Need to Wallow!"
This plot idea came from GILMORE GIRLS--only like the BEST show ever! So yes a few lines are from there, and the plot idea is from there. But the characters belong to JK Rowling, except for the ones I made up.
"Remus just told us! Are you okay?" Kayla Jensen exclaimed, rushing into the room.
"I'm fine," Lily assured them.
"She must be delirious," Madison Hovel pointed out.
"You guys, I swear I'm fine. It's really no big deal," Lily reassured them and then turned back to what she was doing.
"If you say so…" Kayla Dacha said skeptically.
"She's not fine! She just doesn't want to worry about it," Madison cried out.
"It's nothing guys," Lily explained.
"Okay…" the girls said, obviously knowing she wasn't fine.
"Do you wanna come to the commons room with us?" Kayla asked.
"Maybe later, I'm going to finish this work," Lily said. The two girls shrugged and headed down to the commons room, running into their other friend, Elsie.
After the girls were gone, Lily sat back down on her bed, and put her head on the pillow. She faced the windowsill where a picture of her and James was placed. It was winter and they were outside, posing in front of a snowman that they attempted to build without using magic. Lily smiled weakly at the picture and reached over and positioned it face down.
"Hey Lils," James said, giving her a small kiss on the cheek.
"Hey you, what are we doing tonight?" Lily asked, placing her hand in his.
"Not sure. Whatever you want." Lily shrugged so James suggested, "How about we start with a walk along the lake?"
"Okay," Lily said. "So guess what I heard happened to Severus today?"
"In Potions, he accidentally put the wrong ingredient it, and it turned his entire body pink! You didn't happen to have anything to do with that, did you?"
"Not this time," James said with a smile. "So anything else interesting happen today?"
"I got an A on my Ancient Ruins paper. And you know I worked hard on that, so I'd be complaining if I got anything but. The guy sitting next to me got a D, so he must have thought it was a bullshit assignment. And then in Apparatics, the teacher by mistake gave us the wrong quiz, so he gave everyone ten points for just being there, which sucked for Fern Gotfren, because she wasn't there, so I guess she lost ten points. And everyone knows she's not very smart, so I'm not sure why she takes Apparatics in the first place, but yeah, she is one of the few people who needs that ten points. I wonder why she wasn't there? Maybe it was bec-"
"Lily," James said calmly.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, of course," Lily said.
"We've been going out for a while now right?"
"Eleven months," Lily stated.
"Right…almost a year…so, um, why haven't we moved...on," James squeaked out.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, we haven't really been moving…up to the next level..."
"Level of what?"
"All we've really done is kiss…"
"So? What's wrong with that?"
"James, what are you trying to say?"
"Ugh! I don't know! Never mind," James said harshly.
"Don't get mad at me, I just don't understand."
"How can you not understand?" James asked rudely.
"Because you're not making sense!"
James heaved a huge sigh and started over. "Okay, well you know Sirius right?"
Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes."
"Well he's the same age as us…actually two months younger than me technically."
"And he's well…he's done…with just random girls he's…he's gone far an-"
"Like sex far," Lily stated, understanding now.
"Right, and I was just-"
"Are you asking me why we haven't had sex yet?" Lily demanded to know, letting go of James's hand.
"Not exactly…" James lied.
"James, Sirius isn't us. He hasn't had a relationship longer than a month."
"Exactly! You and I have been going out for a year and, and…nothing."
"What do you mean nothing?" Lily exclaimed.
"I just mean, well…okay, you see-"
Lily cut him off. "Are you telling me that our relationship has meant nothing to you? You're my best friend and I tell you my darkest secret and have been intimate with you and that's meant nothing?"
"Intimate! You're kidding me, right?" James yelled.
"Well I've done more with you than I have with anyone else! You just want to have sex with me and then drop me like every girl Sirius dates!"
"Stop blowing this out of proportion! I didn't say that! I can't believe you'd think that."
"You're comparing me to Sirius, a guy who wouldn't know how to be polite and just talk to a girl if his life depended on it! What am I supposed to think?"
"That I'm just trying to have a conversation with my girlfriend about something other than classes."
