I Love Her

by Taitofan

Rated PG-13 for one-sided yuri, het, twincest, and yaoi

Disclaimer- My mother said she'd give me Brooklyn if she had a magic wand... Ah, but no. Beyblade, sadly, isn't mine.

Author's note- This is potentially the longest fic I've ever written and published. Not to mention the closest I've ever come to writing angst. It has a few humorous parts... But the focus is on unrequited love. I love both couples (the un- and requited ones), but this idea hit me, and I had to go with it. So basically, the three POVs tell the same event through their own eyes, and then you see what happens a year later. Yay! Some minor OOCness, and twisting of actual canon events. And I do believe I can claim the first writing of one of the couples with this fic too. )

Flames make me laugh but I'll listen to CC. Please read, review, and enjoy! Finished 12-21-04


Matilda's POV

I love her.

I have for quite some time actually. It wasn't love at first sight, but for all practical purposes, you might as well say it was. It was during the world championships when I first met her; both of our teams were new, and we were the only two new girl bladers. That was what caught my interest at first.

Soon enough I saw her up close, and I realized something-- She was beautiful. More beautiful than any girl I'd ever met before. And her name...

Julia. It just rolls off the tongue.

I'd never been in love before, let alone with a girl. At that point, I'd had a few crushes, including one short-lived one on Mihaeru before I realized that he and Claude weren't discussing blading tactics when they'd disappear together. I've never looked at kiwis the same way...

But I digress.

Julia was my first major crush on a girl, and by the time the tournament had reached Egypt, she became my first love. And best of all, she seemed to be single. After all, she spend all of her free time practicing and doing circus-like beyblade tricks with her younger twin brother, Raul. I knew, because I'd often sneak off when the team had free time to watch her. Luckily, she did her tricks in public, so it wasn't like I was stalking her or anything...

Really, I wasn't. I was just admiring her from afar.

Unfortunately, while Balthez was still our captain, we didn't get a lot of free time. Thus while Aaron was doing his thing and Mihaeru and Claude were making out in some random broom closet, I would search for Julia as quickly as possible, then watch my angel until either she left, or it was time for me to leave for fear of punishment.

As much as I loved Julia, having Balthez break my limbs because I was late wasn't a pleasing thought.

You know how earlier I mentioned how I thought Julia was single since she spent all of her time with Raul? Well, one day, when the tournament had taken us to Australia, Julia and Raul had gotten finished with their tricks much earlier than usual. Since Balthez was gone, I didn't have to worry as much about being late, plus I still had half an hour before I'd promised my teammates that I'd be back. So I took my observing one step further-- I followed her after she left.

Yes, I suppose that day I was acting like a stalker. I ducked behind random people, trees, whatever I could plausibly hide behind, and followed the twins until they reached a park. I thought nothing of it when they looked nervously around and headed into a thick area of trees.

Not wanting to miss whatever they were going to do in there, away from all eyes, I snuck in even closer, hiding behind a large tree only a few feet away from them. There they were, standing in a small clearing that was impossible to see, unless you were hiding behind a tree like me.

All they did at first was stare at each other. Then Julia smiled, not a smirk, but a tender smile like you see in sappy love movies. I was confused of course, but I kept watching. My eyes stayed focused as Raul smiled shyly, a light blush on his face. My gaze never wandered when the siblings took a few steps towards each other. My attention was undivided when Julia took her younger brother in her arms...

God, why didn't I look away?

I kept watching even when Julia brought her face mere centimeters away from Raul's. Her gorgeous green eyes fluttered shut, and her full lips went closer and closer and closer...

Until Julia, the love of my young life, kissed her brother square on the lips.

What did I do next? I didn't run away and cry, or start screaming and make a scene, if that's what you think. No, I calmly stood up and walked away, the kissing couple never knowing I was there. I don't remember exactly what I was thinking, but I do know two things for sure. One, I had to get back to my team to prepare for our upcoming match, and two, I really didn't want to be there when they stopped kissing and said the three words I longed to say to Julia myself...

As soon as I got back Mihaeru informed me that the line up for the next round was announced, and of all the luck, our opponents were F-Sangre. Of course. The first time we face them, not only did I just find out that my angel is dating her own twin brother, but I don't even have a beyblade to battle with. I must have zoned out, because Claude asked me if I was feeling all right. Instead of outing the Fernandez twin, or mentioning the rather noticeable hicky on his collarbone that Mihaeru no doubt gave him while I was out having my dreams destroyed, I just nodded my head.

