Chapter 13: A Most Unfortunate Ending

The feeling of helplessness is one of the most frustrating and horrible emotions one can possibly undergo. It's one of the severest forms of depression at its worst with no means of righting it and setting yourself back on the right track, because, in the end, you can do absolutely nothing about it. You are helpless--hence why you feel that way. All you can do is wait it out, hoping that it will fix itself as you stand back and watch the nightmare unfold. Violet, unfortunately, had a large dose of it that day as she watched the frantic fighting frenzy foiling Olaf's scheme. She was useless, the brightest inventor of her age and all she could do was suffer in immobility on top of her wobbly wooden stool as her rope necklace chafed her neck.

She saw Misses Allgood enter the room causing a slight hesitation in Olaf's strike. Willis took full advantage of it, hurling himself across the room and over any debris that might have been in the way of a mere human being. Olaf's reaction time didn't have a chance to consider the implications of the flailing monkey's fists as he landed on Olaf's chest, disarming him.

Blaine was lending her assistance to her feeble monkey companion in moments, just as Olaf was beginning to overcome his initial surprise.

Violet watched on...

Sunny crawled toward Klaus and bit off his restraints in a matter of moments.

"Kick the log out from under the girl!" Olaf cried to his henchman--who until then stood stock-still in stiff shock--and put him into motion. Henchman these days are no longer of the quality they used to be.

Klaus rolled off the altar and was in motion toward his elder sibling. The race was on!

Mr. Poe stared as the events transpired, amazed at the complexity of the ceremony. It seemed as if everyone had their own parts to play. He just wished he was on time so he could join in--although, he knew he wasn't as good an actor as they seemed to be. Violet appeared to be genuinely scared that she would die. He wished he knew her trick.

Sunny located the dropped knife and hurled it at the rope holding Violet--it landed several feet in front of her. Honestly, what did you think? Sunny is an infant, not William Turner. She's lucky enough to posses the mechanical abilities to pick it up, let alone toss it several feet.

Violet watched on...

The scuffle continued between Blaine and Olaf, each dealing their own blows to the other. Willis rolled off to the side and when Sunny tossed the knife he was there to scoop it up and climbed on top of Violet, reaching her summit as the enlarged individual of no distinguishable gender kicked the log out from under her.

Slice. Violet and Willis fell to the ground with a thud after the dear, dear monkey cut the rope just in time.

Mr. Poe gaped; they were amazing actors.

Violet swiftly ducked her head out of the noose as the obese individual tugged on the severed string. Violet felt the nylon pull out of her hands and hit her nose on the way by. Yet another close call.

"OOF!" The sound resounded through the clatter catching everyones attentions as Olaf managed to kick Blaine in the gut, stunning her. She fell back against the altar gasping for air.

"Sorry," he apologized while side-stepping toward the back door with his obese henchman, "I can't stay and chat." Blaine stood up threateningly, although still short of air. They fled.

There was a short pause as everyone regained their composure, the Baudelaires had survived yet again. The silence was eventually filled by Mr. Poe's jubilant applause. "Good show! Good show! That was some of the best action I've ever seen! Misses Allgood, you made each of his blows look so real. And Violet, my god, you actually looked scared! Wow, just a excellent performance all around, you should be professionals."

Klaus was confident Mr. Poe had absolutely no idea what an "Aztec religion" was.

"That was Olaf!" Violet told him.

"He tried to kill us!" Klaus added.

"Count Olaf? Well, what would he possibly being doing here? You children are jumping at boogymen again. That was merely a nice ranger with a certain fondness for the Aztec religion."

"He was no ranger." This from the actual ranger.

"Now, now. Don't denounce your comrade for liking the Aztecs, I really can't blame him after seeing this ceremony." Here Poe paused to cough into a bloody handkerchief, when he was done he continued, "It was really exciting!"

They all glared at him in general discontent; Mr. Poe failed to notice. "Now, how are you all doing?"

Willis jumped onto Mr. Poe to investigate this new individual who entered his territory. "Ook!" said he.

"Now, now, Sunny. I'm glad to see you too." He looked Willis in the face. "My god, Sunny! Look at your teeth! Misses Allgood, I can't believe you would let the children neglect personal hygiene to such a high degree; this is unacceptable!"

"That's not Sunny..."

"You don't even know the names of the kids your supposed to be looking after? Oh, this will not do! Come kids, I'm sorry to have left you with such a wretched keeper."

"But Mr. Poe, she just saved us - "

"Hush, child." Violet frowned--she hated being called a child."You don't have to defend her, if I have my way you'll never have to see her again."

"Errg," said Sunny, which probably meant something along the lines of "It's impossible talking to him when he's like this." Her siblings nodded their heads in grim agreement. He was always like this.

"Mr. Poe, with all do respect - "

"I'm sorry, Misses Allgood, but I cannot allow the children to stay with a keeper who doesn't support and enforce proper hygiene. As it is obvious you do not, I would be remiss in my responsibilities if I continued to let them suffer through this atrocity."

"But that's not even - "

"Now, now. I know what you're going to say, and I'll hear none of it."

She blinked. He clearly had absolutely no idea what she was going to say.

Mr. Poe handed Willis to Violet and started heading out of the temple, "Come on, children. It's time we are off, I've been away from the bank for far too long and there is business to be done."

"But..." Klaus started but couldn't find the words to finish his sentence.

"But..." Violet started but couldn't find the words to finish her sentence.

"Uh..." Sunny started but couldn't find the syllables to finish her word.

"I'll send someone to get your things, so don't worry about them," Mr. Poe answered their unspoken question--of course, that wasn't the unspoken question they meant to ask, but according to Mr. Poe that's what they didn't say.

They walked on and Violet allowed Willis to regain the ground and picked up Sunny instead. Willis immediately went to Misses Allgood to comfort her loss of the children.

They walked off silently, glancing back repeatedly at Misses Allgood and the house they were now leaving. They had finally found someone who could actually manage to protect them and Mr. Poe wouldn't even let them stay...

Far away, a rustic gong sounded in high spirits. The Baudelaires did not hear it; but if they did, their spirits would not have been at all lifted.


Authors Notes: That was not the rustic gong I intended to mention, but it ended up getting cut out of the story so I added that at the end just so I could cover everything I mentioned in the introduction. This wasn't one of my better chapters, I know, but there was a lot of action, and that's where I'm rather weak with writing. Also, I just wanted to end this bloody story. :p Hope you enjoyed! Review, please!

I might submit a seperate chapter which lists all the allusions in the near future, but probably wont. So, here is a small list:

"OOK" -- Terry Pratchette's Orangutan/librarian.
The monster -- Jabberwock from Lewis Carroll's much loved poem.
Blaine Allgood -- Jane Goodall
Willis -- isn't it obvious?
"Beware of Leopard" -- Douglas Adams' Hitchiker's

There are others amongst the story which I'm sure you can spot, but I'm too lazy to find them at the minute.