"Well I'm sorry I bore you," Lily said, not trying to hide the fact that she was hurt.
"You don't bore me Lily," James said calmly and seriously. "I was merely wondering."
It was quiet for a few minutes and then James said, "I was just trying to figure out why we haven't moved from the same spot in eleven months."
Lily looked up at him but didn't say anything.
"Maybe…" James trailed off, sighed, and tried again. "Maybe we need a break."
Lily jerked her head to look at him to see if he was serious. "Why?"
"Because I feel different around you than I used to," James said.
Lily stared at him but said nothing.
"So I think a break would maybe…" James trailed off, not sure how to word the rest of his sentence.
"Would maybe what?"
"I mean, maybe we should see other people. See what else is out there."
"You mean have sex with other people," Lily said harshly.
"I didn't say that," James exclaimed. "This is what I'm talking about! I can't say anything in front of you without you twisting it around!"
"Well then I guess that's not a problem anymore," Lily snapped and started to walk away.
"I guess not!" James shouted after her, and then plopped onto a tree stump.
Lily sighed, wiped a tear that had fell down her cheek, and looked up at the ceiling.
"A penny for your thoughts?" someone said, walking into the room.
Lily looked down. "Got a million pennies?" she snorted. "Hi Remus."
"Hi. Is Mia here?"
"Nope. Haven't seen her all day," Lily said with a sigh.
Remus just stood there for a few seconds. "So…how are you?"
Lily just stared him down but didn't say anything.
"Okay…bad question," Remus said, biting his lip. "I guess I'll go."
He turned around and started to walk out when Lily shouted, "Wait, Remus?"
"Yeah?" he turned around to face her.
"Why'd he do it?"
Remus hesitated. "I'm not sure Lily. But if you ask me, he's an idiot."
Lily grunted. "I can't argue with that. But I mean…is there someone else he likes?"
"I don't think so," Remus thought about it some more. "Nope, there isn't anyone. He's dated everyone," Remus said with a snort. Lily smiled at that.
"I just don't get it," Lily said, sitting up on her bed, as Remus came over and sat next to her.
Remus sighed and tried to explain it. "His best friend is Sirius. With guys, it's always a contest and he feels he's losing…horribly."
"So having a long term girlfriend who you share everything with and who is your absolute best friend is losing?"
"It's hard to explain. You know Sirius: it's all about sex."
"I know, and I hate it. You know what? I'm better off without James if all he cares about is competing with Si."
"That's the spirit. Plenty of other fish in the sea."
Lily turned to him and smiled. "So, wanna go out tomorrow?" Lily joked.
"I'm not sure Mia would like that very much," Remus said with a laugh as he got up. He waved and with that he left.
"Time to get up!" Lily exclaimed, opening the blinds and turning on the lights.
"Hmm?" Kayla said, rolling over and looking at her alarm clock. "But it's 6 AM ."
"Yes it is," Lily confirmed.
"On a Saturday morning."
"No see, Lily. It's 6 AM on a Saturday morning," Kayla exclaimed.
Lily ignored her. "Alright, what do you guys want to wear. I'll pick it out for you," Lily said.
"Pajamas," Mia said, rolling over.
"Slippers," Madison mumbled.
"Blankets," Kayla offered.
"Don't make us get up Lily. Saturday is the day of rest," Elsie explained.
"That's Sunday you moron," Lily said.
"Yes, but Saturday is the day of pre-rest," Elsie fibbed.
"Pre-rest?" Lily asked.
"Yeah, so that way when you actually get to Sunday, you're rested enough to enjoy your rest," Elsie explained.
"That makes absolutely no sense," Lily said, pulling the covers off of the girls
"That's because it's 6:00 on Saturday morning!" Elsie cried out.
"UP!" Lily exclaimed. The four girls groaned and got out of bed.
Half an hour later the girls were all dressed and staring at Lily like she was a madman.
"Lily, I know you want to get a lot done today but don't you remember yesterday?" Mia asked.
Lily looked away. "Yes, I'm not an idiot. This doesn't have anything to do with that. I just realize all the stuff we haven't done as a group."
