I don't own Ron or KP.

Sup'. My name is Ron Stoppable. You know, Ron…Stoppable. Kim's sidekick. Oh well. Anyway, you've probably noticed me at Middleton High. I may not be popular, but I have been noticed on several occasions. Usually people know me as either Kim's friend, the Middleton Mad Dog's mascot, or my personal favorite: "Hey, kid, move!" It doesn't bother me (much). I may be a klutz, in fact I'm fairly sure I am, but if I dedicate myself to doing something, I get it done.

Don't believe me? Just ask my "buddy" Monty Fiske. I knew that he was "bad road" when I first met him. He tricked Kim into getting a jade monkey statue for him so that he could have mystical monkey power. Three words: sick and wrong! I mean, tricking Kim like that was just plain cruel, and mystical monkey power isn't all that cool either.

Wade, foolishly, sent me to Monty's estate with the holo-Kim (she had a family thing to go to) to ask him some questions about the statue. I'm sure you can figure out what happened next: Monty, who had genetically altered hands and feet, started calling himself "Monkey Fist" and chased me throughout his house (okay, so maybe it wasn't that obvious what would happen). But I evened out the odds by experiencing the mystical monkey power for myself. I've totally kicked that hairy freaks but on several occasions.

Fortunately, most of Kim's foes are nothing like Lord Monty Freak. Her arch-foe, Dr. Drakken, is supposed to be a genius, but he couldn't find his way out of a maze with a map. The real threat behind him is Shego. She's a fiery, black-haired woman with a bad attitude. Oh, and she can fire plasma out of her hands. Recently she went solo on a mission to destroy Kim, but I stopped her. What? You heard that I mopped the floor with her? We-e-ell, maybe a roughed her up quite a bit, but that's what you get for trying to hurt my Kim.

WHAT? Me and Kim? Uh…oh, no…I would never…well, it's just that…um…okay, I have thought about that possibility, but Kim and I are just friends and it would be…uh…"awk-weird" if we started…dating. We did go out on one date, but it was because Kim was under the influence of something called a "moodulator". It put her through severe mood swings, and freaked me out. It turns out, Kim did have a real crush on me. At least, that's what she said. I'm not so sure. Oh, yeah, we did go out one other time. Kim went with me to my cousin Rueben's wedding, which was sort-of a date…I guess.

I don't like to talk about that because it reminds me of something terrible that happened to me around that time. You see, Kim and I were spying on the annual super villain shindig, when we saw Drakken using some weird helmet thingy that was supposed to make him super evil. I tried to stop him, but I ended up with all of Drakken's evil energy. I was a much better villain then he could ever hope to be. I don't remember much of what happened, but I do remember Kim's reaction to seeing me turn super bad and start working with Shego. She sounded so crushed. Fortunately for me, good Drakken rocked! He willfully took back all of his evil energies so that I'd turn into my old self. I'm glad that I didn't hurt Kim (physically, at least) when I went bad. If anything ever happened to her, I don't know what I'd do. I'm not sure if I'm in l-l-in lo-have feelings for Kim, but I do know that, no matter what happens between us, we'll always be best friends.

"Ron? Ron? There you are."

Hey, KP, what's up?

"Wade just paged me. Drakken stole a giant laser drill."

Again? Well, let's ride.

—turns back—

Thanks for listening. Later.

FYI: I'm still not competing with captainkodak1using my "My Name is" series.