A/N: Well, I've decided to pick this story back up… My sense of humor may be badly damaged though, because I'm very depressed right now, ever since my girlfriend and I broke up…
Chapter six: Act II
Kadowaki slowly stood up, burned from the coffee. "Fought well, you have!" She yelled. "My old… Padawan."
"Why are you talking like Yoda?" Zell asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Because my mum liked to shoot squirrels." Kadowaki replied.
"…" Was Zell's only response.
"Come on raggedy man! You want some?" Kadowaki yelled, pumping her fist in the air.
"Bring it on!" Zell screamed.
Kadowaki dropped her bra again, flashing Zell. The short blonde couldn't take it, and passed out.
Kadowaki approached the fallen seed, intending to do things to him. Before she could, out of thin air appeared a short skinny guy with black hair, green eyes, back eyeliner, and a guitar in his hands.
"Who the hell are you?" Kadowaki asked.
"I'm Billie Joe Armstrong mother (bleep)er!" He yelled, before bashing the nurse upside the head with his guitar. "Come the f(bleep) here and get some (bleep)ing pain you f(bleep)ing b(bleep)!" Billie yelled, hitting the fallen Kadowaki over the head several times, and eventually breaking his guitar. Seeing that his favorite instrument was broken, Billie collapsed to his knees, and held the remaining pieces of his first guitar. "Blue! Nooooooooo!" He collapsed, in a fit of tears. Just then, Mike Dirnt and Tre Cool stepped out of the shadows, and drug him out of sight, as Mike mumbled something about dogs taking over the world.
"Holiday my (bleep)…" Tre mumbled disgruntled as the group left. "Always have to take a (bleep)ing detour because of Billie and his violent tendencies…"
Irvine stepped into Selphie's dorm, and made her aware of his presence by sending a bullet through the ceiling. Selphie didn't realize it was him, and jumped out of the bathroom swinging her nunchaku. Irvine was struck in the face, chest, and groin several times, crumbling to the ground, screaming in agony.
"Oh sh(bleep)!" Selphie yelled. "Irvine, shut up!" She tried to quiet him, since he didn't want the faculty to realize what had happened.
After a few more minutes of Selphie yelling at Irvine, he finally stopped screaming. Still clutching his pained areas, he barely managed to speak. "Sefie… Looks like we're never going to have kids…"
"You think I wanted to have kids with you anyway?" She cocked an eyebrow.
Irvine's bottom lip began to tremble, and he busted out crying again.
"Oh come on Irvy! Stop crying! Please? Irvy-Kinny-poo, please stop! I-man, stop it! Wyatt Earp, come on, be quiet! Shotgun, stop crying… Please?" She started making up random nicknames for him.
"Only if you call me Mr. Big." He replied.
Selphie let out a frustrated sigh. "But if I do that, you're going to turn it into a sexual innuendo." After a few more moments, she rolled her eyes and spoke the words. "Please? Mr. big…" She said, mock lustily.
"Okay!" he jumped up. "Wanna have se-"
"NO!" Selphie interjected. "Now get the (bleep) out of my dorm you perv!"
Squall opened the door to his dorm, stumbling out, dressed like a hippie. Smoke poured out his doorway, as Squall wandered down the hall. As he passed a random student, he made a peace sign, dancing goofily. "Peace brother! Come on man, let's go use some creativity enhancers!"
"By creativity enhancers, I assume you mean drugs right?" The student bluntly asked.
"Maybe… Maybe not…" Squall replied, in an unusual tone. He was obviously high. "I don't like to use the word drugs. I prefer the word "funkitizers."." Squall muttered. "Yeah…" He slowly looked around him. "Whooaa… I just realized something. My hands are… Huuuuge… They can touch anything… but themselves." Squall said, just before putting his hands together. "Oh wait." He gasped. He stood for a minute, and the student walked off.
After a few minutes, another student came by, and Squall grabbed him by the shoulders. The student turned around with a weird look on his face, probably because of Squall's attire.
"Yo man." Squall said casually. "You know what's cool?"
"Um… What?" The student asked, obviously confused.
"Star gazing." Squall elaborated. "You know what's cooler?" After a few seconds, Squall continued. "Star gazing… ON WEED!" He yelled suddenly, scaring the student away.