A/N: So this is my first Star Wars fanfic. Please let me know how I did, it's not my usual genre, so please don't flame me if you hate it! Song lyrics are in italics. Thanks for reading! Please REVIEW!
Our RewardQui-Gon Jinn looked out across the mess hall of the Jedi Temple, watching and listening to the sea of students that churned there. His eyes landed on one particular student. Obi-Wan Kenobi. His former apprentice. Qui-Gon struggled against the feelings of anger and hurt that threatened to choke him as he thought of the boy. He noticed Obi-Wan did not move to sit with his friends, but instead chose an empty table, in a shaded corner. Qui-Gon decided to sit with the boy, he needed to move past these dark feelings and accept what had happened between them.
I'll get tired of the heart attacks
Every time it rings
I'll put myself on the waiting list
And get it all cleared up
Obi-Wan sat alone, staring at his food, toying with it, suddenly not hungry. He knew what he had done on Melida/Daan was foolish, hurtful to Qui-Gon, but he could not move past the feelings of anger with himself and disappointment. He was ashamed that he had once again fallen prey to his weakness, angry also. But he was also angry with Qui-Gon. The Jedi Master had been so cold toward him. Shown him little trust, had hardly let Obi-Wan into his heart. In his heart, Obi-Wan blamed Qui-Gon for his leaving; if only he had let Obi-Wan take the ship, if only he had listened! Obi-Wan knew his actions were his own, but he had felt cornered into leaving by the Young's desperate plea for help and Qui-Gon's firm refusal. He could not leave the Young to die, but that meant he had to betray Qui-Gon's trust. If only the Jedi Master had been more flexible!
You're the one with the attitude
Don't try and make me out
To be the root of the evil in
The whole rotten affair
Qui-Gon approached silently, studying his one-time apprentice. It was clear the boy was unhappy with himself, with…him as well. Qui-Gon sighed mentally, perhaps he should have taken another course on Melida/Daan, but he had not. It had still been Obi-Wan's choice to leave. The Jedi Master sat and Obi-Wan glanced up, startled. They locked eyed for a moment, then broke the contact, unable to stand the connection. Both felt guilt and some anger over what had happened, both were unsure as to how to mend the hurts they had caused each other.
Lie back and suffer now
We've both earned our reward
Buried deep in the telegram
I'm sure I never got
Was any clue of the whereabouts
Of all the things I'd lost
Obi-Wan bit his lower lip, still toying with his food. He wanted so badly for Qui-Gon to forgive him, take him as his apprentice again! But the Jedi was not so sure. He had been reluctant before, now he was even more so. He had been certain it was correct the first time and it seemed it had not been. What was different now? Qui-Gon's original doubts had been reborn, stronger than ever. No matter how much Obi-Wan thought they were meant to be, no matter how much the boy wanted it, said he was sorry, said he did not mean to hurt his Master, those doubts still held him. And the boy knew it. As the Council had told him, he was no longer a child, a simple apology, a simple 'I'm sorry,' did not work any longer.
Just because you were right before
Doesn't mean you're right
To make up now would just vindicate
Every doubt I had
It's not as simple as
How much you think you care
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan met each other's gaze again. Both felt the other was too stubborn, too reckless, too uncommitted, and therefore, neither could take the first step to mend the hurts that had been caused. Finally, Obi-Wan decided he would not regain his appetite. Inclining his head to Qui-Gon, the young man rose, taking his untouched tray of food with him, feelings of anger, disappointment, and hurt churning in his stomach. The feeling that his former Master was far too stubborn burned in the back of his mind. Qui-Gon watched him go, the feelings of betrayal, hurt, and anger returning as he watched the boy walk away—again. Slowly, Qui-Gon Jinn rose and took the direction that led away from his former apprentice. His feelings had not changed. He could not bring himself to take the boy back.
You would never know
When to take the hint
Broken glass aside
My feelings stay the same
Covered head to toeIn blood and fear and spite
A/N: Well, what did you think? Please tell me in a REVIEW!