Ron ½ Book 2: Middleton Mayhem
Disclaimer: Kim Possible is owned by the Disney Corporation. –So let's see some season DVD sets already!—
This is a continuation of Ron ½. Please read that first, otherwise you may end up being hopelessly lost. Tsk, tsk. You just had to believe Ryoga when he said he knew how to get you home.
:denotes: Chinese speech
denotes Japanese speech
Chapter 1: Tadaima Means I'm Home
Drakken paced back and forth by the door of his lair and looked at his watch impatiently. It was late. How could he be expected to come up with a plan for world domination without the proper tools? He looked at his watch again and let out an irritated growl.
"Ya know Dr. D, patience is a virtue," Shego chided from her seat in the 'den' as she flipped through her magazine.
"I'm a bad man," he snapped back. "I'm not supposed to have virtues."
"Hmmm," Shego grunted in response noncommittally before a loud alarm announced the presence of an intruder on their doorstep. Shego instantly leapt to the control panel and looked to Drakken for instruction. "Should I arm the booby traps?"
"Relax Shego. I've been expecting him," Drakken said with a wave of his arm and opened the door a crack.
"Do you have it?" Drakken asked in a low tone as he peered through the crack in the door.
"Umm, Mr... Drabben?"
"That's Drakken! And I'm a doctor!" Drakken yelled as he pulled the door open wider.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the mailman said as he fingered through the stack of mail in his hand. "Well, it looks like we have mail for a Dr. Drakken, a Ms. Shego and... a couple of pieces for a Mr. Lipsky."
"Yes, yes, yes," Drakken said eagerly as he snatched the pile of mail and rummaged through it. "Bill, bill, bill, magazine, sweepstakes... Wait! It's not here!"
The mailman looked at Drakken skeptically. "You're a bit young to be expecting a social security check."
"Not social security!" Drakken yelled, a vein pulsing in his forehead. "Not that I actually pay into that," he muttered under his breath.
"Oooh," the carrier said as he realized what his customer must've been expecting. "Sorry, disability checks don't go out until Monday."
"Do I look disabled to you?!" Drakken yelled on the verge of strangling the troublesome postal employee. "I am waiting for a catalog."
"Well, I did have this catalog for a Mr. Drabben," the carrier mentioned. "But you did just say that there's no Drabben living here."
"Wait! That's what I need!" Drakken exclaimed upon catching title of the catalog.
The mail carrier scrutinized the address label and hissed apologetically. "Sorry, but it doesn't say current resident and it is addressed to Mr. Drabben."
"Fine! I'm Drabben! I'm Drabben!" Drakken burst out irritably only to have the carrier regard him skeptically again. "I, uh, forgot that... Drabben's the name... I used to order that catalog!" Drakken smiled widely and tried his best to look credible.
"Well, it is just junk mail anyways," the carrier said with a shrug as he handed over the coveted catalog and continued along on his route.
"That was so painful to watch," Shego said dryly with a shake of her head.
"It doesn't do to antagonize a postal employee, Shego," Drakken said clutching his cherished catalog. "We'd never get our coupons ever again."
"Oh yeah, like we ever buy anything," Shego retorted as she grabbed her new magazine and tossed the bills into the fireplace. "Ooohhh, 'Perfect Hair for the Perfect Date,'" she exclaimed upon reading the title.
"Can we get back to the important thing here?" Drakken said peevishly as he waved his new catalog in the air.
"This is important," Shego said absently as she sat down and began reading.
Drakken growled angrily, rapidly flipped through his catalog and imperiously shoved it on top of Shego's magazine. "There! Read that!" he ordered and proudly stood by as Shego dutifully followed his orders.
"The Mishima Heavy Industries High Capacity Washing Machine for all your industrial washing needs. Powered by a..."
"What?! No! Not that page!" Drakken shouted. "The other one!"
"Ooh, this is nice too," Shego said appreciatively as she looked over the schematics of the war mech displayed on the page. "The Golem 2000, the ultimate weapon for the ultimate mayhem. Able to track and eliminate multiple targets, it is the leader in ground force suppression."