I knew that if I did still have my beyblade, I'd take on Raul and show him just how unworthy he was...

Yes, I was upset and acting petty. I admit it. And considering that neither of us was all that morally correct to be with Julia, as neither incest nor homosexuality is all that accepted in today's society, I really had no place thinking I'd be better with Julia than Raul would. I realize that now, but back then I was just too angry to see it.

I stayed angry inside and perfectly normal outwardly until the match between Balthez Soldiers and F-Sangre began. I expected to see Mihaeru and Claude battle together against Julia and Raul, two unconventional couples battling in a fight to the bitter end, as the cliché goes. So you can imagine how surprised I was when Julia walked to the dish by herself.

I couldn't help but cheer for Julia in my mind. I might not have had I chance with her, but that didn't mean I wasn't still in love with her; definitely doesn't mean I'm not still in love with her. She won very easily, spinning, twirling, sparkling, and looking generally ravishing the entire time. And as soon as she took her seat and Raul got up, I was fully prepared to cheer as loudly as my lungs could handle for Claude. So I was completely delighted when my teammates took apart their blades, made them into one blade for me, and handed me my chance to get even with Raul for taking away my love.

Yeah, petty. You don't have to rub it in.

It started out so easily. Raul was distracted, that was apparent enough. It seemed like he and Julia had fought. That pleased me more than I like to admit. I was winning; I was going to win the match! Then Julia and I would have to battle in the tie-breaker! I knew I'd never be able to beat her, but a small part of my mind still thought that I could somehow make her mine.

Then everything turned around. Julia demanded to know why Raul was blading so poorly. Raul confessed that Julia was better off without him, and at the time, I agreed. But Julia didn't. Oh no, she went into a speech about how the only reason that she was strong was because she knew Raul was right beside her. And instead of using Raul's distraction against him right away, I listened to her speech, mesmerized by the passion in her voice... Until I snapped back to reality and realized I had a battle to win.

It was too late though. Before I could make my move, Raul was back into the game and, by using moves he normally only did with Julia, knocked my beyblade right out of the dish. With my blade went my jealousy. Julia was smiling... She was so proud that her brother had won, even if she didn't want to admit it. Somehow I thought Raul would be finding out later that night just how proud she was...

Excuse me. Forgive my perverseness. Anyways...

I finally understood that Julia wasn't mine. Her heart belonged to Raul, and there was nothing I could do to stop that. So I went to my love rival and told him how much I enjoyed the match. I shook his hand and told him what a great partner he had... I was smart enough not to say anything else about Julia. Then I told him that I'd like to have a rematch with him some day, to which he readily agreed.

As he walked back to Julia, his sister, his lover, my beloved, I walked back to my own team... And that was it; Balthez Soldiers was eliminated from the tournament. We were gone, and I never got my match with Julia. I was sad, sure, but I was happy at the same time. That battle with Raul had been my epiphany. I knew that Julia was happy, and that made me happy. The hardest part was knowing I probably wouldn't be seeing Julia in person for a very, very long time...

But hey, I still need that rematch with Raul, right?


Raul's POV

She loves her.

I first found out about Matilda's little crush when I overheard Julia and Mihaeru talking. Mihaeru told my sister that he thought Matilda might like her, since she always seemed to be staring in her direction. Even in those rare moments that Julia and I were separated, it was Julia she would look at, never me.

I wasn't upset by this news, even if it were true. After all, I knew that Julia was already in love with someone. Me, to be exact. And sure enough, Julia told Mihaeru that she was unavailable, though she didn't mention names. Mihaeru didn't seem surprised, though I'm sure he had no idea that she was with her own twin brother...

The way Julia and I got together was far from conventional, as any incestuous couple is just about as unconventional as you can possibly get. It was two years before the world championship, when we were fourteen. It was around that time that we seriously began training with our beyblades to become first-class bladers, not just casual fans who did tricks in the circus. We wanted to do more with our lives than just travel around Spain; we wanted to see the world!

