I Miss You

By LuckyLadybug

Notes: I never intended to put this up. XD; It was just something I randomly wrote for my own personal enjoyment. But now I find myself wanting to see what's thought of it. The characters, though not named, are not mine, the story is, and this is not shounen-ai. XD; Cookies for anyone who figures out who's talking and who's being talked to.

I miss you.

There, I said it. Are you happy now? For crying out loud . . . I miss you.

Heh. . . . It's crazy, really. . . . I woke out of a dead sleep, forgetting that you're gone, and was wondering if today we'd wind up having a row again over some stupid thing. I actually went so far as to go knock on your door. I think I wanted a reply, even if you just said that it was too late to talk and that you wanted to sleep. But I didn't get any answer. And I know why.

I can't believe I actually wouldn't mind if we started to argue. Well, I guess it's not actually that. . . . But if we were arguing, that would mean you were here. Crazy idiot.

I don't get it anyway. . . . How come you died? I never thought you would. I guess you just seemed indestructible or something. You came back from the dead before . . . so why not again? What the heck did you get into that made it so you couldn't get out alive? It wasn't supposed to happen to you.

Eh, you ticked me off almost every minute we were in the same room. Why should I even care what happened to you anyway? I mean . . . it's not like we really were close chums or something. Mortal enemies would probably be closer to the truth.

Why don't I believe what I'm saying. . . .

Aw, I'm not fooling anyone! He was right when he said that we had to be close 'cause we always came through for each other in the end even though we were always quarreling. Why'd he have to be right. . . .

Heck, I guess I always knew it too. But it only makes it harder to let go. I never really had a family, you know. Not until the three of us met up. Now it looks like that family's breaking up. You kicked the bucket and I'm not getting along well with him anymore. . . . He's always brooding now. I think he thinks that he could've actually done something to save you. But what could he have done?! I mean, come on, we both know you died instantly. He blames himself too much for stuff he can't control.

Well . . . actually, we're getting along better now than we were a while ago. I dunno what happened to him, exactly . . . but he doesn't brood as much as before. Sometimes he kinda acts like his old self. Maybe we'll be able to manage, after all. . . . But it doesn't mean things'll wind up being the same as they were before. They can't be . . . 'cause you won't be here. . . .

We won't be having a row and he won't have to come break it up. . . . You won't be around being all silent and annoying the heck out of me. . . . And we won't have any more civil conversations. . . . I actually enjoyed those, you know. . . . You always wound up actually surprising me. And . . . heh . . . I think I may've surprised you, too, a time or so.

Why did you die? . . . Why did I have to lose one of the only friends I have? It's not fair. But then . . . life isn't fair. Yeah, I know. . . . You'd tell me that. If he dies too, then I'll be all alone again. What would I do then? Tell me that! Come on---tell me!

I don't want to be alone again. I've lived all my life alone, so I know I should get used to it. I thought I had. But when I realized I had a family for the first time . . . it felt good. I don't want to give that up.

You idiot! You stupid idiot. . . . You got yourself killed, and for what?!

. . . You died to save me.

I've got mixed feelings about that. . . . I can't believe you'd actually think I was worth dying for. . . . No one else ever did. And you're the last person I would've ever imagined would care that much. I . . . I want to be grateful for what you did . . . but I'm so mixed up. And I didn't want you to be dead. I never wanted that. . . .

But you know all that already, don't you? I guess . . . if there's an afterlife . . . you still live on, somewhere. I know people really have spirits. . . . Heck, after what we did and eventually went through, how could I not realize it? . . . But yeah. . . . Maybe you're even here, watching me. . . . Hey, I'm not sure I like that thought. . . . Some invisible bloke spying on me. . . . But . . . you wouldn't be any different than you ever were, right? Heh . . . I can't imagine you ever watching me or him if you figured it wasn't your business. . . . Maybe you'd only come around if we needed you. . . .

Who needs you anyway?!

. . . Darn it. I need you . . . so does he. . . . And you know that, too, right? You'd better know it.

I guess . . . I'll always miss you. . . . But I think I'll make it through. Yeah . . . I won't let this get me down. You wouldn't want that, anyway. . . .

Hey . . . you are here, aren't you? You've been here all the time. . . . Imagine that.