, Robin and Cyborg walked up, laughing about something that probably had no meaning whatsoever. "Hey losers! What's up?" Robin grinned evilly. "Go away, CENSOREDtard. No likes you, and you have no friends," Raven looked at him, eyes burning with rage. "Ooooh, frisky, are we?" Robin laughed, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You shouldn't have done that," she said, smiling, then grabbed Robin's hand, throwing the weakling to his knees. Robin started to cry and scream. "Awww, don't cry. I'm sure you've been in this position many, many times before." She twisted his arm and he screamed louder. "Say "I'm a bitch, Raven. I'm a little bitch."" Robin was crying very hard now and shook his head. "I'm a little bitch, Raven. Waaaaaaa!" Raven let go and the Boy Blunder ran up to Cyborg, hugging him. The two ran away like frightened schoolgirls, sobbing.

"Damn Raven," I said, wide-eyed. The girl sat down and began to read her book. "I'm done for the day." Beast Boy looked around, confused, then broke out his new Ipod Shuffle. "Where'd you get that?" I asked him. "Oh, the same place I get all my toys and such- the internet." He put on his headphones and began to groove, dancing around the stage. "I knew I shouldn't have given him those damn anime soundtracks," Mike said, shaking his head. "Fukitonde yuku fukei korugaru you ni mae e. Kurushi magure demo hyouteki wa mou minogasanai. Ate ni naranai chizu yakute shimaeba ii sa. Uzumoreta shinjitsu kono tenohira de tsukami torouuuuu..." sang Beast Boy, playing air guitar.

We all moaned, then laughed, you know, a whole-hearted fake laugh. The sun caressed our long, perfect locks of hair, fluttering in a pleasant breeze. We looked at the afternoon sun, feeling the warmth of friendship and love. "Owww, it burnssss!" I screamed, clutching my face...

Next time on Jason's Pond: Tensions flare as everybody picks who they want for the school dance. Hearts will break, tears will flow, and that damn ketchup bottle still won't open. See you soon!