So long as we were together.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't have the best self-confidence. So one day, in one of my "I'm-not-good enough" moods, I told Julia that maybe she should ditch me and try to join a professional team, since I just seemed to be holding her back. She couldn't believe that I'd even think that and told me that I was being stupid. She was nothing without me; we were two parts of a whole. Without me, there'd be no her, because I was everything to her.

And then she said the thing that started our whole relationship-- She loved me, more than as a brother, and she couldn't imagine life without me. Then she threw herself into my arms and did something I'd never seen her do before; she started to cry. And what could I do? Kiss her of course. After all, I loved her too, and after our first, chaste kiss, I told her that.

There we were, two twins, in love, trying to make a name for ourselves in the world of beyblading. We were inseparable before, and after that moment, we knew we always would be. So we trained harder than ever, having each other to keep our faith. When we finally made it into the world championships, we thought nothing would go wrong...

Don't you hate it when things don't go the way you expect them to?

The pressure quickly got to me, and soon enough I was doubting not only my abilities as a blader, but also Julia's feelings for me. It wasn't really a big deal at first, until we were in Australia and I decided that I wanted to blade solo to prove that I could. Julia didn't take my request very well. In fact, she felt the need to remind me that every time we'd lost, it was my fault.

Yeah Julia, like that helped my self-esteem any... I know she didn't mean it, but it still hurt. And more than ever I wanted to prove her wrong. After Romero's suggestion, she finally gave in and I was going to battle against someone from Balthez Soldiers all by myself.

Julia battled Mihaeru, winning with practically no effort on her part. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she seemed to look when she got into the game; it was almost if she was sparkling. But soon enough her match was done and I was up. Against Matilda. That in itself had me a bit worried...

First of all, I knew at that point that what Mihaeru had told Julia about Matilda's crush was true. It was fairly obvious, since just a few days before we'd caught her watching us...

It happened before my request, so Julia and I weren't fighting. We'd been doing tricks for the public, as usual. Julia, however, seemed restless. We'd been practicing a lot lately, having barely any free time... I knew exactly what was on her mind. We finished quickly, and Julia practically dragged my to the park we'd past earlier that day. Sure enough, she pulled me into a small clearing, and after a few sappy looks on both of our parts, she kissed me.

Any jokes about me being the uke in the relationship will result in me siccing my beyblade on you.

Anyways... We heard something moving and sprang apart just in time to see the Matilda walking off. I wanted to go after her, but Julia said it'd be better if I didn't. Mihaeru was right, and the last thing Matilda must have wanted at that time was to talk with either of us, the girl she couldn't have and the guy who stole her away.

So, yeah, I couldn't help but be extra nervous when I found out I was battling against someone who probably hated me. Needless to say, I bladed terribly. I thought for sure that I would lose, as did everyone else in the stadium. Luckily, Julia decided to stop being the typical bossy big sister who didn't get her way and gave me one of her pep talks. Knowing that she believed in me and was only so confident because I was at her side gave me the boost I needed to turn the match around.

After that, I didn't take me long at all to win the match, assuring that F-Sangre would stay in the tournament, and thus eliminating Balthez Soldiers. And though she didn't say it, I knew Julia was proud of me. I'll spare you the details on how exactly she showed me later that night...

After the match, Matilda came up to me. I half expected her to start screaming at me and tell the whole world about my and Julia's secret, but she didn't. Instead, she shook my hand and told me I did a good job, and that I had a great partner. Of course, I could hardly disagree. Then she asked me for a rematch sometime, which I accepted. I did feel bad for her; I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was finally accepting the truth, though I knew that wouldn't stop her from loving Julia regardless.

I went back to my sister while Matilda went back to her own team, thinking one thing, a thing I still think, even to this day...

I'm sorry Matilda, you may love her... But she loves me.


Julia's POV

She loves me.

But so does he.

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if Raul and I had never gotten together when we were fourteen. Would I be dating Matilda right now? I honestly don't know what she sees in me, though I've been trying to figure it out ever since Mihaeru told me about her crush. Why me? Why not someone else?

There are plenty of good-looking female beybladers in the first class rankings. Emily was pretty cute, MingMing was simply adorable, Mao was just plain sexy, even Hiromi had her charm, and if you liked older women, Judy was simply to die for.