"Lily, I wish you'd talk to us," Kayla said.
"I don't want to deal with it right now," Lily said with a shrug and then sighed. "I can't deal with it right now."
"Fair enough," Mia said.
"Lily we've been there before. We can help you," Elsie explained.
"I don't want to talk about it," Lily confirmed. "Now we have a long list of activities to do today."
"But you're supposed to wallow!" Madison complained.
"Huh?" Lily wondered.
"The day after the boy breaks up with you is devoted to wallowing."
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, obviously annoyed by the conversation.
"He was your first boyfriend. Your first love. You can't pretend like nothing happened. You eat tubs of ice creams and throw darts at his face," Madison clarified.
"Yeah, you don't put make up on or shave your legs. You put your pajamas back on, and just have a good cry," Elsie continued.
"I don't want to be one of those girls," Lily confirmed.
"Someone whose life falls apart when her boyfriend breaks up with her. Someone who needs a boyfriend."
"You're not like that. You'll never be that way," Kayla insisted.
"But every girl has to wallow in self-pity." Mia pointed out.
"So I used to have a boyfriend? Now I don't. That's just the way it is. How is eating junk food and crying to help?"
"Well, it's not…" Elsie said.
"It's just part of the healing process," Madison said.
"Guys, thanks for trying to help, but I'm doing fine on my own," Lily said steadily, closing the topic of conversation.
Everyone looked skeptical but just sighed and shrugged.
A week later, Lily was lounged out on the couch reading a book.
"Hey Lils," Mia said, sitting next to Lily. "Having fun doing homework?"
"It's a blast," Lily teased. "So how's Remus?"
"How are things with you two?"
Mia shrugged. "It's not serious…I don't think."
"You're better off that way," Lily said, looking down and trying to smile.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Mia asked with a comforting smile.
Lily just smiled weakly.
"I think he's an idiot for breaking up with you."
"So do I," Lily said with a snicker.
"Hey guys!" Elsie said, bouncing in with Kayla and Madison. Two of them plopped on the couch while Elise took the recliner beside the couch.
"Doing homework again?" Kayla whined.
"You haven't stopped doing homework for an entire week. You're becoming a workaholic," Elise complained.
"You can't just dive into your work because of James and yo-" Madison started.
"I'm just behind in my work," Lily pointed out firmly. "This is not because of James, Maddie."
"Lily, you can't just ignore what happened…" Mia said softly.
"I'm not ignoring anything. I'm simply living my life. Life goes on," Lily said firmly. The girls sighed but couldn't say anything because they were interrupted.
"Well if it isn't the hottest ladies at Hogwarts," Sirius teased, walking over to the couch with Peter.
"And if it isn't the biggest player at Hogwarts," Madison said with a smirk.
"I take that as a compliment," Sirius said with a grin.
"You would," Lily muttered.
"What was that dear Lily?"
"Shut up Si," Lily groaned.
"Stop bothering them," Remus said, coming into the commons room.
"I'm not bothering them. Am I bothering you guys?" Sirius asked.
"Yes," all five girls answered, none of them being sincere except for Lily..
"Oh…well, what do you know?" Sirius said with a shrug, sitting on the loveseat to the left of the couch, next to Remus as Peter took a seat on the floor.
"Whoa, who said you guys could sit here?" Kayla joked.
"When do we not sit together?" Sirius asked.
Elise looked over at Lily who was trying to act like she was reading. "Since the whole James and Lily fiasco." Remus sighed and bit his lip.
Lily looked up. "Don't bring me into this. They can do what they please."
"What fiasco?" Sirius asked.
Lily jerked her head to face Sirius. "What do you mean what fiasco?"
"Did you guys have another one of your petty fights that last like a day and then you end up making out and being all lovey dovey which gets me sick to my stomach?"
"No, they b-" Madison started.
"Yup, that's James and I. It'll be over in an hour," Lily quickly interrupted.
"Hmm, surprised I hadn't heard of this one yet. What happened?"
"Um…well you know us. It was stupid. Can't really remember come to think of it," Lily lied.
"Here's James now. Just make up with him. Yo, James!" Sirius shouted.
