This is a ficlet I wrote for no reason what so ever apart from boredom. It is a complete, one shot thing...

-------On with the show--------

"No James, you heard Dumbledore. If we go to Godric's Hollow we can go under Fidelius."

"But..."

"No James, I want Harry to be safe."

"Okay. But Blinky is coming with us."

"Alright James. If you cannot live without a house elf, Blinky can come."

The Potters moved to Godric's hollow, and it was in Godric's Hollow on that fateful Halloween night, that Lilly Potter was killed.

Lilly of course was not considered the smartest witch of age for no reason. She knew Voldemort would catch up with them. She knew Dumbledore would try to place Harry with Petunia. She knew the prophecy. She knew Sirius would be suspected as the secret keeper.

The day before Halloween Lilly called Blinky over to her chair in front of the fire.

"Blinky."

"Mistress Potter Ma'am, how can Blinky help?"

"If I die, and James dies, I want you to take care of Harry."

"Mistress Potter, Blinky does not know how."

"The other elves can help you. Promise me you will not let anyone else take him. Raise him as if he were your own son."

Blinky nodded, shedding a single tear.

"Mistress Potter will not die. Blinky loves Mistress Potter too much."

"Oh Blinky. Just promise."

"Blinky promises Mistress Potter. We's will treat him as our own son."

And the next day, was that fateful night. True to Lilly's prediction, she and James were both killed. Harry lived. Voldemort died.

Blinky rushed up to the room in which Harry was lying asleep.

"Oh Master Harry sir. Blinky will take you back home and look after you as Mistress Potter said too."

The young house elf transported Harry and herself to Potter Manner. When the two arrived at the manner moments later, she clicked he fingers and all 50 of the house elves appeared.

"The Masters have died, except for Master Harry." Every house elf in the room lowered their heads, their eyes watering.

"The Mistress gave Blinky, and all of the House elves a final command though. We's are to look after Master Harry."

One of the house elves looked up.

"We's not know how to raise a human child properly Blinky. We's not even know lan... speak"

"Master learn Elf then. Then we teach speak."

"Do we's learn Master Elf Magic?"

"When master more big."

The elves quickly picked up on the way to handle a baby. Although the elves knew the basics of baby care, they had little to no idea on the finer aspects. When people came looking for Harry, they quickly made them leave the property. When Harry cried, Blinky was the one to come in and comfort him. When Harry achieved something, like his first steps, or his first words, Blinky and Yoda would be there to congratulate him. Was it any surprise then when Blinky and Yoday began being called the house elf equivalent of Mum and Dad? They of course tried to stop it, but Harry insisted. It was one of these times, when Blinky was trying to stop Harry from calling him mum that one of the portraits spoke up.

"Elf."

"Yes Master Potter?"

"What is the boy saying that makes you discipline him like that?"

"Young Master Potter is calling Blinky the elven equivalent of mum."

"Let him."

"But Master Potter sir, Blinky is not Masters mum."

"Elf, you act as his mother, then you deserve the title. My Great Great Granddaughter in law left you with the task of raising him, so far you are doing a good job. I may wish that circumstances were different, but I cannot hold him, I cannot teach him. I am not even able to talk to him."

"Master Potter sir, what does you means?"

"Do you not know about the magic they use for portraits?"

"No sir. Blinky never been told sir."

"Children under the age of 11 cannot hear portraits. Parents were using them as baby sitters. The charms were changed. It is clear the boy will only be able to speak your language natively. English will always be a second language to him. Promise me elf that you will teach him everything about elves, their magic included."

"We'sa promise Master Potter sir."

"Good."

From that day one Blinky and Yoda were called mum and dad by young 2 year old Harry Potter.

At the age of 4, Harry approached his 'parents' (AN: bold indicates speaking Elven)

"Mum, Dad. How come I do not look like you?"

"We are not your Parents child, although we love you like one."

"So mum, who are my parents?"

"Humans, Called James and Lilly Potter. They loved you as much as we do."

"Where are they?"

"A bad man killed them."

"So I am not Elf?"

"No, you are human, but you can use magic like an elf."

"Why?"

