Summary: Remus Lupin, psychology protégée extraordinaire, is twenty three and one of the greatest psychologists known to the UK. But when his best friend James Potter introduces Remus to the infamously incurable Sirius Black, has Remus finally met his match?

Warnings: This is rated for slash, Sirius' filthy mouth wink, and for the horror of delving deeper into Sirius mind. Oh yes, in this story Sirius is one seriously twisted son of a bitch! So if this bothers you don't read, but of course what's a fluff story without a little bit o' humor…in my case a lot.

Disclaimer: Insert witty disclaimer here

Remus Lupin, lay sprawled over his bed snoring softly. He was curled around a long white pillow, with his golden silky waves spilling onto it. In the sunlight streaming in from the window at the top of his bed hit his golden hair, creating crimson highlights and amber low lights.

His room, was perfectly neat with a solid dark hard wood floor. His clothes were either neatly hung up in his closet for folded in the amber dresser on the wall away from his bed. His lap top was sitting on the small table in the corner. Sitting on the desk was a simple desk lamp.

His bed was a simple box spring with a mattress on top, all decked in white save for two red velvet pillows. Next to it was a small night stand with a plain white phone with a cordless phone and a cordless head set.

The only decoration in the room was a picture of him, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Lily Evans, his four best friends. The picture had been taken just last year when they went on vacation to Hawaii.

Lily had a little purple flower tucked behind her ear, and had a slight blush to her cheeks because James's arm was around her shoulders, the other one was around Remus'. People said Remus should smile more often, well this was one of the few pictures where Remus actually was smiling. Peter was making an overly serious face and flashing the camera a peace sign.

The phone started to ring loudly, interrupting the man's dreams. Remus was a light sleeper, and usually he didn't get more then five hours of sleep. His eyes fluttered open easily, revealing fully opened molten amber pools.

He reached out and lifted the phone of the receiver while rolling onto his back. "Hello, Remus Lupin of the Black Psychiatric Center speaking, how may I help you?"

"Nice speech, Rem." James snickered from the other line.

"Oh shut up, James," The blonde yawned and glanced at his clock. "It's 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning, James." He drawled, "What's this emergency?"

"No, Remus it's serious this time. Peter has an eight thirty that he can't make, do you think you can come in?"

"This is the third time this week Peter's missed an appointment!" Remus scowled. He stepped out of bed and lifted up the headset from the night table and flicked it on. He walked over to his dark brown closet doors and flicked them opened, he started browsing through a selection of slacks and dress shirts. "James you don't sound so good."

"Well I'm not! The Blacks set me up with their son!"

Remus was not easily shocked, but this rattled him. The Black Psychiatric Center was one of the most advanced psychology centers in the UK. It was run, of course, by the rich, famous, and popular family Black. The Blacks were a social bunch, very open minded and extremely liberal. They were very into peace and helping people, and very into adoption. They had now, five adopted children. Despite all of the controversy around the Black family they managed to offend no one, and own 67.2 of the UK.

Remus worked for the Black family personally, they came to him for advice and were fond of both him and James, Peter's employment at the Black Center was mostly for show.

"Oh…like Jason or Fred?" Remus asked nervously, naming the Black two youngest sons. Jason was five and Fred was a surprisingly mature and intelligent thirteen year old. The Blacks liked to send their adopted children immedietly into therapy to ensure they were as happy as possible.

Personally Remus disagreed with the Black's plan of ultra perfection therapy. They didn't mean for the therapy to uniform their children, or change them. But sadly it ended up destroying the child's world view, leaving the psychologist to entirely put it back together.

"No, Remus. I mean Sirius! They've been setting me up with him for three weeks now, every day!" James nearly yelled.

"Sirius Black!" Remus asked again. "Your great at what you do James, but why in god's name would they put that nut case with you!"

The Black's first adopted child was Sirius Black. Sirius came from Ireland, an orphanage infamous for sexual and mental abuse of children. The Blacks were immediately taken with his odd charm and charisma. Rumor has it that Sirius spent all his time sitting on the window sill, just watching. The blacks were there for an open house of sorts, and saw Sirius, just curled up on the window sill, starring at the rain.

