Hawkgirl in Wonderland.

Before I start this fic, I want to make one thing absolutely clear; I am perfectly straight. Straight as an arrow. Always have been, always will be. I am, however, open minded and a big fan of CLAMP's work. This is based on the comic Miyuki Chan in Wonderland, which is the story of a schoolgirl being hit on in an imaginary world by dozens of beautiful women. The art is great, the outfits fantastic, but its Miyuki's reaction to these women's interest in her that makes the comic worth reading. I wanted to get it into a fanfiction, so who better to have assaulted by amorous lesbians than Hawkgirl?

I don't own Justice League. And as far as I'm concerned, the episodes of Starcrossed don't exist. La la la la, I'm not listening, la la la…


"This is really weird…"

Hawkgirl stood alone, clutching her mace in the middle of a long corridor with a marble floor. It didn't make sense. Just a moment before, she had been beating in the heads of some annoyingly shiny robots, and then there was a bright light, and now she was…somewhere else. She had a bad feeling about this place; a sort of crawling revulsion that made her want to wrap her arms around herself and run away. To add to this obnoxious feeling, her helmet was getting on her nerves. She pulled it off and took a good look around, but saw nothing. With a long suffering sigh, she began walking.

She walked for a solid hour, until she was just about ready to bash in one of the walls. Her mace glittered in anticipation, but then she caught sight of a person just up ahead. She cheered up, because if this person couldn't tell her where she was, she could at least beat him/her up.

It was a her. And apparently, she was a nurse. She had a little lectern, and she was arranging notes on it. Her pale blonde hair was tied into two fat braids and secured under her nurse's cap so that they peeked out to tap on her shoulders as she bustled about. She was tall, almost as tall as Wonder Woman, and rather thin, but her face was cute. She hummed a little tune merrily as she worked, stopping only to pull down the hem of her short white skirt. Hawkgirl was relieved to see such a benign character. She called out to the nurse.

"Excuse me?"

The nurse looked up and flashed her a brilliant smile.

"Hello, dear!" the nurse chirruped. Hawkgirl smiled back, a little gingerly.

"Could you tell me where I am, please?" she asked. The nurse's smile disappeared and was replaced by a look of intense concentration. She stepped out from behind the lectern, raised her pointed finger and spun around in a circle while Hawkgirl watched, growing more and more bewildered with each moment that passed. Finally, the nurse stopped spinning and gave a light cheer.

"Yay! I know where we are!"

"So, where are we?" Hawkgirl asked, wanting to get the hell out of there.

"We're here!" the nurse squealed, clapping her hands together as though celebrating the solving of some unfathomable equation. Hawkgirl groaned mentally. The woman was obviously quite mad.

"And where's here?" she asked, her short capacity for patience making it difficult to keep herself from strangling the woman. The nurse's expression shifted into concentration mode, but after a few minutes she seemed to drift off. Her mouth twisted into a little smile and she leaned closer to the baffled superhero. Hawkgirl backed away.

"What? What is it?"

The nurse's smile grew wider. "You're a very pretty girl."

"Um, thanks, but that's not really…"

"You've got such pretty eyes…"

"… yeah, thanks, but…"

"…and lovely skin…"

"…okay, you too, but I…"

"… and a cute nose…"

"…listen, I really need…"

"…and your mouth is to die for!"

With that, the nurse leaped over the lectern, crashed into the shocked superhero and knocked them both to the ground. Hawkgirl was too shocked to do anything, when if some super villain had accosted her that way she would have beaten them to a pulp in seconds. But this enemy wasn't hell bent on killing her, this enemy wanted to kiss her! And the nurse succeeded, taking advantage of Shayera's stupor to cover her face and neck with tiny kisses, punctuated by shrill giggles.

Finally, Hawkgirl regained her senses and pushed the nurse off of her.

"What the hell are you doing?" she screamed, in a way most unlike her.

"I'm sorry," said the nurse breathlessly, "I just couldn't resist. You're so pretty! I should get Margery. Margery!"

"Good. Maybe this Margery person can tell me where I am," Hawkgirl muttered under her breath, while wiping her face with her arm.

"Hello?" A voice, huskier than that of the nurse's but just as chirpy, sounded from behind Shayera and scared the bejesus out of her. She spun around, her hand automatically going to her mace, to be confronted by an air hostess.

That's right. An air hostess.

She was about the same height as the nurse, but her polar opposite physically. Her features were sharper. Her nose was long, her lips thin, her hair short and dark, and her body voluptuous. She had a dark blue hat similar to the white one that the nurse wore, and her uniform consisted of a smart blue suit jacket and a pencil-style mini skirt with a slit up the left leg. The effect was finished by a pair of plain high-heeled blue pumps.

"Margie!" squealed the nurse. She leaped into the air hostess's arms and the two shared a peck on the lips, which soon degenerated into a full-blown snog. Hawkgirl watched, feeling vaguely uncomfortable.

"Excuse me?" she called after ten minutes of making out.

"Hello?" she called again after fifteen.

"Hey!" she screamed after twenty minutes of being ignored. The two women finally stopped kissing. The air hostess set the nurse down and smiled at Shayera.

"Hello! What can I do for you, dear?" she chirruped. Shayera sighed. She was getting sick of the cheerful nature of these women.

"I don't know where I am. Could you tell me, please?"

The air hostess looked serious, even grim. She put her hand on Shayera's shoulder in a gesture of reassurance.

"You don't know where you are? Dear me, that is troubling. But I can help you."

Shayera let out a relieved sigh.

"You're here, of course!" the air hostess chirped with a wide smile. Shayera's mace-wielding arm almost belted her one of its own accord.

"Margie, don't you think she's pretty?" the nurse twittered. The air hostess leaned in closer.

"Yes, she is!" the women squealed like a schoolgirl, "Oh, my goodness! She's positively adorable!"

Hawkgirl took two steps back and fingered her mace nervously.

"I kissed her!" the nurse said smugly.

"Lucky creature!" the air hostess giggled. "Let's see if I can go one better!"

With that, the woman jumped on top of Shayera, who collapsed under her weight. Much to her chagrin, she found that common decency wouldn't let her whack someone for trying to give her a hickey. Her chagrin changed to horror when she felt a hand slip under her bustier.

"Gah! Get off me!" she yelled angrily, just about managing to push the woman off of her. She grabbed her mace, straightened her clothes, and then ran away as fast as she could. As she disappeared into the dark corridor, she heard the air hostess bragging to the nurse.

"Ha ha! I got to touch her boobs!"