"You are our child."

"Oh. How come no other elves have children?"

"They do not have permission from their master."

"Who is master?"

"You."

"Do any elves want to have children mum?"

"Many. Would you like a brother or sister Harry?"

"Yes!"

"Can we have your permission?"

"Of course mum! Are you going to have one with Yoda?"

"Yes Harry son."

Harry ran over to the elf he considered his mum, and gave her a hug. Then he did the same to his 'dad'.

"How long until I have a brother?"

"Or sister Harry, One month."

Harry did a little jig.

"Harry, there is something we need to talk about. You need to learn human languages. We will teach you the language spoken here, called English. Spark and Shell will teach you French, Latin and Italian, Larry will teach you Greek, Egyptian and Chinese and Flint will teach you Gobeldygook to speak to Goblins."

For the next year, Harry continued to learn Elf magic and the languages of the world. Harry's 'parents' gave birth to Lilly, a beautiful (to an elf) baby girl. As Harry grew, he learnt all of the skills of a house elf. He was taught cooking and cleaning. He was taught the history, and the foreseeable future of the elves (needless to say the elves saw the future being the same as their past) and also the magic of the elves. He and his sister were inseparable.

It was the day of Harry Potter's 11th birthday that the Potter household would be changed forever. At 9 O'clock that day an owl dropped a letter in front of Harry.

"Mum... What's this?"

"A letter for you son."

Harry opened the letter and looked at it.

"What's it say mum?"

"I don't know Harry. Elves do not need to read remember."

"Yes mum... Elves know the content of a list through intent not writing."

"Correct Harry."

It was not until two days latter when there was a knock on the door that Harry would find out the contents of the letter.

Blinky opened the door.

"We are here to see Mister Potter please." an old man with a long gray beard said politely.

"What this about sir's?"

"We sent him a letter 3 days ago. The letter lead us here."

"Enter sir's, Blinky will get Harry for sir's. Harry!"

Harry popped into the room (as only a house elf can do), wearing a pillowcase tied with a draw string.

"Harry, sir's are here to talk to you."

"Please come in sir's, sit, Harry will get sir's some tea."

Harry popped out of the room and back with a tray of tea.

"How can Harry help sir's?"

"Harry, who has been looking after you for all these years."

Harry looked at the old man who had spoken. Then he thought for a moment.

"Harry lived here with... what word... Mum? How do I say mum and dad?"

"Mum and dad, Harry, or Blinky and Yoda."

The old man looked at the elf.

"You have looked after Harry since his parents died?"

"Mistress gave Blinky last order. Look after Master Harry as own son. Blinky has done."

"We want him to go to Hogwarts."

"School?"

"Yes elf." the second man spoke rudely. He was a man with a very dark demeanor.

"Harry? Have you read your letter?" the kind older man asked.

Harry shook his head.

"We would like you to come and learn magic at Hogwarts, which is where you birth mum and dad learnt magic."

"I do not want to go Mum."

"You must. You must learn the magic of humans."

"But..."

"Go. If things don't work out you can come back."

"Could Harry bring Lilly and Mum and Dad and all Harry's uncles and aunts and cousins?"

"Are they all elves?"

"Yes sir."

"Sure Harry. How many are there."

Harry looked over to Blinky. "Mum, how do I say 127 in english?"

"One hundred and twenty seven Harry."

"127 sir's."

"thirty not old to work." Blinky added

"Yes, thirty still child."

"Is your sister still a child?" the kind man asked.

"Lilly seven. Lilly adult for four year. Lilly have child with Rodie. Harry not adult, but Harry work good. Elves have 20 more baby come soon."

"Sir, there is no way Hogwarts needs another 140 odd elves! We only have fifty and that is more than enough."

"Now now Severus, I am sure there are parts of the castle that the current staffing levels are unable to maintain. Why increasing our numbers so could be beneficial. Now how about we go and get your supplies. Let's see we will need robes,"

When Harry heard Robes leave the old man's mouth he looked down ashamed.

"Sir's want to dismiss Harry?" tears leaked out of the young boy's eyes.

"No Harry, nothing like that, you are not a house elf."

