After reading the Amelia/ G&S songs on the MPM newsletters I just couldn't resist writing one of my own! (I got the title from the MPM newsletters too, I highly recommend them!)It's basically Crocodile on the Sandbank told from Emerson's POV. Probably a bit odd, but its not easy to write like Gilbert! I dare anyone to try it! Anyways....

I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Egyptologist

(Sung to the tune of "I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General from Pirates of Penzance.)

Emerson:

I am the very model of a modern egyptologist,

I travel with my brother an aspiring philologist.

Some may say I'm tempermental, but that's not an apropos,

(It's hard to keep one's temper when dealing with Maspero.)

All egyptologists these days are nothing but a bunch of fools,

Of scientific excavation's principles they break all rules!

In 1885 you'd think we'd have a bit of dignity-

And oftentimes I think that everyone's an idiot but me!

Chorus:

And oftentimes he thinks, &c.

Emerson:

So in giving huge long lectures on predynastic pottery,

And being an eccentric no matter what anyone thought of me,

In digging up the country with an aspiring philologist,

I am the very model of a modern egyptologist!

Chorus:

In digging up the country, &c.

Emerson:

While feeling under the weather at my Amarnian dig site,

Two feminists show up and involve me in their strange plight.

The one's the Sitt Hakim who think's she's just as smart as all us men,

My brother's now in love with her companion Evelyn.

And then to make things worse we soon discover quite a horrid sight-

A living, moving mummy seen walking near the tombs at night!

Chorus:

A living, moving mummy, &c.

Emerson:

This is most confusing, I am quite confounded by it all,

I will not let things change despite what is likely to befall.

I'll still dig up the country with an aspiring philologist,

Since I'm the very model of a modern egyptologist!

Chorus:

He'll still dig up, &c.

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Wel there it is. R&R please! (And yes, there is another verse in the original version, but hell, It was hard enough to write this much!)