Yes, I'm bisexual, thank you very much. Raul is too for that matter. We don't discuss it a lot, considering we're together. Basically, he doesn't say anything when I check out any of those girls I just named, and in return, I don't mention his big stack of beyblading magazines featuring Neo Borg. He can say they're for the articles on blading tactics all he wants, but I know he really just wants the pictures of Yuri and Boris...

Anyway, back on track. Not only do I not know why Matilda loves me, but sometimes I wonder why Raul does.

I know, I know, lack of self-confidence is Raul's specialty, not mine. But seriously, sometimes I just don't know. Sure, we love each other enough to carry on a taboo relationship, but even before we're lovers, we're siblings. And yes, I'm the stereotypical bossy big sister who has the philosophy, "no one hurts my little brother but me."

I can be so mean to him... He knows I don't really mean it, and that most of the time I'm only joking, but I can't help but think that sometimes I really hurt him... I don't always think before I say things to him, you know? I might say something with one meaning, but it'll come out completely the opposite.

Take for example, the time in Australia when Raul asked me if we could battle separately during our match against Balthez Soldiers. I was a bit scared that Raul might lose, sure, but I didn't mean for it to sound like I thought it was all his fault that we'd lost earlier in the tournament. Even though that's what I said, more or less...

I felt really bad about it afterward, but my stupid pride wouldn't let me apologize. I couldn't wait until Raul won his match and proved me wrong. Then everything would go back to normal... Then he went and started losing. Badly. Matilda was blading circles around him, and he wasn't even trying. Well, I couldn't stand for that, now could I?

Raul got on of my infamous "Shape-up-you're-better-than this" speeches, which turned into a less used "I-need-you" speeches. And it's true; I do need him to reach my full potential. I told him it two years prior, and I did it again that day. With the exception of saying I loved him of course. I doubt the public would have taken the news well. Besides, he already knew it. No matter how mean I act, we both know it'll all work out and we'll always love each other.

Jeez, I sound like a bad TV drama or something...

Oh well. As I was saying, I gave Raul a speech to get him back in the game, and just in time, he turned the match around. He finally proved me wrong; he won all by himself! I might not have shown it, but I felt like a proud parent. I wanted to run to the dish and hug him, I was so happy! But I restrained myself, instead thinking of the ways I could prove how pleased I was once we were alone. Trust me, you don't want to know some of the things I came up with...

As my perverted mind went to work, Matilda spoke with Raul, though I'm not sure exactly what they said. Raul later told me that she asked for a rematch sometime, but he didn't mention anything else. What else could they have said? Did she mention me? Is that why Raul wouldn't say anything? I wish I knew...

I feel so bad for her. I don't know if she actually loves me, or if it's just a crush, but either way I know I can never feel the same. Sure, she's kind, funny, and extremely attractive, but... I just don't love her. I love Raul, and that will never change.

Oh Matilda, please let this just be a passing crush...


Normal POV

Matilda walked into the old beyblade stadium. No one used it anymore, as the cobwebs surrounding the arena showed. It had been a year since that fated day when she battled Raul. Sure she'd seen Julia a few times afterward, but after Bega had been stopped... The only time she saw her angel was in her dreams.

She received a letter a week earlier while in her home in England, all the way from Spain. The letter was postmarked from Raul Fernandez, and mentioned how he and Julia would be in London for a while, and would she like to have that rematch? If so, he'd be waiting for her... So the pink-haired blader took the train into London an hour away from her home and went to the place Raul had written about, at the time he'd set. No way was she going to miss this opportunity. After all, where Raul went, so did Julia.

But where were they? She'd thought they'd be there before she was... They hadn't gotten lost, had they? She hadn't gone to the wrong place or gone on the wrong day, had she? Or what if-

"Matilda," a voice broke her mental worrying, "you came. I thought that you would. Are you ready for that rematch now?" Matilda watched as Raul stepped out of the shadows and into the dim light, where she could see him. So, he'd been there the entire time... But where was...?

"Where's Julia?" she asked before she could help herself. Raul smiled sadly as another voice sounded in the old stadium.

"I'm right here," Julia said, walking next to her brother. "I wouldn't miss this rematch for anything. Besides, it's been so long since I've seen you..." Matilda smiled happily. Julia had missed her. That was almost as good as saying she loved her back after all this time...

Almost.