"Harry is son of elf. Harry bound by house elf law. Harry wear ... this."

"Maybe you could just dye Potters ... sack... Albus... then give him some rope as a sign of house."

"Very well. Come child, let's take you to Diagon Alley."

It was a strange day for those in Diagon alley, a little boy wearing a pillowcase spent the day in the Alley, with Albus Dumbledore and Serverus Snape at his side.

Their first stop was Gringots. Harry was led to the counter.

-Good day sir- Harry spoke to the Goblin, using Gobeldygook.

-Good day. It is not often we meet a young man who speaks our tongue-

Albus and Severus quickly overcame their surprise and spoke to the Goblin.

"Mister Potter wishes to make a withdrawal." the little gold key was handed over, and they were escorted to vault 687, where Harry withdrew a fair sum of money.

The trio wandered the streets of Diagon Alley picking up the required list of items. Severus went off one way to get the books, whilst Albus took Harry to Olivanders to get a wand.

"Ah Mister Potter. I was wondering when I would see you."

After asking Harry a few questions, Olivander turned to Dumbledore.

"His wand will need to be custom made. As far as Harry's magic is concerned, he is a House Elf. Normal cores and woods don't work for elves." the mans eyes held an excited gleam. "I haven't been allowed to make a custom elven job for nearly 100 years. Ever since the law disallowing sale. Even before that though, most masters did not want a wand for an elf."

Harry was ushered out the back, into a large work room. There were 3 other doors, each on a separate wall. One was labeled Wood, one Cores and one Contraband Materials.

Harry was led into the last door. Inside there were rows and rows of jars, each filled with a liquid. At the back of the room was a chair, like those you find at dentists.

"Each magical creature's magic can be compressed into an essence. A liquid. With elven wands, the essence of the user is required, along with two suitable essences from the collection here. This is what creates the wand. Now Mister Potter, just sit on this chair and we will go about collecting some."

Harry sat down on the chair. Olivander then placed a pad on each temple and one on his navel.

"Now I want you to gather your magic as if you wanted to pop somewhere." An incandescent platinum liquid began to collect in a phial connected to the chair. When it was full, he was told to release it and stand up. Harry was then told to extend his magic out, as if to clean the walls of a room. When his magic was extended, 3 jars began glowing. Olivander quickly picked them off the shelf and ushered everyone out of the room, picking up a shallow bowl as he left.

"Watch this Albus, I doubt you will see something as spectacular ever again."

Olivander poured the four liquids into the bowl. They swirled together, not mixing. Then a tendril of each liquid reached up and began weaving. Other tendrils reached up as time went by, forming a complex lace. When it was finished, there was a magnificent hollow wand, it's sides containing an intricate pattern of hollowed sections. It looked like it was carved out of the darkest black stone. The wand was handed to Harry, who waved it. As he waved, the two old men could see a blue energy building within. The energy was released, creating a swarm of birds.

Olivander was practically bouncing as they went back into the store.

"No charge mister Potter. The thrill of making that wand was enough!"

As they walked out the door, the wand vanished.

They met up with Severus at the Leaky Cauldron.

"Let's see your wand then mister Potter."

Harry opened his hand and the wand materialized the same way it was created in Olivanders. Severus was stunned. Harry was returned to his house, and told to go to platform 9 and ¾ on the first of September, whilst the rest of the House Elves transferred to Hogwarts.

The day came at last, and Harry was sitting in a compartment on the train. 5 minutes later he was joined by a bushy haired girl in black robes.

"Hello."

"Hello Mistress."

"I'm Hermione Granger, and you are?"

"Harry mistress. Harry Potter."

"I've read about you. Your in Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts, Defeaters of Darkness, Wizards Unaccounted for and at least 3 other books. Although they all said you were dead or at least disapered."

"Harry not disappeared mistress, Harry live with mum and dad. Binky and Yoda."

"Oh."

Hermione pulled out her book and settled down to read.

"Do you want a book to read Harry?" she asked, minutes later, as Harry had been looking wistfully at hers since she brought it out.

"H.. Harry cannot read Mistress Hermione." He looked down, obviously ashamed at not being able to live up to the standards of one of his new mistresses.