"Exactly," Drakken said with an evil grin. "With an army of those I can finally take over the world."
"So we've stopped designing and building our own war machines?" Shego asked, curiously tapping the picture.
"We may as well let corporate lackeys shoulder the bulk of the tiresome groundwork of testing designs and then there's the mass production angle," Drakken declared loftily.
"And this way you don't have to pay anyone a salary," Shego pointed out.
"I am not cheap, if that's what you're implying," Drakken said with a defensive glare.
"Nooo, never," Shego drawled as she flipped through the catalog. "But personally, as long as we're stealing, I'd go with what's on page 37 myself."
"Fine, whatever," Drakken said with a grandiose wave of his hand. "We'll steal that too."
"Of course," Shego sighed and turned back to her magazine.
Autumn had come to Middleton in full bloom, painting the hills around the city with broad strokes of red, orange and yellow. A gentle autumn rain bathed the area, causing most of the citizens to take shelter indoors to wait out the storm. The rain also caused one teen citizen of the town to mumble imprecations under her breath.
"'Sunny, with clouds moving in,'" Ron-chan griped as she valiantly trudged through the falling rain. "Yeah, right."
"Come on, Ron. It's not that bad," Kim said as she took Ron-chan's arm.
"Tell that to Rufus," Ron-chan said as she pulled out the shivering naked mole rat and held him close.
"Hehe, wet t-shirt," Rufus chittered with a laugh.
"Hey, I'm not supposed to look good in a wet T-shirt here," Ron-chan shot back with a glare at her pet.
"Actually, right now you look better in a wet T-shirt than I do," Kim quipped and pointed at the blonde's rather 'healthy' chest.
"Gee, thanks," Ron-chan grimaced. "I just want to get home, take a hot shower and get my manhood back."
"And explain to your parents why you turn into a girl when splashed with cold water. Plus there's the matter of your two prospective fiancés," Kim pointed out. "I still can't believe that they managed to get through Immigration that quickly."
Apparently, while they were staying at the Tendo Dojo, Yori had worked with Nabiki Tendo to get her immigration and school transfer paperwork filed and approved. Amazing as that was, winnowing through the massive stacks of forms, Kim was absolutely dumbfounded by how easily Lo Shin had breezed through immigration. Lo Shin's half-hearted response to everyone's stunned surprise was simply that no one was stupid enough to get in a Chinese Amazon's way. Something seemed to be bothering the Amazon, but Kim merely pegged it down as homesickness jitters.
"Well, maybe this will boost my rep with the ladies," Ron-chan said hopefully. "I mean after all, I heard that chicks dig the man that's unattainable."
"And by unattainable you mean female?" Kim asked with an arched brow.
"D'oh," Ron-chan said. "I keep forgetting about that."
"Well, here we are. Home sweet home," Kim said as they stood in front of Ron's house. The lights were on inside the house and there was a car parked in the driveway, so it appeared that at least one of Ron's parents were home.
"I changed my mind, KP," Ron-chan said suddenly. "Can we crash at your place?"
"Nuh uh, no way," Kim said adamantly.
"Come on, it's just us girls. It'll be like a... slumber party," Ron-chan said desperately.
"You're going to need to face your parents sooner or later," Kim argued. "And there is no way I'm going to have all three of you girls in my room."
"Oh, fine," Ron-chan sighed in defeat as she trudged up to the front door and opened the door with the spare key from under the mat.
"I'm home!" Ron-chan called out hesitantly, deepening her voice slightly.
"Ronnie? Is that you?" Mrs. Stoppable called from the kitchen. Ron-chan opened her mouth to answer, but then looked to Kim in desperation.
"Yeah, it's us, Mrs. Stoppable," Kim said to cover Ron's hesitation. 'Go' she mouthed to Ron.
"Oh, Kim. Are you going to stay for dinner?" Mrs. Stoppable asked.
"No, just stopping in to say hi," Kim said as Ron quickly ran to his room and then to the bathroom with an armful of clothes. She quickly beckoned Yori and Lo Shin inside and headed for the kitchen.
