Little Defenses

Please please please please please please please REVIEW! Just read. First song-fic. I worked hard to find a good song for this. Robin/Raven…… DUR! As all my stories are….. First chapter's a song-fic. Hope you recognize it. Jk. You probably won't…. This is dedicated to theLilyLady who inspired so many things in this story with hers, named "matchmakers". Oh, and Starfire may be acting like a little bit of a bitch in this story, but it's supposed to be like that. Sorry….

Song: So Unsexy

Artist: Alanis Morrisette

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly,
one small sideways look and I feel so ungood…

'She is so perfect,' thought Raven. Starfire was telling Beast Boy a story about what happened when she was five and her sister, Blackfire, tried to make her trip into a bucket of purple paint.

'No wonder Robin loves her…'

Robin never knew, because Raven never told him. Her interest in him grew every time she saw him. It was something she'd begun to control. Something she was forced to control. But, he'd been ignoring her lately. She turned the page of the Book of Azar, which she was re-reading.


She jumped. A crash was heard from behind a cabinet door.

"Oops. Sorry…"

"Please," she asked Robin, who was grinning, "don't do that again. I was concentrating."

"Sure…" he said. He sat down beside her. "What are you reading?" he asked.

She could literally feel the heat from his toned muscles. She shivered.



Somewhere along the way I think,

I gave you the power to make,
me feel the way I thought only my father could…

She went back to her book. Convinced that he had nothing important to say, but was still glad to have him in her presence. He leaned closer, observing her book.

"You can read this?" he asked, pointing to some of the symbols.

"Yes," she said, "and 147 other dead languages. They are not difficult." She turned the page again.

"Maybe you can teach me sometime," he said.


'Gladly,' she thought.

Starfire came bounding over and sat on the couch next to Robin with a bounce.

"Hello, Friend Raven! I see that you are reading the Book of Azar for the 34th time!"

"I wasn't keeping count," she said and flipped another page.

"Star," said Robin, "I think she's trying to concentrate. Do you want to go out to the garden? I saw Cyborg planting snapdragons (A/N: That's for you Serena4!) the other day."

"Yes! I would gladly accompany you!"

'She knows what she's doing…' thought Raven, 'She knows that she's taking him away…'

Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me.
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked.
How these little abandonment's seem to sting so easily,
I'm thirteen again am I thirteen for good…?

Raven didn't know how to interpret this. Was it out of respect? Or did he just want to spend time with the Tamaranian? She chose the first one so her mind could be at peace, but the second theory kept running circles around her emotions and she was forced to meditate on the roof.

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful,
so unloved for someone so fine

'How come he doesn't notice me like he does her?' she thought, irritated. 'I'm every bit as fascinating as her…' She knew she was lying to herself. But, she had to make herself feel better somehow. And what better way then to lie to yourself? She wouldn't have to worry about breaking promises if she made them in her head and to her emotions. She needed to keep her multi-faced identity in check somehow…

I can feel so boring for someone so interesting,
so ignorant for someone of sound mind…

"I need my roses," she thought out loud and gracefully landed on the roof. She went to the edge turned around so her heels were still on the edge…and did a perfect, backwards swan dive off the Tower. She let herself fall and fall. Robin saw her falling from the garden.


Starfire whirled around and screamed. But, she merely gasped when Raven gracefully slowed down, righting herself and landed without a scratch on the soft soil. Robin and Starfire ran over to her.

"What was that?!" yelled Robin, obviously close to suffering a heart attack, "What was that?!?!?!"

"I wanted to see my roses," replied Raven as she glided over to her beautiful flowers, the duo in hot pursuit.

"But, Raven! What has caused you to act so…so…"

"So what?" she said in a deadly whisper.


Raven turned towards the red-haired girl, utterly jealous and irritated with her.

"I needed to live a little," she said, "Calm down, Starfire."

But the Tamaranian kept whining and whining.

"Do you know what could have happened? What if you had lost consciousness from the fall? You would not have survived! I think you need to realize—"

"Star," Robin said, seeing Raven shaking, "Just let her go. She needs to think…"

'How did you know?' she thought, 'How can you possibly know me so well, when you have spent so little time with me?'

Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me,
one forgotten phone call and I'm deflated…

Starfire walked away, back to the snapdragons, but kept a close eye on Raven as if she would suddenly burst into flames.

"Hey," Robin said. She melted.

"You sure you're okay? I mean, that was pretty spontaneous. Anything you want to talk about?"

'Yes, Robin. That I love you and you make me feel like no one has ever been able to. Oh, and by the way, I think it would be best if you didn't hang around with Starfire anymore,' she thought.


"Alright," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder, "But, I'm always here if you want to talk."

"Thank you," she said, willing the glove imprint to stay on her cloak forever. She heard him scuffle away and Starfire's voice in a mild whisper, asking what Raven had said. She felt her annoyance trying to surface, but shoved it back into the dark corners of her mind.

"Thank you, Robin," she said to herself, pruning her black roses, "Thank you."

Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me,
your hand pulling away and I'm devastated…

Raven walked into dinner that night only to be welcomed by staring. She turned to make tea, not wanting to face her teammates. But, when the drink was finished, she turned around again and saw their hard faces looking at her like she was a freak. She stopped before she reached the table, not wanting to get closer to them. She gave each of them a cold look before asking, "What?" She was glad her hood was up.

And then Robin came in the room and saw the scene.

"Hey, guys. What's for dinner?"

"Pasta," said Cyborg, not taking his eyes off Raven.

"Uhhh…yum…I guess." He walked over and took a big bowl, spooning heaping helpings onto the plate. He looked up again and stopped mid-"scoop".

"What's going on?" asked the leader, apparently catching on to what was happening.

"Nothing, Robin," replied the violet haired beauty. She sat at a different table, everyone's eyes still on her.

But, Robin didn't buy it.

When will you stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?

"Guy's as leader of this team, I demand a response to what is going on," he said.

"It is of no importance, Robin," said Starfire smugly, "We have saved you a seat over here. Come and join us." She patted a seat next to her.

Robin obeyed. And Raven almost cried.

'Starfire,' thought Raven, 'How dare you turn them away from me…. Especially…………Robin……'

She told the boys about Raven's little sky-dive episode today and twisted the story vigorously. Of course they didn't hate or disdain her for it, but they certainly held some contempt at her sudden outburst.

Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me.
I jump my ship as I take it personally.
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly.
The moment I decide not to abandon me…

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful,
So unloved for someone so fine…
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting,
So ignorant for someone of sound mind…

Robin saw her face and picked up his pasta. He walked over and sat next to Raven. She looked up and he was shocked to see tears running down her face. But, the thing that shook him was the look in her eyes. The amethyst orbs were wounded and full of hurt. They drilled their beauty and passionate emotions into him, making him feel what she had today. She stood-up and teleported into the ceiling. Robin shot a hateful glance at all of them. Starfire just looked at him innocently.

Titan009- Okay…..more chapters? Or not…….please REVIEW!