"Shall we start?" Raul questioned, taking out his beyblade and putting it on his launcher, the same one he'd used at the tournament a year ago.

"Let's," Matilda agreed, taking her old launcher and blade out of her travel bag and stepping up to the dish.

Julia watched as Raul joined Matilda at the dish. She decided that she'd be the one to start the match.

"Ready!" Julia shouted as the two teenagers raised the launchers and took their battle stance. "And... Shoot!"

With those words being said, two beyblades, including Matilda's brand new one from after her first battle with Raul, landed in the dish, and immediately began attacking each other. Julia watched the battle with a melancholy expression written on her face. Both bladers had something to prove to her, though neither had to. She was loved by both, but her heart only belonged to one of them...

'Oh Matilda, if only Raul hadn't have been my brother, then maybe I could have loved you. But Raul... I love him. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do. I'm so sorry it turned out this way...'

As soon as the match had begun, it seemed to end. Perhaps it was only due to Julia's musings that time seemed to go so quickly, or perhaps Matilda just didn't have the spirit to put up much of a fight, but one multicolored blade lay still outside the dish, while a blue one remained spinning inside.

'That's it,' Matilda thought, strangely not upset, 'I lost. And nothing has changed. Julia is still happy for Raul and I'm still alone...' And it was true. Julia gazed lovingly at her brother, smiling at his solo win. But that lasted for only a moment before she turned to Matilda, suddenly looking serious.

"Matilda, can I talk with you for a moment?" The aforementioned girl nodded her head, and Raul took that as his cue to leave. He gave Julia one lingering look before leaving the stadium to wait for his twin outside.

Julia watched him leave until he was finally out of view, and then turned her attention back to Matilda. She walked up to the other girl, a small smile playing on her lips.

"I know," was all she said. This greatly confused the pink-haired girl.

"You know what?" she asked, having no idea where Julia was going with the conversation.

"I know that you know. About me and Raul being a couple. And I know that you've never told anyone about us. For that, I thank you." Matilda started to blush lightly, wondering how Julia had ever found out. But at least she didn't know- "And I also know that you love me." -Never mind.

"H-how...?" Matilda stuttered, the blush on her face deepening. How had Julia known? How long had she known? Did Raul know too? So many questions ran through her mind, yet she couldn't find her voice to ask them.

"It doesn't matter," Julia told her, not wanting to betray her informant. "All that matters is that we straighten out thing whole thing. Matilda, the only way I love you is as a friend. I'd say as a sister, but seeing as I'm with Raul..." Matilda couldn't find the strength to laugh at her beloved's joke. Julia sighed and continued. "Matilda... I'm sorry. I truly am. But Raul, he's different. I know we're twins and a lot of people would think our relationship is wrong if they knew, but I love him. And I always will. Please, try to understand..."

Matilda wished that she'd wake up and find out that she'd been dreaming. True, she'd already known that Julia would always belong with Raul, but hearing it straight from Julia made it official-- Julia would never love her.

"I understand." And she truly meant it. "I suppose asking for just one kiss is out of the question...?" Julia nodded, the sad look reappearing on her face.

"Yes, I'm sorry, but I couldn't do that to Raul." Again, Matilda understood. She hadn't expected Julia to agree in the first place, but she had to try... Julia did something unexpected though; she walked over to the smaller girl and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Please, try to find someone else, someone who can love you as much as you love them. Hopefully, the next time we meet, you won't be alone... Promise me you'll try to love someone else?"

Matilda, her forehead still tingling from Julia's kiss, nodded. It would be hard, but for Julia, she'd try. Julia smiled, no longer looking sad, and took a step away from her friend.

"Well, goodbye then."

"Goodbye."

No more words were said as the Spanish girl gave one last smile and turned around. Matilda watched her leave, keeping her gaze on the door even after she'd left. She imagined Julia leaving with Raul, hand in hand. Surprisingly, she felt rather... happy. She knew it would take a while, but now that everything was finalized, Matilda finally felt that she could start to move on.

She stood for a few more minutes before packing her blade and launcher back in her bag and leaving the stadium. In a matter of minutes, she was back at the train station, just in time to catch the next train home.

And as she sat in the carriage, among all the other passengers who knew nothing of what she'd been through, she couldn't help but think one thing-

Julia was sincerely happy, and finally, so was she.