Title: Love In An Elevator
Author: Vee017
Archive: Ask Please
Disclaimer: Not mine, borrowing.
Rating: PG-13
Setting/Season: Season 4
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Summary: Beka and Rhade. Stuck in an elevator.

"This is all your fault."

Rhade rolled his eyes for the millionth time and he was sure that if he did it one more time that they would likely fall out. Trust Beka to blame everything on him. As usual.

"I wanted to take the stairs, but nooooo Mr. I-think-we-should-take-the-elevator just had have his way now didn't he?"

All right. That part was true. He had suggested taking the elevator when Beka had felt like walking down the stairs. But how was he supposed to know that there'd be a malfunction? He wasn't omnipotent like Trance was.

"...and did you even hear a word I just said?"

He turned his attention back to Beka as she stood with her hand on her hips.
This was not good.
What had she been saying?

"I didn't foresee this Beka."

"That's not what I asked you."


"Do you just tune me out whenever I start talking to you?"

He sighed.

"I'm boring now is that it?"

"Beka, we're stuck in an elevator."

The First Officer threw her hands up in the air, "It's like talking to a wall."

Rhade rolled his eyes and was more than slightly surprised when they stayed put inside his head.
It appeared now that instead of blaming him for their current situation she had decided to give him the silent treatment and face the opposite wall.

Not that he minded. She was actually quite pleasant when she was silent. It gave him a small reprieve from her constant nagging and blaming him for whatever she felt like.
Last week she had blamed him for the Slip Fighter doors malfunctioning, the lack of coffee on the Andromeda, and for there beingno hot water on the Maru (how she had come to that conclusion he would never know).

And just yesterday it was apparently his fault that she had tripped in the corridor when he had been twenty feet away from her and yet no matter how hard he tried to convince her that, no, he didn't have any secret Nietzschean voodoo powers, she still gave him a funny look in the halls.
He was really starting to worry about her.

"You know something?"

Rhade hung his head as Beka turned back to face him.

"I bet you planned this."

His head shot up, "What?"

"You planned this," said Beka with utter conviction.

"Of for the love of...Beka I did NOT plan this, you really are paranoid you know that?"

"Always suspect super sneaky Nietzscheans of super, sneaky, secret activities."

Rhade started at her unable to come up with a response. Super sneaky?
He made himself a mental note to ask Harper what he'd been putting in Beka's coffee.

"I had nothing to do with this."

"Please, we're on Tarazed, Rhade. Your home planet. And what with being an ex-Admiral and all, exactly how hard would it be for you to ask a maintenance man that you've stayed on friendly terms with to set this up?"

Again Rhade just stared at her blankly. The woman was insane.
Taking his silence as admittance of his guilt, Beka smiled trumphantly.

"You're crazy," stated Rhade.

"I'm right."

"You're crazy."


"Super sneaky?"

"All Nietzscheans."

"You're crazy."

"You've said that already."

He groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Who the hell was responsible for getting them out of here? Did anyone even know that they were stuck?

"So why then oh omniscient one, did I purposely get us stuck in an elevator?"

Beka crossed her arms, "You tell me."

"I would if I had even the slightest clue of what the hell you are talking about."

"I'll break it down for you: You. Got us. Stuck. In. An elevator. Understand? Or. Do. I. Need. To. Speak. SLO-WER?"

Rhade gritted his teeth and resisted the urge to bash his head against the wall. "This isn't my fault."

"Do I have to--"

"State your evidence."


Rhade smirked at her brief uncetain look. And was it just him or did her breating just hitch?

"What proof do you have other than the fact that I suggested an elevator to get down quicker or that I just happened to be born Nietzschean, not something I had any control over mind you, and further more how are those things even evidence?"

"I...didn't say they were. Just...reasons."


"Umm...this was your idea!"

So they were back to that now were they?

"Beka, relax. Someone has to know we're in here."

"Yeah the maintenance guy..."

"...that I hired to stop the elevator," said Rhade finishing off her rant, "Yes, I think we've well established that."

"So you admit it then?"

Sighing deeply, Rhade gave up, "Sure, why not?"



A/N: Oh the things an Aerosmith song can inspire:) Next chapter coming sometime in the future.