James looked over with a worried look on his face. He took a deep breath, and walked over. Lily stared at the ground, refusing to look at James.
"Heard you and Lily over here had a fight," Sirius said.
"Yeah, but look I was going to tell you that we-"
"Had a fight," Remus quickly said.
"—broke up…" James finished, giving a weird look to Remus.
"Excuse me? You guys broke up!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Yeah…" James said, glancing at Lily trying to get feedback.
"What? Why! You guys were together for like two years or something."
"One year," James said.
"Eleven months," Lily corrected, gritting her teeth.
"Wow, eleven months down the drain," Sirius noted. Madison slapped him on the arm.
"What do you mean down the drain?" Madison asked.
"Well I mean, obviously it went nowhere if all they did was go out for eleven months and then break up," Sirius said.
Lily gathered her books together and got up, "Thanks to you." And with that, Lily walked up, trying hard from storming off.
"What is she talking about?" Sirius asked.
"I'm not sure…" Madison said, obviously confused.
"Come to think of it…" Elsie started facing James. "…we never found out why you and Lily broke up."
"Because it wasn't going anywhere. We were stuck in the same place that we were in when we started going out," James fibbed with a shrug.
"So what did I do?" Sirius asked. James ignored him and stared at the door Lily just walked out of.
"I'll be right back…" James slowly said, walked after Lily.
"Come in," Lily grumbled as there was a knock on her door. James entered and just stood there. Lily looked up and groaned. "What do you want?"
"I just…I mean, I don't want you to be mad at Sirius for what happened with us."
"I don't hate him for us breaking up. I never really liked him in the first place," Lily pointed out with a shrug, not bothering to look at James.
"Yes you did! You thought he was hilarious and that it was great how close I was with him," James explained.
"Maybe he was funny, but he was a bad influence on you," Lily said with a shrug.
"You never thought that!"
"I always did! He always looked at girls as objects, not people. And he has always thought that girls were only good for sex."
"He has not," James argued firmly. "You just dislike him now."
"James, you broke up with me because it's always been a contest between you and Sirius and now you're losing. How am I supposed to not dislike Sirius?"
"It is not a contest!"
"James! Give it up!" Lily exclaimed.
"You can't hate Sirius for me breaking up with you!"
"Because he doesn't know the reason you broke up with me!"
"YES!" James shouted. "No, wait. I mean no."
Lily sighed, and finally looked at James. "Why didn't you tell him?"
"Because…well, it was because he…" James trailed off.
"Because he was the reason you broke it off?"
"No. It was bec-"
"Because you didn't want him to know you were a virgin?" Lily wondered.
James paused and ignored her question. "I didn't tell Sirius bec-"
"Because you don't want him to know we haven't had sex?"
"No! He knows. He's not stupid. It was be-"
"Because you didn't want him to know you were jealous of his sex life?"
"NO! Lily, it was because he-"
"So it was because you didn't wan-"
"Because he liked the thought of us together!" James shouted, before Lily could get another word in.
Lily stopped and looked confused. "What?"
James sighed. "You think I'm jealous of Sirius? No. It's the other way around."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well you know Sirius is known as a player right?"
Lily snorted. "There's an understatement."
"He always liked the thought of me with a girl longer than a month. He thought it was sweet, but he doesn't know how to commit. He's tried, but it doesn't work. He lived his dreams through you and I."
"It's because of the girls he's picked."
"Well, he knows his reputation and he thinks it would just be easier to keep it that way for the rest of the year," James said with a shrug.
"Then why'd you break up with me if it meant so much to him?"
"And me," James corrected. Lily raised her eyebrows and didn't say anything. "I broke it off for me. I don't do everything because of Sirius."
Lily snorted. "It's because you're jealous of Sirius's life is what you mean to say."
"No I'm not!"
"Give it up James! You are so mad that you are still a virgin at seventeen and that your best friend does nothing but have sex!"
James ignored what she was saying. "You don't know me at all!"
Lily snorted. "Yeah, we only dated for nearly a year!"
"Thank God that's over!" James shouted, not realizing he was saying it.
