Note: This is my first attempt at a completely unreasonable impossible fanfic. It stars Hermione, and I understand that a lot of this will be stupidly silly. Oh, well, it's the thought that counts (or lack thereof).

Chapter 1

Hermione shut both of her closet doors tightly and turned to the racks of clothes. Behind a group of Hogwarts robes, she came to an ice rink blue painted wall. At about knee level was a makeshift desk (a shelving unit turned on its side) upon which sat a few books, her wand, various quills and parchment, and of course, her laptop.

She flipped the power switch on the side and heard the quiet hum of her hard drive booting up. Hermione was quite proud of her little black laptop. Sleek and understated, it was perfectly suited for her. It was light-weight and very thin and sported cd-rom and floppy disk drives. The computer had been a gift from her parents after she'd earned top marks on al her O.W.L.s. Hermione smiled as the tinkling noise told her that the computer was finished booting.

Hermione slid her finger across the flat pad which controlled the cursor. The tiny arrow flitted across the screen mimicking her finger's movements until it rested on an icon. She double-clicked a button and the icon lit up, opening her wireless internet hook-up. After a minute of screeching noises, she was connected.

A tiny monkey flitted across the screen, asking her if she wanted to win a new computer. She closed out its window and opened her e-mail inbox. She had two new messages. The first was a VISA card advert and the second was from Ppgsthewsl.

Hermione grinned as she saw Ginny's screen-name. Clicking the link, Hermione remembered when she'd set up the account for Gin and had to explain what 'Pop goes the weasel' meant. Hermione loved the play on words (weasel-Weasley).

The e-mail read:
To: PattyCakeOtter

Hey Hermione!

Two weeks into break and Ron's gone to London to stay with Fred and George for a bit. Miss you loads already!! Found a chat site where we can chat until I get my messenger to work on this dang machine. The link is below. Let's meet around 4? In room: Hogwarts. That way we won't be interrupted by muggles. TTYL,
Ginny

Hermione checked her watch: 3:22. She had a little over a half hour, but she wanted to check out the site and make sure it was safe. They'd be in deep trouble8 if any muggles intruded.

She clicked the link and went to the room Ginny had prescribed. The site was quite advanced, boasting "private rooms." The possibilities for chat were endless. You could change your font, colour, size, even highlight your text. There was a menu for smilies and even noises to go along with your messages. Hermione laughed out loud when she saw the tiny witch hat on one of the smilies. Then, the site made a pinging noise that told her a new member was entering the room. She expected to see Ppgsthewsl appear underneath PattyCakeOtter, but instead a strange name appeared: JaketheSnake...