"Oh, you poor thing, it's still raining out," Mrs. Stoppable commented, taking in Kim's drenched appearance. She instantly grabbed a small kitchen towel and offered it as a token to the sopping wet redhead. "Why don't you go dry off? I'll have Ron's dad give you a ride home."
"Thanks," Kim said gratefully, taking the towel as Yori and Lo Shin entered the kitchen behind her. "Oh, by the way, this is Yori and Lo Shin," Kim said as she pointed to each girl in turn.
"Hello, mother," Yori and Lo Shin said with a respectful bow before pausing briefly to glare at each other. Mrs. Stoppable paused in her tracks, looked at the girls, then to Kim and finally cast her eyes around for her missing son.
"Kim? Why are these girls calling me mother?" Mrs. Stoppable asked weakly.
Kim rolled her eyes. "As for why they're calling you mother... Well, both of them intend to marry Ron."
"Oh. I see," Mrs. Stoppable said slowly as she sat down heavily at the kitchen table. "Dear?!" Her voice had an edge of hysteria to it as she hollered for her husband.
"Hmm? What is it?" Mr. Stoppable said, entering the kitchen and nodding in greeting to the familiar girl. "Hello, Kim. Nice to see you back."
"Do you have any idea what your son has been up to?" Ron's mother began.
"Well, since Kim's here I would have to say it involved saving the world again," Mr. Stoppable answered and adjusted his glasses, peering at the two strange girls with a puzzled frown on his face. "Who're your friends, Kim?"
"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad," Ron said as he ran into the kitchen before Kim could make another round of introductions. He ran his fingers through his slightly damp hair as he flashed Kim a grateful look and mouthed his thanks to her.
"Ronald, is there something you need to tell us?" his mother asked from the kitchen table.
"Uh, um," Ron stammered as he floundered around, desperately wondering how much his parents already knew. He glanced at Kim again, hoping to pick up some clues about what his mother wanted him to confess.
"I mean it's one thing to go off saving the world with Kim and missing a couple of weeks of school while you're at it," his mother continued, her voice growing angrier by the second.
Kim was as clueless as Ron about what had angered his mother so and simply shrugged in response to Ron's silent question. Ron looked at his father who merely shrugged and shook his head as well, looking equally confused.
"How could you take advantage of our trust and get these girls pregnant?!" Mrs. Stoppable demanded finally.
"Wha? Huh? Oh! N-nuh-nononono! It's not like that at all," Ron said frantically waving his hands in denial. "Uh, they just followed me home!"
Kim rolled her eyes at Ron's lame defense. "It's true Mrs. Stoppable. Ron didn't get these girls pregnant. The issue's a little bit more complicated than that." Ron nodded emphatically in agreement.
"Well, if Kim doesn't mind sharing then I guess we really don't have much say in the matter," Mr. Stoppable commented, causing Kim to draw in a shocked breath. Her mouth flapped open as she tried to think of something to say in response. Ron gibbered incomprehensively as the word 'share' triggered a whole spate of images he wasn't quite prepared to deal with standing there in the kitchen with his parents.
"You know, I always thought Ronald wasn't much of a ladies' man, but he must've made quite an impression if these two girls followed him from... China was it?" Mr. Stoppable continued, ignoring Ron and Kim's momentary embarrassment.
"And Japan," Yori chimed in as Lo Shin nodded in agreement.
"That's one way of putting it," Kim finally managed to get out.
"That's quite the international entourage you've gathered, Ronald," Mr. Stoppable said with a humorous glint in his eye. "Good for you, son! So which one are you going to choose?"
"What?!" Kim and Mrs. Stoppable exploded simultaneously.
"Just kidding, just kidding," Mr. Stoppable laughed briefly to mollify the two outraged women and then looked seriously at the girls. "After all, they're all much too young to be thinking about marriage."
"My thoughts exactly," Mrs. Stoppable said with her arms folded across her chest.
"But since the girls came all this way we may as well let them stay," Mr. Stoppable finished. "Besides, it'll be nice having some more women in the house."
"Booyah!" Rufus agreed, peeking from Ron's cargo pocket.