Lily looked up at him with hurt in her eyes. "We're not going out anymore, so I can tell you to leave my room."
"I didn't mean that. I'm just-"
"You're kicking me out?"
Lily sighed and looked down at her hands. "Yes."
James sighed also and started to the door. Right before he left, he murmured, "Lily, I never wanted to hurt you." And then he left.
Lily looked up. "Well it's too late for that," she whispered to herself.
"Hey Lily! Wait up!" someone shouted from behind Lily.
Lily turned around and groaned. "What do you want?"
"Don't try to hide your excitement," Sirius said sarcastically. "Can we take a walk?"
"We are walking," Lily pointed out. Sirius gave her a look and she sighed. "Fine, where?"
"I don't know. Outside somewhere," Sirius said with a shrug and Lily followed.
"So what's up? What's so important that you have to take me away from civilization?"
Sirius rolled his eyes and said, "Well, I talked to James last night."
"Oh," Lily said, looking down at the ground.
"I didn't want you to think I pushed him into breaking up with you or anything. I had no idea he was even thinkingit."
"That makes two of us," Lily stated.
"I thought he was happy. I mean, he was happy. I didn't mean to ruin it or anything…" Sirius said.
Lily smiled at how nice Sirius was being. "I know Si."
"I don't want you to think I had any part in his decision," Sirius continued.
Lily stopped walking and sighed. "I know. It wasn't your fault."
"Oh…'cause James seemed the get the impression that you were blaming me," Sirius explained.
"I just didn't think it was a problem…you know an-"
"You mean you guys not having sex?" Sirius put it bluntly.
"I didn't know it bothered him so much. And because that's all you do, it was easiest to blame you."
"That's not all I do," Sirius argued.
"Yes it is. But you know what? If all James wants from me is sex, then I'm better off without him. I don't think it's a big deal if he's a virgin at seventeen, but if th-"
"He's not a virgin," Sirius pointed out.
"What?" Lily asked alarmed.
Sirius realized what he said and then just shrugged. "Oh, just kidding. He's still a virgin. What was I thinking?"
Lily gave Sirius a death stare and tried again, "What are you talking about?"
"Nothing…continue what you were saying. You're mad at James…" Sirius slowly said.
"Tell me the truth Si," Lily said calmly.
"I think maybe you should talk to James…"
"I think maybe you should tell me. I don't want to speak to James."
"But this is a problem between the two of you," Sirius stalled.
Lily grabbed Sirius's collar. "Tell me."
"Okay, okay," Sirius said and Lily let go of Sirius. Sirius took a deep breath. "You know Kellie Baker?" Sirius asked.
"She lives in James's neighborhood back home. She's a muggle," Sirius explained.
Lily looked stunned and then muttered, "When?"
"When what?" Sirius asked, acting stupid to avoid telling her.
Lily gritted her teeth and groaned at Sirius. "When did they have sex," Lily replied severely.
"You should really be talking to him about this," Sirius replied.
"When?" Lily asked firmly, with anger in her eyes.
Sirius sighed. "Summer before sixth year."
Lily took a deep breath and asked. "So how come I haven't heard her mentioned at all?"
"James and her don't talk anymore," Sirius said with a shrug.
Lily sighed and looked out across the lake.
"He really never told you about this?" Sirius wondered.
Lily shook her head slowly, and turned away from Sirius so he wouldn't see the tears falling...
…but he knew. "Crap, I'm in trouble," Sirius muttered to himself.
"Hey guys, where's Sirius?"
"I saw them go outside together after Defense Against the Dark Arts," Madison said, not looking up from her work.
"Sirius and Li-" Madison started, and then cut herself off. "Um, Sirius and some girl."
"He's with Lily?" James asked, surprised.
Remus shrugged, "Guess so."
"Why?" James asked alarmed.
"Why do you care? She's not yours to keep track of anymore," Mia said harshly.
"Calm down Mia. People break up all the time," Kayla said.
"Yeah, sure," Mia said, glaring at James and then looking back at Remus.
James sighed, realizing that Mia knew the reason he and Lily broke up. His guess was that Remus told Mia.