They adopted Sirius at thirteen, knowing he was diagnosed as a 'disturbed' child. Sirius' displays of suicide and violence didn't manifest until Sirius was nineteen. That was all Remus knew about Sirius Black, save from the office word. Sirius was rumored to be incurably disturbed, he lashed out at psychologists, pretend to hear voices, he basically did everything other then try and cooperate.

"James seriously are you alright?" Remus asked worried for his friend. Sirius was not only self destructive, but he had a destructive effect on all who came in close contact with him, one of the psychologists who worked with Sirius actually committed suicide. He yanked a pair of black slacks and a white shirt out of the closet and then noticed the pants had a white large white splotch on the back. "Damn!"


"I must have washed my pants wrong!" Remus growled, as he sifted through his slacks he noticed white blotches.

"White splotches?" '


"You probably added bleach." James said solemnly.

"Of course, I need them for my lighter…..Oh." Remus scowled. His tan slacks were now an unattractive grayish brown. "Great." He walked a few steps over to his dresser and opened the bottom draw, which was filled with light colored jeans. "How formal is this client?"

"Not very, You know that guy Snape?"

"Oh yeah! Peter said he had a suicide problem and self conscious issues?" Remus asked as he yanked on his jeans. He slipped a white dress shirt on. "Okay I'll see you in Hell." They'd affectionately named the Black Center Hell because of it's less then charming clients and the very odd line of work. He dropped the headset on the night stand and strode calmly out of the room.

Five minutes later Remus was in the front hall, slipping on his shoes and a yellow rain coat. He walked into the elevator hall and clicked the down button. His apartment was on the tenth floor of a stylish London Flat, just a few minutes from the Black Center.

When he got downstairs he noticed all to quickly that it was raining hard outside. Cursing Remus put up the bright yellow hood and prepared to sprint all the way to Hell.

Ten minutes later, a soaked Remus Lupin slipped in the sliding doors to an attractive granite room, with a single sleeping guard sitting by the elevator. Remus hit the elevator button and slipped inside the polished silver contraption.

The elevator led to both sections of the Center. The front wing was all libraries, computer rooms, there actually were several bedrooms here as well. The front wing was on the forward panel.

But the actual center was on the panel nearest the wall. Remus hit the star button and the elevator jerked up. The back doors opened, revealing a dark granite room, and on the far wall was a round desk that was situated between two halls. On the side of the room were couches where a patient could wait before being sent into a wing set of rooms where they'd meet their therapist.

The Black Center was very confusing, but basically a patient would come to the lobby, check in with Lily and wait out here until the appointment was confirmed or if you were a frequent patent you would be whisked to a wing. There were four wings, this room led to all four. There was the main wing, where average cases were treated, an A wing, a B wing, and then there was the C wing. The A and B wings were on either side of the back garden that was the center of the Black Center, but the C wing was for mentally unstable or dangerous patients it was also the criminal psychology wing.

So a patient waited in the main wing Lobby until Lily confirmed their appointment until they were sent to either the A or B wing. Both wings had waiting rooms that let into the separate offices.

"Morning Lily!" Remus called out.

"Remus! Oh thank god you're here! Peter can't make his eight thirty with Mr. Snape, can you take him?"

"Course, when will James be free to talk, love?"

Lily double clicked on her computer screen and scanned it quickly. "Lunch."

"Great tell him to come see my in my office."

"Sure Rem."

"So where's Snape?" Remus asked.

"Sent him to your room." Lily said quickly before picking up the phone. "Hello this is Black Psychiatric Center, Lily Evan's speaking, how may I help you?"

Remus waltzed down the left hall, stretching his arms. He was heading toward the B wing, where his office was located. He reached the door at the end of the small hall labeled B-waiting room and slipped inside. This room was outfitted with tan suede couches and comforting cream walls. Remus brushed past the waiting room and into the hall way. His office was room B-13.

He opened the wood door and peeked inside briefly before stepping in. Sitting on the lounge was Severus Snape, reading a magazine. "Morning Mr. Snape? Doing well today?"

"Not really."

