Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They belong to J.K.Rowling. This is written in dedication to her and her new baby daughter, congrats J.K!

A/N: This fic is incredibly random, it was inspired by my own "Marauder-ettes" in an incredibly boring lecture we were sat in one dreary Monday morning. Review if you would like, I don't really mind, it's just a one off random piece of craziness. Constructive criticism is always useful though, to help me improve onother fics I'm working on. Cheers me dears!

Sirius' thoughts – underlined

Remus' thoughts – italics

Tonks' thoughts – bold

It was a dreary Monday evening in Grimmauld Place, and the Order of the Phoenix was assembled for their weekly report-in. Arthur Weasley had finished his short but sweet report with a "no news is good news" approach to his uneventful week. He was followed by Kingsley Shacklebolt's equally short story of the ongoing "search" for Sirius Black. This was always Sirius' favourite part of the meetings, as he was keen to know where he had been spotted and in some cases what form of strange attire he had been wearing. It had become a sort of running joke between Kingsley and himself. Kingsley looked at Dumbledore.

"I'm afraid that's it." He sat back down next to Nymphadora Tonks who let out a loud sigh. The past few weeks had been quiet, very quiet. It was almost unnerving. The Order members began to think it pointless in them holding the meeting that night until Albus Dumbledore said those dreaded words.

"Severus, it's your turn I believe." All heads turned to him and, seeing the long piece of parchment in front of the Potions Master, let out a collective cringe. Sirius began to switch off and twirled his wand on the table in front of him. He notice his best friend Remus Lupin, sat opposite him, pick up the nearest quill and began to play the feathers through his fingers, staring at it intently. Sirius' cousin, Nymphadora Tonks, was sat tohis left. She slurped her glass of water loudly and, having placed it back down with a dull thud, began to stare at it with a glazed expression on her face.

"Let me begin with reminding you all of my pressing report from last week," Snape drawled in his usual enthusiastic voice.




Bloody Snivellus.

God that voice goes right through me. It's like he's conducting a funeral!

Like we were listening last week!

"We are gathered here today to bear witness to the departure of Tonks' interest."

Yeah that's right, you're so great Snivvy, you really are!

Could be worse, I suppose.

Wish he were stuck in here and not me.

Maybe not.

One … is the loneliest number that you'll ever do …

God that man is ugly.

Two … can be as bad as one. It's the loneliest number since the number one!

What time is it? Oh I don't have my watch on. Maybe time's stopped. He'll talk forever.

Really should learn more of that song.

I'm hungry.

I'm hungry.

I'm hungry.

Wonder what Molly's making for tea.

Wonder if Nymphadora will stay for tea.

"And, having managed to cope with that all by myself, I don't see it being a problem. I'm sure even those less-capable members," Snape glanced at Sirius, "would be able to manage, if they were to leave the house." He paused for breath.

Is that it? … Nope.

Wishful thinking, there.

Wonder if I can move that glass with only the power of my mind?

What is Tonks doing? She looks possessed.

Hey it moved, wait, Sirius kicked the table.

Ouch, my foot.

Maybe I'll try telepathy. Remus… oh Reeeemus. Can you hear me?

Why is she looking at me like that?

Hey, you looked over. Can you hear me?

Strange girl.

Maybe not.

Is Sirius asleep with his eyes open?

Is Sirius asleep with his eyes open?

Hey, I think I just fell asleep with my eyes open. Cool.

Come on Snape, enough is enough.

That man is just so unattractive. Even if I squint my eyes, like this.

What is she doing now?

Note to self … tell Moony to stop staring at Tonks like that.

I should stop staring at her.

I should stop staring at Snape. Urgh!

"And that about concludes it, Headmaster."


There is a God!

Firewhiskey all around.

"Thank you Severus, for that … fascinating report. I think we'll leave it there for tonight, unless anyone else wants to say anything. Sirius?" Dumbledore looked down the other end of the table. Tonks nudged her cousin who had fallen asleep with his head in his hand. He jerked awake causing her to startle and knock her glass flying over Remus opposite her. He gave a yelp as it landed coldly in his lap. All three members looked to the Headmaster in apology.

"No? Then we'll leave it at that. Meeting adjourned."