"I just thought Lily hated Sirius," James said with a shrug.
"She doesn't hate him! She's always thought he was funny. Maybe could treat girls a little better, but all in all she thinks he was a pretty good guy," Elsie informed.
"Yeah, sure, right," James said, sitting in a chair at the table, looking out the commons room doorway.
Kayla noticed James staring at the doorway. "They're not doing anything James. Stop worrying. You broke up with her remember? Why do you care where she is all of a sudden?"
"I don't. I'm just staring into space because I'm bored," James lied.
"And you happen to be looking at the entrance? I'm sure they only went to talk about something. Don't wor-"
"Uh buddy? We kind of need to talk…" Sirius said, walking into the room.
"Where's Lily?" Elise wondered.
"In her room," Sirius said, still looking at James.
"YOU TOLD HER!" James shouted, plopping onto his bed.
"I figured you told her!" Sirius exclaimed.
"I've told you before that I never told her. I mean, it never really came up…" James said, covering his face with his hands and groaning. "She must hate me."
"I think she already hated you when you broke up with her because she wouldn't have sex with you. Dude, what were you thinking?"
"That at nearly eighteen and after going out for almost a year that she'd be ready! Every other girl in all of England would have been," James explained.
"Yeah, and Lily's different," Sirius explained, sitting in his desk chair.
"Oh what do you know? No girl to you is 'different,'" James said with a groan.
"Yes, but there was one girl who was different to you…" Sirius pointed out. "All I heard for eleven months was Lily this and Lily that. Dude…she was everything to you." James didn't have anything to say to that.
Remus and Peter walked in and Remus asked, "What are you guys gabbing about?"
"Lily," they answered simultaneously.
"Surprise, surprise," Peter said, rolling his eyes.
"Big mouth over here told her about Kellie," James said, gritting his teeth.
"You never told her?" both Peter and Remus exclaimed.
"Of course not!" James exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.
"You idiot," Peter pointed out.
"God, I need friends who can keep their mouths shut," James groaned. "Sirius tells Lily about Kellie, Remus tells Mia about the break up."
"Hey! I figured the girls knew already. I always thought girls told each other everything!" Remus defended.
"Yeah, but James didn't tell Sirius about them breaking up. So obviously people keep secrets," Peter pointed out.
"Yeah, but we're not girls," Sirius argued.
"And James didn't talk to Sirius about it because it was Sirius's fault!" Remus exclaimed.
"Guys!" James shouted. "Give it up. This is no one's business but mine."
"And Lily's," Remus pointed out.
"Yeah, but I have a feeling it will be our business separately because she will never talk to me again."
Three days later, James and Lily still hadn't talked. Mostly because Lily was avoiding him.
James gulped and took a few steps forward. "Lily?" he said in almost a whisper.
Lily groaned and didn't have to look back to know who it was. "Go away," she said, not even bothering to get angry.
"I just want to explain some things…" James said.
"I don't really want to hear it," Lily claimed.
"Please just listen to me."
"No," Lily said firmly. "We're not going out anymore, so therefore we don't have to talk."
"But I figured that we could still be friends," James explained.
"You really thought that was going to work?" Lily said with a snort, not turning around to look at James.
"Lily, I just thought that-"
"James, we can't be friends. We were going out for too long. Plus, I don't really want to be friends with you," Lily retorted.
"Please, just go," Lily urged.
"Are you okay?" James asked softly, and then realized that was a stupid question.
Lily rolled her eyes, and tried to ignore that he was standing there. "How come you never told me?" Lily cried out, trying very hard to keep the tears in.
Lily sighed. "What to do you think?"
"Kellie?" James asked.
Lily simply nodded.
James nodded and tried explaining it, "It never came up and then after six months or so, I just couldn't bring myself to tell you. I almost wanted to forget it. I wanted to lose my virginity to…well to you."
"But not when I was ready. Only when you wanted to," Lily said snootily.
"No!" James shouted. "Ugh, you just don't get it."
"What the hell is there to get? You can't lose your virginity twice. You lost it to that Kellie girl and then didn't tell me."
