Mr. Jack Pots
A/N: Dedicated to Ellie who requested this story! Hope you like it!
"No, no, no, Hinata…it'll be totally hilarious…"
"Are you sure he won't get mad?"
"Come on, this is SHINO we're talking about!"
Hinata twiddled her fingers nervously. That's what she was worried about.
"Look, I'll do it and you just watch, okay?" Kiba said as he picked up the telephone and dialed Shino's number.
"I hope he doesn't get mad!" Hinata said, covering her face.
The phone rang a few times as Kiba tried to keep himself from laughing. He actually started once or twice, but quickly caught himself as he heard the receiver pick up on the other end.
"Hello?" came the voice.
"Is that Shino?" Hinata whispered.
Kiba shushed her. "Yes, hello?" he said, lowering his voice. "Is this the home of Aburame Shino?"
There was a long pause.
"Hello?" Kiba repeated.
"What's going on?" Hinata asked.
"I don't know." He said, looking disappointed.
"Hello?" came a new voice that sounded more like Shino.
"Oh!" said Kiba, hastily returning back to his lower voice. "Am I speaking to Aburame Shino?"
"Yes, hello." Said Kiba, barely keeping himself from laughing as Hinata hugged a pillow. "My name is Jack Pots. I received your order last month for some lactating pills and I'm just calling to tell you—"
"Lactating pills?" Shino interrupted.
"Yes, lactating pills." Kiba repeated.
"I didn't order lactating pills." Shino said.
"That's impossible!" said Kiba. "Here I have an order form signed with your name. You ARE Aburame Shino, aren't you?"
"I am." Shino said.
"Then you ordered the lactating pills." Kiba said.
"No." said Shino. "No I didn't."
"Well, you can deny it all you want but we received an order for you. And I just want you to know that everything is going just fine and it should be delivered in just a few days."
"I didn't order lactating pills." Shino said stubbornly.
"Look, sir, it's nothing to be ashamed of." Said Kiba. "People order this stuff all the time! It's my JOB!"
"You have the wrong Aburame Shino." Said Shino.
"No I don't." said Kiba. "I am positive that you are the correct one."
"How are you positive of this fact?" Shino asked.
"Uh—" began Kiba but then he paused. "Hold please!" Kiba quickly pressed the mute button on the phone and looked at Hinata who was turning red with embarrassment. "Now what do I say?!"
"I think we've been pretending enough…" Hinata said quietly. "You should tell him that we were just playing a joke on him."
"What fun would THAT be?!" Kiba said. "We hardly started at all! We have to at least play for a little while longer!"
"I think Shino's just getting annoyed!" Hinata said.
"That's the POINT!" Kiba said with a sigh. "We annoy him to no end and then we can all laugh about it later! Except for Shino since he doesn't laugh."
"I don't know if this is the best joke to play on Shino…" Hinata began.
"Okay, okay, okay." Said Kiba. "Let me just do ONE more thing and then I'll tell him that it's really us."
Kiba pressed the mute button again.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello?" Shino replied.
"So, yes, I just spoke to my manager and we confirmed that you are the correct Aburame Shino." Kiba said. "This residence has been ordering lactating pills for almost four years."
There was no response.
"Hello?" Kiba said.
"Hello?" Kiba said one more time.
Hinata looked at him curiously. Kiba only shrugged.
"I guess he hung up." Kiba said finally.
"No, I'm still here." Came Shino's voice.
"Oh yes!" said Kiba, clearing his throat and going back to the low voice. "Anyway, like we were saying!"
"Kiba, I know this is you."
"What are you talking about?" said Kiba with a slight laugh. "Kiba who?"
"Kiba, not EVERY phone has a mute button."
Kiba looked at the phone pad to see that there wasn't, in fact, a mute button. Then he looked at Hinata who appeared horrified.
"Haha!" Kiba said into the phone. "Pretty funny, huh Shino?"
"I'm not laughing." Shino said.
"You NEVER laugh, Shino!" said Kiba.
There was silence.
Then Kiba slammed the phone down.
"Oh no!" said Hinata. "He's going to be so mad at us!"
"No he's not!" said Kiba reassuringly. "I bet he'll forget all about it by tomorrow's training session!"
"I hope he doesn't hate me forever!" woed Hinata.
"He's not going to hate you forever!" laughed Kiba. "Don't be silly, Hinata!"
Little did Kiba know that Shino WOULD hate them both forever. Not outwardly or vocally, but secretly and quietly, which is almost worse. It would fester inside of him as his bugs fed off his hatred and angst and eventually he would crack. Then it would be downhill for poor Hinata and Kiba who just wanted to pull an innocent prank.
10 Years Later…
"Hey Shino, what's up?" said Kiba as he passed Shino on the street one day.
That was Shino's boiling over point. Without saying a word, Shino pounced on him and attacked him with his chakra bugs. ALL of them.
After smiting Kiba dead, Shino paused for a moment and took a deep breath. He was glad to finally have that off his back.