Author's Notes: Well here's number seven folks. Hope you like it. Legal junk: NO I don't own the TF's. YES this is just for entertainment only. No I dont own the song this was inspiered by either.
She Thinks She Needs Me: Part 1
It's been more than a few days since the last fiasco with the Decepticons. I would like to tell you that things have settled down for those of us here at the ark, but the truth of the matter is they seem to be escalating the war again, not cooling off. Of all things that I should be doing right now, sitting here mooning over someone is the last thing on my list. Still I can't seem to help my self. Nor can I seem to get over how much my life seems to have changed in the short time since that night on that wet Kentucky highway.
I don't like to think about how differently things could have happened that night. Things could have very easily gone the other way. I would like to think some one else would have gotten there in time, but the fact of the matter is, if she hadn't come along right when she did, I'd be dead right now. I'd be dead, and chances are the Decepticons would have won.
Which leads me back to something else again; something that despite everything I've seen and learned in these past few weeks still eludes my ability to process it. I don't understand what exactly it was I did to deserve some one like her to come to my rescue. This wonderful, exasperating, strong, beautiful and incredible girl, that's all of those things, but still perfectly human at the same time. Someone who came into my life and pretty much turned it upside down and then turned me every which way but loose.
She didn't have to help me that night she didn't even have to stop. She did though, and even as a disembodied spark I was drawn to her. What I didn't expect that night though was for her to accept me. Even if it was only in her subconscious I would never have been able to pull what I did that night. Even now I wish there had been some other way. Doing what I did hurt her badly, getting her involved in this war of mine wasn't something I intended either.
Most of all however I never thought that she would fall in love with me in return. That's right, I was in love with her from almost the moment she rescued me that night. I believe its something humans call love at first sight. It's also something that I would never have believed was possible. There had been a hole in my spark for a very long time, leavening cybertron to find another source of power not only cost my home, but it also cost me the woman I loved. I had believed that I would never find any one again that could make me feel that way. That could make me believe that this universe was something worth saving in the long run. I'll admit, there are times when even the great Optimus Prime dose loose hope.
I suppose I had that night on the road, I think I may have been as ready to cross into the matrix as I ever was. She changed all of that. Every day I see My Angel now, it's like Primus him self has told me that there's a reason to go on. That in the end the existences that we save, the war that we fight is worth something.
I suppose now I'm just being sentimental and silly, but I can't seem to help my self as of late. There will be times when for no reason at all I catch my self sitting here just watching her. Granted she's not perfect, but then again who is? No My Angel is all too human, and I think that's what makes her special to me. She's a perfect example to all of those around me why, in all the years that we've been on this world, I've found my self coming to care for its people. She's not governed by any set programming, she's wasn't made by any one somewhere, nor given any set of directives that say, how to act in this or that given situation. But she will still do the right thing even if it costs her, her life. She was willing to put her life on the line for me, then for her town, and then again for me when we got back here. I've seen a lot of people try to stand up to Megatron, very few of them have ever been human. There is something in side this soft little femme that is diamond hard.
And that's the remarkable thing, she doesn't realize it. She doesn't know that she's got this incredible power inside of her. Something that makes her a match for even someone like me.
Then she catches me watching her and her mouth splits in that crooked grin of hers. We were both in the lounge right then, her on the other side on one of the human sized couches.
"What's with the stares Op," She asks, "Something on your mind?"
I can't help but laugh at her a bit, "No, nothing special." I answer, "Just thinking."
The grin goes up a notch and she shuts her lap top, "Thinking about what?"
"How much my life has changed," I shut my own personal computer and go to where she's sitting, Once again grateful to my engineers for the transmat modifications.
She sits the thing on the table and leans over to me nothing too deep at the moment, just what human's call a hug.
She laughs a bit her self, "You know, I never could make a relationship work before I met you. I guess I really was holding out for something special."
I put my own arms around her and can't help but be baffled at this once again. How can some one like her have not ever had any good relationships? Every one around here marvels at what a wonderful person she is. Any one of them would happily take my place if I wasn't so deeply in love with her that it's pathetic. Are the human males on this world really that ignorant? No, I don't think so, perhaps she's right and she was just waiting for what she knew she would one day find. Honestly I don't know.
I would like to say that this moment of peace lasted for a long time, but this is the middle of a war and peace is at a premium. Just as the two of us start getting comfortable the alarms go off alerting us that someone some where has decided to cause more problems.
Angel lets go of me with a put upon sigh and I stand up, taking my proper size as I do. I head out to the command center and she follows, hanging back a bit and staring at the couch. I know what she's thinking. That our time alone has once again been cut into by this war, that once again reality has come crashing down on us trying to keep us apart.
She's right in a way, but she also accepts what I am and isn't trying to change it. Just that she would be happier if we had found each other when there could be peace. She gives the lounge one last look and then follows me out.
Just like that then the giggling coy girl that I was with less than five seconds ago disappears. In her place now is this woman who's following me into the command center with the intention to not only witness this war of mine, but to help me fight it. The intention to protect her world and the people she loves from anything that would cause them harm.
She told me when we first met, and I found out it was true when I met the man my self, that her father was an ex drill sergeant. I can see some of that fire in her, the warriors spark is there. She's a fighter right down to her core and nothing can ever change that. Which goes right back to proving my point of how incredible My Angel is. Of course if I had my way, she'd be as far away from any of the battles as possible. It wouldn't take much to injure her or even kill her. But she's not afraid, or rather than that, she's angry enough that it over comes her fear. She has told me on several occasions that she's not a brave person. That there are just things that she believes in and that she will not tolerate any of those being compromised in any way.
I think she's brave though, and I will stick by that statement until the day that my spark goes out. She marches along side me to the command center some how managing to keep up with me. I found out that if I slowed my self down to try and keep even with her, she will wind up out running me. Brave she may be, but patient she's not. So even walking at my normal pace she manages to keep up with me just fine as we make it into the command center.
Prowl's already there waiting for me and has the monitor all keyed up. I have to snap my self out of my reverie about her for the moment and get down to business. Being the leader of the Autobots doesn't stop for any thing, not even love. Chances are though I will probably get lost in my thoughts again once this is sorted out. After all, isn't that what being in love is about?