Oh joy. Remus thought wearily. He grabbed a pen and his note book from his desk before settling into the comfortable small leather couch. "Well what seems to be the problem Mr. Snape, may I call you Severus?"

The man shrugged. "Well today it's my girlfriend."

"Can you give me some back ground?" Remus asked politely.

"We've been going out for two years, but she's starting to get distant…and I am to. I'm really not sure what to do."

Remus heard the first hint of emotion in the man's voice. "Severus, I think your asking the wrong type of doctor, have you tried a relationship therapist?"

"Yes, and they say the same old crap. Just talk to her and shower her with love." Snape hissed. "That hasn't worked. It started last month. See she was starting to go out with her girlfriends a lot more, and whenever I try to talk to her she either brushes me off or says, look sev you've been so distant lately I can hardly talk to you anymore!"

"Well." Remus sighed. "Look your really asking the wrong guy, but I think you feel she's rejecting you?"


"But you feel she started this a month ago by spending more time with her friends?"


"Well maybe, she thinks you've been distant and she's insecure about it."

"So I'm wrong?" Snapes voice was slightly aggravated.

"No, no. Neither of you is wrong, your just having problems communicating, how's your job Severus?"

"Bad, I work at an insurance company, I'm thinking of becoming a poet or something though. See we first fell in love because of my poetry." Snape said sheepishly.

"Well. Your nervous and a little rattled about your job, and your holding thi tension inside yourself. Your girlfriend must have noticed this and thought maybe you were mad with her, or needed time on your own. She thought you were being distant with her. But it's all just a miscommunication. You actually needed to talk to her about your job, and she thought you were mad or didn't want to talk about it.

"So I think you need to tell her firmly we need to talk. Have you tried that?"

"No…I told her that I just thought we weren't talking as much, she got nervous and scampered off."

"Well that's what a woman does, she will grab you by the arm and say I don't think we're talking enough!" Remus grinned. "So have you only talked to women about this issue?"

"It's impossible to find male relationship therapists." Snape said rolling his eyes. "But I need to be more clear?"

"It's more you need to be a little firmer and more to the point. Sit down on a nice couch and comfort her by saying you didn't to anything wrong and I love you. She'll feel better, then try asking her if she feels you've been distant. She'll probably say yes, so then just let the conversation flow, explain about your job and that you needed to talk to her about it. Explain it wasn't her fault, she misread the signs you were giving off. Then explain you felt rejected by her." Remus explained. "Making sense?"

"Yeah…" Snape smiled. "That makes a lot of sense. I'm sorry for bothering you so early."

"It's not a problem," Remus said with a smile. He led Snape to the door, very pleased with the transformation in this man, talking with patients made them feel so much better. "So what are you going to do?"

"Tell her firmly that we need to talk and that is was a miscommunication, and explain my job issue!" Snape said, sounding very pleased. "Thanks, Lupin. I'll be back later this week, I've got another appointment on Tuesday, but I'll switch it from Pettigrew to you."

"Alright," Remus was polite, but he wanted this guy out! "Have a nice day Severus."

"Thank you." The other man said before leaving.

Remus closed the door and actually fell onto the lounge himself. "Dear Lord!" Then his phone rung. "Remus Lupin Black Psychiatric Center," he sighed.


"James goddamit, what the hell do you want!"

"Hat to be the bringer of bad news Remy, but the Blacks just called. They said they appreciate my efforts on Sirius, but there's been no change, so I'm free from him!"

"How is that bad news?"

"Well….He's kind of being dumped on you."

"WHAT!" Remus yelled into the receiver, on the other line, in his office, James set the phone down on his desk and did paper work patiently until his friend was done screaming.

"Quite done?"

"Damn you." Remus hissed. "When's he coming?"


"NOW!" Remus launched into another fit and James again set down the phone. There was a loud knock on Remus' door. "Damn you James."

"Love you to Remy!"

"Burn!" Remus snarled slamming the phone down on it's cradle. Remus reclined in his crimson office chair and sighed, rubbing his temples. He put on a pleasant smile and opened the door, whatever pleasantries he was about to exchange with Sirius Black were quickly eradicated from his mind.