"But-but where will we put them?" Mrs. Stoppable finally asked.
"Well, easiest thing would be to put them in Ron's room," Mr. Stoppable suggested with a broad grin. "That way no one would have to sneak around in the middle of the night."
Ron's expression was one of wide-eyed, panicked denial while Kim's and Mrs. Stoppable's were one of barely contained outrage. Yori and Lo Shin didn't have much to say, they were too busy blushing.
"The girls will sleep in the guest room," Mrs. Stoppable ground out as she glared at her husband.
"Of course, dear," Mr. Stoppable laughed as he rubbed the back of his head. "I wasn't really serious about putting the girls in Ronald's room."
"Of course you weren't, dear," Mrs. Stoppable sighed as she led her two guests to the guest bedroom. "It's really coming down out there," she mentioned as she looked out the window. "Would you mind driving Kim home while I get the girls settled in?"
"No problem, Hon," Mr. Stoppable nodded dutifully. "Care to come along Ronald?"
"Um, sure," Ron agreed with a hesitant look out the window. "I'll be right back," he called over his shoulder as he made a dash for his room.
Mr. Stoppable gave his son a quizzical look when Ron returned wearing a bright yellow rain hat, slicker, rain pants, galoshes and carrying an oversized umbrella in his hand. "Ronald, it's just a rain storm, not a hurricane," his father pointed out.
"Well, uh, better safe than sorry," Ron chuckled weakly as the three of them stepped into the car.
"So Kim, how did your mission to Japan go?" Mr. Stoppable asked conversationally as he started the car and began the drive to Kim's house.
Both Kim and Ron twitched slightly as they recalled the series of events that had taken place in Japan. "Oh, just... fine," Kim managed to get out after an involuntary glance at Ron. "Though we don't really know what happened to Monkey Fist."
"I'm sure the two of you will catch him eventually," Mr. Stoppable replied confidently. "So did you see a lot of the country while you were there?"
"Not really, Dad," Ron answered. "We were a bit busy."
"I know, I know. But I hear that those Japanese hot springs are really something else," Mr. Stoppable said.
"Well, you know those open air baths aren't really my thing," Kim chuckled as she nonchalantly waved the question aside.
"Worried that Ron'd peek?" Mr. Stoppable asked with a mischievous glance through the rear-view mirror.
"WHAT?!" Ron bellowed as Kim felt her cheeks grow hot.
"Why so coy Ron? You've taken a bath with Kim before," Mr. Stoppable said.
"We were five years old!"
"There's no reason to be shy now then," Ron's dad said.
"That's not the point!" Ron yelled.
"It-it's okay, Ron," Kim said as she laid a calming hand on Ron's arm. "Your dad's just teasing." Kim could still feel the heat of her blush on her cheeks though.
"Yup, don't mind me," Mr. Stoppable advised the two teens as he pulled the car into the Possible driveway. "Besides we're here."
It was still raining heavily, so Ron hurriedly stepped out the car before it had come to a complete stop and ran around to the other side as he snapped open the umbrella. He gave Kim a little half bow as he opened her door and offered her the sheltering protection of the umbrella. "Thank you, kind sir," Kim giggled.
Ron gave Kim another bow. "My pleasure, dear lady," he said gallantly.
"Don't be long now!" Mr. Stoppable called from the car causing Ron to stumble slightly.
"Aheh, sorry about that, KP," Ron said as he waved a hand back in the general direction of his father.
"He was just having somefun at your expense," Kim said tolerantly as she brushed her hair behind her ear.
"Well, thanks for covering for me earlier," Ron said gratefully as he lowered his voice and leaned in closer. "I really gotta figure out a way to break my curse to my parents."
"N-no big," Kim stammered as she felt her blush return. "Do you think it'll be okay having Yori and Lo Shin in your house?"
"Considering how my mother freaked out, I don't think they'll be stepping a foot out of the guest room," Ron answered. "Oh, hey, did you know Lo Shin's birthday is coming up in a couple of days?"
"No, I didn't," Kim replied with a shake of her head.
