Wow, I have writing again! It's miracle! xD
So, I'm back and ready to redeem myself, and I'd like to thank you, my loyal fans, for being just awesome. This is the last episode for the season, which gives Season 1 eight episodes. Not bad, and Season 2 shall be on its way before you know it!
Anyway, let's get it on!
No, not in that way, you sick perv. xD
Chapter 8: Sugar, We're Going Strong
After the Joan Rivers incident, a lot of us had to start therapy because just remembering her botoxed evilness gave us serious nightmares. Not to mention, we had been skipping off into the same sunset for over two months.
"I'm so…hungry…and…tired," Beast Boy said, still trying to skip despite the fact that both his legs were broken. "I think we can stop now," I said, coming to a halt. The other Titans sobbed in relief and shouted to heavens. "You guys are such whiners," I said, smelling myself. "Oof! I reek! Shower time."
One shower, hospital visit and a trip to Taco Bell later…
"Well, we have to go back to school on Monday, and I'll be a senior. So, what you guys suggest we do to redeem the last days of summer vacation?" I asked.
"I think we should join a cult," Raven said, grinning evilly.
"Ooooh, no, remember what happened last time?" I asked cautiously.
"…Now, nibble on the goat's neck and chant the song of Bloodreign!" the hooded figure shouted.
"You know, that sounds really fun, but maybe we could just order out instead? I have a coupon," I said, waving it.
"No, you must fulfill the duties!"
"Get him!" the figure said, the two other cult members came running toward us. It was then I noticed that the two figures were none other than the two guys from Wham!
"Ah, this is where the washed-up groups go," I said, scratching my chin…
"Hmm, we could go see what Cyborg and Robin are up to," Beast Boy suggested. I looked at him for a moment then backhanded him. "Get your sense back?"
"Yeah, thanks," he said, rubbing his cheek.
"What about a trip to my favorite café?" Raven suggested once more.
"…so, like, that's why I hate life. God, I wish I were dead. Dead and gone…" the emo boy sighed.
"Worst story ever!" I exclaimed, stabbing him in the eye.
"Nope. No thanks," I said. Just then, screams echoed through the street, most likely someone finding one of my stories on the ground, or maybe it was something else.
The three of us ran to the source of the screams and found singer David Bowie on the ground, rolling in pain.
"What's wrong, singer David Bowie?" I asked, helping him to his feet. "I'm not sure, I think someone attacked me."
"Who do you think it was?"
"Look, I don't know, kid. Obviously if I knew-"
We threw David Bowie to the ground and continued looking for the REAL trouble…
"Dr. Pepper! Get your ice cold Dr. Pepper here!" a vendor shouted on Blue Ravine Road, waving a bottle of the delicious nectar. I blinked slowly, and charged full speed to where the vendor was standing. "Hello son…wanna buy a Dr. Pepper?"
"Would I be standing here if I didn't? Gosh, friggin' idiot," I said, rolling my eyes.
"Alright, that will be five bucks kid."
I looked at the old man incredously, then in a swift motion, snapped his neck. As the man fell to the ground, I sighed. "Yeah, sorry, nothing personal. I just forgot my wallet."
Beast Boy and Raven were making out like no tomorrow. "You guys, I was only gone for like 4 minutes. Geez." The two Titans broke their kiss and followed me to my car, which I left parked in a lot over four months. "Well, at least I remembered this time," I said, sweat-dropping. We piled into the Accord and I started the engine, feeling strangely at peace. "Guys, I think we should just go to a park and watch the clouds go by…"
Beast Boy and Raven looked at each other, utter horror stamped on their faces. "Jason, what the fuck's wrong with you?" Raven screamed, curling up into a ball.
"I know what's wrong!" Beast Boy said, fear in his voice. "Jason's fallen victim of the Dog Days of Summer!" I just laughed and felt like donating sweaters to charity.
"Quick! Think of something!" Raven cried. Beast Boy hesitated, then suddenly went blank, a small smile creeping to his face. "Yeah, a trip to the park sounds very nice."
Raven screamed in agony.
With a smile still on my face, I cranked up my favorite band. "Summertime, and livin's easyyy…" Beast Boy and I sang, feeling the groove to Sublime's awesome reggae sound.
The Accord rumbled into the sunset…
No, really, I'm sick of sunsets…
The Accord rumbled into the concrete jungle that was Downtown Folsom. There, end.
(record scratch noise)
"Wait, whatever happened to Starfire?" I asked curiously…
"Wooo! Take it off baby!" a drunken hobo named Cassandra yelled, raising his fists. Starfire wrapped herself around the pole and giggled.
So, that concludes Season 1. Did you enjoy it? Too bad, there's more. Season 2 coming soon! -Jason