Standing in the door, leaning on the frame was a tall body, about 5'11 with long dark choppy locks that just brushed below his shoulder. The hair was silky and ink black, highlighted with a natural sleek blue. His eyes were startling shades electric blues, swirling and glowing in his head like pools of choppy water.

Remus was small, only 5'8" and being next to Sirius Black made him feel even smaller. Sirius' face was gorgeous, as well as his lean body, outfitted in dark black jeans and a casual dark button down blue shirt. The sleeves were rolled up, revealing a tattoo around his wrist of barbed wire and long fingers.

"Remus Lupin?" He asked.

Remus could only nod dumbly and gesture him to the couch. "Couch?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Sure…."

Remus sat down on the small couch. "So…Mr. Black, pleasure to finally meet you."

"Cut the crap." The ebony haired man from his couch snapped. "Who the hell are you and why are you any better?"

"I'm Remus Lupin, I graduated from-"

"Screw it I don't care." Sirius cut him off. "How old are you anyway?"

"Twenty three?" Remus half asked.

Sirius laughed. "What and I'm supposed to listen to a little man like you?"

Remus attempted a polite smile. "I'm sorry I'm not older and more impressive looking, but I'm afraid you just going to have to cooperate with me."

"It's not that your not impressive looking." Sirius leered suggestively. "But I'm twenty five, so, forgive me if it's hard to take you seriously."

Sirius Black roused up old issues inside of Remus. Ever since he started being the controversial thinker he was at the age of thirteen no one had taken Remus seriously, least of all his own parents. Of course they were so proud of their 'baby' when he became famous. Remus was also sick of not being taken seriously because he was pretty, it got annoying to have patients hitting on him after the first ten thousand times! Remus took a deep breath and smiled mechanically. "So Sirius, what would you like to talk about?"

"How about lollipops and candy canes!" Sirius said in a high pitched fake voice. "How about how fucking dumb life is?" he said dully.

"Why do you say life is dull?" Remus asked. What the hell are you a moody teenager!

"Why do we bother living? What's the reason for living, wow a few funny moments make eighty years of pure hell a 'wonderful' life?" Sirius growled. "Why do we go to school, so we can get a crappy job and waste our youth away worrying about money! I mean people say you can change the world, but in reality you can't. One person can't do shit for the world."

Remus shrugged. "Do you want me to agree or disagree?"

"I don't care."

"In that case," Remus started. "Then I disagree, it's rewarding to go to school, it's more fun then it is hard. We don't waste away our youth worrying about money. People lead very rewarding lives and are able to choose their own career and life."

"There are no choices. It's all fake, it's a system created by the government to keep people in line. If you think about it there's so few things a person can do, people are just shoved into generic jobs and most of them are screwed for life."

"We get to choose everything! Our job, our spouse, where we live, what we live in! And jobs are hardly generic and there's so many! You could be a doctor or a lawyer or a reporter, or a business man, a car dealer, a writer!" Remus sighed and his eyes glazed over. "It's a wonderful life."

"Why? Life is dull and flat. People are boring, you just met the same old guys who're depseratly trying to prove to the world that they're 'men' an strong and in control and women who're selfish and immature and constantly worrying about their figure and their hair. People are shallow!"

"Well maybe that's what makes us people." Remus objected.

"No it's what makes us predictable." Sirius snapped.

Remus looked at Sirius Black for a moment and was starting to realize why he was so difficult. He's smart…he's very, very smart. He manipulates people and he reads their emotions. He's not juts a moody guy who never grew out of his teenage years…damn it! Remus was becoming fascinated with Sirius' views, because they were novel and interesting and surprisingly lucid. "I'm sure we can talk more next time."

"Yeah, whatever."

If he'd stop being an ass he might actually be worth speaking with! Remus simmered. "Well have a good day."

"Stay hot." Sirius growled from the door. Remus scrambled over to the phone and dialed James short cut, 3.


James partially listened this time and found himself laughing. "I told you that your astounding level or prettiness was going to get you in trouble!"


James just kept laughing at his friend hysterics.

A/N: So, whatcha think? If you want me to continue review glares if u read and like just say anything! Such as good, bad, u suck!, burn in hell, or I like, wite more. Anything works for me! 0.o heheheh