"It just came up on the plane ride for some reason or other. She seemed a little weirded out about it though."
"Maybe she's homesick," Kim speculated. "I know I'd be if that was the first time I'd ever left home by myself."
"Hmm, maybe," Ron agreed. "Maybe we shoul—"
Whatever Ron had planned, he was interrupted as they heard Kim's front door open.
"Oh, I thought I saw a car pull into the driveway," Mr. Possible said as he stood in the doorway. The two friends gave a guilty start as they realized how close they were standing and surreptitiously eased away from each other.
"Y-yeah, it was raining so we decided to drop Kim off so she wouldn't get drenched," Ron explained as Kim turned to hug her father in greeting.
"Well, that was nice of your father, Ronald," Mr. Possible said with a nod to the lad. "Thanks for driving Kimmie home, Frank," he called to Ron's father with a wave.
"Not a problem, Alan!" Mr. Stoppable called back as he lowered the car window. "Come on, Ron. We should get home and help your mother."
"Yeah! So, uh, call you later KP?" Ron asked as he began to make his way to the car.
"You'd better," Kim replied with mock ferocity. "And tell your parents," she advised Ron in a low voice meant for the two of them alone. "It'll only make it worse if you keep it a secret."
"Got it, KP."
Ron fidgeted pensively during the ride home. Several times he looked as if he was about to say something to his father, but then Ron just settled back into his seat. Mr. Stoppable watched his son's inner turmoil and simply waited patiently for Ron to reveal what was on his mind.
"You know, it's been a while since we've had both families together for anything," Mr. Stoppable finally commented to break the silence.
Ron only grunted, barely even aware that his father was talking to him.
"So maybe we should invite the Possibles over for Thanksgiving this year," Mr. Stoppable suggested.
Ron continued with his barely responsive grunts. Mr. Stoppable glanced at his son and decided that something would have to be done to shake the boy out of his funk.
"So I figured instead of turkey this year, we'll just serve up a giant pile of cheese, then after that we can have Rufus marry the garden gnome, cause well everyone loves a wedding and a chance to say mazel tov."
"Uh hu—h?" Ron shook his head as his father regained his attention. "Sorry, zoned out there for a minute."
"Is there something you need to tell me, Ronald?" Mr. Stoppable asked.
Ron pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Well... it's a biggie. I figure I should tell you and Mom together so I don't have to repeat myself."
"That important, huh?"
"Oh yeah," Ron confirmed with a lift of his eyebrows.
"Well, I suppose it's a good thing that we're nearly home then."
"Hmmm," Ron mumbled as he looked out his window to see the patterns of rain streaking by.
Mrs. Stoppable was busy watering the plants in the living room when the Stoppable men returned. "So Kim got home okay?" she asked.
"Yup, but I think Ronald has something important to tell us," Mr. Stoppable said as Ron shucked his rain gear.
"You'd better sit down," Ron advised his parents. Looking at each other curiously, they both did as their son asked, his mother placing the watering can on the coffee table.
Ron took a deep breath to steel himself as he looked to both of his parents. "See. Mom. Dad. Something happened during our mission in China. Something weird," he began to explain his predicament. "Well, we hired a guide and we got into a fight with the villain near these springs and I sorta fell into one of them."
"It's okay, Ronnie," his mother said in an attempt to comfort him. "You're maybe a little less coordinated that some other people, but Kim depends on you. You're a bigger help to her than you think."
"That's not what's bugging me," Ron denied with a brief shake of his head. "It's kinda hard to explain really."
"Ronald, whatever it is, we'll understand," his father said, causing Ron to begin pacing before them.
Gritting his teeth, Ron grabbed the watering can that his mother had placed on the table and took another deep breath to tighten his resolve. "It'll be easier if I show you," he sighed as he upended the canister over his head.
Ron felt his point of view shift a few inches lower as he shrank slightly due to his change. She shifted her shoulders slightly to adjust the fit of her shirt and looked expectantly at her parents as she cinched her belt tighter. Both of them could do little more than stare in wide-eyed amazement as their only son turned into a shorter, well-endowed girl. Mrs. Stoppable swallowed heavily and opened her mouth several times, but couldn't force any words out.