"Would you like to learn?"

Harry nodded eagerly.

Hermione pulled out a quill and some parchment and wrote out the alphabet, the problem was, her intention, as one of Harry's new mistresses made what she wrote clear to Harry.

"So you do understand writing?"

"No Mistress Hermione. You wrote letter. House Elf know masters and mistresses write through intention. Harry not read books."

"But you look human."

"Harry mum and dad, Binky and Yoda, house elf, then Harry magic house elf."

"Oh. Um..." Hermione dug out Hogwarts: A history. Pointing to letters she began to teach him the alphabet. By the end of the trip, Harry knew some basic words.

When Harry stepped off the train, Severus approached him.

"Mister Potter, the Headmaster would like you to come to his office. I take it you can pop in there?"

"Yes Master Severus Snape Sir. Would sir like Harry to take sir there as well?"

"Can you do that Potter?"

"Yes Master Severus Snape Sir."

Harry took hold of Severus' robe and with a pop, both were standing in the headmasters office.

The aged headmaster turned to greet the two.

"Harry, I need you to stay in here until I call."

Down in the great hall, Dumbledore waited until the last first year had been sorted, then he stood.

"This year, we have a student here under special circumstances. He has been raised as a house elf. He is also bound by the same laws as a house elf. Any student found ordering this student around, or giving him clothes will be expelled immediately. Harry?"

POP Harry appeared in the great hall in front of the wise old man.

"Please sit on the chair there please Harry."

Mutely Harry sat on the chair. The sorting hat was placed on his head.

"Well well well.. A house elf, or rather a human house elf. Interesting. You have a gift for magic Mister Potter. Where to put you. Slytherin, you have cunning, power... no they would eat you alive, although there is one there, a mister Malfoy who wishes to become a friend. Ravenclaw, you are certainly smart. You know more languages fluently than any other I have met... no, your lack of ability to read would make you a social outcast there. Hufflepuff. Well you are loyal and hard working... but then again, the poor dears would try and give you clothes all the time. That leaves Griffindor. Again you are loyal, and you fear little except being given clothes... they would never understand you though, although the almost Ravenclaw girl wants too. They are too loud, you like the quiet. Headmaster, I need to speak with you before I sort Mister Potter."

Dumbledore placed the hat on his head. The hat relayed what he had said to Harry.

"Where do I put him Albus?"

"Where do you thinks best?"

"His only friend is Griffindor, but they would eat him alive. If I did not know how important he was to you, I would say send him home, let him live the rest of his life out happily as a house elf. The little community he lives in would suit him fine. He would marry one of the house elves, they would have children, as the house elf bond would ensure conception without any of the 'problems' of mating. I cannot do that though can I. You need him. At least you decided to destroy the stone, even if it did cause Quirrels death due to Voldemort."

"Is there any chance he will loose the bounds of a house elf?"

"No."

"Then I suppose you shall have to offer him the choice."

"Thank you headmaster."

The hat was placed back on Harry's head.

"Mister Potter, we have a choice for you. You may choose which every house you want, or you may choose to go home and live out your life in peace."

"Harry allowed to go back home with family?"

"If you want to."

"I do Master Hat sir."

"Very well. Mister Harry Potter has elected not to be sorted. He will be returning to his home, along with his family. Please note that this is not an indication of lack of talent, in fact Harry is extremely gifted. Thus ends the sorting."

From that day onwards, Harry lived his life peacefully. Voldemort returned to corporeal form when he was 14, and attempted to invade Potter Mansion. Voldemort was killed by the magic of 200 house elves, including Harry, fulfilling the prophecy.

Hermione Granger lived out her 7 years at Hogwarts friendless, due to the lack of the troll incident, and looked up Harry the day she graduated. They married a year later. Draco Malfoy also looked up Harry, and he became the godfather of Harry and Hermiones twin girl and boy.

Harry never learnt to talk properly in English, so Hermione learnt Elven. Their children speak both as if they are their first language.

The children left to Hogwarts, becoming Head boy and girl, and eventually shared the position of Ministers of Magic.