"It was complicated. She was-"
"Why'd you use her?" Lily burst out.
"Kellie. You guys ended up having sex and then stopped talking to each other. Why?"
James sat on a stump across from Lily and shrugged his shoulders as he sighed. "It was just a friend's thing, and we got too close." James sighed. "I don't know what to say."
"Tell me you didn't use her," Lily said, looking up at James. James sighed but didn't open his mouth. "And now you wonder why I think you wanted to go out with me just to have sex."
"I was in love with you Lily! I would never use you! And I didn-"
"Yet you couldn't tell me you weren't a virgin!" Lily shouted, rising up from her stump.
"You never let me be honest with you! I had to watch what I said every time I was with you!" James stood up from his stump as well.
"Well then it's a good thing we're not together!"
"Guess so!" James shouted.
Lily turned away and started stomping off when she heard James mutter, "I didn't use her."
Lily stopped. "What?"
James sighed. "I didn't use her."
"Why should I believe you?"
"Just listen to me okay?" James asked and Lily didn't say anything but just stared at him. "We had hooked up a few times before, but it was never serious. Just a summer thing."
"So far, sounds like you used her," Lily snapped.
James just gave her a look and continued. "We were down at the beach with her brother and his girlfriend sometime in August. They had alcohol and because no one was driving anywhere Kellie and I drank a few beers, just had some fun. Kellie's brother left with his girlfriend, leaving Kellie and I alone."
"Okay," Lily simply said.
"Well we were lying on the towel and one thing led to another and it just…happened," James said with a shrug.
"But why did you guys stop speaking to each other afterwards?"
"Because I was scared."
"Because why?" Lily asked firmly.
James sighed. "Because I was in love with you."
Lily didn't say anything for a few seconds. "But…but that was more than six months before we started going out."
"So? I loved you from the moment I saw you," James explained.
Lily just stared at him, not realizing that she wasn't blinking. She turned away after a minute and looked down at the ground. "Well, I guess I'll talk to you later."
"Yeah," James said, barely audible. When Lily was a few feet away James shouted after her, "Wait, Lily?"
Lily turned around and looked at him but didn't say anything, so James continued, walking over to her.
"I'm sorry for everything," James said with a sigh. "I mean, I didn't mean for everything to get messed up."
"Too late." Lily had to look down to stop herself from crying.
"We can't even be good friends like we used to be?" James wondered.
Lily sighed. "Things are different now. You can't just break up with me because I wouldn't have sex with you, then never tell me you're not a virgin, and now want things to be perfectly fine!"
"I didn't break up with you because I wanted you to have sex with me!" James shouted.
Lily sighed. "You haven't seen other girls," Lily said with a gulp.
"Well, you broke up with me because you wanted to see other people. It's only been a week and a few days and you haven't gone out with anyone else."
"You want me to go out with other girls?" James asked, surprised.
"If that's why we broke up, then you should do it. You want to go figure things out, and now you have the freedom to do so. "
"That's not what I wanted when we broke up."
"Well then what do you want?" Lily asked, frustrated.
"You!" James exclaimed.
Lily didn't say anything.
"I don't really know what I was thinking," James started.
"What are you saying James?" Lily asked with a sigh.
"I don't want us to move faster. I don't know why I said that. I liked it just where we were. We're just kids. We have our entire lives ahead of us."
"I've always thought that."
"So I think we should get bac-"
Lily cut him off, "Don't say it."
"What? Why not?" James asked alarmed.
"Because I'm not sure I'll be able to refuse," Lily said softly.
"Why would you?" James asked, obviously confused.
"Because like I've been saying, things are different," Lily explained.
"Do they have to be?"
Lily sighed and didn't say anything for a few seconds. She looked down at the ground, sighed again, and then looked back up. "They already are." Lily trudged off.
"Where are you going?" James shouted after her.
"To find ice cream and a dart board with your face on it!" Lily shouted, running off before James could see her crying.
"Lily?" Mia exclaimed, walking into the room.
Lily looked up and squeaked, "I'm ready to wallow."
Well, that's it. My very first story posted. This is definitely not my first one written, but I decided to post this one first.