Ron's father finally cleared his throat with a confused look on his face. "Son, when I said it'll be nice to have some more girls around the house, this wasn't what I meant."
"Well, at least it's out in the open now," Kim said over the phone. "It seems like they're okay with your curse."
"Yeah, but I think my mom was more tweaked 'bout my pouring the water on the carpet," Ron replied as he ran his finger through his damp blond hair.
"Well, at least neither of them passed out when you became a girl," Kim pointed out.
"I know. Hey, has Wade managed to come up with anything on Monkey Fist?" Ron asked as the thought occurred to him.
He could hear Kim shaking her head. "I checked in when I got home. Nothing so far. Which I guess is good and bad..."
"Cause that'd mean he's not dead," Ron finished, finally voicing the hidden fear that had been gnawing at him. That he'd actually killed a man. There was a long pause on the other end of the line.
"I'm sure he'll turn up eventually, Ron," Kim said softly.
"Thanks, KP. Ya know... I-I'm kinda wiped so I'm going to hit the sack," he said.
Kim wanted to say more, to help Ron deal with the burden of guilt he must have been carrying all this time, but her instincts told her that now simply wasn't the time. Even though he couldn't see it, she gave Ron an encouraging smile that she hoped he could somehow hear and draw strength from. "Okay, night Ron."
Mt. Niri - Japan
The monks had kept vigil over the injured traveler they had discovered as they made their way down from the shrine at the peak of Mt. Niri. The strange man mumbled fitfully in his unconsciousness as they tended to his wounds. They had no idea where the man had come from, no one had seen him ascend the mountain and the monks had certainly not seen him descending from the peak until they found him lying by the trail in his injured state.
It was as if he had simply fallen out of the sky.
The stranger's lips parted in a soft groan. "Ronald..." he mumbled as his face began to twitch at some painful memory.
I think he's waking up, an acolyte said softly to his companion.
I'll get the Abbot, the other said as he rose to his feet.
"Not like this..." the stranger mumbled as his breath began to come in ragged gasps and his twitching intensified. "No..."
The tremors grew more violent and the stranger's eyes suddenly flew open and he took in his surroundings, his eyes clouded and confused. He flailed about on his pallet, panicked and frightened.
Do not be afraid, the remaining acolyte said in an attempt to ease the wounded man's distress. You were injured, but you're safe here at Niri.
The stranger's breathing eased slightly as the words slowly filtered through his fear clouded mind. He swallowed several times as he worked his tongue around to work some moisture in his mouth.
Ronald... he gasped.
My honor to meet you, Ronald, the acolyte said. I am called Hirosuke.
No, that's... not my name, the stranger disagreed with a weak shake of his head.
My apologies, Hirosuke apologized. Do you remember what happened to you? How you ended up on the trail beaten and left for dead?
The stranger's brow furrowed and after a moment shook his head in frustration.
I shall return soon with some food for you, Hirosuke said as he stood up to leave. If there is anything else we can do for you please let us know.
Thank you, the stranger said gratefully. But would you also happen to know who I am?
A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing
I know the amnesia thing has been done before, over and over and over again. But trust me. I am going somewhere with this.
Now in this modern age, why wouldn't the monks know about Monkey Fist you ask? Well, they're the type to isolate themselves from the world, no TV, no newspapers, no radio. Just themselves in their monastery on the path to enlightenment.
Ron's parents are a little difficult to define, considering that they get so little screen time. However, Mrs. Stoppable seems to be a little bit uptight, while Mr. Stoppable seems a little more easygoing.
Technically, I don't a postal carrier would be that anal about delivering a catalog. Normally, they'd just say 'the hell with it' and hand it over. But it was fun to tweak Drakken a bit.
Ah yes, Mishima Heavy Industries and the Golem 2000 are from All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku which I believe is trademarked by ADV films.
Stay tuned as Ron readjusts to his life in Middleton, making new friends and enemies. Or make that as Rhonda makes new friends... hehe :Evil Impulses: hehe